Invader ZIM
GIR-Napped Part 1: OBEDIENCE SCHOOL
Written By: Joy Jarose
Legal Note:
The series Invader ZIM, its characters and events were
created by Johnen Vasquez and produced by Nickelodeon
and Viacom. This fiction story could not have been
written without the credits of the original writers of
the series. Thanks!
[The camera closes in on the house, to the window. It is
raining out, and GIR is at the window in his dog suit staring outside sadly. He sighs]
GIR: I hate rain... [He walks slowly away from the window and steps down on the trashcan lever. He climbs
slowly into the can and slides down the tube. He sees Zim, reading a book titled "Dog Obedience". He walks over to Zim, tugging his shirt. Zim looks down at him, annoyed.] Can you make the rain stop now? I wanna go outside.
ZIM: [monotoned] I have no power over the weather, GIR. You'll have to do something else for now.. Isn't that monkey on TV or something... [he trails off, continues to read, and his eyes light up, as GIR begins to run to the TV to check.] That's IT! [He grins at GIR, who stops, slightly confused at Zim's reaction.] GIR, come here..I have a game we can play. [GIR walks over to Zim. He goes to the computer and types in some information until something yellow comes on the screen. The screen gets a close-up view, and Zim is scrolling down a list with his fingers, until he stops at an ad marked "Mrs. Bingle's Basic oBedience School"] Hmmm.. [he glances to GIR.] GIR! Go find the telephone! [GIR salutes]
GIR: Yes, SIR! [he runs off screen, then comes back holding a white cordless phone.]
ZIM: Bring it here, GIR. [GIR hands the phone to him, watching as he dials.] 5...2...3...77..86. [the phone rings.]
GIR: What's that?! [ZIM motions for him to be quiet. The phone clicks, and a woman with a British accent answers.]
WOMAN: Good afternoon, Mrs. Bingle's Basic oBedience School, this is Brenda speaking. [Zim thinks for a moment.]
ZIM: Yes, um, I would like to train my dog the... basics in obedience, and I was wondering if I could start today? [We hear typing on the other end of the line.]
WOMAN: You're in luck, sir, there is an opening at 3:00 this afternoon. Shall I schedule you?
ZIM: Um, yeah..this IS the school on 92nd S..t.., right?
WOMAN: [confused] You mean Street? [Zim realizes]
ZIM: Yes, 92nd STREET. Eheheh, how stupid of me. [GIR blinks. Zim shakes off his confusion.]
WOMAN: Alright, sir, I have you booked for 3:00 sharp. Please be here a few minutes early for instructions. [the woman hangs up. Zim clicks the phone off and sets it down next to the computer. He stands up and turns to GIR.]
ZIM: Okay, GIR. All I have to do is get into my disguise. Now go upstairs and...do something.. [GIR salutes and runs to the tube, disappearing. Upstairs, GIR appears out of the trashcan, looking around. He climbs out, and runs to the door, where his leash hangs. He jumps and pulls it off the knob, and tries to clip it on. He tries again, and it doesn't work. Zim appears in the room, staring at GIR, who looks sad, holding his leash.]
GIR: [sniffling] I can't do it. [He holds the leash toward Zim, tears in his eyes. Zim sighs, and clips it on.]
ZIM: Okay, I have a good idea of where this...92nd Street is. So let's go. [He opens the door, and rain and wind blow into the house. He struggles, slamming the door shut, panting.] I think what we need is one of those... umbrella things. [He walks over to a closet where the Dad decoy is stored, and searches through some junk until he finds one.] Here we are. Okay, I think we're ready now. [He opens the door again, and quickly presses the button on the umbrella, blocking the wind and rain. He smiles triumphantly, and they walk down the lawn, GIR hopping along. He looks left and right, then decides to go left around the koldesack. At the school, inside, we see Zim and GIR step in. Zim snaps the umbrella shut, shakes it off and looks around the building. He sees a woman at the desk.] Come on, GIR. [He drags the dog with him to the desk. The woman is reading a magazine, and doesn't notice him.] Ah-hem! [she looks up, seeing nothing.] HELLO? [She looks down over the desk, seeing Zim and is a little surprised by GIR. She blinks, then regains herself.]
