CHAPTER 19
REPARATIONS
Bob closed his eyes for a moment. He let himself search near that part of his
mind that had been shielded by Hexadecimal. "No," he whispered into the semi-darkness. "Dariem is still there, just subdued."
That thought sent a lance of fear through him. He had been afraid only once before, after
he had been banished to the web. The
fear of never seeing his friends or his home. The fear of dying alone in that cold alien place.
Yet he was alone now. It was what he had requested, or more accurately, demanded.
Bob jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes until
they ached, despite that, a bitter tear escaped from beneath his lid. "I'm sorry Dot."
How many times had he muttered those words into the
silence? Still he repeated it like a
mantra.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Unexpectedly, the door came open and light spilled into the room from outside. Bob sat up abruptly and glared at the figure that stood in the doorway, "Go away! I don't want to see anyone!"
"I don't give a rat's ASCII what you want, sugah," Mouse
strode angrily into the room, "Have you lost what little is left of your
mind? After all we've been through to
save your sorry blue hide, you push Dot away like that?"
"Shut up. You
wouldn't understand."
"I'll let that slide, sugah, because you're sick, but you
ever tell me ta 'shut up' again I'll break every link in your basic
body, ya got that?"
"Don't you understand, Mouse? Look at me!" Bob
struggled to stand, to face her. Fury
like he hadn't experienced in some time rushed through him. "The things I said
-- the things I did!"
"I know what you did – Dot knows – do you think she
cares?"
"I care!" The rage suddenly left him as quickly as
it had surged through him. Bob leaned
wearily against the side of the bed. "I
had to send her away. I can't face
her. Not after what I did."
To Bob's complete surprise, a chuckle floated through the
darkness.
"What in the mother board is so funny?"
"Um – what ya just said – I mean, talk about de ja vu."
"Mouse --,"
"Look sugah, Dot's waiting for ya." Mouse smiled. "There's a shower in the other room. If ya don't mind my sayin' ya need to use
it."
"Thanks a bunch Mouse."
"And sugah, don't push Dot away. You both need each other right now."
"I know -- I just --,"
"Go take a shower," Mouse said. "I'll be back a little later. Can ya make it on your own?"
"Yes," surprisingly, Bob felt his strength
returning. He was still glad when Mouse
left him alone again. He was surprised
he was alone considering all the damage he and Vala -- Matrix had caused. He hadn't expected to remember everything
but he did, in rather stark detail.
True to her word, the next room sported a small shower
stall. Bob guessed it was probably for
people who suffered from burns. Someone
had removed his clothing format and replaced it with one of those annoyingly
flimsy hospital gowns. A great position
for a Guardian-turned-viral general. Bob shuddered at the thought. He
located a light switch and squinted at the stark fluorescence.
Scratchy, yet serviceable towels were stacked in a
bin. Shelves sported bars of soap and
bottles of shampoo. They had an
antiseptic smell, but Bob chose some soap and shampoo set the shower at a
reasonable temperature and let it run for a few nanos.
He climbed inside when steam began to rise and spent the
next few nanos lathering up and washing away the grime, but no matter how hard
he scrubbed, the stench of Daemon remained. After a time, Bob leaned his head against the shower stall and let his
eyes close while the spray stung his back and let his mind drift.
***
Dot lay across Bob's chest her body shaking with sobs.
"Dot?" Bob
struggled against his bonds. "Dot what
happened? Oh my User, what have I
done?"
"Bob," Dot smiled at him with tear-stained cheeks. "Oh sweetheart, I'm so --,"
"Let me up! Let
me up now!"
"Bob?"
"Guardian Lan you must calm yourself," A woman Bob didn't
recognize approached the bed.
"What is it Bob? Are you in pain?" Dot went to deactivate the field.
"Dot, I wouldn't."
"Trust me, Rose," Dot said.
When Bob was free of the field he raised himself up on
his elbows but nothing was even remotely familiar. Dot and the woman – what was her name, Rose? -- were staring at
him with a mixture of relief and sympathy that Bob wasn't sure he could
tolerate.
"Bob --," Dot reached for him again.
"No!" Bob held
out both hands to ward her off, "Don't touch me Dot, please go away."
"What?"
"Go away! Get out
now!" Bob couldn't stand to see her
beautiful face so full of understanding. He didn't deserve it or her. Not
any more.
"Bob --," Dot seemed to take more caution in her
approach.
"I said go," Bob laid back down again as exhaustion took
hold but it was nothing compared to the shame. "Please go."
"Bob it's all right, I understand."
He knew she did, and that made it all the worse. Memories assaulted him, taunting him with
the knowledge that he had hurt her. Violated her. The love of his
life and he hadn't been able to stop himself. Turbo had fought, why hadn't he been able to?
"I don't want your pity," Bob made the words harsh and
cold. "What part of go away, don't you
understand?"
"Why you lousy --," Rose began.
"No Rose, it's all right," Dot said.
Despite what Dot had said, Bob knew his words had the
desired effect. He saw the fleeting
look of hurt in her eyes. "All right
Bob," she smiled sadly. "I'll come back
when you're more yourself."
"Dot," Rose said.
"It's all right, Rose," Dot smiled sadly, "Believe me, I
know Bob."
"Fine, but we're putting a guard on the door," Rose said,
"I'll have someone come in and remove Matrix. Perhaps it would be best if they're separated." Then she turned and strode from the room. Dot went to reach for him, seemed to think
better of it, then left the room as well. Bob ignored the guards who entered a few nanos later and wheeled the
renegade's bed outside. He could see
their looks of fear and pity. When he
was alone again, Bob climbed from the bed and turned out the light and was only
relieved when the darkness descended.
***
Bob turned off the shower and climbed from the
stall. He grabbed one of the towels and
began to dry himself, and as he was wrapping it around his waist, he caught a
glimpse of something alien in the room that had him turning quickly.
