rightbeforeoureyes

Right Before Our Eyes

Less than a perfect day, less than a perfect reason to ever come back. It had been the day of deeds for Relena and Heero, with the entire gang bound together for some strangely erratic reason. The service and reception was being held at the Darlian mansion, big white tents and streamers and festivities galore. But it wasn't a smooth goings over. By the time Relena had gotten into the dress, she was so stressed out that she'd given her husband-to-be a nice whack for good measure before running to the house and locking herself in her room. Odd. Especially for Relena. That was the first time that any of us had seen her fragile side, near over the breaking point.
Hilde and I had witnessed it from afar, realizing all too soon that it would have been better for them to have just eloped and never told until after their honeymoon. At least then Zechs wouldn't be hard driven to kill Heero before taking Relena back down the aisle. The alcohol hadn't helped, I suppose, but we'd also had our share.
Almost ten full hours after the wedding had been called off by Heero when he learned why Relena went off the handle, we both sat out on the front lawn. Passing a bottle of Wild Turkey and the occasional remark, we watched the stars intently, as if something would move before we could take notice. Hilde had looked over at me one particular time, probably our third or fourth round on the liquor, and sighed.
You know, she began a bit sluggishly. I went to talk to Relena when she first locked herself up.
You did?
Hilde nodded. She snapped because of the attendants and all the stress. Someone said something or other about her being foolish or not listening to her brother, putting her career first or something, I really don't remember it all.
I passed her the bottle sympathetically and stared up at the blue dark of night as it weaved around us like a sheath.
She went on, I never actually could have guessed that they would get married before--I mean, uh...
I looked over at her, Before what?

Stopped short, the lip of the bottle only mere centimeters from her mouth, Hilde finally took her respective swig and passing it on to me. I readjusted my position in the lawn chair that we'd swiped from the basement earlier and gulped back a mouthful.
As we lounged carelessly, remembering how Relena had to run through a gaggle of frightened swans that had been rented for the wedding. Not too long after that we found Wufei and some new Preventer intern named Mixy getting fresh under the banquet table. At that, we both fell into a strong bout of laughter, a cascade of humor and jovial charm that erupted into brawny guffaws and hoohas when the image of Wufei--bright red with embarrassment--struggling to maintain control without making a scene came to memory. We reared back our heads and howled at the moon, basking in its glow, relishing the fine flavor of the day's troublesome events. Meanwhile, the remnants of white banners strewn in the treetops flagged about in the wind. Not too far beyond the boughs of those towering trees, the mansion loomed like a ghost-ridden house of horror. But we knew better. Everything would be better the next day, we were sure of it.
One single light was lit among the dozens of windows, Relena's bedroom, deeming to prove that the pair had stayed together. Their silhouette edged against the drawn curtains, evoking Hilde's childish fawning. She leaned over and put her hands on my arm, her eyes glistening. I sputtered out a few inaudible words, and Hilde giggled at me and my flustered state, patting my cheek, stealing away the booze.
And so we sat there then, passing our dwindling supply of liquor back and forth in the moonlight. At least, for a while we did. I suggested that we do some exploring, when Hilde'd called it scavenging. The chairs were abandoned at around two a.m. and we headed inside, thumping and stumbling to the steps where we had to help each other up. The lights were on, streamers hanging flatly around them. Hilde pushed the door open and didn't dare fumble for the light switch. First, we wouldn't have been able to see for at least five minutes, and because we didn't know how many people had crashed there. I followed up on the rear, as she stepped over cups and the remains of an elegant party that had been torn to shreds by Wufei and Zechs on rampage.
We wound our way through the foyer, navigating through the hall, having to step over an unconscious Quatre and about fifty members of his entourage. I accidentally jostled one of them, who ended up lurching forward and grabbing Hilde's foot. Covering her mouth to stifle a coming scream, I pulled my arms around her drunkenly, rubbing against her breasts without noticing until it was too late. She regained composure after I let her go, even when the man's hairy hand was still clasped around her ankle. I started to laugh at her as she tried to get away to no avail, until the Maguanac had successfully brought her tumbling down in defeat.
I breathed, having to catch her again. If I hadn't she would have surely screamed and woken up the entire household. But if we were sober, we wouldn't have had to worry about any of this ever happening.
Down she went, crashing, my only grip on the skirt of her dress, which was royal blue and pretty well gorgeous for bridesmaid attire. She slipped down, to land on the bare floor, a random arm or leg sticking out here and there. And the silence was broke with a SCHRRRRRCH, THUD, UGH, and THUMP. The dress tore, Hilde made impact, she groaned, and that same man rolled over onto her. I saw her face go beet red on impulse as he groped over her in his sleep. I couldn't help but hold in my laughter as she flailed, not wanting to wake him but also not wanting him on her either.
She reached up towards me, Duo, help!
What do you want me to do about this?
Get im off!
I kneeled down to pry the man away, slowly easing him back to his original position while Hilde clawed at my shirt to get away. We stood up together, and started on our way again, this time with Hilde's dress now about two feet shorter and ragged at the edges, now revealing her thighs. She didn't seem to mind, though. I walked behind her, my eyes so firmly planted on her ass--which was almost showing--that I didn't notice the ice sculpture that I was about to run into. It rocked and swiveled as I fought to contain it, Hilde rushing over to push at the opposite side.
What are you doing? Hilde seethed at me, not really angry.
A smile. You know, Hilde?

