Treason

by Cybaster

Having had made a critical decision of his heart with dire consequences, all Albus Dumbledore wants to know now is if he will be forgiven for it. But does it matter at all even if he is? The Last Chapter is comin' up in a bit...

2. Justice

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore and all related names, places and factions belong to Joanne Kathleen Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing and Raincoast Books. Wait, don't walk away yet! There's something else! The below lyrics (exact!) came from the song 'Komm Susser Tod' --- 'Come Sweet Death', sung by Megumi Hayashibara (I think), and can be found from the "End of Evangelion" Japanese anime movie.

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Part 2: Justice

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I know, I know I've let you down,
I've been a fool to myself
To think that I could live for no-one else;
But now, through all the hurt and pain
It's time for me to respect
Those who you love mean more than anything;
So with sadness in my heart,
Now the best thing I could do
Is end it all
And leave forever;
What's done is done, it feels so bad,
What once was happy, now is sad;
I'll never love again,
My world is ending...

--"Komm Susser Tod", sung by Megumi Hayashibara
From the 'End of Evangelion' Anime Movie OST

* * *

Dear Albus,

I'm sorry. I really am.

By the time you read this note, I will have left Hogwarts completely. Draco Malfoy has finally managed to confirm that a small number of Dark Eclipse troops, as well as their leader and Draco's father, Lucius, will be sneaking into London tonight as spies. The Phoenix Aurors are planning a strike on them as you read this note. According to Draco, the Dark Eclipse have only a token force with them, as their mission seems to be trying to be secretive. Obviously, to little success. I will be going along to help with tactical planning and will also be there for the actual battle. With luck, we can capture Lucius without casualty. Once we have done that, Albus, with the Aegis Pendant and Harry on our side, we can surely then defeat Voldemort outright and end the war early.

I know you are not very well disposed to Draco in this war, but I am sure that Draco is not on his father's side any longer. He did side with us during the Wales Campaign against the Dark Wizards and personally defeated more than forty; I'm sure we can still trust him. Besides, if it really was right that Lucius and the Dark Eclipse were coming to London, we cannot miss the chance to capture their most important troop leader.

And I know you do not want me to get involved in the front lines, but I have to go. I'm sorry, Albus. I can't sit idle for these engagements no longer. I know you care for my well-being, and I feel happy that you are concerned for me, but I cannot bear to live on anymore without doing anything while my own students are dying one by one. I have to go out to the field and help them.

Should you not hear from me by midnight tonight, the mission will have gone awry and I will have been either captured or killed. If this is the case, Voldemort or Lucius will certainly make demands of you; I know this, and I'm sure that you do, as well. If I do get killed or captured, please, Albus, do not give in to any demands of Voldemort's, and you must never, ever, surrender Harry or the Aegis Pendant to ransom me. Even if I die, I die gladly for you and the Ministry's success in the war; if Voldemort obtains the Aegis Pendant, then all I fight for tonight will be in vain. I do not want to see Voldemort hurt you through me...

I have always known you as a reliable, strong man, Albus. Please agree to this last request, so I may have no worries as I fight this mission. As long as you have Harry and the Aegis Pendant, then there will be hope. Should I truly fail, then because of this hope, I shall have no regrets to have tried.

Love,

Minerva

* * *

If that was really what you wanted, Minerva, Albus sighed to himself, then you shouldn't have left. Please come back to me.

"Professor Dumbledore..." Echoed the audible, grim and stern tone of Minister Cornelius Fudge throughout the walls of his subtle, yet powerfully-protected office, as the Minister himself sat behind a polished wooden table in front of Albus, where he stood. Beside him on either side were two other Auror Generals; Alicia stood behind Fudge alongside another guard wizard, looking forward with alertness but occasionally giving Albus the same, sad look. Fudge himself looked much less sanguine, but otherwise remained calm; his eyes still bore a look of sympathy towards Albus, as if he himself knew what was coming and didn't like it. "I'll let you call me Cornelius still. May I still call you Albus instead?"

Albus nodded. "Go ahead, Cornelius. It doesn't matter."

Fudge straightened himself and began to read from the paper in front of him. "Albus, then. You are hereby summoned here on charges of High Treason, Deliberate Disobedience of a Direct Order, and Reckless Endangerment of Ministry Members on the seventeenth of March in the year Two Thousand and Seven. You are hereby being accused of disobeying specific Ministry orders to remain in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Sorcery and sallying out on an unauthorized mission into enemy territory..."