He came face to face with a full-length mirror.
Robert Lan felt sick.
The image that presented itself was not Robert Lan. Not even Bob, not Guardian 452. It was a horrible thing with scarred limbs
and a network of thin yellow veins all over its body, not as pronounced as
before, but they were still present. Bob reached a hand up to his face and touched his cheek below his sickly
yellow eyes. He turned his hands around
and shuddered at the sight of his black claws.
He wasn't a sprite and he wasn't a virus. He was some freakish 'in-between' being that
defied classification.
He heard a door open and close in the other room. "Bob, where are ya?"
Before Bob could protest, Mouse stepped into the room.
"Sugah, I --,"
"Get out!" Bob
screamed. How could she just walk in
like that? The way he looked! My User, what must she think?
"What in the net is your problem?" Mouse screamed back, "I told you the next time you did that --,"
"Spamit, Mouse, I don't want anyone to see me like this!"
Mouse crossed the room quickly and pressed her face close
to his, "Like what? You're still Bob,
ain't ya? You just went through the web
a second time, sugah. You think I'm so
shallow that I'd treat ya bad because of this?"
Bob sighed, again, the anger drained away. There was a small bench outside of the stall
and Bob sat, "I'm sorry Mouse. User
this is so --," he couldn't find a word to describe it. A gamut of emotions had him turned inside
out and he was hard pressed to deal with everything he was feeling right
then.
Mouse sat down beside him. Bob didn't speak at first. He sat there; staring at his callused hands, "Look at these hands,
Mouse."
"What about them?"
"These are the hands that hurt Dot. Me! I hurt her!"
"Not by your own, volition."
"Come on Mouse, Turbo fought! Why couldn't I?"
"Cause according to Melissa, what happened to you was a
lot harsher than what happened to Turbo."
"Yes," A cold shudder raced across the Guardian's flesh. "What was done to me? How is it that I'm back to normal? I mean, I remember Hex fighting off Daemon." That thought brought new anxiety to Bob. Hex had been in his mind. How much had she discovered? All of his secrets, his fears had been open to her.
"That's something you'll want Rose – Dr. Norton to explain," Mouse said.
"Wait – that was Dr. Rose Norton?"
"Um hmm – you know her?"
"I know of her. Her father's works are required reading at the Academy."
Mouse shook her head, "She said her father was killed in the first assault."
Bob muttered an oath, "Her father was one of the foremost
experts on viral antidotes." Then
something else Mouse had said struck him like a laser shot, "Wait a nano – did
you say, Melissa?"
"Sure, sugah, don't you remember?"
"So it's true," Bob mused, "She really is fighting on our side now?"
"Yes."
"But how?"
"Well, it was Enzo's doing really. The little guy really impressed her."
"Enzo!" Mention of the little sprite's name brought on new fears. "My User, Mouse, is he all right? Valadare --- I mean Matrix --,"
"I --," for the first time Mouse looked away.
"Oh no," Bob said, "Oh User, please no! He's not --?"
"No, not that!" Mouse said. "He's in bad shape though. I've been gathering volunteers to donate energy. Rose is gonna try a transfusion."
"And I can't donate anything because my code is corrupted," Bob spat bitterly.
"That's the gist of it."
"Matrix," Bob said. "Where is he?"
"In another room down the hall," Mouse said, "He reacted much like you did. I don't know what's going on with him now."
"My fault," Bob said. "All of this is my fault. I was supposed to stop Daemon --,"
"And we will," Mouse said. "Now don't go blaming yourself."
"I – I don't think I can do it, Mouse. Not after what happened." Bob looked at his hands again. How he despised them. "I hurt Dot."
"And you'll hurt her even more if you don't go to her."
"I can't Mouse. I just can't."
Mouse rose without another word and strode from the room. Confused, Bob walked back to his bed and lay down. After a few nanos, he dozed, until he heard the door come open again.
Seeing Dot's beautiful face, so full of love for him, caused all his resolve to push her away to deteriorate. Her stunning violet eyes pulled him into their depths and tossed him on a raging sea of emotions.
"Dot." Her name was a whisper on his lips.
She turned away from him and he heard the audible click of the door lock. "I'm not going to go away Bob. I said I'd give you some time and I did. I know you need me. Please don't shut me out anymore. You know you don't have to be the big brave Guardian with me."
"Dot," the emotional turmoil suddenly erupted within him and Bob felt the tears sting his eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of her but he realized he had little choice. All the fear, shame, and anger spilled forth with a groan, and before he could protest, Dot had crossed the room and had crawled onto the bed beside him.
The urge to send her away was nothing more than an afterthought. She was right, he did need her now, in more ways than she could imagine but he wouldn't take advantage of her. For now, he contented himself with lying in her arms; his face buried against her and surrendered himself to the tears.
***
Over and over, Matrix hissed the words between clenched teeth. His hands fisted, itching to destroy more of the space he had confined himself in. Everything in the room that had not been secured was a victim of his wrath. Now as he sat in the shadows, relishing his solitude, he wished he could just fragment and be done with it.
He was relieved that they had left him alone. He had hurt enough people and he has
succinctly told those who had come near him, including AndrAIa, that if they
didn't leave him alone, he'd very well hurt someone again.
He regretted the words, even as he had uttered them. The looks of pity only enraged him
further. Although AndrAIa had looked
more – what, understanding? He had been
in such a fury he couldn't remember.
And the absolute worse thing that haunted him and tore at
him bit by bit was not being Daemon's servant, or the torture, or even the
destruction he had caused, but it was the look of all consuming terror and
agony that had been on the face of a little sprite.
Matrix cringed against the memory. It was one of many that threatened to drive
him random. With his anger there was
shame. After so boldly telling Daemon
he wouldn't give into the pain, he had proceeded to scream, cry, and even beg
for it to end. It was his pleading with
Daemon that seemed to amuse her the most. She had asked him what would he give her in order for the torture to end
and he had said anything.