You've got the nicest fanny I've ever seen, I said innocently. I kinda, well, really want to jump on that ass like five minutes to eleven.
The next thing I got was a knock in the jaw playfully, when the sculpture got its equilibrium. She sashayed away, into the kitchen, and left me to follow like her ever-willing servant.
What are we hunting for?
I don't know, I said, when we'd raided the entire kitchen's recesses for something of interest. I'm sure there's something neat around here somewhere.
I'd already gotten rid of my jacket, posing as Heero's best man, and left the cumber bun on because Hilde said she thought it looked sexy. She herself, the maid of honor, was also looking quite dashing there in the pale light of the kitchen. Every now and then I'd see her catching glimpses of me, trailing over my body. Not that I minded! Because I was doing the same to her, now that her legs were bare, tinted deep honey because of the hosiery she was wearing. Gathered now before the wine rack, our shoulders close as we drooled.
You grab another Wild Turkey, she said, and I'll get the vodka.
I snorted. Do you really want a hangover that bad, Hilde?
She'd already lugged a bottle into her arms. For your information, vodka is least likely to give you a hangover.
How do you know?
Her giggles and sly looks sent me a chilling idea of where she'd gained such information. Though she spat like a cobra at my superior knowledge of drinking, she continued holding the vodka through protest that we didn't need it, even as we made our way to a hiding spot. We passed the library, paused, backed up, and entered due to Hilde's sparked interest. She set down the bottles on a desk, and saw the huge windows at the far end with an expression beyond that of joy. I trailed in suit and popped the top off of the fresh Wild Turkey and scanned over the massive walls of books.
Hilde announced, flipping on a single lamp. What are we going to do now?
I shrugged, holding up the liquor. Want to wake someone up so we can play a game?
She came over and shook her head briskly. No no no!
A chuckle rose in my breath as I said that single word.
Hilde leaned forward, alcohol's scent hovering in her presence. Because I want to be alone here.
I exclaimed smoothly. Why on earth do you want to be alone with me in some dark library with nothing but booze and plenty of free space?
We both arched our eyebrows, intoxication weighing down on us. She took the Wild Turkey from me, and I watched. Suddenly, I saw that she was glowing with the light of the moon shining in the windows, that lamp simply illuminating our forms, casting stalky shadows across the floor. She looked matronly, lifting that liquor to her mouth, helping me exploit Relena's beverage assortment on her hubby day. I felt oddly aroused by her now, her eyes sooty, that smile curving around the lip of the bottle, her breasts rising and falling at a constant rhythm. Her skin was golden now from a tan she'd gained while spending Relena's last bachelorette week on the beach with her.

