Buffy angrily beat the punching bag. She felt like such a fool. A fool that didn't see what had been in front of her all along. Xander. Instead, she passed him up time and time again. For what? A dead guy who left her and a creep who only wished he were dead. If an outsider were to see her, it would appear that Buffy was hurt and angry. But Buffy had to admit, if only to herself, that she wasn't hurt. Just pissed off.

Buffy was so intent on the punching bag, she didn't notice when Riley walked up behind her.

"We need to talk," he said.

Buffy continued punching. "I'm not ready to talk to you yet." He could just leave for all she cared. She was trying to figure out how to make things better for her in this life. How to earn Xander's forgiveness for ignoring him all of these years.

Riley took off his jacket and walked over to the punching bag. "Too bad," he said, taking hold of the bag.

Buffy stopped punching. "I'm serious," she turned away. "Unless you want to fight," she threatened.

"So let's fight. We need to have this out, Buffy. Right now," Riley became frustrated.

Buffy grew annoyed. 'What does he want from me? Forgiveness? Will that make him go away?' Out loud, she said, "And say what, Riley? 'What were you thinking? How long have you been lying to me?' Nothing you say right now is gonna make this better." She turned away again.

"I realize that," Riley grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him. His voice grew angry, "I don't expect...I just need you to hear me out."

Buffy narrowed her eyes. Quietly, she responded, "Fine. Get your hand off of me."

Riley let go and walked a few steps away. "I think, when this thing started, it was just some stupid, immature game. I wanted to even the score after you let Dracula bite you."

Buffy was shocked. So now it was all her fault. In a way, it was. She had overlooked Xander. Had she noticed him sooner, none of this would have happened. But she was not the cause of Riley's betrayal. "I did not *let* Dracula..."

Riley knew she was right, "I know. On some level I know that. But I was still spun...I don't know, I - I wanted to know what you felt. I wanted to know why Dracula and Angel have so much power over you."

Buffy's blood began to boil. She shook her head, "You so don't get it."

"I wanted to get it, Buffy. I wanted to get you."

'And here we are, back to the beginning,' Buffy thought. "So this is my fault? Hey, gee, Buffy's so mysterious, I think I'll go out and almost die. I think I'll go and let some other w..." Buffy couldn't continue, so she dropped her head down. Anything was better than looking at him.

Riley rushed in an attempt to fix the mess he created, "This isn't your fault. It's mine. I feel like hell for what I've put you through." Buffy refused to look at him. 'Well, duh!' she thought. "It's just...these girls..."

'Um, girls? Not quite.' Buffy argued, "Vampires. Killers."

Riley continued, "They made me feel something, Buffy. Something I didn't even know I was missing until..."

Buffy was disgusted. "I can't. I can't hear this." She attempted to turn away, but Riley prevented her from doing so.

"You *need* to hear this," he told her.

Buffy pulled her arm from his grasp and moved a few feet across the room. "Fine. Fine! Tell me about your whores! Tell me what on earth they were giving you that I can't."

"They needed me," he said.

"They needed your money. It wasn't about you."

Riley was defensive, "No. On some basic level it *was* about me. My blood, my body. When they bit me ... it was beyond passion. They wanted to devour me, all of me."

"Why are you telling me this?" Buffy begged to know.

"It wasn't real. I know, it was just physical," Riley admitted. "But the fact that I craved it ... that, that I kept going back ... even if it was fleeting, they made me feel like they had such... hunger for me."

"And I don't ... make you feel that way?" Riley looked away and Buffy had her answer. "How on earth can you compare me to that? How can you tell me you understand what those vampires are feeling? You aren't a passion to them, you are a snack! A willing, idiotic snack."

Riley raised his voice in anger, "No, I know exactly what they feel when they bite me, because I feel it every time we're together. It's like the whole world falls away. And all there is is you."

"And you think that I don't feel the same way about you? How dare you tell me what I feel?" Buffy struggled to keep her anger in check.

"You keep me at a distance, Buffy. You didn't even call me when your mom went into the hospital." Riley had a point, but at this point in time, it meant nothing.

Buffy couldn't believe he pulled that low blow. "Oh, I'm sorry. You know, um, I'm sorry that I couldn't take care of you when I thought that my mother was dying."

Riley felt frustrated, "It's about me taking care of you! It's about letting me in. So you don't have to be on top of everything all the time."

'Did he understand her at all?' Buffy wondered. "But I do. That's part of what being a slayer is. And that's what this is really about, isn't it? You can't handle the fact that I'm stronger than you."

"It's hard sometimes, yeah. But that's not it," he admitted.

"Then what? What else do you want from me, Riley? I've given you everything that I have, I've given you my heart, my body and soul!"

Riley didn't believe her, "You say that, but I don't feel it. I just don't feel it."

"Well, whose fault is that? Because I'm telling you, this is it, this is me. This is the package. And if it's so deficient that you need to get your kicks elsewhere ... then we really have a problem."

"They want me back, Buffy ... the military." Buffy was shocked. "It's deep undercover, no contact with civilians. Transport's leaving tonight."

"Tonight? When were you gonna tell me about this?"

"I'm telling you now," he said.

"Are you going?" Buffy asked.

"I don't know. If we can't work this out..."

"Then what? This is goodbye?" Riley shrugged and Buffy got mad. Once again, she chose this guy over Xander? "You are unbelievable. You're giving me an ultimatum?"

Riley denied it, "No, I'm not."

"Yes you are!" Buffy argued, "You expect me to get over it now or you're gone!"

"I don't, Buffy, that's not what I meant."

"Well, I have heard enough. I will not take the blame for this." She began to walk away.

