Tale of the Snow Queen, Part Two

            By Inarae

            ginabrae@aol.com

Disclaimer:  Final Fantasy seven and all associated characters, worlds, and ideas belong to Square Soft and probably a lot of other people.  I don't intend any infringement of their rights, I'm just chatting about my views of some characters to other fans.  Absolutely no money being made by anyone in any shape or form.  That's allowed, right? 

Chronologically this takes place after a story I'm still writing called "To Define Evil,"  but I think it might actually end up as a prequel that you're supposed to read first, since it does character development I haven't been able to put into the actual story.

Rating:  Probably a PG

I got C&C!!!!!  I'm soooo happy!!!

So Inarae no longer:

            " A reader, a reader!!"  With a shout of joy chibi Inarae leaps up from the cold lonely corner she had been quietly flopping in and grabs onto your pants leg.  "I thought no one was ever going to read anything I wrote!  Would you please pretty please write C&C, just so I know at least one person looked briefly at this?  Even if you just say "I read it"  that would make me very happy."

But she would still love to get more!  (I C&C other authors quite a bit, honest . . . .I haven't been  a member of ffnet very long, but I do on fanfic mailing lists, etc, and plan to continue doing so on ff.net.)

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            "Cloud and Tifa are coming out to visit,"  he told me once, with an odd expression on his face as if he wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

            "If you don't want them here, I will have my daughters kill them,"  I offered, squelching the regret.  It would be a pity if he no longer told me stories about their lives.  But I enjoyed having him here to tell stories more. 

            He shook his head, the long silver ponytail in the back undulating like an ice snake.  I wanted to reach out and pet it, but this was more important.

            "Why not?"  I protested.  They are just humans, their deaths would be meaningless, my eyes snapped.  And they might convince you to return to the human world.  I wouldn't allow that, I decided.

            "Keep your ladies away from them, Snow Queen."  I couldn't prevent myself from preening a little at the title he gave me.  "If you want them to live."  His voice was quiet and cold, his face as distant as his voice, as if he didn't really care about what I did, nor did he care if I got killed doing it.  I asked him about that expression once.  He said it was his general face. 

            "We kill humans all the time.  Are you doubting our strength, or are you getting soft?"

            "Both, I imagine," he sighed.  "Don't bother Cloud."

            "But I may bother the female?"  In my irritation I had forgotten that I liked her in the stories.

            "No.  If you do, Cloud will attack you.  And I will not allow anyone to kill  him."

            I froze in shock. He was saying he would hurt me?

            "What are these humans to you?  Why would  you give up the love of those you live among for a pair of humans?"  I demanded.

            "Cloud is no more human than I, or you.  Or perhaps he is.  Forgiveness one of those virtues humans claim only they can have, isn't it?  Humans hurt him like they hurt us, but he has forgiven them.  Or perhaps it is just that I hurt him too, so he will not trust us monsters either.  He judges each person separate from their species."  His voice trailed off oddly.    What a pensive mood he was in tonight.  Did he wish he was as open hearted?  Or had he been judged and found wanting?  Something in his face made me suspect the second.  Then it went away.  "Or perhaps Cloud is just an idiot."  He laughed as if that decided it, but the laughter was some inside joke only between him and Cloud, and it made me jealous.

But I felt a swelling of joy also, for he had called himself a monster, one of us.  Perhaps he had done it deliberately, to sooth me in apology for what he had said earlier.  I never knew with him.  He was skilled with words.  Sometimes too skilled, and for the first time I wondered if I was his pet as Sydney was mine, if he kept me and took care of me simply because he was lonely, as I had done centuries ago with the ice dragon.  So I was angry and upset when Cloud and Tifa arrived two days later.

They stomped in, bundled in awkward layers of human clothes, and I laughed at them with my hands on my hips as they slipped on the ice coating the path to the door.   Poor creatures who didn't understand my world.

The male reached for his weapon when he saw me.  And a huge, awkward looking thing it was.  It made me laugh again, showing fangs.

"I see you've met Maria,"  His low, deadly voice came from the doorway behind me.  "I recommend not harming her.  I would have to avenge her."

The male released his weapon, letting it slide back into the sheath. 

"I thought she was going to attack us."  Even his voice was awkward.  Actually, I almost pitied him, he was working so hard trying to get off to a good start.

"Such a dangerous assumption,"  I commented.  "Do you kill many random strangers that way?"

