Normal
By
Warnings: None really, a lil' Relena bashing and mild swearing, oh, and sugar high Trowas along with some freaky fast food
Disclaimer: I own my clothes, my room, and the stuff in my room. Gundam Wing is not in my room, therefore, I do not own it. So don't sue me, I don't have any money. Oh yea, I don't own the X Files, Roswell, Invader Zim (It's a cartoon on Nickelodeon that my brother watches), Allen Strange, or Star Trek either.
Author's notes: HowD! This is my first Gundam Boys fic (the other fan fics I've done are with original characters I've made up inserted in) and I know it's probably not that good, but please read it. Kay? ^_^
Living in a house and trying to be "normal" seemed to be no easy task for the g-boys who were so used to constant rushing, excitment, and danger. Yes, it would be a change indeed. Heero sat at a small desk, typing away on his laptop, frantically searching the screen for any notice of a misson. Duo was sitting on a table in the middle of the room playing Duke Nukem Land of the Babes, adding his own sound affects and comments where he felt some should be. Trowa was silently reading a book on the couch. Meanwhile, Quatre was looking at a picture book about cute and cuddly things, awwing and ooing when he found a particularly precious one. Then, Wufei was loking at a Reader's Digest article about a girl who fell out of a plane.
"Weak onna! Women should not be in planes in the first place!" Quatre looked up.
"Oh! That's terrible, is she alright?" Wufei turned the page.
"Hmph! She didn't deserve to live!" Trowa glanced up from his book.
"Wufei, if she was so weak, how come she survived?" Wufei frowned.
"Lucky fall." Trowa smiled slightly and returned to his book.
"Awwwwwww!" Quatre cooed.
"What?" Wufei asked as Quatre then held up a picture of a fluffy baby camel. Wufei scowled.
"You weakling! Fluffy animals are for the weak." Quatre frowned and flipped through some pages of his book, then lifted it back up for Wufei to see. Wufei's lower lip trembled as he tried to keep from going goo-goo. He then broke out in tears and hugged the book.
"Forgive me Nataku! I can not resist the fluffiness of the baby panda!" Quatre smiled and pulled the book back.
"Awww man, lost again." Duo turned his game off, stood up, and looked around at his fellow pilots.
"I'm hungry." Heero glanced over at Duo.
"What's new?" Duo frowned
"I'm not joking!" Heero looked back to his laptop and began typing away.
"I believe you." Duo frowned, then lept up and ran into the kitchen. After a series of pots banging and cabinets slamming, Duo returned with an armful of food and snacks which he plopped on the floor on top of himself and began chowing down. Wufei scowled over at Duo.
"You are disgusting Maxwell!" Duo looked up, his mouth stuffed with food.
"I'm ungwy!" Wufei snorted and turned back to his magazine. Quatre closed his book, neatly placed it on the table, then looked over at Duo.
"Duo, is there any food left for the rest of us?" Duo shoved the last bit of food into his mouth, then looked up at Quatre.
"Umm, I think there was sugar cube in the back of the cabinet." Quatre frowned.
"Duo, that was all the food we had!"Duo paused
"Well, it was good!" -_-,
Quatre sweatdropped and sighed. Just then, Heero found something on the screen.
"A misson." He smiled, but then frowned as his eyes gazed over his orders.
"Have a good time. What kind of misson is that?" Heero frowned, closed his laptop, and turned to face his fellow pilots. 'Well, it can't be that bad.' Wufei was chasing Duo, swinging his katana around and shouting, Quatre was begging them to stop and Trowa was peacefully reading his book as if everything was normal. Well, I guess it was just about as normal as the g-boys get, so it was normal. Heero frowned. 'Let's see, what do normal people do?' He pondered the question for a moment, then gave up. All he could think about were destroying OZ bases, reloading weapons, upgrading gundams, and so on. He then made his way over to the couch and leaned on the back of it as he watched Duo run by, braid flying behind him, Wufei scampering after Duo, waving his katana in the air and shouting, and then to end the parade came Quatre, begging for peace. Heero saw that Quatre's efforts were getting them no where. So, he reached into his pants, withdrew his gun (A/N as in weapon, though I know it doesn't sound right) and fired a few warning shots into the air.
"Hit the dirt!" Duo screamed and threw himself onto the ground with a loud thud.
"Who dares to disrupt me?" Wufei stroke a martial arts fighting pose.
"Please Heero, no shooting in the house!" Heero frowned and returned his gun to it's sanctuary (A/N again, not what you hentais are thinking) as everyone calmed down. Well, except Trowa, he was already calm.
"Alright, what are we going to do?" Heero asked and looked around at the other pilots.