WOMAN: Um, may I help you sir?
ZIM: Yes, um, I have a class here at 3:00 for my...dog. [he motions to GIR, who is looking around the room interestedly.]
WOMAN: [cheerily] Hey, didn't I just talk to you on the phone? [Zim sighs, annoyed.]
ZIM: YES, now can you please direct me to the room I'm supposed to be?! [The woman blinks, then turns to the computer, typing information in.]
WOMAN: Okay, sir, you've been assigned to room 113. [Zim walks away without saying a word, GIR dragging behind. He starts down a hallway, looking around. We see him turning corners, until he reaches room 113. He turns the doorknob and opens the door, walking inside. People with various dogs that look like their owners are standing in a line, staring at him. He looks around, spying a woman in a uniform with a crop at her side.]
WOMAN: You're late! [points her crop to the clock, which is at 2 seconds after 3:00 PM.]
ZIM: But-
WOMAN: SILENCE! [Zim blinks.] Take your place in line, soldier. [Zim reluctantly stands at the end of the line. The woman begins pacing back and forth in front of the line, traditional army style.] Now, you are all here because your...[she stops in front of GIR for a moment, staring at him, then moves on.] dogs...are poor, stupid animals without the proper knowledge we have. I am here to whip both you and your mutts into shape! Now, let's start by letting your dog off the leash. [Zim looks around, unsure of what he is supposed to do. Suddenly, the whip cracks down on the ground in front of him.] What are you waiting for, soldier?! Unhook the little beast! [Zim quickly takes the leash off GIR, who remains in place. The other dogs quickly distract themselves, running around the room to identify eachother. She looks at them, then back at GIR, who is staring forward, immobile.] You two just got a promotion from soldier to private! [Zim grins, looking thoughtfully at GIR.] Both of you, stand aside for the moment. [turns to the others] NOW, I want you to firmly tell your dog to come. [The people try this, failing, the dogs look blankly then continue to wander around the room.] Don't worry, it's a normal behavior in an untrained dog. But there's no reason NOT to punish them! [she cracks her whip, and the dogs rush to their owners.] ..and no reason not to reward when the dog listens. [She turns to Zim.] You try, I'll take... um..
ZIM: GIR..Um, his name is GIR.
WOMAN: [cocks eyebrows] Uh-huh...Well, I'll take GIR to the other side of the room. When I give the signal, do all you can to get him to come back to you. [she takes GIR to the opposite side of the room, and nods. Zim is unsure, but thinks for a moment.]
ZIM: [to self] Just pretend you're commanding a mission... [he looks confident]Okay... GIR! Get over here! [GIR looks around for a moment, then runs over to Zim, looking up.
WOMAN: Now, reward him. [She tosses Zim a small dog biscuit. Zim smells it, then, disgusted, thrusts it away from him, towards GIR. GIR grabs it and scarfs it down hungrily. The camera slowly moves to the clock above the door where Zim is standing. It reads 3:05.] Next, we'll try the stay command..[her voice fades away, the clock changes to 3:50. The camera zooms out to a satisfied Zim and GIR.] A job well done, class! And a special reward for our top students, Zim and GIR! [she hands Zim a blue medal, and attaches another one to GIR's collar. The two look thoughtfully at the shiny objects.] And the final command is a bonus for all of you. [She glances to Zim.] You go first, Zim. The command is called sit up. [Zim walks up in front of the line next to the woman.] First, you tell the dog to sit.
ZIM: [looks to GIR.] Um...sit, GIR. [GIR does so, and sits blankly.]
WOMAN: Next, you have to bribe the dog the first few times. Hold this biscuit directly above GIR's head. [She hands Zim another treat, and he does so, holding it over GIR's head. GIR doesn't notice.] Hmm... Try waving it in front of him and then raising it up over his head. [Zim does this, and GIR watches it, then stands up to get it.]
ZIM: No, GIR! Not stand! SIT UP!
GIR: Oh.. [Zim motions for him to keep quiet.] I mean.. um... Arf!
ZIM: Now, sit up! [GIR looks at him confusedly.]
GIR: [whispering] But...are you sure, master?
