Spam
By Onua
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor
"C'mon, you guys. Just try some," Briar prompted the girls.
They were on the road, traveling, and Briar had dinner duty.
Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam
"No way am I eating anything that looks like that," Tris told him, and stuck her nose up.
"It's really good, just needs a bit of ketchup," Briar said,
dousing his piece with salt, pepper, ketchup, and spices.
Now when I was a child
My family was so poor
They didn't have the finer things in life to eat
So we had a plan
In a big blue can
The government substitute for meat
"Briar, how can you eat this?" Sandry inquired, sniffing delicately at her piece.
"Easy. First, I open my mouth. Next, I put the food in," Briar replied, getting a nasty look from Sandry.
"You know well what I mean, Briar Moss," she snapped, taking
a small bite.
Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam
"Ugh!" Sandry revolted, spitting out the 'processed meat' and drinking half of her water canteen. "That is utterly disgusting."
"Daja, be brave. Try some," Briar urged, and Daja took a
smalle bite.
To get me to eat it at dinner
They said I'd grow up like Bruce Jenner
He was a winner that never knew defeat
And when he got hungry
When he got hungry
He cracked open that special treat
It was
"DISGUSTING!" Daja shouted, and spewed Spam onto Briar.
"Yuck," Briar commented, flicking a piece of half-chewed
Spam back to Daja.
Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam
"Food fight!" Tris exclaimed, and started chucking her Spam
towards Briar. All the girls ganged up on Briar, so he was covered in Spam.
Then he sang:
S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again
S-P-A-M
Don't you know it's my best friend
S-P-A-M
Again and again and again and again
So go and forget your O-S-C-A-R
There's one meat by-product that's best by far
It's
Spam
It's pink and it's oval
Spam
I buy it at the Mobil
Spam
It's made in Chernobyl
Spam
"Briar, we can't see how you can eat this cr—, I mean, junk," Sandry told him, catching her mouth.
"Sandry!" Tris and Daja exclaimed.
"You've learned well, little-nose," Briar commented, and ran for the love of the thieve gods.
A/N: I hope you liked! I'm having a bit of a writing run, so I'm trying to get out a lot of good stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own them! Save Ferris owns the song, and Tamora Pierce owns the characters!