"How about we visit a petting zoo?" Everyone glared at Quatre, except Trowa who's face was covered by his book. Quatre slowly slunk down into his chair.
"Or not."
"I believe we should seek out all women and weaklings and put them in their places."
No one said anything. (crickets chirping) Wufei frowned and crossed his arms.
"You weaklings just don't appreciate my ideas." Duo looked up.
"That's right Wu-man!" Wufei lept up, ready to attack Duo but came face to face with
Heero's gun (A/N do I have to say it again?) and quickly settled back down. Heero frowned and turned to Duo.
"Alright Duo, I'll be stupid and ask if you have any ideas." Duo smiled and cleared his throat.
"Right, I think that we should go to a strip bar or somethin', get totally drunk, and see who we end up with in the morning!" The room was once again filled with silence.
"Trowa, what do you think we should do?" Trowa reached into his pocket and pulled out five tickets without moving his eye(s) from the book.
"Five tickets to an airshow, starts at three, ends at five, then we'll go out for dinner
around six, I found a nice little place that has foods from all over the world so there should be no problem." Everyone was speechless. Trowa looked at his friends from behind the book.
"Is there a problem?" Everyone shook their heads as Heero scooped up the tickets.
"Alright, well, let's go." Everyone nodded and got up.
The airshow seemed to suit eveyone's tastes just fine, there were airforce jets with
heavy artillery for Heero, there were girls doing stunts for Duo, dogs doing stunts for Quatre, and Chinese planes for Wufei. So, when they all came to the restaraunt, it seemed that it had been a good day afterall. They entered the restaraunt and were seated to a table in the corner. Just then, things took a turn for the worst as their waitress appeared.
"Welcome to, HEEEEERRRRROOOOOO!" Her piercing scream was enough to
scare anyone, even Heero, especially Heero. He didn't know if he dared to look up and make eyecontact with it or not. Duo quickly lept in front of his friend.
"Umm, uh, no Relena, you must be seeing things. Heero's in, uh, Bermuda!" Relena frowned and pulled out a pair of scissors.
"Duo Maxwell, if you don't move away from my Heero I'll cut your braid off." Duo took no time in leaping out of the way, leaving Heero to fend for himself. Relena then got up on the table and leaned in closely to Heero.
"You sly dog Heero, you knew I was here and so you came to rescue me." She batted her eyelashes as Heero pushed himself as far back in his chair as he could go.
"The only reason I'm here is to eat my dinner, then leave. Now back away or I will be forced to threaten you." Relena smiled and moved in closer.
"Oh please do Heero." She moved in even closer yet, their noses practically touching.
"Omae o korosu." Relena squeeled with delight.
"Oh Heero! You make me all fluffy inside when you say that!" Heero frowned in
dissapointment and disgust as Duo leaned over to Heero's ear.
"Maybe she doesn't understand Japanese." Heero sighed, but tried to avoid looking at the approaching enemy.
"Relena, I will kill you if you don't back off." Relena just gave a dreamy sigh.
"Oh Heero." She then began to move in for her attack, her lips puckered. Heero
nervously squirmed at the horrifying sight as the other pilots watched.
"Whoop, Whoop! Back away from the Heero, I repeat, back away from the Heero, you have till the count of three, three!" At Duo's count, the four pilots quickly grabbed the ends of the tablecloth and pulled, sending the silverware, dishes, tablecloth, and Relena into a pile on the floor. The boys then lept up, ran out of the restaraunt like bats outta hell, and lept into their car. The car's engine reved up and could be heard screeching down the street as Relena picked herself up off of the floor. She then lept into Heero's seat, hugged it tightly, and sighed.
"Oh Heero." She then began making out with the chair as customers stared, then
nervously began leaving the restaraunt. Meanwhile, in the car,
"I'm sorry guys, I've ruined dinner." Trowa softly said as he quietly looked down at his feet. Quatre then placed a reassuring hand on Trowa's shoulder.
"No you didn't Trowa, everything will be fine." Wufei frowned as he stared out the window.
"Stupid onna, how dare she disrupt our dinner? Why it's, it's" Duo quickly put a pair of earplugs in his ears.
"Uh oh, here we go." Wufei fumed and banged his fists on the dashboard.
"INJUSTICE!!!!!"
and explosions to fill the air as lamp posts and traffic lights fell down, crashing on the street
causing even more mayhem. Heero calmly rested his hands on the steering wheel, enjoying the
show. Quatre had lept into Trowa's lap and was curled up in a cute little ball. (A/N awww) Trowa, meanwhile, had instinctivly wrapped his arms around Quatre and was silently staring into the back of Heero's seat. Duo blinked and removed his earplugs as he watched the confusion and
mayhem.