"Yes."
And guilt. He had almost forgotten the guilt.
So now what was to become of him? He knew he wasn't completely well. Hexadecimal had driven Daemon out of his
mind, but that other presence was still there. Matrix laid a hand over his cyber-eye and felt the hunger. It was another reason why he had demanded
that they leave him alone.
Any brave man would face his fears and leave the room,
not hide like some frightened animal. But he was a coward and he knew what he had to do.
***
WARNING: INCOMING GAME.
Bob didn't move. The computer voice sounded very far away. He doubted he would make the game in time anyway. His Guardian protocol was warring with the
viral infection so the need to make the game wasn't as great. Still, when he sensed the cube slam down
with an ominous finality, Bob shuddered.
"Hmm – Bob?" Dot
said softly into the darkness. "Was
that a game cube?"
"Yes," Bob said quietly as he pulled her closer. How many times had he dreamed of being with
her like this and now that he was, there wasn't a blasted thing he could
do. He had promised he wouldn't take
advantage. She had held him the entire
time he cried, caressing his hair and offering no platitudes. He was grateful to her for it all. He didn't know how he was ever going to
repay her.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes," Bob sighed, "the protocols aren't as strong as
usual. I'm not as uncomfortable as I
normally would be."
"Believe it or not, that's the first game that's fallen
since we've gotten here."
"That is random," Bob smiled into the darkness.
Dot pulled away from him and he immediately felt the
loss, "Do you feel up to going outside? I need to go to Enzo. Mouse
should have gotten all the volunteers she needed by now."
"Yes," Bob said. "I need to see him too. My User
Dot, what must Matrix be thinking?"
"Matrix asked to be alone, like you," Dot said. "AndrAIa asked me to let her see to him and
I'm going to honor that request."
"It must be hard for you."
"It is, he's still my brother after all, even if he is
six feet tall."
Bob chuckled slightly.
"Here, lean on me, that's it."
"I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"We've been through this, Bob. I understood then and I do now."
Bob managed to stand on his own. Dot reached into her belt. "Here's a new clothing format for you." She handed him an icon. "We got rid of the viral one. Does Daemon have Glitch?"
"Yes," Bob said bitterly, "And without my Glitch-icon,
there's no way I can stop her."
"Don't say that Bob, there must be a way!"
"No," Bob said, "You don't understand. It was all dependant on having Glitch."
"You sound like you're giving up."
Bob felt his cheeks burn, "Maybe I am."
The look Dot gave him eventually made him squirm.
"There's nothing I can do, Dot."
"Let's go see Enzo," Dot said as though he had never
spoken. Bob wondered what she was
thinking.
The clothing format was some sort of uniform that Bob
soon discovered was from the factory. He hesitated as he stepped outside of the room. Two guards, a sprite and a binome, turned
and leveled rifles at him.
"It's all right, he's with me." Dot said.
"Miss," the male sprite said, "We were given orders that
the prisoner --,"
"He is not a prisoner," Dot said.
"—was not to be allowed outside without a guard
accompanying him."
"I'm accompanying him."
"Mistress Desdemona won't like this."
"Desdemona?" Bob
turned to Dot, "Katiyana isn't here?"
"No Bob, I'm sorry."
Bob muttered an oath, "It was Desdemona wasn't it?"
Dot nodded. Then
to the guards she said, "Tell Desdemona I'll take full responsibility for Bob."
Bob had to fight not to flinch at that. Although he loved Dot, having her 'take
responsibility' for him was a bit embarrassing. But since it was necessary the Guardian offered no protest.
There was a lot of activity throughout the building and
Bob noticed that most of it ceased as he walked by. He felt his face warm, "Guess I'll have to get used to
that." He muttered more to himself.
"People are frightened because they don't understand,"
Dot replied.
Bob knew he could take the accusing and fearful stares
and the whispered comments. There was
only one sprite's opinion he cared about now, and if that person feared him, he
knew a part of him would delete then and there.
Further on, Bob noticed a mass exodus in generally the
same direction and it only took the young Guardian a moment to realize what it
was. The corridor ahead of them was
filled with people, mostly lounging and talking, which ceased abruptly when
they caught sight of Bob.
The Guardian sighed and moved forward.
"By the code!" The familiar voice filled Bob with relief and broke the tense
silence. "Tis good ta see ya up and
about, Bob lad."
"Gavin," Bob shook the Crimson Binome's hand
vigorously. "It's so good to see you
again."
"We was worried about ye, weren't we mates?"
The crew, which was gathered around him, gave exclamations
of agreement.
Two massive arms suddenly wrapped around Bob and hauled
him off his feet. Bob realized a nano
of panic until he realized what who it was.
"Bob all right?" Princess Bulla set him down after the link-crushing hug.
"After that hug, pretty lady? I'm not sure."
Bulla flushed slightly, "Good to see Bob."
"Yer' here ta see the boy, I'll wager?" Gavin said. "Poor lad. But look at all of
these people just willin' ta help."
"I wish I could," Bob said.
"You'll help by bein' with him when he wakes," Gavin
said. "Yer his hero, ye know."
"I was," Bob sighed, "But will I be now? After everything?"
"I think ye will," Gavin nodded, "He's a good lad. Smart to. He'll know it wasn't ye. Now get
along lad."
"Thanks Gavin, I mean for everything. You're a good friend."
"Aye lad, yer a good friend ta me. Ye could have run me in all those minutes
ago, and ye didn't."
They continued, weaving their way through the crowd. Bob halted when he caught sight of Desdemona
leaning against the wall, while she spoke quietly to another binome.
There must have been something in his face for Dot
whispered, "Bob."
Desdemona noticed them and her eyes narrowed to
slits. "Is this a good idea Ms.
Matrix?"
Again the noise level lowered. "I've already told your guards I'd take responsibility."
