OK

OK, I am like obsessed with Paper Mario right now... :P This is another behind-the-scenes story, this time about General Guy. It should be longer than my last one, as I'm not done writing yet... I have no idea what inspired me, I guess it was just the fact I LOOOOOOOOOOVE Shy Guys!
Once again, all the characters are copyrighted to Nintendo and all; they are not mine, except for the Shy Gurl. I made her up; obviously not ALL the Shy Guys are males.
I hope to continue this soon; sorry I'm being so unearthly slow, people... Always busy...
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"Ten-hut troops! Now show me what the formation is if Mario attacks!"

The Shy Squad simply looked at one another for about two seconds and then ran around screaming. "AAHHHHH! AAAHHHH! EEE!"

I sighed and shook my head. "Why do I even bother" I muttered to myself. "TROOPS! Try again! That's not it! No freaking out!"

"But, scary, Mario will EAT US!!!" a Shy Guy shouted.

"No, he won't. He eats pasta. And the like. Not Shy Guys."

"Shy Guy Pasta? Shy Alfredo? Shy Guy flavored ice cream? How about chicken with Shy Guy sauce? Or Shy Guy with sautéed Koopa? Or Koopa with sautéed Shy Guy?!"

"For the love of GOURMET GUY!"

"What?"

"STOP THINKING ABOUT FOOD FOR TWO SECONDS, WOULD YOU?!"

The big, fat Shy Guy everyone called the Gourmet Guy counted to two. "One Two. OK, I stopped thinking about food for two seconds I think"

"Let's just try the drill again later," I groaned. "And remember: you are to ATTACK Mario, not run away in fear, OK?"

The Shy Squad answered that by running away screaming.

"We have a ways to go," I muttered, "That's for sure"

"Mm, I think I'm going to go outside, General," Gourmet Guy told me. "I just love staring at the clouds and thinking of what food they look like or how they would taste."

"Ah, speaking of that, my dear severely overweight troop, how are things going with wreaking havoc in town?"

"Oh, that! General, I think we're on the verge of total takeover! Every time I go in the bakery they let me raid to my stomach's content! It's great!"

I eyed Gourmet Guy's stomach. Gourmet Guy was HUGE; he looked like he could easily swallow any normal sized Shy Guy in a single gulp!

"Well, whatever, go out there and make me proud, troop!"

"Yes, sir!" Gourmet Guy saluted, accidentally throwing his fork in the process. His fork proceeded to pin me to the wall by my robe. "Oops, sorry, General Guy"

"Just get OUT"

"Yes, sir!" he scrambled out but tripped and fell, which I'm sure registered on the Richter scale

I first went over various plans for formations and maneuvers my Shy Squad should do in the case of a Mario attack, then went to work on my secret weapon. So what if it was built out of wires, toys, and a single light bulb! No one could stand against it! It would prevail!

Well, at least I hope it would Mario couldn't beat the new improved (if it ever got that far) Shy Squad! Could he?

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"General Guy, sir! We have the report, sir!"

"Daily report on Toad Town Takeover?"

"Yes, sir! The TTT record. Oh, hee hee: The Toad Town Takeover Record. The TTTTR. Oh, wait, that would just be TTTTR. Four-T-R. 4TR? Ooh, how about"

"Style Guy! JUST GIVE ME THE DANG REPORT!"

"OK, the 4TR. We've caused chaos in the city!" he stopped. "That's it, general, sir."

"What?! Well, for sure Troops! Give me a more complete Toad Town Takeover Report! 4TR, or whatever the heck you called it. Now, troops!"

"Yes, sir, General Guy!"

"And where's Gourmet Guy?"

"We don't know, sir. Probably eating, sir."

"Yes, you're probably right. Carry on, troops!"

The Style Guy left, him being one of the few who wouldn't run off screaming.

Things are looking good, I thought, Very good. When, IF, Mario gets back, he'll be in for a nasty Shy Surprise!

Of course, if he did come back, I certainly hope he would bring no Boos with him; their job was spooking people, and, as you see, it took absolutely nothing to scare a Shy Guy. Hey, that's why we're called "Shy Guys" after all. Some of us, like me and the Gourmet Guy, aren't scared of much, but even we had our weak points

"General Guy, sir!" a frantic Shy Gurl (female Shy Guy) came to me, "We have a problem! There's a a"

"What is it? Shy Gurl? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I HAVE!!!! There's this thing here that's called the Lantern Ghost. It's a ghost with a lantern! It went into the area that me and a few others were in, and it it turned out the light!!!!! AHHHHHH! It was too scary!!!"