"I'm not asking you to," Riley grabbed her arm yet again.

"Let go of me!" Buffy was incensed.

"Or what? You'll hit me?" Buffy stared at Riley as he spread his arms out. "Go ahead. Come on, do it," he challenged.

Buffy didn't fall for it, "Get out of my way."

"I'm serious, Buffy, hit me. Hit me," Riley ordered. He walked up to her, but she walked around him, grabbing her jacket from the hook. "I'm leaving, Buffy."

Buffy stopped walking, but didn't turn around. He spoke to her back. "Unless you give me a reason to stay...I'm leaving tonight."

Buffy paused for only a moment before walking out the door. 'Good-bye Riley.'

The Slayer didn't make it very far before she found herself surrounded by nine vampires. Buffy can feel the anger sizzling in her veins. These vamps chose the wrong night to mess with her. In a short matter of minutes, she had disposed of them all. Nothing remained but ashes scattering in the slight breeze.

Buffy's Slayer-sense tingled and she knew she was not alone. A slight smile appeared as she realized who the intruder was.

"So, how'd that work out for ya?" Xander asked, emerging from the shadows. "Make you feel better?"

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, ignoring his questions. He looked good. It took a great deal of restraint to keep her from throwing her arms around him and never letting go.

"I thought you might need to talk. Then I saw the skirmish happen. I was gonna lend a hand, but I noticed you grew a few extra ones."

Buffy smiled slightly, but it went unnoticed by her companion. "Something's up. You're acting like a crazy person." Xander told her.

Buffy didn't know how to react to that. She walked away, entering a nearby warehouse. Xander followed her in, still talking. "Take this, for instance. You don't wanna deal, so you hide? It's not very slayer-like."

"Just leave me alone, Xander. You have no idea what's going on," Buffy couldn't even begin to explain the situation to him. Not now. At the moment, she just wanted to be alone so she could figure out how to correct everything that had gone horribly wrong.

Xander responded, "No? Good, so you and Riley *aren't* imploding? It doesn't take a genius. What I can't figure out is how you never saw it coming."

Buffy is surprised. "What? Who told you?"

"Nobody told me anything, Buffy. It was right in front of my Xander face. The guy would do anything for you."

'He's not the only one,' Buffy thought.

"The guy got himself bit by a vampire!" Buffy yelled. Xander is surprised, but quickly masked it. "He lied to me. He ran around behind my back and almost got himself killed! And now he tells me that he's leaving with some covert military operation at midnight unless *I* convince him not to. Now tell me that you understand. Because I sure as hell don't."

"You gonna let him go?" Xander asked.

Buffy sighed, "It's not my decision to make."

"Of course it is."

"Well, it's not fair," Buffy cried.

"Who cares if it's fair?" Xander asked. "In about twenty minutes, Riley's gonna disappear, maybe forever, unless you do something to stop him."

"What am I supposed to do? Beg him to stay?" Buffy could not what Xander was telling her. Did he not love her anymore?

"Why wouldn't you?" Xander was incredulous. "To keep Riley here..."

"I don't even know who he is any more," Buffy admitted. She wondered if she ever really had. "I mean, I thought he was ... dependable."

"Dependable? What is he, State Farm?" Xander cried.

Buffy deflated, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah. I think you mean convenient. I think you took it for granted that he was gonna show up when you wanted him to, and take off when you didn't."

Buffy winced internally as his words hit the bulls-eye. She lashed back, "Look who's talking. Look who has Anya following him around like a lovesick puppy."

"Oh boy, is this *not* about me," Xander steered the conversation back on course.

Buffy couldn't drop it, "Is she more than a convenience? 'Cause that would kinda be a surprise."

Xander grew angry, "If you don't wanna hear what I have to say, I'll shut up right now."

Buffy couldn't believe they were fighting, "Good, 'cause I don't." She began to walk off, but Xander intercepted her.

"I lied. See, what I think, you got burned with Angel, then Riley shows up."

"I know the story, Xander," Buffy felt she deserved it. Xander had a lot of pent-up anger at her. She deserved everything he threw at her.

Xander continued, "But you miss the point. You shut down, Buffy. And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy. When he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime. He's never held back with you. He's risked everything. And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums?"

Buffy's eyes begin to water as she realized what Xander was doing. He wanted her to be happy, no matter what. He felt Riley could do that, so he was helping her, even if it hurt himself in the process.

Xander told her, "If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go. Break his heart, and make it a clean break. But if you really think you can love this guy ... I'm talking scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need ... if you're ready for that ... then think about what you're about to lose."

Buffy looked up at Xander, tears in her eyes. "Xander..."

"Run," was all he said. But he wasn't expecting what happened next. Instead of running, Buffy pulled him closer and kissed him. She kissed him with all the pain and longing she had been carrying around with her in this world. Xander told himself he should resist, but his heart disagreed. He quickly forgot everything he had told her. None of that mattered right now. She might regret it later, and he'd pay the price when it came. Right now, though, she was his. For this moment in time, he would actually get what he wanted.

Buffy leaned closer, relishing Xander's musky scent. Things were far from perfect, but she had taken the first step in rebuilding their relationship.

It's funny how things can change in a matter of seconds. Buffy noticed the intruder first. Then she saw his gun. Without thinking, she threw Xander to the ground. The bullets ripped through her body, causing excruciating pain. "Riley," she whispered in shock as she fell to the ground. Riley, seeing the blood seeping from Buffy's body, dropped the gun and ran.

Xander crawled over to Buffy, lying on the ground. "Oh God, Buffy! Buffy! Don't die on me! You can't die here. Not now. Buffy!"