ZIM: YES! Now do it! Before you blow the whole thing! [GIR suddenly turns on his jets, sitting, rising in the air. Zim freaks, yanking the leash, pulling GIR down.]
[whisper-yelling] NO!! NO, GIR! GET DOWN NOW! [GIR turns off the jets, and falls back toward the ground, landing on Zim. He rubs his head, and looks around. The class is staring at him.] Eheheheheheheh...heh.. [He turns to GIR, standing up, glaring angrily, then back to the crowd.] I..uh.. rescued him...from..from a lab! [his confidence ceases] They were testing him, and and that's why he has those...things! [the others continue to stare. Zim looks worried, and heads toward the door.] I think I'm gonna go now. [he looks back, then steps out of the door, shutting it. He turns to GIR. Whisper-yelling] WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING BACK THERE?! [GIR looks apologetic.] HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WE'RE ON A MISSION?
GIR: [stuttering] You-you said to sit up.. [tears well in his eyes.]
ZIM: Sorry, GIR, [dragging the sad dog down the halls.] That's not gonna work on me THIS time. [They exit the doors, GIR slowly behind. It is still raining.] Well, at least that session is stored in your memory chip. [GIR looks surprised.]
GIR: Memory chip?...[Zim stops in mid-step and turns around toward GIR.] Was I supposed to have that with me?
ZIM: [angered] DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THE THINGS YOU WERE JUST TAUGHT?! [GIR looks around, thinking.]
GIR: I remember.... getting something...for something... and my breath is garlicy-fresh! [Zim sighs] And-
ZIM: [interrupting] Not another word, GIR. [They open the door, and GIR rushes inside, they are both dripping wet.] Besides... aren't you wondering where that medal came from? [GIR looks down at the object on his collar.]
GIR: [surprised] Hey...where'd that come from? [Zim is disgusted, and walks through the house, to the toilet.]
ZIM: I'm very disappointed in you, GIR. I expect you to work on your skills.. the only way this mission will be successful is if we work together. [He jumps into the toilet, pulling the chain.] If you'll excuse me.. [he swirls down, disappearing from view. The screen turns to GIR, who slips out of his disguise, sadly. Fade out.]
GIR-Napped Part 1: OBEDIENCE SCHOOL
Written By: Joy Jarose
Legal Note:
The series Invader ZIM, its characters and events were
created by Johnen Vasquez and produced by Nickelodeon
and Viacom. This fiction story could not have been
written without the credits of the original writers of
the series. Thanks!
[The camera closes in on the house, to the window. It is
raining out, and GIR is at the window in his dog suit staring outside sadly. He sighs]
GIR: I hate rain... [He walks slowly away from the window and steps down on the trashcan lever. He climbs
slowly into the can and slides down the tube. He sees Zim, reading a book titled "Dog Obedience". He walks over to Zim, tugging his shirt. Zim looks down at him, annoyed.] Can you make the rain stop now? I wanna go outside.
ZIM: [monotoned] I have no power over the weather, GIR. You'll have to do something else for now.. Isn't that monkey on TV or something... [he trails off, continues to read, and his eyes light up, as GIR begins to run to the TV to check.] That's IT! [He grins at GIR, who stops, slightly confused at Zim's reaction.] GIR, come here..I have a game we can play. [GIR walks over to Zim. He goes to the computer and types in some information until something yellow comes on the screen. The screen gets a close-up view, and Zim is scrolling down a list with his fingers, until he stops at an ad marked "Mrs. Bingle's Basic oBedience School"] Hmmm.. [he glances to GIR.] GIR! Go find the telephone! [GIR salutes]
GIR: Yes, SIR! [he runs off screen, then comes back holding a white cordless phone.]
ZIM: Bring it here, GIR. [GIR hands the phone to him, watching as he dials.] 5...2...3...77..86. [the phone rings.]
GIR: What's that?! [ZIM motions for him to be quiet. The phone clicks, and a woman with a British accent answers.]
WOMAN: Good afternoon, Mrs. Bingle's Basic oBedience School, this is Brenda speaking. [Zim thinks for a moment.]
ZIM: Yes, um, I would like to train my dog the... basics in obedience, and I was wondering if I could start today? [We hear typing on the other end of the line.]