Albus didn't need Fudge to remind him of his own crimes, but he listened nevertheless --- he knew he needed to be reminded of what had brought the world to this. He knew exactly what he did; after he learned that Voldemort had held Minerva hostage in an attempt to ransom the Aegis Pendant, Albus, despite being told that an elite unit of Phoenix Aurors were already on their way to retrieve her, decided to take the Aegis Pendant to the enemy camp site alone. Albus' presence attracted Voldemort's personal attention, however, and in the resultant bargain not only did Albus willingly surrender the Aegis Pendant to Voldemort, the Dark Lord's presence also pretty much massacred the incoming Aurors and, as Albus painfully remembered right before his eyes, put Minerva comatose. Albus failed. Having played to Voldemort's whims like a puppet, he still failed to save her.

He should've let the Aurors handle it and followed with Minerva's request not to give in, but he denied them all. He should've listened to the Ministry and remembered its trust in him not to hand over the Pendant despite anything, but he didn't listen. He surrendered the artefact and lost half the chance the world had to win the war outright. Albus' betrayal of the Ministry's trust amounted to treason --- It might as well have really been treason. After all, nobody would really forgive him --- in their hearts, he was already a traitor.

Seemingly unbeknown to Albus alone, however, Alicia and Cornelius Fudge seemed to understand otherwise. "...After which you had been accused of willingly surrendering a critical Magical Artefact known as the Aegis Pendant to Voldemort, and hereby causing the deaths of twenty-seven elite Phoenix Aurors in the hands of the enemy and causing serious injury to Professor Minerva McGonagall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Sorcery, who was being held captive at the time." Fudge finished, and sighed. His frown turned even deeper. "Through careful deliberation and testimony from various witnesses, as well as pleas on your behalf from Commander Harry Potter, Captain Hermione Granger, Colonel Sirius Black and Colonel Remus Lupin, among others, this court recognizes your dilemma at the time and as such has dismissed the charges of High Treason against you."

There was an audible sigh of relief from Alicia behind him, and the two other officers beside Fudge opened their mouths involuntarily as if trying to say something, but Fudge was quick to drown them out. Albus remained indifferent and remained stolidly downcast, however. Whatever the verdict, it couldn't bring the Aurors back, it couldn't bring the Aegis Pendant back, and it certainly couldn't wake Minerva up. The damage was still done, the trust was still breached. He had shown weakness and lost his strength in front of Voldemort and it was costing more and more lives by the minute.

"But, Albus, you really should have obeyed the Ministry's orders not to make any moves and recklessly put the Ministry in danger. As you had been repeatedly told," Fudge said, forcedly firm. "The Aegis Pendant, along with Harry Potter, represents the Ministry's best hopes for winning the war outright, and the Ministry's tactical planning had already accounted for that. Whatever the reason, you absolutely did not have the right to act on your own especially for something this important in your charge, Albus. It is nevertheless clear that if you had not attracted Voldemort himself by your presence, perhaps the number of casualties would be significantly reduced. Do you understand and accept this, Albus?"

Albus nodded. "I know. Yes, I accept, Cornelius." Albus whispered, his heart half-thinking otherwise --- that would've been the right thing to do and, Albus somehow felt more importantly, the wrong thing to do at the same time. The Aurors may have lived if I didn't go and maybe this war wouldn't have gone so bad...but Minerva would've died. Albus forced himself to finish that train of thought with ridiculous finality and realization of his own reasons for what he did, and finally get that reason off his chest: If Minerva died because of my ignorance, what would've been the point of letting the Aurors handle it? What would've been the point of guarding the Aegis Pendant...if it killed those valiantly guarding it instead? Would there be a point if I lost a dear friend in the process?

Fudge's next question seemed almost as if the younger Minister also had the power to read Albus' mind and share his confusion. "Then I have to ask you this, Albus. Why did you do it?"

To that Albus had no answer --- or rather, had no answer that he could plausibly give Fudge. The reason sounded ridiculous even to himself, but somehow, like Albus had always managed to do before, he knew it was a right reason...it merely wasn't the best one. He couldn't tell Fudge that he did that because he really wanted Minerva to be safe, and keep her alive, or that while the Ministry could always retrieve the Aegis Pendant in the long run --- a feat which was now very difficult but by no means impossible --- Minerva's life was something he couldn't bring back or wanted to really lose forever. He couldn't tell Fudge, because to him, although a part of Albus knew otherwise, Minerva was merely a casualty number, not a friend, fellow teammate, or even, impossible as it would be...