"Fat load of good that'll be if he decides to go random
on us."
"I can't promise anything," Bob said through clenched
teeth, "But believe me, you'll be the first to know if I do decide to go
random."
"Was that a threat, Guardian?"
"No --," Bob hissed, "Just an – observation. I am curious though. Did you give any consideration to Mistress
Katiyana's safety?"
"Did you?" Desdemona shot back.
"You have absolutely no idea what it's like in Daemon's
inner sanctum," Bob's voice was low. "I
only hope Mistress Katiyana isn't a prisoner."
With that, Bob strode away. When he was far enough away he halted until Dot was next to him,
"I'm sorry."
She kissed him on the cheek, "Believe me, I
understand. I've been dealing with her
all this time."
Bob learned from Dot that Enzo had been moved to one of
the conference rooms that had been converted into a sick room. It was large enough to accommodate the
machinery that kept Enzo alive. Dr.
Norton as well as four technicians were running about and making adjustments to
various machines that had been set up. Some Bob actually recognized, such as the energy extraction
machine. Mouse at that very moment was
sitting in a chair; the sleeve from the extractor was around her arm. Ray was next to her holding her hand. The only sign of the mercenary's discomfort
was the sheen of sweat on her forehead.
"Love you can yell if you want." Ray said.
"I'm fine," Mouse looked up. "Hey there."
"Mouse, Ray," Bob looked around and noticed how the room
had been divided into two sections by a collapsible wall. "Enzo?"
"They're about ready," Ray nodded towards Dr. Norton who,
although she continued to work, was watching them furtively.
"Dr. Norton," Bob approached the woman, "I know we got
off to a bad start and I'd like to make amends."
Dr. Norton smiled, "I should apologize to you. I wasn't very doctor-like back there, I was just angry for Dot. Actually, it's quite common for infectees to
experience anger or humiliation."
Bob said, "Would it be all right --? I mean to see Enzo?"
"Well," Dr. Norton began, "I'm not sure
--,"
"It'll be all right, Rose," Dot said.
"No, it's not that. It's just that Enzo will still be very weak
for a while and the shock of seeing Bob --," she halted.
"The way I look now?" Bob finished the sentence for her. "I promise to leave at the first sign of
upset on Enzo's part. Please Dr. Norton."
"Rose," Rose said after a moment. "I can see you love him almost as much as
Dot does. All right."
Bob found himself gathering his courage
as he followed Rose around the partition and found that despite doing so, it
failed him.
He briefly noticed the little girl
sitting on a stool at Enzo's beside and knew without a doubt that she was
Melissa. Bob could also see the lines
of exhaustion on the little she-viral's face but he guessed she had been told
to go get some rest and had refused.
But when he saw Enzo, his core-com
shattered into an infinitesimal number of sharp fragments.
The wraith-like form lay still on the
sick bed. A mere shadow of the
energetic youth he had come to think of as a surrogate son. His skin was translucent and pallid
gray-green. Dark bruises under his eyes
were a violent contrast to his coloring.
He was only half aware of Dot moving
away from him to approach her brother and of Rose saying something about having
to run a few more test on the gathered energy to make certain it was pure.
"Enzo," the name came from Bob's lips
in a pained whisper. Then the anger
returned in force and Bob cried out an expletive. He cringed away; his hands clenched and without thought slammed
his fist into the partition.
The wall fell with a crash and some of
those gathered scattered like frightened mice. Then Dot was beside him and Ray was standing in front of him.
"Bob --," Dot began.
"Easy mate," Ray whispered, as he
planted both hands on Bob's chest.
Bob fought for control. In the instant he had let his anger surge,
he had felt Dariem's presence strengthen. I can't give in, the Guardian thought bitterly.
Ray was speaking to him again.
"What?" Bob focused on his face. Those that had not run were staring at him fearfully.
"Okay?" Ray said. "You need some
fresh air?"
"N-no," the thought that they wouldn't
allow him to see Enzo strengthened his resolve to remain calm. "I want to see him."
Bob moved towards the bed and halted as
he met the hostile stare of Daemon's daughter.
"Hello Melissa."
She didn't speak at first, and Bob
could tell she was fighting her exhaustion. Now that he had a better look at her, he could see the pieces of her
heritage in her appearance. He not only
saw Daemon and Hexadecimal, but a bit of Megabyte as well.
"Dariem," she said at last.
That time, Bob did flinch. "Please call me Bob."
"Why?" She shot at him, "You're not Bob anymore. Bob doesn't exist. You
are Dariem."
Bob pushed the anger away, "I was
Dariem. Your sister helped me."
"My sister only subdued him. The Deep Infection can't be pushed
aside. You are Dariem and will be even
after my mother is destroyed."
"I think you're wrong," Bob hoped he
didn't sound as unsure as he thought. He moved closer to Enzo.
"Don't touch him," Melissa hissed.
"I'm not going to hurt him."
"No, you're not."
Bob reached out a tentative hand
towards the little sprite, then drew away, afraid that his touch may cause him
to fragment. It was then that Bob
became aware of Enzo's struggle for each breath. The sound of his battle tore at Bob's core-com. Various wires and tubes were connected to
Enzo's body, making him appear as vulnerable as a newborn sprite.
"Enzo," Bob whispered again. The Guardian leaned over the little sprite
and gently pressed his lips to Enzo's forehead.
"We're ready," Rose suddenly said,
"Stand aside, please."
"I could help him," Bob's voice was
laced with bitterness, "If it wasn't for this infection I could transfer my own
energy into him and heal him immediately."
"This will work," Rose said. "But you must let me do this. Please."
"Bob," Dot gently took his arm and took
him aside. They watched as the
technicians rolled in the machine and Rose made the final adjustments.
Bob was barely aware of what was going
on around him. His mind focused only on
Enzo. People moved in and out of his
line of vision but he paid no heed. The
thought that this wouldn't work – that he would never again see Enzo's
exuberant face so full of adoration for him was more than Bob thought he could
bear.