WOMAN: You're in luck, sir, there is an opening at 3:00 this afternoon. Shall I schedule you?
ZIM: Um, yeah..this IS the school on 92nd S..t.., right?
WOMAN: [confused] You mean Street? [Zim realizes]
ZIM: Yes, 92nd STREET. Eheheh, how stupid of me. [GIR blinks. Zim shakes off his confusion.]
WOMAN: Alright, sir, I have you booked for 3:00 sharp. Please be here a few minutes early for instructions. [the woman hangs up. Zim clicks the phone off and sets it down next to the computer. He stands up and turns to GIR.]
ZIM: Okay, GIR. All I have to do is get into my disguise. Now go upstairs and...do something.. [GIR salutes and runs to the tube, disappearing. Upstairs, GIR appears out of the trashcan, looking around. He climbs out, and runs to the door, where his leash hangs. He jumps and pulls it off the knob, and tries to clip it on. He tries again, and it doesn't work. Zim appears in the room, staring at GIR, who looks sad, holding his leash.]
GIR: [sniffling] I can't do it. [He holds the leash toward Zim, tears in his eyes. Zim sighs, and clips it on.]
ZIM: Okay, I have a good idea of where this...92nd Street is. So let's go. [He opens the door, and rain and wind blow into the house. He struggles, slamming the door shut, panting.] I think what we need is one of those... umbrella things. [He walks over to a closet where the Dad decoy is stored, and searches through some junk until he finds one.] Here we are. Okay, I think we're ready now. [He opens the door again, and quickly presses the button on the umbrella, blocking the wind and rain. He smiles triumphantly, and they walk down the lawn, GIR hopping along. He looks left and right, then decides to go left around the koldesack. At the school, inside, we see Zim and GIR step in. Zim snaps the umbrella shut, shakes it off and looks around the building. He sees a woman at the desk.] Come on, GIR. [He drags the dog with him to the desk. The woman is reading a magazine, and doesn't notice him.] Ah-hem! [she looks up, seeing nothing.] HELLO? [She looks down over the desk, seeing Zim and is a little surprised by GIR. She blinks, then regains herself.]
WOMAN: Um, may I help you sir?
ZIM: Yes, um, I have a class here at 3:00 for my...dog. [he motions to GIR, who is looking around the room interestedly.]
WOMAN: [cheerily] Hey, didn't I just talk to you on the phone? [Zim sighs, annoyed.]
ZIM: YES, now can you please direct me to the room I'm supposed to be?! [The woman blinks, then turns to the computer, typing information in.]
WOMAN: Okay, sir, you've been assigned to room 113. [Zim walks away without saying a word, GIR dragging behind. He starts down a hallway, looking around. We see him turning corners, until he reaches room 113. He turns the doorknob and opens the door, walking inside. People with various dogs that look like their owners are standing in a line, staring at him. He looks around, spying a woman in a uniform with a crop at her side.]
WOMAN: You're late! [points her crop to the clock, which is at 2 seconds after 3:00 PM.]
ZIM: But-
WOMAN: SILENCE! [Zim blinks.] Take your place in line, soldier. [Zim reluctantly stands at the end of the line. The woman begins pacing back and forth in front of the line, traditional army style.] Now, you are all here because your...[she stops in front of GIR for a moment, staring at him, then moves on.] dogs...are poor, stupid animals without the proper knowledge we have. I am here to whip both you and your mutts into shape! Now, let's start by letting your dog off the leash. [Zim looks around, unsure of what he is supposed to do. Suddenly, the whip cracks down on the ground in front of him.] What are you waiting for, soldier?! Unhook the little beast! [Zim quickly takes the leash off GIR, who remains in place. The other dogs quickly distract themselves, running around the room to identify eachother. She looks at them, then back at GIR, who is staring forward, immobile.] You two just got a promotion from soldier to private! [Zim grins, looking thoughtfully at GIR.] Both of you, stand aside for the moment. [turns to the others] NOW, I want you to firmly tell your dog to come. [The people try this, failing, the dogs look blankly then continue to wander around the room.] Don't worry, it's a normal behavior in an untrained dog. But there's no reason NOT to punish them! [she cracks her whip, and the dogs rush to their owners.] ..and no reason not to reward when the dog listens. [She turns to Zim.] You try, I'll take... um..