Back then, it was much too true that he really wanted Minerva back...but he couldn't tell Fudge that at all. Because he, along with all the others, couldn't understand. And even if they did, they still wouldn't forgive him.

Albus shook his head in resignation.

Fudge seemed to expect this and sighed himself, realizing that since Albus couldn't trust him with his own reasons, he had no choice but to throw this last stone at him. "Then this court has no choice, Albus, but to find you guilty of both Deliberate Disobedience of Direct Orders and Reckless Endangerment of Ministry Members, as charged of you. Do you accept this judgment?"

Despite having expected it, Albus felt his heart sink. In a vain attempt to save Minerva, Albus had destroyed himself as well. And even with the sacrifice made, he still failed. However, Albus realized that the judgment hurt him considerably less than he would've thought, his heart taking comfort in the fact that at least, despite the failures, Minerva was somehow still alive and that was what mattered. However, there was still the sentence and, knowing what could be imposed on him, Albus' heart raced as he nodded assent.

Fudge seemed almost hesitant to carry on, but the looks of the two officers steeled him again. Looking down and avoiding Albus' look, Fudge continued. "Normally, the combined sentence of these two charges in wartime, Albus, results in a dishonorable discharge, an official court-martial and at least five years in Azkaban, but not only does Azkaban no longer exist, a court-martial is something neither of us need to go through right now. However, you must regretfully be sentenced."

Albus nodded in mute acknowledgement --- and prepared himself for his punishment.

"Albus Dumbledore, it is therefore the decision of this court to permanently dismiss you from your post as Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Sorcery."

His heart sank completely. Hogwarts was half his life and blood, and now he was no longer going to be associated with it at all. He saw it coming, but it still hurt --- everything marvelous about Hogwarts, Albus would have to leave it behind. Whether or not keeping Minerva alive was worth leaving Hogwarts was a question Albus had to deal with constantly since that fateful day, and to this day Albus had no clear answer to it, but he knew Hogwarts would, at least, be in good hands, in the same shape after he was gone when even the Ministry itself fell. And he would see Minerva take his place and do an even better job at it, if she ever woke up and if Albus was still alive.

To him, Albus knew, it was all that should really matter but somehow, another voice in his heart told him that it wasn't. Hogwarts was mostly his life, his soul. He poured his blood into making it the way it was, and his energy into keeping it that way. Now, in a matter of minutes, due to his own betrayal of the Ministry's trust, he had brought this upon himself. After Hogwarts, then what? What really would Albus end up doing?

Holding back from saying anything or letting his sadness loose, Albus tried constantly to remind himself that the important thing to him now was that he was hurting instead of Minerva really dying on him. Although Albus knew it was true, at least in a way, he decided nevertheless to keep telling himself that even if he had to lie --- It would at least let him look strong now, in front of Fudge for the absolute last time.

"But in lieu of your countless heroic deeds and past merits to the Ministry of Magic, this court has decided not to disassociate you from the Ministry at all. After you have been dismissed from your post, you may again apply for another position in the Ministry of Magic. This dreadful incident will subsequently be left out of your record, Albus, but you may never again traverse Hogwarts grounds. Do you accept this judgment, Albus?"

Albus gave a mute nod --- there was no point to that addendum, but Albus could do nothing about it. Nor should he; no matter how noble the cause, he had wronged, and this was his atonement.

"Your official dismissal will take effect at noon tomorrow. You have that much time to move all personal belongings off the premises. A temporary Headmaster will be appointed in your place then until an official decision in that regard is made."

Albus nodded and Fudge, knowing that Albus had been hurt quite enough for one day, decided to quickly end it.

"This court is adjourned. Dismissed. Captain Spinnet, please escort Albus back to Hogwarts."

All at once, as if sympathizing with the old man left behind the shell of Albus Dumbledore, everyone quickly looked at him more than once with sadness in their eyes. They knew well what was being asked of Albus and how much it would, or should, pain him to lose Hogwarts altogether; Fudge, as if holding back from changing his mind, remained silent. Alicia seemed to share Albus' pain, however, and was shivering with sadness as Albus followed her out of Fudge's office.

Albus said nothing, but by now his tears wouldn't come and part of the pain of losing Hogwarts had dulled with a small sense of comfort --- even without Trelawney telling him, Albus had always felt as if he would end up sacrificing his own life for another and it was then he would finally leave the world in usefulness, and this, in a way, was how Albus wanted it. To compare his situation now to what would've happened then was false comfort, at least.

