Finding Him
Chapter 3 : The Deal
by : Sakeena deathstalkker@yahoo.com


Legal disclaimers apply to all anime.

Upon opening my eyes, I was in a bed, my head throbbing. I was in a new set of clothes - clean clothes, fruits and flowers on the table beside the bed. It was not my room back in the flower shop but it was just as good.

"Hello there. I'm Aya," a feminine voice greeted me cheerfully.

I looked at the speaker. Long braided hair. Kind smile. Very angelic face. A girl.

"Aya? I thought Aya was a --" Oh. So Aya Fujimiya was a dream. Just a dream.

"Oh you're talking about my brother. His name is Ran but he used my name before and now he's pretty known as Aya. You can call him Ran if you want to. Are you hungry?" With a smile on her pretty face, she went beside me and offered me food.

Aya Fujimiya, the girl, was far kinder and more accommodating than her brother. I liked her a lot. It was not hard to. She assisted me in everything and treated me like the way Omi did, not like the way I deserved to be treated. She stayed with me most of the time, tucked me in bed, cooked me food, lent me her clothes which were by the way, too small for me, so she bought a new set of clothes in larger size, talked to me and made me smile.

Ran then came in an orange sweatshirt and jeans, not the thief suit I saw him in, and interrupted us. He nodded at his sister silently and she obediently understood him, left the room with a grin.

While we were alone, he began questioning me with his cold eyes locked with my own. "Who ordered you to do what you did yesterday night?? Tell me."

Do what? I asked myself mentally. I didn't voce it out, though.

I didn't turn my head away. I stared back at him straight in the eyes though I didn't know what he was talking about. What did I do? "I don't know."

"So you don't know."

"Call me insane but I swear I don't know anything."

For a while he just stared at me, then turned on his heel to leave.

"Wait, Ran. "

He stopped at the sound of his own name.

"What did I do?"

He threw me the paper.

White Rabbit Murders Two Students

Oh My God.

My hand crushed the paper as my head fell down on the pillow helplessly. "I've done it again," I whispered to myself, tears pouring from my eyes. Furiously, I punched the bed, cursed myself.

Ran just watched me silently.

"I told you I am a criminal," I told him. "Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?"

"I never lose that chance, Kanzaki. I can always kill you if I want to."

"And why don't you kill me now?"

"Stop questioning my decisions."

I turned to him. "Can't you see, Fujimiya? I'm some kind of a maniac. Sooner or later, many innocent lives will be lost because of me alone, and I am so powerless to do anything about it. I can't control myself. So you better end it now before it gets worse!"

"I will do what I want to when I want to."

"Just do it! Kill me now! I don't think you can do anything about this either."

"Why don't we give it a try?"

A light of hope came to my eyes, and I stopped crying to gaze at my him, hopefully my savior. "Will you..help me? Try to stop me any way you can." I croaked out weakly.

Turning on his heel once more, he said nothing and did nothing but I knew it was a yes.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. Because later on, I may have to kill you."

"It's a deal then."


I stayed with the siblings since then. They were staying in an apartment, with Ran taking care of the expenses, Aya running the household and me as the parasite. I could not go home anymore. It was under investigation by the authorities. On the other hand, the temple was under some other temple keeper replacing old Amaru. But I could not bring myself to go there either, not even from the gates. The memory of old Amaru haunted me for the crime I did. Besides, it was also under some supervisions. The White Rabbit was, after all, making its way to be one of the most wanted.

I lived my life. Not the way I used to, but at least, I'd like to think it was better. Better than when I stayed alone. I could no longer teach at the dojo, nor go to school. My presence would pose danger for many innocent lives. But I could not stay as a parasite either. I wanted to help run the household.

The dreams stalked after me. It never stopped. There was the constant mind invasion where I saw visions, heard voices, screamed to death.

But we kept the deal.

Ran tried to help me. I didn't know if Aya was aware of this, and my real identity as the White Rabbit, but if she did ,she didn't treat me any less good. In fact she was still nice to me, and welcomed me in their home, which I hesitated to take. My greatest fear would be hurting her, but Ran promised me he'd protect his sister to the fullest, and he'd kill me if he had to. I thanked him for that.

I decided to get a job. But I was afraid. Afraid of myself. I confronted Ran about it.

"I want to help," I said firmly as I walked past the dining table where he was eating all alone after arriving one late night. I had just taken bath and was in a bathrobe, a towel wrapped on my wet hair.


He said nothing. His front to me was still cold, nonetheless, I had seen the way he treated his sister with affection.

"I intend to get a job."

"Do you know what the means?" he asked without looking at me.

"Income."

"And loss."

"But I want to help."

"No one is asking your help."

I sighed. But I would not yield. "But --"

He cut me short stiffly. "Fine. Do what you want."

I was going to say something, but just let it all go. Just as he said, do what I want. Ha! Taking it from the expert, I began to search for a job. But of course, there was this constant fear for myself, as well as the problem I had with myself. It was not easy landing a job with the education I had, and some non-pro jobs available required identification, character reference and much all those stuff that would expose my real identity.

He had a point. And I was beginning to see it.

That I went home late to find him standing by the door, arms cross in front of his chest. I wanted to go home late so I did not have to see him but it turned out he was still awake. I had overlooked the fact that he usually went home late.

"Where have you been?" he asked me like an investigator.

I folded the umbrella as I went it and placed it in the rack. "Where else? Job-hunt," I answered as I passed by him. I heard him shut the door and follow after me. Before he could ask further, I stopped him with an answer as I slammed the refrigerator door. "No. There's no job. And you're right. Nobody needs my help."

Gee I sounded so snappy, snappier that I anticipated. What was I so upset about, anyway? And why was I berating him ? It was all me. The problem was with me alone.