One of technicians brought Rose an
oblong glass container which she placed into a compartment within the machine,
"All right Little One." The A.V.
whispered and activated it. The glowing
energy traveled from the machine and began to integrate itself into the sprite. After a few moments, Enzo's form
solidified. The little sprite took a
deep shuddering breath. Slowly, his
violet eyes opened.
"Enzo?" Dot rushed to his side.
Enzo blinked, "D-Dot?"
"Oh Enzo!" Dot and Melissa said as
one. Dot gathered her brother into her
arms. Word spread quickly that Enzo had
survived and a cheer went up.
"Dot?" Enzo looked thoroughly puzzled, "Where am I? What happened?"
"Not now sweetie," Dot smiled through
her tears. "Just let me hug you."
"I-I'm cold," Enzo said. "Why is it so cold?"
"Rose?"
"It's normal. He needs time to recuperate. His body has to adjust to the energy. He should be fine."
"Here sweetie," Dot climbed onto the
bed beside him.
The entire time the scene unfolded, Bob
didn't move. How would Enzo react when
he saw him? He had no right to be
here. He felt like an intruder. Enzo hadn't noticed him yet, maybe if he
slipped away?
"What are you waiting for mate?" Ray was right next to him before he realized
it.
"You weren't thinking of running out on
him were you?" Mouse was on his other
side.
Dot looked at him, "There's someone
who's been deleting to see you, sweetie."
Before Bob could protest, Dot drew away
from Enzo and the small sprite caught sight of him.
"Bob?" Enzo squinted at him, "Bob, is
that you?"
"Enzo," Bob started forward, "Please
don't be afraid."
"Afraid of you Bob?" Enzo struggled to sit up straight, "I'd
never be afraid of you! I told you
you're my hero."
Bob crossed the room and sat gently
down on the bed, "I missed you Little Man."
"I missed you too," Enzo smiled weakly
and Bob was unable to resist pulling him into his arms.
"I'm so glad you're all right."
"Bob what happened to you?"
"Long story small fry. Maybe I'll tell you later."
"You look so – different." A shudder passed across Enzo's body. "I'm tired Dot. Can I go back to sleep?"
"Of course, sweetie."
"You'll all stay won't you? Enzo was already drifting off.
"Of course we will, sweetie." Dot
stretched out beside him and draped an arm around him.
"I'm so cold," the little sprite
whispered and fell into sleep.
Bob moved from the bed and motioned
Melissa over. Before the little virus
could protest, Bob lifted her up and placed her on the bed beside Enzo. Then Bob took her place on the stool. He had promised Enzo he wouldn't leave but
as soon as it was feasible he would seek out Matrix.
***
AndrAIa stared pensively at the closed
door. The two binome guards fidgeted
behind her and AndrAIa was rapidly losing patience with them.
Once again, the game sprite pounded on
the door with the heel of her hand, "Matrix! Open up this instant!"
It was too quiet within the room. A few milliseconds before there had been the
unmistakable sounds of destruction but now there was silence. It made AndrAIa nervous.
"Who has the manual override codes to
this door lock?" AndrAIa turned to the
guards.
"The command center personnel," one
guard replied.
"Go ask Dom for them now," AndrAIa
didn't have the patience for niceties. Something wasn't right within that room. "Didn't you hear me? Go!"
"Um --," the two guards fidgeting
increased, "We were given orders not to --,"
"To the net with your orders,"
AndrAIa's claws extended, "Go now!"
The two binomes scurried down the hall
like rats. AndrAIa had a sneaking
suspicion that they were both a couple of Desdemona's bootlicks and she doubted
either one of them would return soon with the codes if at all.
AndrAIa drew and extended her trident
and blew the lock apart with a well-placed blast.
It was pitch dark inside the room, but
her night-vision enabled her to see clearly, the damage her love had caused. She heard running footsteps behind her and
the two guards returned, "What happened?" One asked.
"Go away, I've got everything under
control."
"But Mistress Desdemona said --,"
AndrAIa whirled in a violent motion and
brandishing her trident, she hissed at them, "Go away!"
The two guards retreated
immediately. AndrAIa shut the door,
then welded it closed with a low-level blast.
"Matrix?"
"Go away," the muttered command came
from the far right corner of the room.
"No," AndrAIa said, "Talk to me, Sparky."
"AndrAIa, if you don't leave now – I –
I'll --,"
"What? Delete me?" AndrAIa approached
him. He was sitting against the wall
surrounded by broken furniture and shards of glass.
"I'm a monster AndrAIa. I could drain the life from you. Is that what you want me to do?"
"You're being an ASCII, you know
that?" She knelt before him and reached
out a gentle hand to touch his face. "Oh Lover --,"
"No!" Matrix slapped her hand away. He
climbed to his feet and moved away from her. His back was to her. "Don't call
me that! Don't ever call me that
again! How can I – how can we --?"
Again silence filled the room for a
time, then, "Leave AndrAIa. It's better
that you're not here."
Again, she approached him. "Why, Sparky?"
"Don't talk to me anymore. I don't want you here. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to --,"
Even in the
darkness AndrAIa could see the shudder pass over his massive frame, "Leave me
alone AndrAIa, I have to do this."
His words
and their meaning infuriated her, "Oh what? Hang yourself with your
bootstraps?"
That got to
him. He turned to glare at her and she
took the opportunity to bring her face close to his, "After what I went through to get you back?" AndrAIa jabbed her
index finger into his chest, "No way, buster!"
"AndrAIa
--,"
"Plus,"
AndrAIa cut him off, "it would kill
your sister!"
"You don't
understand."
"I don't
understand? You big green ASCII! You think you're the first person to have
something bad happen to you? You think
Bob is planning on ending it all? What's the matter? The big bad
renegade lost his circuits?"