The woman glanced over at me and blushed.  Hmm, I'd noticed that human females didn't generally approve of the way I dressed.  But it was too hot otherwise. 

"So let's see, is the male Tifa or is it the female?"  I asked Him.  I knew the answer of course, but it threw the pair off a little more, and I thought they deserved it for bothering me so.  Apparently I wasn't as good of an actor as I thought though.  The female laughed slightly with wry humor as she stepped forward, only flinching a little as I smiled my fangs at her again.

"I'm Tifa, as you already know, I think.  Let's try this again.  I'm glad to meet you, and I'm sorry for all the confusion."

"Confusion?  Is that what humans," and I drawled the word out, filling it with scorn, "call it?  Ah, well, you are humans after all, what more could I expect from a bunch of arrogant assholes like your species."

"Be nice to my companion,"  My silver haired friend warned, as the male opened his mouth to protest.

"You're as unusual as always, Sephiroth."   Cloud murmured uncommittedly.  Sephiroth.  He had a name.  I know he's told me it before, but it's a meaningless long jumble of sound.  I just call him Him.  There's no other males around to get him confused with, after all.  Except the minotaurs and every one I've met is a stupid boor, so I ignore them.

"Should I ask why you came, or are you just checking to see  if I'm about to attempt massacre humanity as a whole again?"  He asked, still in the open doorway behind me.  Snow was probably getting inside, but he wanted the dramatic effect of being silhouetted against the flames from the small fireplace apparently.

I saw that the humans were bothered by it.  I decided to bother them more.

"You tried to kill off all the humans?"  I asked Him,  looking at him with something between interest and laughter and awe.  "What a good idea.  Did you even get close?"

"Sephiroth!"  Cloud protested.  Tifa wasn't saying much.  I think she was scared of Him.

"I promised not to hurt humans, and I've kept it."  He was having fun, I could tell, even though he had his distant general face on.

I pouted as if I wished he hadn't made such a stupid promise, more to irritate the two humans here than out of any real desire to see them wiped out as a species.  I was having fun too.

"Why don't you come in?"  He asked.  "You must be cold."  There was something suspicious about the last word, and when I turned and saw him standing there with ice and snow melting unheeded against his chest, I knew what it was.  Those poor humans who have to wrap themselves so uncomfortably just to survive in our home.  I wanted to laugh, he was so good at this.

"Did you have her here just to scare me?"  Cloud asked as he entered, seating himself on the bench against the far wall.  I gave him full points for his tone.  Such a perfect mix of dry exasperation, irritation, anger, and just a touch of worry.

"No.  Actually, I tried to get her to stay away today.  She didn't want to."

"You're corrupting her with your lies!"  Tifa protested.  "Listen to the way she's taking!"  She turned to me.  "Trust me, Mary is it?  He'll hurt you.  You shouldn't be here."  I opened my mouth to retort, but then I got a good look at her and stopped in surprise.  She was truly worried about me?

"Tifa. . ."  Cloud sighed.  "I'm glad you've got company, Sephiroth, but do you really think this is a good idea?  She is getting influence by you a lot, it would seem."

"Why do you keep blaming him for my opinions?  Why do you keep talking to him instead of asking me?  You want to know why I hate humans?  It has nothing to do with Him.  Look at the way you've treated me ever since you arrived, first attacking me and then talking as if I wasn't even here.  Look at my body and what humans have been doing to my people for centuries"

"I'm sorry,"  Cloud stumbled over the words, embarrassed.  "I didn't mean. . ."

"Centuries?"  Tifa murmured in surprise..

"Talking with her about her past is quite interesting.  Apparently the mako plants have been used for human experimentation since they were first developed. Cloud and I are just the most recent products."

"You're like Him too?"  I perked up with interest and pattered over to Cloud's side, looking him over carefully.  When I noticed how much my proximity bothered him, I reached out and grabbed his chin, turning his face to look at it closely from each angle as his cheeks began to burn bright red.  I shook my head and backed off, much to Tifa's relief.  She was looking furious for some reason.  "You don't look like him.  He looks mysterious and powerful.  You just look like a normal human."  I glared at Sephiroth like he had lied.

"If they made you centuries ago, haven't you forgiven mankind yet?"  Cloud asked, trying to change the subject I think.   "Those who hurt you are long dead now."

"But they are still hurting my people!  I still feel the pain sometimes, despite the intervening years.  And they hate me when I get close to them.  Even you were bothered just now when I touched you, and you're one of us.  Why shouldn't I hate them?"

