By- NefertiDagger
Series- Metal Gear Soild
Notes- My first MGS fic, a comedy that deifes all laws. Psycho Mantis hits a mid-life crisis, and then shanghaies Sniper Wolf and Revolver Ocelot on a cross country trip through America. I wouldn't ask......
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Day Tripper #1- A Rather Short Proluge
"_Pika._"
"_Chu._"
"_PI!_"
"_CHU!!_"
"This is very boring, I must admit." Sniper Wolf commented, sitting in the darkened theater, looking at Revolver Ocelot duly. He nodded his head and muched on some more popcorn, poitning at the baby Pichu.
"Isn't he CUTE?"
"You scare me. I don't know WHY I even AGREED to go on this 'date' with you." Sniper Wolf groused as Pikachu and Pichu were bounding along the screen. Ocelot turned and looked at the blonde and pointed out-
"Well, you did the Blind Date thing, and look at it this way, we aren't seeing 'Josie and the Pussycats...'"
"I'd rather see that then sit next to you and seeing this revolting piece of shit." She whined, slumping in her chair. She looked up at the flim projector and got an idea. Ocelot paied no attention, as he was too engrossed in the little Houndor and Igglybuff on the screen. He gushed on how cute they were, as Sniper Wolf pulled out her.....
"
*BZING!*
"HUH?" Little children jumped out of their seats and looked at the screen, and Ocelot was now bawling like a little child, since the fim 'broke'. He pulled Sniper Wolf's arm and he wailed-
"WHERE'S PICHU??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
"Oh shut up, you're a grown man. I got sick of the film and took matters into my own hands." She sighed, setting her rifle down. Ocelot's eyes welled up some more and he continued to cry. Little children were escorted by their parents out of the theater, and Sniper Wolf dragged the bawling Shalashashka out as well to the main lobby, where a few angry parents were complaing to ushers and workers.
"We better leave before I get caught..... Let's go back."
"*sniff* I Wanna see Pichu!"
"I'll get you Pokemon Stadium 2 OKAY?" She snapped. Ocelot perked up and returned to normal after the words 'Pokemon Stadium 2'. They got in Sniper Wolf's Mercedes Bendz and left, as Solid Snake, Meryl and Otacon (Hall Emmerich) walked in. Meryl wa smighty angry.
"DAMN IT! Pokemon 3 isn't showing!"
"Oh shove it." Soild Snaked sighed in relief, secretly gald that he didn't have to endure an hour or so of childish tripe involing yellow rats, pink blobs and annoying kid named 'Ash Ketchum'.
"So...... who want's to see the new Crocodile Dundee movie?" Otcaon suggested. Snake punched him in the stomach and they left to see 'Freddy got Fingered'. (A/N- That's the new Tom Green movie BTW)
"Hey, it's the only movie that isn't sold out." Snake commented duly.
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The two dully walked up to the Apartment's 4th floor, to room 469, and Sniper Wolf pulled out the keys, taking a deep breath before entering. She wondered what might have happened while they were gone. Did Liquid Snake (AKA The Main Man of the Apartment) try to finagle Miss Waterflower next door for reasons unknown again? Was Vulcan Raven disturbing the peace again? Was Psycho Mantis..... doing what he always does?
"Let's go. I want bed." She mumbled, and just as she was about to open the door, Liquid Snake opened it and sighed-
"It's you two. Get in."
"Thanks for the movtivation."
"Har Har."
The three sat down on the couch and turned on the television, looking to see what was on late Friday night. Ocelot pointed to the SciFi channel, emphaticly.
"FarScape is on at 12:00."
"True." Liquid pointed out, just randomly poking through station to station, when he was reminded of something he needed to point out to the other two that was somewhat of a great importance.
"Oh yeah... Psycho Mantis has been acting..." He looked around dramticaly. "... Strange."
"When is he not?" Ocelot grumbled as he was upset... that there was nothing on the television. Liquid threw his shoe at him and stated dryly, trying to reach his arm around Sniper Wolf-
"Seriously... he kept muttering something about.. oh, I dunno... going across the country, or finding something worthwile to do. I can't be sure, why don't you go see him, and figure out yourselves."
*SLAP*
"What was that for?"
"I told you, I don't like being hit on by men."
"By the way....." Ocelot was reminded of something else. "I think that Hal Emmerich guy left about 100 messages on the Answering System this afternoon alone."
Sniper Wolf moaned and slapped her hand on her head. She got up and dragged Shalashashka into Psycho Mantis's room, leaving Liquid all alone on the couch. He shurgged his shoulders and though-
"I'm not sad to be lonely here..... on the... couch.... I'm Liquid Snake!"
He then got up and ran into the other room, crying for his 'blankie'.
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When Revolver Ocelot and Sniper Wolf casualy walked by Psycho Mantis's room, he was sitting on the floor, looking away from them. Ocelot snickered and commented-
"What is Liquid talking about anyways? I don't see anything wrong with him at all."
"*pshh* Yeah, talk about a false alarm. I'm going ot rest now. See you in the mornin--" She was cut off by the sight of Psycho mantis turning his head around.... 360... like somehting from either the Exorsist or Shining. The two gasped in horror as he greeted-
"Hello friends........"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" With that said, Ocelot and Sniper Wolf rushed off to bed, not even saying a word to each other or anyone in the hall. Mantis snickered and thought-
"I have found my prey to come with me on my Road Trip...... Muwahahahaha....."
Liquid Snake walked by and stated-
"Go to bed Mantis."
"Yeah, whatever."
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Rather Short eh? Don' worry. The next part will be up when I see fit. Next, Ocelot and Sniper Wolf suddenly find themselves... not where they were when they went to bed.
What's going on? What's up with Psycho Mantis? And why is Otacon phoing Sniper Wolf 100 times per day? The answers... well some of them.. will be answered... next time on- Metal Gear Solid.... Shanghied!
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At the Cineplex.....
Solid Snake, Otacon and Meryl FINALLY got out, along with a bunch of people. Meryl goraned and stated to Snake-
"That's the LAST time you call the Theater Usher a 'shit-head'. You had us ALL stay in there until 11:45 with your pointless bickering!!!!!" Meryl kicked him int he shin and Snake replied-
"Hmmph. Serves him right for trying to take away my smokes."
Otacon said nothing, for he didn't want to be punched in the stomach for the 13th time that night alone. With that, the three left, and said nothing on the way home.