This caught her attention, and she handed the bottle to me, rubbing her mouth off with her arm.
When did you get so hot?
She looked down and over herself, running her hands over her arms and shoulders. I'm actually kind of cold.
I stepped closer and lifted her chin with my hand, saying No. Not like that.
Her eyes looked inquisitively at me. Duo, what is it, you goofy son of a...Duo?
Before I even knew what I was doing, I had kissed her. Our lips met and connected there, holding until I deepened instinctively. My tongue roved over her lips, tasting of Wild Turkey and slightly of icing we'd swiped from the cake earlier. Her cheeks blushed as my hands fitted against her neck. Hesitantly at first, then more assured, she put her arms around me and onto my back while I continued to kiss her. I finally broke for air and she was breathing quickly.
Hilde's body trembled, enticing me to hold her agonizingly tighter, until her hipbones pushed into my torso. I smiled at her, feeling dizzy and strangely tingly. She wobbled in my arms, the alcohol slowing her reaction time down. Too much, I'd supposed, even though she'd seemed to be holding it like a man. I myself was getting crispy and on the borderline of being baked, but could still tell well enough that we'd had enough Wild Turkey, now that she was getting drunkenly stupored.
No more hootch tonight, I said evenly, my own senses dulled. You're smashed.
I am, she paused to catch her breath,
She was sweating now, the liquor trickling out of her system. I nodded at her and kept my arm around her for support. What about the vodka? Hilde said distantly as we moved for the balcony.
We're going to get this out of our systems.
She wailed. But we just got it! All the drinks, Duo! Since when did you get sober?
Maybe I just realized that we shouldn't be drinking. We reached the windowed doors, and I tripped over the handles. Plus, it's not real sexy when you smell like a still.
You smell like one too!
Just trust me, okay? I'm probably the sanest I'll ever be right now, and I'm almost shot, so put a little faith in me. And try to understand.

I shoved the doors open with my foot and led her outside, my sense of direction not faring too well. I care too much for you to let you drink yourself into an early grave because of me.
What? I wasn't--
I braced myself against the railing and looked down at the grounds where I saw someone passed out in the flower beds. Hilde stretched out, her back popping at least ten times along the way. She looked away from me, then gave my shoulder a quick swat.
I think I catch you now, she said. I get it.
I said a bit sarcastically, although not intending to.
You care for me.
Did it really fly over her head that much? Yes, I do.
I smiled when her hands found their way around my waist. Good. Because I've felt that way about you for a long time.
She quivered against me and I put my arm over her, letting her stay on my side as we tried to freshen up. I guess it'd be a good idea to get some tomato juice and celery. I hope Relena has a surplus of Alka-Seltzer too.
Hilde nuzzled her face into my chest, her hands tightly wound into my shirt. Duo, do you only like me as a friend?
I choked, my head starting to pound, the lull of alcohol weaning away, surprisingly.
She didn't hesitate. I know that I love you, Duo Maxwell. I know it when I'm dead sober, and also when I'm drunk as a skunk, so don't think it's the Turkey.
From back inside the library, the doors opened and shut quietly. In the haze of darkness and light from the lamp, I saw someone approaching our stash of booze. It was apparently a he, since the hips didn't sway and the stride was too coarse to be female. I held Hilde close still, not caring who it was.