Matrix
looked as if he would speak, his mouth opened and abruptly closed. He turned away again. His next words were a whisper, "I deleted
Enzo. I'm a murderer."
"No, you
didn't. Enzo is going to be fine."
He turned
back to face her, "He's still processing?"
"Yes."
"He'll
know," Matrix seemed to be speaking more to himself. "He'll know it was on purpose. Daemon saw to that."
"What?" AndrAIa took his hands. "What are you talking about, Lover?"
"He'll
know," Matrix had never looked so distraught, and to AndrAIa's utter
astonishment, tears began flow from his good eye. "It wasn't an accident."
AndrAIa
wasn't certain of the meaning of his words but she decided not to question them
at that point. She wrapped her arms
around him and pulled him into an embrace. "We'll stay here until you're ready."
All the
while the two sprites stood there, Matrix muttered the same thing over and
over.
"He'll
know it wasn't an accident."
The words
left an uncomfortable feeling in AndrAIa's core-com.
***
"Bob?" Dot reached over and laid her hand atop his. She wished there had been another way but how do you tell someone
that their mentor is gone?
"How?" The Guardian looked at her, his eyes moist.
"He was saving Dot," Enzo broke in,
"from Ashar."
"What happened with Ashar?"
"Well Turbo deleted him for one," Dot
skirted the uncomfortable issue. "Ashar
would have deleted me and Enzo and Melissa if it wasn't for him. He died a hero."
"That was Turbo," Bob managed a sad
smile.
"I'll be all right Bob," Enzo placed
his hands over Bob's own. Dot saw the
mixture of emotions of Bob's face. There was anger, guilt, shame and relief all in the most infinitesimal
moment.
"Thanks Little Man." Bob ruffled Enzo's
already unruly hair. "I just wish -- "
He stopped abruptly and Dot could see
his struggle to remain calm in front of Enzo.
"I guess they wouldn't let me have a
moment alone," Bob muttered.
Again, Dot reached for him, laying her
own hand atop Enzo's. "Probably not
now. You'll will have your time to
mourn, love, I know."
Bob smiled at her and leaned in for a
kiss.
"Um…you two aren't going to get all
mushy on me are you?"
"Enzo," now it was Dot ruffling his
hair.
"Um…Dot," Enzo suddenly said, "Could
Bob and I have a moment alone? I mean,
it's nothing personal but I need to talk to him. You know, real man to man stuff."
Dot exchanged a knowing look with Bob,
"Of course, sweetie. I have to see
what's going on at the command center anyway. I'll be back in a few milliseconds."
"Okay," Enzo smiled, "Could you turn up
the heat a little more?"
"Sure," Dot gave him a worried
glance. It was hot outside, she knew
that much, but Enzo had been saying how cold he was. Rose; who was currently treating the enemy forces taken prisoner
in an effort to free them from Daemon's infection; had said it was natural for
the first few microseconds but Enzo had been complaining of being cold for the
past few milliseconds. She was going to
try and contact Phong once in the command center and maybe see if they could
get Dr. Chancery here as well. Dot left
them as she continued her musings.
***
Cold. Absolute cold. And
Darkness. Never had he seen such empty
nothingness.
Then…
Enzo crept through the dank catacombs, holding the sputtering torch before him. Behind him AndrAIa –
He paused at an intersection and placed his hand against the wall, then drew it back sharply as a spider scuttled across it. Enzo swore.
What happened to his voice? It was lower. He looked at his hand. It
was larger, calloused. Was that his
hand?
"What now?" AndrAIa asked him.
"This way," the sound of his own voice
was creeping him out.
The corridor opened up into a large
domed chamber and in the middle of said chamber was a metallic silver snake
coiled in apparent slumber around an immense golden egg.
"There it is," Enzo hissed. "Circle around the other side in case it wakes up. I can distract it."
"All right, Enzo. Be careful."
Unexpectedly, the snake raised its head and blinked sleepily. Its eyes focused on Enzo.
With a hiss, the snake reared. Enzo drew his sword and slashed upward, just
as the snake plunged its head towards him. Acidic bile dripped from its fangs.
"AndrAIa get the egg!"
Enzo rushed the gigantic beast and was
very suddenly and violently being slammed to the floor.
The snake's tail had wrapped around his
ankles and was dragging him across the floor. The young sprite was lifted off his feet.
"Enzo, Enzo!" AndrAIa was screaming.
The snake began to wrap itself around
Enzo's legs, his torso …
There were flashes of white light and a
screaming voice and suddenly the snake began to tighten its murderous
hold. Enzo opened his mouth to scream
and nothing came out and the coils continued to tighten until …
Enzo came awake and looked up into the
tear-filled eyes of his sister and realized he had almost been deleted. But it hadn't been him, it had been Matrix
and Enzo knew then and there that he had Matrix's memories and the nightmare
would be the first of many.
***
"So Little Man, what did you want to
talk about?"
Enzo drew in a breath. He was so happy to see Bob again, even
though he looked really weird now. He
had heard people whispering about what Bob had done and Enzo refused to believe
that his hero had actually tried to injure his sister. Enzo decided he'd deal with anyone who said
anything about it in front of him.
He was glad they were relatively
alone. Enzo had managed to get Melissa
to finally go and get some rest. Somehow, even while he was unconscious he had known she was there the
entire time. She was his best friend.
Enzo was even gladder to be alive. The memory of his assault at the hands of
Matrix was still vivid in his processor. Bob had assured him Matrix was himself, but Enzo refused to believe
it. Not after the hurriedly whispered
conversation that he and Melissa had while Bob and Dot dozed, his sister beside
him and Bob sitting on the stool.
So Enzo figured that he had better say
what he had to say to Bob right now because he doubted he'd get the chance
later.
Enzo drew the blanket closer to his
chin, "Well – I wanted to say I was sorry."
"For what?"