"Who knew Wu-man would be the cause of D-Day?" Wufei was now ranting about the
injustice of weaklings driving cars and yadda, yadda, yadda, usual Wufei talk. Heero frowned as
he looked out the windshield, seeing that they probably wouldn't be going anywhere soon.
"Hn." Heero turned off the car, took out the keys, then got out and began walking around
the debris and towards A Small Food Shack. No, that was really the name of the place, A Small
Food Shack. Under that sign was another reading, "Highly overpriced greasy crap that doesn't
even deserve to be called food. All that you can eat in a shack in worse condition than a pig sty!"
The other pilots climbed out of the car and began following after their leader. Quatre scowled as
he looked up at the sign.
"Well, at least they're honest." Trowa nodded.
"Yes, well I'm sure we'll be hearing about it from Wufei." Duo then ran up next to them.
"Don't worry guys, I got some extra earplugs!" Duo smiled and winked, then ran after
Heero into the shack.
"Maybe that's why he's always so happy." Trowa frowned.
"I don't know. I've always suspected that Duo's hiding something from us. He's probably
some extra happy alien life form." Quatre blinked at the taller pilot.
"Boy Trowa, I'm hungry, how about you?" Trowa nodded his head.
"I hope I don't miss the X-Files, and Roswell, and Invader Zim, and Allen Strange, and Star Trek." Quatre frowned.
"Maybe you should find some new shows to watch."
"No Quatre! That's just what they want you to do, so you'll miss all of the important
stuff!" Quatre raised an eyebrow.
"Did you steal Duo's Pixie Sticks?"
"They're mine, mine! The pixies even gave them to me, with their own little hands!" Quatre nodded and grabbed Trowa's arm.
"Okay Trowa, how about we sit down?" Quatre then guided a sugar high Trowa over to
a beat up looking booth in the corner, an old dirt stained fan ever so slowly turning on the ceiling,
sputtering once and a while, sounding like it would keel over any second. Wufei, Duo, and Heero
came walking over to the table, Wufei and Heero each carrying a tray of food and Duo holding a
clump of old pre-used looking napkins, he hadn't even dared to touch the straws. Heero plopped
the cra, er, um, food down on the table as Wufei put his down as well, then sat down, grumbling.
"For that price this better be the best damn food I've ever tasted." Heero frowned.
"Don't get your hopes up Wufei." Duo nodded as he cautiosly poked at his cheeseburger.
"Yea, I think my burger looked at me." Heero frowned and looked over at Duo.
"Duo, cheeseburgers can't look at you, they don't have eyes." Duo looked up.
"Oh yea? Then what do you call that?!" Duo pointed at his burger as Wufei snarled and
snatched it from him.
"That's ridiculous you bakaaaaaggghhhh!" Wufei shreiked and flung the burger across the
room where it made a lovely sploosh noise when it hit the wall, it's eye glaring at the pilots.
Wufei lept up and stormed over to the counter as Heero tried his death-glare on the eye which
didn't seem to be budging. Wufei slammed his fists on the counter.
"What are you trying to do, kill us?!" The man, no woman, no man, um, no, woman, no,
er, oh nevermind! The thing behind the counter stared at Wufei and chewed it's cud.
"Is there a problem sir?" Wufei was fuming, on the verdge of snapping.
"Yes there is a problem! There's an eyeball in my friend's burger and it was staring at
me!" The thing blinked at Wufei.
"I'm sorry sir, no refunds." Wufei pounded his fist on the counter.
"How dare you say that to me?! Why, it's, it's," All the other pilots quickly shoved
earplugs into their ears.
roads began swerving and screeching as mayhem once again took over the streets. The thing
however, remained unaffected as it just blinked and continued chewing.
"I'm sorry sir, no refunds." Wufei ground his teeth together, rumaged through his pocket,
pulled out a small wad of crumbled bills, and slammed them onto the counter.
"One cheeseburger, NO eyes or anything else that is not supposed to be in a
cheeseburger." The thing replaced Wufei's cash with cheeseburger. The short tempered pilot grabbed it, stomped back over to the table, and handed Duo the new cheeseburger. Heero had shot the eye to smithereens so there was now a lovely goop splattered all over the wall. However, it didn't stand out very much because the place was already really dirty. Duo looked at the new burger, then at Wufei who was eating his hamburger.
"Wufei?" Wufei glared over at Duo.
"If there is a frickin' eyeball in that frickin' piece of crap I swear that I will frickin'"
"No Wufei, it's fine, but, but you did that for me?" Wufei blinked.
"It was injustice Maxwell, I must right all injustice." Duo's eyes became all big and kawaii.
"But you did it for me!" Duo then glomped Wufei and grinned. "You care Wu-man, you
really care!" Wufei shoved Duo off of him in disgust.