Because of his own fall, he may have caused the lives of others and it may never bring them back, but he had at least managed to keep a life dear to him. Someday when, as if awakening from a sweet dream Minerva woke up, he would see her being stern to those who needed her guidance while hiding back vivacious smiles of pleasant memories, and he would see her own name rise in fame even more and etched forever taintlessly in Hogwarts history where he couldn't...and Albus had a feeling that he would see her live long into life when he would die, whether the war ended or not.

Perhaps this was the way Lily and her love had saved her son then, Albus thoughtfully told himself and felt considerably better, a stronger justification of his actions --- although still inexcusable in the viewpoint of the Ministry but changes things in that of another --- rising out of his heart to replace his doubts. And now, in a similar way, I've kept Minerva away from Voldemort's death as well. That, at least, meant I had done at least something right. I guess all I needed to know now...

He had admitted his feelings again, but this time it was of good. At least, Albus hoped it was.

"Professor Dumbledore," Alicia began, not turning back or not daring to turn back lest she broke down as well. "I want to tell you something."

Albus stood there and looked patiently back at her, waiting to hear what she would say. "Go ahead, Alicia."

"Well...Professor Dumbledore...I know that most---some people out there, especially the muggles who are suffering the war..." Alicia paused and swallowed hard. "I know they blame you for their suffering and how badly the war against Voldemort is going, and I can understand why. Because, to be honest...at times I've felt the same way." Alicia pursed her lips tightly to recompose herself but quickly spoke up again. "Although I know that my husband may still have died even without what's happened to you and Professor McGonagall..." She looked at Albus with an increasingly sympathetic look at Minerva's mention, as if she, too, could feel her suffering. Albus knew much better, but said nothing, more curious than dejected. "...Sometimes, I did think that if you hadn't done what you did that he may not have had to. That everyone may not have needed to die."

Albus' heart shivered, having almost expected that coming even from Alicia Spinnet --- it didn't really matter if it was Alicia or even Harry who was telling him all this now --- and quickly shook his head in apology. "Alicia, I'm sorry. I really am about your husband---"

Alicia quickly stopped Albus, however, by raising a finger to gesture. "Please let me finish, Professor Dumbledore. Although I had thought that at times...I know better now. Nobody can bring my husband back, and you were only doing what you felt was right and didn't know what would happen. I can't blame you, and I won't."

Giving a sigh, Albus narrowed his eyes slightly in waiting and slight comfort in Alicia's words that she hadn't blamed him now.

"I guess what I'm trying to say now, Professor Dumbledore, is...no matter what you did then or will do in the future, I've always believed...and I will keep on believing...that you are a wise and dependable person, and the best wizard the Ministry ever had in centuries. Professor...if you'll allow me to keep calling you that even in the future...whatever you'll do, I'll forgive you, and you'll always be the Headmaster I've known to count on."

She forgave him. As the word escaped Alicia's lips, Albus felt his heart lighten a bit more, knowing that as long as he would be forgiven, it all the more didn't really matter what Albus would be in the future. Alicia's forgiveness, however, wasn't the most important one to Albus and he knew it. That forgiveness would likely never exist. Not from her lips.

Albus nodded mutely, not sure what really to take from all this. "Thank you, Alicia. And if that's what you want, go right ahead and call me whatever you want. It doesn't really matter now."

"It does matter, Professor. This means that people will still respect you for who you are, not what you did." Alicia whispered. "They may say mean things to you, Professor, but deep down, I'm sure they still know and remember you for who you are or at least who you were."

Resigned, Albus sighed one last time. "Thank you. I know you are right. It's just that it seems a bit farfetched to me now. Maybe when in the future, when I'm starting over, I'll know this for sure."

Albus reached out to give Alicia an assuring grip on her right shoulder and the two moved on through the corridors of the Ministry of Magic, for what may well be Albus' last time for some time or even forever. All in all, Albus reflected, it didn't hurt as much as he had thought it would. He had lost his post, but he hadn't in the hearts of others. He had let Voldemort hurt Minerva, but at least he had kept her to him. He had betrayed the Ministry's trust, however unwilling, but Albus was forgiven. Forgiveness. That was all, Albus realized, all he really needed to want. From the Ministry, from the people, from the war in general.

Then tears finally stung his eyes as Albus remembered one critical thing --- Alicia's forgiveness and those from the people, Muggles and wizards, were not enough now. That wasn't the last thing Albus needed to finally, for the life of him, know.

All he really needed to hear right now...

...Will Minerva forgive me at all for failing her?

...was to hear her voice, and her words telling Albus that he would be forgiven.

Or not.

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