"I --," Enzo looked into the Guardian's
eyes and had to struggle not to look away. That yellow was really freaking him out. "I lied to you."
"You Enzo, about what?"
"What you asked me back in Mainframe
about Matrix?"
A peculiar look crossed Bob's
face. Enzo wasn't sure he knew what it
meant. "You asked me to give him a
chance and I said I would."
"Yes, I remember, Enzo," Bob said
quietly.
"I know this might not be the best time
to tell you this. I mean, I know you're
sad about Turbo and all, but I wanted to say I'm sorry before it was too late."
"What do you mean before it's too
late?"
At his question, Enzo looked away. A shudder passed over his small frame.
"Enzo look at me. What did you mean by that?"
"I mean Matrix," Enzo had to get Bob to
understand. "I wasn't going to give him
a chance even when you asked me. Because I thought he hated me. And now I know I won't because --,"
The figure that appeared from behind
the partition abruptly tore Enzo's attention away from Bob. Instantly, a chill seized him at the sight
of his older counterpart, who looked even more alien than Bob did. It was suddenly and uncomfortably closed in
the room. Enzo took deep lungs-full of
air but his throat seemed to constrict and he was reminded of being crushed by
the giant snake.
"Matrix," Bob started to rise, but Enzo
frantically grasped his arm.
"Don't leave me," Enzo muttered.
"Enzo, it's okay --,"
"No! It's not okay!" Enzo's attention
was once again diverted as AndrAIa stepped beside Matrix. "You don't understand!"
Enzo turned what he hoped was a hateful
glare on Matrix, "But you do, don't you!"
Matrix didn't speak, but continued to
stare almost impassively at the little sprite. AndrAIa said, "Sparky?"
"He hates me Bob, it's true!"
"Enzo --,"
But the little sprite ignored his hero,
his attention, his extreme dislike, all on Matrix, "He wanted to delete me Bob!
"Enzo, you know that isn't true!" AndrAIa said.
"Of course it's true!" Enzo still refused to take his eyes off
Matrix. Enzo knew Matrix could strike
anytime and although Enzo also knew there was little he could do about it he
still didn't want to be caught off guard. "You and Dot were asleep and Melissa and I were talking. Melissa told me all about how Daemon
works. She told me to watch out for the
Bob and Matrix." The little sprite
turned his head then to look at Bob, "But I know you won't hurt me Bob because
you don't have any bad thoughts about me."
His eyes back on Matrix, he said, "But
you do!"
"Enzo," AndrAIa said carefully, "You
have to understand that Daemon had control of them both --,"
"I know she did!" Enzo's voice was high and shrill and he
barely heard Bob's admonishment for yelling at AndrAIa. "But you don't know how she does it! Melissa told me! She takes all the bad thoughts inside of you and uses them
against you! She makes people do bad
things that way."
When no one spoke, Enzo looked from
AndrAIa to Bob, "Don't you two get it?"
When the tense silence lengthened, Enzo
muttered, "Doesn't anybody care that he tried to delete me?"
"Of course we care," Bob said, "But
Enzo --,"
"No," he had to make them understand
before --, "Do you know what he said, while he --? He said he hated me. That
he wanted to delete me and that I was weak and pathetic and once I was gone, he
wouldn't have any more reminders. I
remember everything!"
Still Matrix didn't reply. Enzo went on, "Daemon did something to
me. I know things that only he
knows. I've had bad dreams about things,
places, I've never seen or been to before."
Bob made a noise that drew Enzo's
attention, "No. Bob, you knew?"
"I'd forgotten until now," Bob
whispered. "Yes, I knew about – what
Daemon planned to do – but that was when I wasn't myself. And neither was Matrix. If you're willing to forgive me why not
him?"
"You know why, Bob." Enzo said accusingly. He didn't know what to do about Bob's
admission. Things were rapidly becoming
a waking nightmare. "If he didn't
really feel that way, Daemon couldn't of used his bad feelings to make him come
after me. He wanted me to delete even
before Daemon got to him."
"Matrix, tell him that isn't true," Bob
spoke to the renegade for the first time.
"He can't," Enzo spat the words,
"because he knows I'm right." Enzo threw
back the covers and despite his chill and fatigue, crawled to the edge of the
bed, "Look at the proof. The things he
said in the Principal Office. Yeah I
heard that, and all those other times when things went wrong for him, he blamed
me."
Enzo climbed from the bed. His legs barely supported him but he forced
himself to stand erect and face his glowering mirror image and for the first
time addressed Matrix directly. "You're
even ashamed of our name."
His tiny hands fisted, "I am Enzo
Matrix. You – you're nothing! That's what you are!"
"I'm nothing!" Words exploded forth
from the renegade at last, "Big words
coming from a cheap carbon copy!"
"Matrix!" Bob came violently to his feet.
"See!" Enzo said. "You just proved my point. Get out!"
Bob was saying something, trying to
calm him but Enzo barely heard.
"Get out!" Enzo's strength fled, but he wouldn't rest until the big ugly
green guy was away from him. He started
screaming the phrase repeatedly, "Get out, get out, get out!"
He didn't want to see Matrix. He wished he would never see him again. Rose rushed in demanding to know what was
happening. Things took on a surreal
quality as Enzo was gently forced back to bed by Rose and Bob and AndrAIa all
but dragged Matrix from the room.
Rose was handing him something in a
glass and he drank it without questioning what it may be, "Bob?" He said afterwards, "Don't leave me
okay? I know he'll try to delete me again. Please don't say he won't. You know as well as I do he will."
He heard Bob expel a breath. "All right, Enzo, I won't go anywhere."
"Thanks Bob," Enzo snuggled against the
Guardian's chest, feeling safer than he had in a long time. "And Bob?"
"Hmm?"
"I know you didn't mean to hurt Dot,"
Enzo muttered and as he drifted off to sleep he knew it would not be a peaceful
one.
