Chapter 8- Chronic Chromedomium Syndrome Sufferer.
I
again apologize to The She Devil~ for this. The title is self-explanatory, so… Also I use a few things that
I've found myself to like over the years, and I feel I should use a disclaimer
before I am sued for the money I wish I had.
Beavis and Butthead are owned by Mike Judge and
MTV. (Not me, thank Heavens!)
Er ain't mine, and neither is anything else. Oh and Uncle Fester doesn't belong to me
either, although my dad sorta looks like him after he shaved.
One final
note: The reference to "Fester Shinetop
or Sheriff Shinetop" is from The Secret of Monkey Island, in a series
that I recommend that you check out @ Escape from Monkey
Island. This is Escape from MI, but it's still a goodie, right fellow MI
fans?
Enough
stalling. Onward!
Dave walked into the door of his and Kerry's home. He shut the door and took off his
jacket. He still wore a hooded sweater,
and didn't feel like taking it off, so he plopped down in front of the idiot
box, and turned it on.
"-In
other news, Eminem's dog is now suing him for allegations of physical abuse
when Eminem, whose real name is Marshall Mathers, allegedly pulled the dog's
choke chain, and.,." Dave flipped the
station. "Rapper Sean 'Puffy' Combs is
still in court over a shootout in a NY nightclub. His girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez has broken up with him and-"
Flip. "Fidel Castro has died.." Flip. "Saddam Hussein has been killed by a flock of wild geese and the world
doesn't care." Dave groaned at the lack
of quality programming. He flipped
channels some more until he found one he liked. "Hey-y-y-y!!" He said,
smiling. "Beavith, you thuck." "Shut up, dilhole." Dave sat back and smiled. Finally. Something more worthwhile than the news! He thought to himself. Kerry
chose this moment to walk in the door. "Hey, Dave. Pause What
the hell are you watching?" She
asked. "It's better than the news,
Kerr-bear." He said. "Well, I'll give you that. But please, take off that sweater! It smells really bad." She said disgustedly. "I can't. I, um. I made a mistake." He
said, his voice decreasing. "Mistake? How could you make a
mistake that requires you to wear a sweater whose stench could-" She was
stopped dead in her tracks when Dave took the sweater off. He was still hot, with his muscular, yet
skinny body, and good looks, but his head was completely bald. There was a small gleam off of it, at which
Kerry held back a giggle. Dave looked
sad and turned away to sit down. Kerry
sat beside him. "Oh, Dave. Cheer up! You're still the same royal pain in the ass that you will always
be. I still love you, even with the,
um…Absence of hair." Dave looked at
her. "Kerry, I knew you'd support me.
…But what about everyone else? Romano
will make a big ass deal out of it, and-" Kerry cut him off. "Dave, just borrow my crutch. He's afraid of it by now." She said, with a slight laugh. Dave grinned, his head shifting a little. (My dad shaved what was left of his hair, so I'm making an
analogy of what his chrome dome does. LoL)
Kerry smiled and moved her hand toward his bare cranium. She paused to see if it was okay and he bent
his head as if to say 'go ahead'. She
gently rubbed along his head, feeling the baby smooth skin there. She smiled. "That feels nice." She said,
simply. Dave looked up. "Doesn't it?" He replied. He moved in
and kissed her. "Well, I Want to go see
my family tonight. I know that Dom's
still in town, and Mom and Dad are staying with my cousin, Jesse because…well,
they want to be closer by me in case, well, you know." He said. "Let's go see Dom first. Is that
okay." Kerry smiled at him. "Sure thing, Dave." She said. He looked at her. "What, no
argument?" He asked. "Nope. My sister used to say that a relationship was a sure thing once you met
his parents." She said, hobbling with
him toward the door. Dave nodded and
smiled to himself.
They
arrived at Dominic's apartment about a half hour later. Dave knocked on the door and patiently
waited. After a few minutes he banged,
knowing that Dom was ignoring him. "Dammit Dom! I know you're in
there, Now Let us in!" He yelled. "Fine! Entrez!" Dom yelled back. Dave opened the door and found his brother
sitting on a worn sofa, facing a large window with a view of the area. Dom looked up and dropped the magazine he
was reading. He gaped at his brother's
hairless head. "Whoa! What the hell did you do to your
hair?" He asked, dumbfounded. "I shaved it before the chemo could finish
the job." Dave said, feeling slightly
ashamed that he did it. "Can I?" Dom asked motioning to his head. Dave nodded and bent down. Dom also felt the silky texture of Dave's
head. Dom smiled. "You know, Sheriff Shinetop, This is better
than the time you bleached your hair for the 'rocker' look, yet you only
succeeded in making yourself look like a bad Justin Timberlake." Dave smiled at this. "Well, what about the time that you bleached
your hair and dyed it pink?" He asked,
teasing his brother. "Hey! The box said that it was RED!!" He shouted, a tad upset. "Yeah. And I suppose that the box for yellow said green on it too." Dave said. "Boys! Droppit!" Kerry said, busting up the fight. "Now I think I'm going to go shopping, and
I'll pick Dave up when I'm done." She
said, walking towards the door. "Man, I
haven't even got my paycheck, and she's already spent it!" Dave said to Dom. "I heard that, Malucci!" She snapped, shutting the door behind her.