"Get off of me Maxwell! Just eat the stupid burger so we can leave." Duo sniffed and
smiled, then began eating the cheeseburger. So, everything seemed to have calmed down, except
that Heero had made the mistake of buying Trowa a Surge, which the Heavyarms pilot was now
inhaling like he hadn't drinken in weeks. Suddenly, the lights began flickering, then the shack was
filled with darkness.
"Aagghh! Maxwell, let go of me!"
"Sorry Wu-man. Hey! who's squeezing me?"
"I certainly am not!"
"Quatre?"
"It's not me, but where's Trowa?"
"Heero, are you hugging me?"
"Hn. I'm not hugging, just holding."
"Why? Is the perfect soldier afraid of the dark?"
"Er, no, I'm just protecting you."
"The great Shinigami needs no protection, unless you'll call it a hug."
"It's not a hug!"
"Fine, I'm moving away, you'll be all alooone."
"No! I mean, fine, it's a, a"
"Yeeeessss?"
"A, hug."
"There now Hee-chan, that wasn't too hard, now was it?^-^"
"Hn." The lights then flickered back on revealing four gundam pilots. Heero was,
hugging Duo who was grinning at one of the perfect soldier's weakness' (another was Relena of
course) Wufei was sitting, arms crossed, frowning at the injustice of the electricity and Quatre
was searching for Trowa, who was no where to be seen.
"Umm, guys? Trowa's missing." Quatre nervously looked around as Wufei glanced over
at the panicking Arabian.
"What's wrong with that? He probably went to the bathroom." Quatre shook his head.
"I don't think so. He ate some of Duo's Pixie Sticks." Quatre then sniffed Trowa's cup.
"And Surge! Who got Trowa Surge?" Heero looked up, still slightly embarassed about
the, hug.
"What was wrong with it?" Quatre tugged on his hair.
"Oh, don't you see? Now Trowa's loaded up on Surge and Pixie Sticks, and he's
missing!" Everyone paused, then quickly lept up, searching for pilot 03. Suddenly, the lights
flashed off again, then a spotlight appeared on a table, a lone figure standing in it. The pilots
looked up in interest as music began playing in the background. The figure then looked up,
revealing himself as Trowa. He then began singing Ricky Martin's "Loaded" while strutting
around the table, dancing and shedding his clothes in the process.
"Trowa! Stop that and get down here right now!" Trowa turned, stared seductivley at
Quatre, and began dancing in his direction.
"Er, Trowa, calm down now." Wufei and Heero then lept up, grabbed Trowa by the
arms, and dragged him off the table and out the doors, Quatre and Duo following. Everyone got
into the car and tightly strapped Trowa in and began driving home. After about 10 minutes of
Trowa yacking a mile a minute and singing various songs, his head flopped over on Quatre's
shoulder as he fell asleep. Everyone gave a deep sigh of relief.
"Boy, I'm glad we don't have to put up with that everyday." Duo then perked up.
"Hey guys! How 'bout we go to a bar now?" The three other pilots glared at Duo.
"NO!" Duo pouted, then an evil smirk appeared on his face.
"Then I won't stop doing this." Duo cleared his throat, then in the most annoying voice
imaginable began shreiking.
"Heeeeeerrooo, oh Heeerrrooo, come and killll meeee Heeeerrrooo!" Heero gritted his
teeth and winced as he gripped the steering wheel. Quatre however, tossed Heero and Wufei
their earplugs, then stuck his in. Duo frowned.
"Hey! That's not fair!" The braided pilot sighed, then shrugged.
"Oh well," He then conked out on Quatre's other shoulder and fell asleep. The three
remaining pilots sighed and took out their earplugs. Quatre then paused after thinking over his
remark about not having to put up with this everyday.
"Oh shit, we will." There was a breif moment of silence.
And thus the G-boys learned that living a normal life is not always normal.
griff: "So, how'd ya like it?"
Heero: "Hn."
Wufei: "Injustice."
Duo: "I'm scared of cheeseburgers now."
Trowa: "I don't act like that when I'm sugar high, right guys?"
(those crickets are back )
Trowa: "Oh" //.O
Quatre: "I didn't think it was that bad."^-^
griff: "Thanks Q! ^-^ At least somebody's nice, 'cuz ya know, I didn't have to put you guys in it."
Heero: "I wish you hadn't."
griff: "Ouchies Heero, sheesh, fine then, see if I care."
(the boys exit as I glance around the darkness, then burst into tears)
griff: "Hey loyal fan fic readers, was it really that horrible? Please review, I'm begging you!"
( gets down on knees and make puppy eyes)
griff: "It's not that much to ask, just one review, pretty please?"