"Oh, for the love of OK, Shy Gurl, let me tell you this: darkness never hurt anyone."

"BUT IT'S SCARY!!! There's a real MONSTER in the dark THIS TIME!!! I want my Mommy! Waaaaahhhhh!"

I was getting mad. "I'll handle this Lantern Ghost'! Shy Gurl, cover for me!"

"Um Ok, General"

I started to walk off, then remembered something. "By the way, Shy Gurl, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ITS EXACT LOCATION!!!!!!"

"Red Station, general, sir. Not far from here."

"Red Station?! Oh, that is quite serious." My "hideout" was also near Red Station. "How did it get that far in the Toy Box?"

"Um, sir it's because we wanted to stop it, but running away in fear didn't work too well"

"YOU IDIOT!!!! That is not a battle maneuver! Running away in fear does not do anything to discourage the enemy."

"It can do something, sir."

"Eh?" I stopped. "What's that, Shy Gurl?"

"Make the enemy think you're so insane that it's not worth fighting you and leave, sir."

I shrugged, not impressed. "Well, whatever That is not the way of a true troop though! With work, we shall make the Shy Squad brave! All will tremble with fear when Shy Squad' is mentioned!"

"Sir, right now everyone breaks out in laughter when we are mentioned, sir."

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM, YOU MORON!! We need to make people afraid!"

"Over here, sir, this is where the ghost is." she motioned to a room. "He turned off the light, sir. So we're too scared to go in"

"Problem solved," I muttered, flipping on the light switch.

Shy Gurl gasped. "General Guy, sir! How did you do that?!"

"You're dumber than I thought," I grumbled. "See this switch?"

"Yes, sir."

"Flip it down, light goes off. Flip it up, light goes on." I did so. "See, Shy Gurl?"

She frowned. "I think, but that looks hard, sir. Show me again, sir?"

I did so. "Think you can operate it yourself?"

"No sir It is too high-tech, we'd best just leave it to you, sir."

"Oh, for the love of Well, whatever. Now, where's this ghost'?"

"Over here!" Shy Gurl led me to yet another room. "S-see, in there, sir."

I felt around for the lightswitch. "Funny," I mumbled, "It should be here"

"Um, excuse me sir, I um, I think the big scary ghost like, um, took it off"

"What the?!" I whirled around to see who had spoken. It wasn't Shy Gurl; in fact, it didn't sound like a Shy Guy at all and Shy Gurl was cowering in a corner somewhere. "What in the world?"

The thing that had spoken was a little electric spark with a pacifier in her mouth. "The big scary ghost tried to, like, kidnap me!" she wailed. "This place is scary!"

"You're not a Shy Guy!" I told her. "What on earth are you?!"

"A Lil' Sparky. My name is"

"I don't care about your name! Shy Gurl! Come help me take care of this SHY GURL!! GET OVER HERE! SHY GURL!! CAN'T YOU HEAR ME?!!"

"Y-yes sir," was the answer, "But I'm too scared, sir"

"All right, I'll do it my AH! What the?! Where'd the little spark go?"

"Wee, this is fun!" She was playing on these rotating platforms on the wall. "Fun! F-U-N-E! Fun!"

"You misspelled fun'," I told her, "Now, come on, sweetheart, we need to get you to some sort of prison wait a sec WE DON'T HAVE A PRISON!"

"Playing in prison is no fun!" the Lil' Sparky frowned. "I wanna play with you!"

"WITH ME?!" I roared. "NO WAY! SHY GURL, HELP ME OUT HERE!"

"Um, maybe" Shy Gurl looked around wildly, then got an idea. "Go in here!" motioning to the room that the "Lantern Ghost" was in, "There's fun stuff in here!"

The Lil' Sparky shook her head er, her whole self. "No! That big bad monster tried to get me! But I shocked him and he went away."

"Sho-shocked?!" I trembled with fear. That was the only thing I was afraid of: being shocked with electricity. "You're electric, eh?"

"Uh-huh! And my name is"

"I ALREADY SAID, I don't care about your name, sweetheart." To Shy Gurl, I muttered, "How do you lure a toddler electric spark thingy into a dark room?"

"Beats me, sir"