The
twins sat down together and talked. To
give an analogy, they are worse than women are when it comes to gossip. (*Not to dis the females..After all, I am
one of them…) Dave kept looking out the window, and thinking. Dom noticed this. In fact, Dom instinctively knew when Dave wasn't mentally okay,
and vice versa. He put a hand on Dave's
shoulder. "Are you alright? I mean, You seem, kind of…out of it." He said, softly. "No. I'm not okay. I'm scared. I feel…" He stopped as he began
to sob. Dom caught his brother and
offered him his shoulder, which Dave took. Dave cried openly, not caring anymore. Dom rocked his brother back and forth, trying to soothe him. "Shhhhh…It's okay. Now what do you feel?" he asked, wanting to know what was wrong and how he could fix it. "I feel alone." Dave whispered, hugging his brother. "Alone? We're here for
you…Me, Kerry, Mom, Dad, Palidette… I'm
sure that your co-workers are with you." Dom said, trying to comfort Dave. "None of them are going to die." Dave said, resembling a child. "They're all going to die. Everyone has a time, and it can come in youth or in old age, but it is
assured that it shall come." Dom said,
pulling Dave to look him into the eye. "Now I have never known you to be a wuss about anything, except for the
poodle incident, and I don't want you to fear death. It will happen eventually. You know that." He finished, hugging Dave. "I guess." Dave said,
astonished that his brother was that spiritual." "So. Uncle Fester. How are things with you and Kerry?" He asked. Dave looked at his brother. "Great. I asked her to marry me,
and she said yes, but don't tell mom and dad yet." He said. Dom hugged his
brother. "Wow. So when are ya getting hitched?" he asked him. Dave looked up thoughtfully. "I don't know. I haven't really
thought about it that much. I suppose
Kerr-bear and I will have to talk it over." He said, forgetting that Dom was in the room.
Dom
nudged Dave. "You there bro?" he asked. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm just thinking
of what our wedding will be like." He
said. "Oh, Dude! We could make your wedding the most awesome
wedding in the history of all weddings!" Dom said. Dave groaned to
himself. Dom could be downright
feminine when it came to these things. "Ummm…That's a lot of weddings…" Dave began. "Oh, Come On! If all goes good, You'll only get married
once! This should be the coolest moment
of your life! The hottest should occur
that night when-" "Dom, We've
already done that!" Dave said. "Oops. Sorry. You know what would be cool for your wedding? If instead of the traditional church weddings, you guys get
married in a garden filled with roses, or maybe somewhere near a beautiful sea,
or best yet, the Greek Islands. They
are so…so incredible." Dom said,
wishing he had a girlfriend to marry to go there. "Dom, are you trying to sponge tickets out of us?" Dave asked. "No. Except for Greece." Dom laughed. "But Seriously, I want you and Kerry to be happy at your
wedding. The wedding isn't the most
spectacular thing in a relationship. In
your case for example, the fact that any woman in her right mind would
even consider dating you." Dom
smiled. Dave looked at his brother and
took the open invitation to rag. "Pffff! Look at yourself! You're living alone, in a dinky apartment, with dirty clothes
strewn about, on a Friday night, with no date or plans for the weekend! And you used to call me a loser!" Dave said. Dom smiled. "Actually, I do have
plans. The band and I are going to play
tomorrow night, and then I'm going to mom and dad's for dinner, which by the
way, mom's calling you and Kerry over." Dom said. "Oh yeah, is that
so? Tell her I'll be there, loser." "Fop." "Buffoon." "Deadwood." "Fake" "Idiot." "Spoothead!" The brothers laughed at their old childhood game and continued to
talk.
Kerry
had decided to go grocery shopping, and had checked her list. Peanut Butter, Mushroom soup, Peas, Carrots,
Tea, the inevitable coffee, and other basic needs of the home were on it.. She checked Dave's three additions; Sugar
Shoxx cereal, Mountain Dew, and licorice jelly beans. She shook her head at Dave's bizarre eating habits, but knew
that's what made Dave, well, Dave. She
traveled through the store picking up the things she needed and came to an
aisle that sold feminine products. She
saw a pregnancy test there and looked at it curiously. No, She couldn't be…Or could she? She'd been late, but not that late. And it had been only once with Dave. But Kerry knew that once was far more than
enough, and picked up the kit and put it into the cart. Well, I have been feeling more
than nauseous in the morning, but that could be coincidental,
right? She thought
heading for a checkout.