***
Bob ignored the fearful looks he
received as he made his way through the corridors of the factory. He knew he was being shadowed but quite
frankly he didn't care. If he wanted
to, if Dariem was still in control, he could take control of the entire
complex. The lax security on the ship
had proven that to him. He figured
someone would eventually alert Desdemona to his roaming about, but he hoped he
could get what he had to do finished before – what? Surely Desdemona wouldn't think of imprisoning him again?
He wanted to get back to the infirmary
before Enzo woke up although Rose had assured him the little sprite would sleep
for the rest of the second. Ray was
with Enzo now. It wasn't hard to locate
Matrix and AndrAIa. They wouldn't be
allowed to leave the complex grounds. Behind the factory a grassy area had been created with benches and data
trees for shade for the employees to have lunch. It was there that he finally located the renegade and the game
sprite.
AndrAIa did not look happy. Which Bob supposed was understandable. Matrix was sitting on the bench, his head
lowered, while AndrAIa paced back and forth, her hands waving in exaggerated
motions. As Bob drew near he could hear
AndrAIa yelling.
"I don't understand Matrix. I just don't. What's wrong with you?"
"I told you AndrAIa," Matrix muttered.
"Matrix --," AndrAIa took his big hand
in hers, "Enzo – I want to understand."
"So do I," Bob said, alerting them to
his presence.
AndrAIa stood just as Matrix turned.
"Can we talk Matrix? AndrAIa, a moment?"
"Sure Bob," AndrAIa said. "Maybe you can reason with him."
When the two were alone, Bob sat down
on the bench next to Matrix. For a
moment there was an uncomfortable silence. Quite different from what the two had shared in the past.
"We really blew it didn't we, Bob?"
Bob sighed, "I'll say it didn't turn
out like we expected did it? But no, I
don't think we blew it, because what happened was unanticipated."
"Desdemona," Matrix spat, "I can't
believe she did it."
"Fanaticism makes people do senseless
things," Bob said, "Not that I'm making excuses for her, mind you."
"Can you sense his presence Bob?" Matrix asked after a few nanos. "Is Dariem still there?"
"Yes."
"And Hex knows our thoughts now…our
memories. And Little Enzo --,"
Bob realized that was the first time
Matrix has spoken his other self's name aloud. "About Enzo --,"
"I already went through this with
AndrAIa," Matrix abruptly stood.
Bob fought to control the surge of
anger, "Why didn't you say anything? Enzo thinks you wanted to delete him!"
"I know what he thinks," Matrix seemed
to be fighting his own inner battle. "I
can't help that."
"Of course you can!"
"I can't!" Matrix whirled, "Because –
he's right."
"What?" Bob stood to face him. "You can't seriously believe you meant to
--?"
"No, not that," Matrix turned away
again. "What I said in the Principal Office – did he tell you about that?"
"Yes." Bob said. "I wanted to talk to
you about that too."
"Yeah, I figured you would."
"You're not being fair to him. Hating him for who he is isn't right and I
think you know that."
"It's not him I hate," Matrix
muttered. "It's me."
"But why?" Bob moved to stand behind him. He reached out and after a moment's hesitation, laid his hand on
Matrix's shoulder.
"You know --," Matrix expelled a
breath. "Don't you want to know what
happened to my eye?"
The abrupt change of subject surprised
Bob, "Well – I have, but I figured you tell me in your own time."
"It was in the last game before AndrAIa
and I started game hopping," Matrix said, "It was – the User took the form of
this monster – and I was so basic – I thought I could win. I was stupid and I lost! I let Dot down and you and myself! Because --,"
"Why?"
"I was a weak little boy! I wasn't you Bob! I wanted to be you, I wanted to make you proud of me and --,"
Matrix's massive frame shook and his
hands balled into fists. Bob moved to
stand in front of him but the brawny sprite wouldn't look at him.
"We've been through this Matrix," Bob
said. "I already told you I was proud
of you. Didn't you believe me?"
Finally the emerald-skinned warrior
looked at him, "Of course I did!"
"Well?" Bob suddenly noticed something over Matrix's shoulder. Several binome guards were hurrying towards
them. "You did your best and isn't that
all I've ever asked of you?"
"Yes."
"Stop beating yourself up over
this. I've made my share of mistakes
too. Look at what happened with
Megabyte. Maybe none of this would have
happened if I hadn't trusted him."
"But Bob, there was no other way! You did what you thought you had to do."
"And so did you," Bob said
emphatically. "Maybe I owe you an
apology. I should have never made you
feel like you had to be like me. The only
thing I ever wanted from you was to be Enzo Matrix."
"Yeah but now there are two of me. Who is the real one? He said I was nothing. Maybe he's right."
"No, he wasn't right, and he'll realize
that," Bob said. "Maybe — I don't know,
this was meant to happen for a reason. Phong always says nothing is merely 'chance'. In any event I think you two are going to end up being good for
each other."
"All right Bob," Matrix sighed. "I'll try. I can't promise any miracles."
"Not asking for them," Bob smiled. "You have to make peace with him."
"He won't understand. Especially not with Melissa telling him to
watch his back."
"Hmm – that is a problem," he wondered
if Dot could talk to Melissa. "You'll
have to win her trust to. Because it
looks like she's going to be around for awhile."
"And what about that Bob? I mean Hex was causing enough problems and
now this? I would never have fallen for a viral!"
"Matrix," Bob stepped away as the
guards approached. His big friend still
had a lot to learn.
One dark blue binome stepped forward,
obviously terrified of the two ravenous virals, "By order of Mistress
Desdemona, you are to return to the command center with us, immediately."
Matrix grinned evilly, "Is that so?"
"What do you say Matrix? Blast them into pixels?" Bob smiled, showing his fangs.
"Works for me."
The binomes scattered in panic.
"That wasn't very nice of us, was
it?" Bob said.
"Nope," Matrix smirked and the two
sprites started back inside.