Yeah, it's me, I recognized his voice. How are things?
Heero sat down in a stiff leather chair and ran his fingers through his hair. She's asleep. Too much stress, too little sleep and nutrition. She said that she didn't like the media and flash. The she wants to elope.
Hilde sniffed. That's not so bad of an idea.
I turned slowly, until I could rest against the railing and face Heero, Hilde hanging onto me as I moved to hold her better. She stayed flat to my chest, her face hidden away; one hand on her back, one on her waist, I kept her possessively.
He dropped his head, picking at his shirt until he got it untucked, the cumber bun tossed away prior to entering. I made her sleep.
Heero looked over at us, noticing when I didn't answer, then saw the Wild Turkey and shook his head at me. Are you drunk, Maxwell?
Not completely.
Standing to his full height of five ten, Heero rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks, and scowled at me. I thought you'd be a bit more responsible, Duo. But then again you never fail to surprise me.
What do you mean? I said as Hilde yawned. There's nothing wrong with a drink after a bad day.
I was the one who has a fiancé who's about to run away, he said in his old steely voice, and I haven't had one drink today. Not one. He motioned back into the library and spoke calmly, Sit Hilde down in here, I want to talk to you.
This was a thoroughly new side of Mr. Yuy that I hadn't seen. I did as he told me and put Hilde in a chair, who languidly agreed with little fuss. Heero led me back out to the balcony and shut the doors with a CLACK. He stood where I had been, and saw that stargazer in the bushes just as I had.
You were the last person I though that Relena and I would beat, he said slowly.
Silence.
Heero wouldn't break his gaze from the ground below us. I could see tension rising in his back, muscles tightening against his shirt as he bent over the railing, holding his head down. I always thought that you and Hilde were something special.
She is special to me, I rebutted, jabbing my thumb back in her direction. I care a great deal about that girl.
Then why do you avoid it? Why do you avoid what you feel? I felt my heartbeat rise. Relena told me herself that she thought you two would be together years before I even admitted that I loved her.
You don't understand, Heero, I told him. Ever since--
Ever since you were a child, all those who matter to you have died. He knew. How did he know? But you can't run away from her. If you do, she'll either walk away from you, or walk away from life.
I wanted to say something, to defend myself. But no words came.
You can't hide from love. Even me, I couldn't hide from it and I was trained from childhood to not even feel emotion. But I do. It's humanity. You can't cut off your programing and toss it away like you can in a computer. You just can't. There's no way to survive without it. He paused, summing up his feelings. I realized that I couldn't. I know now that I can't stand to be away from her. I don't know how you two are away from us and the public eye, whether you get your kicks from her with no cares about responsibility--
Then I got angry. That was uncalled for! I would never do something like that! Hilde's more than a courtesy fuck to me, you know! How dare you even think that I'd do something like that? I swear to God, you'd better be glad that I'm drunk.
Why would you not do that? He asked almost rhetorically, veering halfway at the waist to watch me from the corner of his eyes. Living in the same house with a beautiful woman whom you know loves you more than life itself. Hasn't it ever crossed your mind to take advantage of her, even for a little payback for past help?
He turned around to face me, further emphasizing his point. In a bout of blurred rage, I lashed out for once in my life and punched him. Not as hard as I could have at another time, but hard enough to knock him off balance. His hand went to his jaw, knowing that I hadn't done any damage.
Because you love her. That's why, He said, out of a deafening and awkward stillness.
I backed away, my hand still clenched. I did love her. That woman whom I'd trusted, relied upon, put all my confidence in on being there. That woman whom I could tell anything to, except the plain truth of how I felt about her. She'd just admitted her deepest secret, and what had I done? Did I even really hear her say it? Or had I just pushed it away like everything else that mattered? My closest friend, my only confidant, one that held more love than a mother who I never knew. The only person that I really loved. And all I could do was punch my best pal because he was showing me how much of a jackass I was.
I do love her.
Why don't you tell her?
I guess that I've deluded myself into thinking that admiration at a distance is just as good, I explained, dropping my fist and collapsing against the wall next to the doors, holding my head. I'm sorry, Heero. You were right.
Heero rubbed his jaw for another moment, and opened the doors to leave me in the cold. He walked past Hilde, momentarily standing next to her, looking down. She was about to pass out, and he stared blankly, his posture rail straight, and glared at me as I peeked through the glass. Quickly, he left the room and shut the doors, the triangle of light from the hallway light fixtures sliding smaller and smaller as he did so. I went in too, wasting time by pulling the doors shut inch by inch, searching for what to say.
Hilde slid off the chair, now proving that she was still awake, and tried to find her footing. When she couldn't and simply fell back, I crouched down next to her and saw that Heero had left a pack of Alka-Seltzers by the chair. Hilde hadn't even noticed that I was there, her arm draped lazily over her eyes, breathing thickly.
I said, now fixing our hangover relief. Hilde? You okay, hon?

Hm? Is that a yes or no? I held our glasses and sat beside her on the floor. Here, Hilde. Sit up.
I had to help her, and even make sure that she drank all of the fizzy Alka-Seltzer. She was really bombed, and I wasn't sure if it was a good time for me to explain how much of an idiot I was. If I did, would she remember the next day?
We both sat there, the buzz of Alka-Seltzer in our ears, Wild Turkey beginning to steam out through our pores and sweat. After a few minutes, she looked over at me as she had been doing most of the night, and touched my face.
she said wistfully, what are you thinking of?

I saw her grin in the faint dimness and found myself holding her hand where it was with my own. Hilde, you remember what you said to me, right?
That I love you?'
I nodded, my throat tightening.
Of course.
I took a deep breath to prepare the words. I haven't been truthful with myself, or with you.
Oh, you don't--
I squeezed my hand around hers, my eyes closed. I do love you, Hilde. I haven't let myself see it and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so stubborn. I do love you. More than anything. More than life, more than the colonies and earth, and more than Deathscythe.
She laughed and I wasn't surprised. At some prior time, the Deathscythe had been the only thing of worth to me that I hadn't killed or destroyed. But she had far outlasted that Gundam. And wasn't a menace to the peace of the ESUN and colonies.
I love you, Hilde.
Her arms twisted around me again and this time I was the one that was being held. The grandfather clock down the hall chimed out two thirty and we stayed there in the library all morning. We eventually fell asleep, in each other's arms, until the biting sunshine of mid day in the mansion. The liquor stayed where it was, untouched, unneeded. All that counted was the warmth of the person whom you loved, and their equal love for you. And Heero was right. He and Relena had found love before us all, when it was right before our eyes the entire time.

The end.