ZIM: GIR..Um, his name is GIR.
WOMAN: [cocks eyebrows] Uh-huh...Well, I'll take GIR to the other side of the room. When I give the signal, do all you can to get him to come back to you. [she takes GIR to the opposite side of the room, and nods. Zim is unsure, but thinks for a moment.]
ZIM: [to self] Just pretend you're commanding a mission... [he looks confident]Okay... GIR! Get over here! [GIR looks around for a moment, then runs over to Zim, looking up.
WOMAN: Now, reward him. [She tosses Zim a small dog biscuit. Zim smells it, then, disgusted, thrusts it away from him, towards GIR. GIR grabs it and scarfs it down hungrily. The camera slowly moves to the clock above the door where Zim is standing. It reads 3:05.] Next, we'll try the stay command..[her voice fades away, the clock changes to 3:50. The camera zooms out to a satisfied Zim and GIR.] A job well done, class! And a special reward for our top students, Zim and GIR! [she hands Zim a blue medal, and attaches another one to GIR's collar. The two look thoughtfully at the shiny objects.] And the final command is a bonus for all of you. [She glances to Zim.] You go first, Zim. The command is called sit up. [Zim walks up in front of the line next to the woman.] First, you tell the dog to sit.
ZIM: [looks to GIR.] Um...sit, GIR. [GIR does so, and sits blankly.]
WOMAN: Next, you have to bribe the dog the first few times. Hold this biscuit directly above GIR's head. [She hands Zim another treat, and he does so, holding it over GIR's head. GIR doesn't notice.] Hmm... Try waving it in front of him and then raising it up over his head. [Zim does this, and GIR watches it, then stands up to get it.]
ZIM: No, GIR! Not stand! SIT UP!
GIR: Oh.. [Zim motions for him to keep quiet.] I mean.. um... Arf!
ZIM: Now, sit up! [GIR looks at him confusedly.]
GIR: [whispering] But...are you sure, master?
ZIM: YES! Now do it! Before you blow the whole thing! [GIR suddenly turns on his jets, sitting, rising in the air. Zim freaks, yanking the leash, pulling GIR down.]
[whisper-yelling] NO!! NO, GIR! GET DOWN NOW! [GIR turns off the jets, and falls back toward the ground, landing on Zim. He rubs his head, and looks around. The class is staring at him.] Eheheheheheheh...heh.. [He turns to GIR, standing up, glaring angrily, then back to the crowd.] I..uh.. rescued him...from..from a lab! [his confidence ceases] They were testing him, and and that's why he has those...things! [the others continue to stare. Zim looks worried, and heads toward the door.] I think I'm gonna go now. [he looks back, then steps out of the door, shutting it. He turns to GIR. Whisper-yelling] WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING BACK THERE?! [GIR looks apologetic.] HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WE'RE ON A MISSION?
GIR: [stuttering] You-you said to sit up.. [tears well in his eyes.]
ZIM: Sorry, GIR, [dragging the sad dog down the halls.] That's not gonna work on me THIS time. [They exit the doors, GIR slowly behind. It is still raining.] Well, at least that session is stored in your memory chip. [GIR looks surprised.]
GIR: Memory chip?...[Zim stops in mid-step and turns around toward GIR.] Was I supposed to have that with me?
ZIM: [angered] DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF THE THINGS YOU WERE JUST TAUGHT?! [GIR looks around, thinking.]
GIR: I remember.... getting something...for something... and my breath is garlicy-fresh! [Zim sighs] And-
ZIM: [interrupting] Not another word, GIR. [They open the door, and GIR rushes inside, they are both dripping wet.] Besides... aren't you wondering where that medal came from? [GIR looks down at the object on his collar.]
GIR: [surprised] Hey...where'd that come from? [Zim is disgusted, and walks through the house, to the toilet.]
ZIM: I'm very disappointed in you, GIR. I expect you to work on your skills.. the only way this mission will be successful is if we work together. [He jumps into the toilet, pulling the chain.] If you'll excuse me.. [he swirls down, disappearing from view. The screen turns to GIR, who slips out of his disguise, sadly. Fade out.]