Cloud blushed even redder if possible.  "It wasn't that you aren't human bothering me . . ." he mumbled.

"Then what?"  I snapped.  God he was an ass.

He looked away.  "Your um. . . in my face. . ."  He made some indecipherable round motions with his hands.

"You're just digging yourself in deeper, Strife."  Sephiroth commented.  "Tifa's going to hit you soon."

"I will not!"  Tifa retorted.  "Cloud's cute that way.  Most men would have just enjoyed it."  Then she blushed as if she had said too much.  Cloud closed his eyes in embarrassment as Sephiroth laughed at him.

I blinked in confusion.  I was missing something apparently.

Cloud opened his eyes and continued gamely with what he had been saying.  "Most humans didn't know what was going on in the plants, but were hurt by them as well.  You shouldn't blame them for what they had no part in." The teakettle began to whistle, and Sephiroth got up and began pouring tea, which Tifa accepted gratefully.  She was shivering for some reason.  It was quite warm in the room, warm enough to be uncomfortable for me even though I kept casting low level ice spells on myself.  Of course, that was me, and she was just a human.  Humans were fragile that way, I guessed. Cloud accepted some tea too, and continued.

"In any case, the mako plants have been shut down and dismantled.  No one will be hurt by them again."

I froze.  I had lived under their shadow for so long it seemed impossible that they could truly be gone, that there would be no new species showing up, that there would be no more women with icy blood arriving hurt and confused for me to help.  

"We'll see how long that lasts."  Sephiroth commented sarcastically.  "Humans will always want more power than they can have.  They'll start building them again, as soon as memories of the last decade begin to fade."

"I won't let them."  Cloud said quietly.

"You're going to watch over them for eternity?"  My silver haired warrior and friend asked.  "What a boring, depressing life.  You like hurting yourself, don't you?"

"It's something to do.  What are you planning on doing?"

My friend shrugged, making the leather and steel of his black coat creak.  He called it a coat anyhow.  I've seen what humans call different pieces of clothing.  Coats are short, ending at the waist.  His is long and billows at the bottom; therefore it's a dress, like human females wear.  They wear it a little different though.  They usually don't wear pants underneath, and the front isn't open so their chests show.  Maybe they're embarrassed because he looks so much better than them like that.  Or maybe they're just too cold.

Tifa had been shifting uncomfortably with the talk of eternity.  That's right, she was human, and humans had finite lifespans.  I suddenly pitied her, knowing that she would die long before the man she loved.  Perhaps the other two noticed it too, and were kind enough to change the subject.

"Why are you here Cloud?"  Sephiroth asked after a second, taking a sip of his tea as he leaned back against the counter in the corner we called a kitchen.  "Checking up on the parolee?"

The short blond shrugged nonchalantly. 

Sephiroth slammed his cup against the counter hard enough that the hot liquid splashed over the side.  "You thought I might be lonely?"

"If you don't want to hear it, don't poke about in my mind."  Cloud snapped back.  "Why'd you come way up here anyhow?  Basking in your moments of insanity?  Pretending mommy's still alive?"

"Do you want to die Cloud?  It's not pleasant, I assure you."

"Stop that, both of you."  Tifa ordered.  "Cloud was out of line just now, but why here, Sephiroth?  Why not where there are more people?"

"I'm not a person?"  I queried quietly, my eyes narrowed to angry slits of glowing scarlet.

"I didn't mean it that way.  I mean more normal people.  People who know how to be happy in normal ways that don't include killing."

"I don't enjoy killing."

Tifa blinked.  "But every snow woman I've met. . ."

"If  you met them, they were ill.  It happens to all of us sometimes.  We go mad and want to kill.  But most of the time we just want to be left alone to live our solitary lives out here in the cold where humans rarely come."

"I apologize then."  Tifa said awkwardly.  "I know you can't leave the cold, but wouldn't it be better for him if he was around people who weren't angry all the time?  He needs to learn how to find happiness without requiring power, learn the joy of watching children play on a sunny day, the beauty in flowers and friendship."

"How poetic . . . and blind.  Can't you see the beauty here?  The sunlight glistening off the ice, the pulsing colors of the mako in the crystal caves.  The stark spires of wind carved rock reaching towards the delicate swirls of  white and gray in the heavens.  It's the most gorgeous continent of the planet."  Sephiroth commented.  Tifa gave him a wry smile to acknowledge that he won the pretty words contest.