Shaking my head, I stopped, slumping a glass silently on the table. "Sorry." I apologized after a sigh, leaning on the table. "It's just.." my voice trailed off. "I don't know. My life has definitely taken a much more different course and it's not really easy to adjust."

"Do you want to eat?" he asked quietly.

"No. I'm too tired to eat."

"Go to rest then. You'll have long day tomorrow at the flower shop."


Yes. The flower shop all right. It was the only job I could take. The three other less snobby guys, Hidaka, Kudou and Tsukiyono welcomed me, but I could see with the way they exchanged looks how much they were surprised to find Ran bringing me there. I guess Ran never told them anything, and it surprised me. They seemed to be the only ones he hanged out with and he never even mentioned me. Later, I confirmed their surprise. Kudou in fact, told me with wink, "Ran is never popular among girls, because even if he is, he doesn't acknowledge women."

"So," Hidaka came to me as he brought some flowers inside. "Since when have you been staying with
him?"

"Just a week now."

"What's he like?" Kudou asked. "The only woman in his life is his sis, you know.." A familiar voice
came to the door, greeting Fujimiya cheerfully. Kudou sneaked a look at the door and gave me
a friendly pat on the shoulder, gesturing with his head at the newcomer. "And of course, Sakura."
He smiled at her. "Hi Sakura! What's up?"


My head followed his gaze to a girl with short brown hair. She looked really familiar but it took a while before my memory could figure out why. She looked exactly like Aya, except for the hair color, and they were probably even the same age.

She greeted all of us, including me. Tsukiyono, who was busy entertaining another girl, took the time to introduce me to her and she bowed to me politely. Then she followed Ran who was about to water the plants.

Fujimiya was busy with the plants as he watered them, but he stopped to look at her the way he would look at his sister. Though he didn't smile, I knew it meant something. I didn't notice myself gaping at them
until Kudou acknowledged it with a nudge.


It was all just like a simple flower shop. They seemed to know all flowers by heart, which was pretty impressive considering they were men. Kudou liked women a lot, and the women responded to him with the same vivacity. Tsukiyono took the time out to play with his computer at the basement. Hidaka entertained kids and women all like. Sakura left going to school, saying her good-byes, and Fujimiya became quiet again, as thought everything pissed him off. I never knew the flower shop could have that much customer. I think one main reason was because of they boys themselves , not the flowers. Women consisted of the 90 percent of the customers and they sort of liked particularly one of them quite obviously with the way they would approach that particular one saying they were in need of this kind of flower but their eyes seemed to be saying some other things.

Sakura stopped by again that afternoon. Kudou was busy flirting with the two school girls. Tsukiyono was at the basement with his computer, while Hidaka was entertaining a boy. He was looking for Omi.

The boy kinda looked familiar ,but again my memory needed some help. Then I remembered.

"Omi?" Ken asked as he stooped down to level the boy's gaze.

"I'll get him," I said, and fetched Omi.

The boy was Gen. Ohno Gen, a student of mine in the dojo. I didn't know if he remembered me, but he might not have. He was just beginning the training when I stopped teaching. But I guess I must have been looking at him in a different way such that Hidaka noticed it as I watched Omi talked to the boy.

"What's wrong there, Kasumi?"

A thin grin came to my lips. "He's my student. His name is Gen, right?"

He nodded. "Student?"

"Uh-uh. I teach karate at the Ryuugasaki Dojo."

Gen came frequently. He liked Omi a lot. Though Ken encouraged me to talk to the boy, I refused. In the first place, I didn't want to be close to anybody. And, as usual, I fear that I may hold on to some dear things so hard I will break them. Watching Gen was OK for me.

Everyday was like that, similar in one way but differed in another. The difference was, when some men heard there was a new female employee they came frequently to check me out like I was a mannequin on display. I didn't entertain them when I knew they wouldn't buy, so one thing that raised the sales was just to check me out they had to buy something, and it was good.

I didn't know I really was worth checking out. I had always been some kind of tomboy. For one, a karate kido like me seemed to turn off men, and the only man who was ever to go far beyond to touching my soul without feeling my fist on his chin was my father. It was..well..unusual and I was pretty uneasy. But as long as they bought flowers, it was fine fine fine.

My sickness often visited me as well. It picked no time and no place. It would suddenly
strike like a thief in the night, stealing my sanity, from
the apartment, to the flower shop , while walking in the streets or while taking a bath. Whoever was invading my mind sure became persistent and was determined to take control of me again, whether I was asleep or awake. But Fujimiya was there, and it was with him alone that I could feel totally safe. The deal had become somewhat a security to me.

The one invading my mind wanted to drive Fujimiya away. I didn't know why and I sure didn't know how I knew it, but it suddenly dawned to me that judging from my actions, it wanted Fujimiya out of the way.

The sentence 'I will kill you' which was engraved deep in my mind by force seemed to have prove that. Fujimiya Ran was supposedly the next victim, which I was not able to kill. He was strong, stronger and more determined than my other previous victims. Another advantage was that he was aware of everything and was always high on guard.

Other proofs that my invader wanted him dead was my several failed attempts to kill him, and only him and not the other boys. While we were alone, I strike at random. The invader sure didn't want me jailed or he would lose his puppet.

Meanwhile, the White Rabbit was gone. At least, temporarily. Since the mask was wrecked by Fujimiya, I could no longer be that notorious White Rabbit. It was sigh of relief. As long as Fujimiya was alive, I could not go on to the next chain. He was block in the way, and I was thankful for that.

The three other boys were not aware of my disease, because Fujimiya had not bothered to tell them. He didn't even tell them anything about me that I told him about, leaving me to decide for myself which to tell and which not to. Ran ,though cold as he was, was the truly the only one I could trust.



April 2000 © Sakeena