            "Besides, do you think anyone would accept me?  Do you truly think there is a pure human anywhere on this planet who could even come close to understanding why I think the way I do?  Do you think I could ever understand them?  They brag about a famous relative- I've studied them in detail and know they were a bastard in person.  But they don't want to hear that.  They switch on a light, and I wonder whether the power comes from Corel coal or harnessed mako.  They talk about how beautiful a spring is, I realize that the lack of rain will cause drought in the summer.  They complain about their lives; I can't relate in the slightest because they seem like such minor problems.  I don't think the same, can you understand that?  Besides, I will live forever.  Why would I want to watch them die?  I'm not that sadistic."

"How dare you!" Tifa surged to her feet.  "How dare you. . . you insult love, you insult friendship, you. . ."

"I wasn't referring to you and Cloud, I was referring to myself.  I was not raised to think like you think a human should; he was.  Perhaps he can interact comfortably with them.  Perhaps you will be happy together, and it will be memories of you that sustain him through the next millennia.  It would not work for me."

Tifa swallowed hard.  "You'll never know till you try."

"What's wrong with Him living here?  We understand him, we care about him.  Why is that bad?"  I protested.  "You are like every other human, seeing your way as the best, your thoughts as the only truth."  I turned to the yellow haired male. "Surely you at least can understand that the human way is not correct?  Look at the evil your 'superior race' has done!"

"That is what we are worried about,"  Cloud said quietly, swishing the dregs of his tea so it formed a whirlpool in the middle.  "You understand him too much.   Being near a happy person generally makes others happy, a sad person will make others sad.  You are both so filled with hatred and anger. . .  We want you to change into someone less dangerous to the planet, Sephiroth.  I cannot let you stay here and stew in thoughts of injustice and revenge forever.  No matter what you promise, over the centuries, that will drive you insane."

"Do you see me that way?" A silver eyebrow cocked in idle curiosity.  "A belligerent fool wrapped in the shrouds of thousands but still angry at the piece stolen from mine?  I think I merely am not blind to the truths you refuse to see.  I feel no hatred; it is the nature of mankind to behave as they did.  I would just as soon get angry at a rainstorm that wets my clothing.  Perhaps there is even a purpose to mankind's behavior, that I merely can not see yet."

  "We need to send you to Cosmo Canyon."  Tifa muttered. 

"I know that I have not done good with my life," He continued.  "I know that many would say I have done evil.  But I have only behaved in the manner prescribed to me by this world.  This world is not a cheerful happy place; it is one of blood and terror and tears.  At least half the population will try to bully the other half.  Every person does stupid arrogant things in anger over a slight.  They just don't have the power I do, so they can't cause as much damage.  But they would if they could."  He sighed.  "Humans want to believe in a perfect world so bad. . .  but every creature on the planet obeys the same stupid rules.  A strong male chocobo kills weaker males during mating season.  Snake vines wrap around oak trees and strangle them,  and even grass grows on the dead bodies of those long gone.  Don't worry about me Cloud, worry about yourself.  Worry about what you will become when you finally open your eyes to the lie you have been living."

"And go away."  I added. 

"Listen to his pretty twisted words of half truths and lies."  Tifa shook her head in disbelief.   "How can you support him?  Do you think that he loves you?  Do you think he's even capable of that kind of love?  He considers himself a god, do you hear me?  We're all lower creatures to him:  you, me, the grass on the plains, we're all the same in his eyes.  Not people, just creatures living by our instincts."

"That is basically correct, except that I consider myself a creature as well.  There are no gods."

"You seem like an intelligent woman,"  Tifa continued, ignoring His words.  "Does he seduce you with empty promises?  Do you feel safe under his protection?  Let me tell you, he's killed most of those who trusted him with their lives in the past.  He's probably just using you for your seduction spells in bed."

 I slapped her, cutting short the offensive words.  Neither of the males moved to interfere, although both tensed up.  Was I about to start a fight?  I hoped so.  But apparently not, for He relaxed back against the wall.

"With those words you're trying to convince me that the world can be a nice place?   Thank you for making my point for me, Tifa."  He murmured.  "I think it's time for the two of you to go."

Cloud nodded and stood.  "You're always welcome, if you ever want to try our way."  He said quietly.  "I can't promise that we'll all get along, but I wanted to make the offer.  That's the original reason we came.  But we won't bother you anymore today.  Come on Tifa."  He handed Tifa her pack from the hook near the door and slung his own over his broad shoulders.  Sephiroth brushed past them to open the door, a non subtle invitation.  For a second, as Cloud stared at him in silent communication, for the first time I saw the part of Cloud that was the same as Him, and perhaps the same as I.  Humans were shallow, but Cloud's soul was heavy with quiet acceptance, forged by his own deep memories of pain.  But there was more.  As he stood there next to Sephiroth, he was gold and life against icy silver perfection.  Hair the color of the sun burst out of his head full of energy and chaos, full of life.   I suddenly felt pain in the knowledge that He had burned like that once, but His flames had been extinguished forever by a betrayal long ago.   

I understood the attraction behind Cloud's way of life, just from that one look, from seeing them standing together like that where it was so easy to compare them.  Perhaps Cloud lived in a lie, perhaps he would be broken by that knowledge in the future.  But He was already broken, while for now, Cloud was strong and wild and powerful and free, soaring through life searching for the eternal joy he knew waited just beyond the next morning.  That he wouldn't find it didn't really matter.  It was the search, the excitement, the hope.  Yes, that was it, the hope that I had never seen in Sephiroth's eyes shone bright and clear through his, even through the dark memories of hardships suffered.  For a second I wanted to ask them to take Him back to the lands of sunlight and warmth where I could never follow; take him to lands bursting with life and foolish human stupidity that might make him laugh. 

Then Cloud turned away and they left, disappearing into the constant swirls of snow that defined the northern continent. 

I curled up into a chair and watched Him as he cleaned the cups and carefully rinsed the teapot clean of leaves. 

"Would you be happier with them?"  I asked quietly.

He snorted.  "Don't be stupid." 

He hadn't even noticed.  How sad.

"They make a cute couple."  I commented, stroking Sydney's bat like wings as the ice dragon wriggled his scaled body in pleasure.  He had flown in just after they had left, before He had shut the door.  Not that He would have deliberately shut him out; it had just been too crowded with the visitors for him to come in earlier.

He laughed shortly.  "Don't demean yourself, Ice Queen.  Our companionship has never been so shallow as the fleeting falsehoods humans call lust or love.   I enjoy your presence, and you enjoy mine.  It is a mutually beneficial arrangement."

Sydney crooned and licked me with a long forked tongue encrusted with ice crystals.  "Am I your pet then?"

"Perhaps.  Or perhaps I am yours."  He sighed and put down the dishes, turning to face me.  "I shouldn't have let them even open their mouths,"  he grumbled.  "It is the human way to always seek change, whether it's needed or not.  I think you and I know better."

Perhaps he was correct.  I was happier now than I could ever remember. 

 "Cloud said he would be the human's guardian.  How sad that there is no one to protect us monsters."  I murmured softly, as Sydney curled up on the floor beside me, resting his shimmering blue head in my lap.

"Ah, now this is the true Queen of the Snow, looking for advantage and power like a good leader.  You would have done well at Shinra, I think."  But his green eyes sparkled with amusement.  "My apologies that I have no interest in helping you."

"You as in 'you monsters'?"

He laughed and corrected himself obediently,  "us monsters."

And I smiled because I knew that meant he would.

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Is the Snow Queen coming off as too much of a Mary Sue (original character who's absolutely perfect, usually a self insert)?  She really is absolutely nothing like me, and it's not intended to be a self insert, but I know that somehow most original characters end up sounding that way.  I want to know if I should continue using her or ditch her, now that she's served her purpose in the story line.

Next up are three possibilities.  "To Define Evil"  which explains Sephiroth's return, why he's semi- nice to Cloud and Tifa, why he won't let anyone but  himself harm Cloud, and a full adventure storyline besides.  Already well over fifty nine pages, it's only half done, so it'll be a while before it's out.  A so far  untitled story about what Cloud and Sephiroth do as the semi official 'guardians' when the humans start slaughtering the monsters or vice versa.  Not even started, and it'll be long too, so don't hold your breath waiting.  Or, a short story called "Never a Prince: Tale of a frog," that'll be either humor- I hope!-  or heavy angst; I haven't decided yet.  It's not started either, but it'll be short, so I should be able to get it done in a few days.   I'll probably be working on all three at once.  Once again, thank you for reading, and please C&C!

P.S.  Just so you know, I'm so busy writing "To Define Evil" that I'm not editing these short stories much before I send them out, since they are more writing exercises than anything else, so don't be supprised if there's some minor changes from one story to the next.