Chapter 3 – Assault!!
I sent a squad of Spy Guys to check up on Mario's current location. The Shy Squad was practicing maneuvers (and screams of terror) while I finished up on my secret weapon.
Shy Gurl hung around with me. I was actually rather proud of her, the only troop who had done anything right so far, even if it was on accident. "General Guy, sir Is there anything else we should do in order to keep Mario away, sir?"
"I've been thinking on that, troopette," I answered. "Perhaps Setting up a barricade in the hallway leading from Red Station to this hideout would be a good idea. Shy Gurl, why don't you lead them in building it?"
"Really, sir?! You think I would be able to do that without messing up?!"
"No," I muttered, "But if it distracts the opponent for at least two seconds, it's worth a try. TROOPS! Who is willing to assist Shy Gurl in creating a barricade?!"
Since none of them directly answered, I picked a few random ones and set them off. "Make it good, troops!"
Shy Gurl saluted. "Aye aye sir! Hey does this mean I'm one of your actual officers right now, General?!"
"Yes, if you succeed, I might make you Lieutenant Gurl'," I promised. "I kind of doubt you'll succeed, though"
"Ooh, ooh, I'll try, sir! Shy Squad! Are you ready?"
Nothing but insane screams, which Shy Gurl took as a yes. "THEN LET'S GO!"
Once they left, I firmly attached the lightbulb to my weapon. "There we go, all done Mario will never be able to beat it! In fact, if one of my Shy Guys takes it over and attacks me using it, I wouldn't be able to beat it!"
Now let's focus on Shy Gurl and the rest of the Shy Squad's attempting to build a barricade.
"What should we build it out of?"
Shy Gurl frowned, thinking. "Um Uh I dunno."
"Blocks!" another one shouted. "Hee hee, whenever someone makes a tower of blocks, I can't knock it down, I'm too much of a nitwit', as General Guy says, though I don't know what that means Anyway, let's build it out of blocks!"
"Ok, that'll do." Shy Gurl tried to pick up a block about the size of her hand. "Ooh! Ooh! Heavy! It must weigh about 10 ounces!"
Another Shy Guy picked it up for her, and after about ten minutes of building and accidental knocking down, they finally had a good blockade.
That is, until a clumsy Shy Guy leaned against it and knocked it over
They were rebuilding it again when a frantic Spy Guy ran in. "MARIO'S HEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEE!" he shouted. "RED STATION! Here's here! I mean, he's here! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!?!?!"
"PANIC!" Shy Gurl and the others ran around screaming for a moment. Suddenly, she stopped. "No, no, no! That won't do! Um Hurry up! Rebuild the block-ade! Hee hee Get it? A blockade of blocks: block-ade!"
The Spy Guy wasn't impressed. "Hurry! BEFORE MARIO GETS HERE!!!"
They finished the blockade, and waited, waited patiently
WAITED.
Shy Gurl sent another Shy Guy to check where Mario was, as she was too scared to do so herself. Two seconds later though, he came running back. "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!!" he screeched. "Him and his scary team!"
"If all else fails," Shy Gurl told them, "RUN AWAY!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Everything seemed to be going smoothly that is, until Mario decided to use the pink Bob-omb to blow up the barricade. The soot-covered Shy Guys and Gurl just stared for a moment, until Shy Gurl shrieked, "RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!" The whole squad ran away screaming.
I could hear them long before they came into the room. "MARIO'S HERE MARIO'S HERE MARIO'S HEEEEREEEEE!" Shy Gurl squealed. "What are we GONNA DO, General Guy, sir?!?!?!?!"
"Some soldier you are, troopette," I muttered. "Shy Squad! Into formation! This is the real thing this time!"
There was a lot of screaming and even more confusion, but they got into formation, more or less
After a few minutes, Mario did indeed make his way in there. Just as the Spy Guys had reported, he had quite a team: A Goomba, Koopa Troopa, Bob-omb, Paratroopa, Boo, and, and, and.
WATT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!???!
"There's that General Meanie!" Watt frowned when she saw me. "When I got kidnapped by that big bad monster that kept saying Wee hee hee!' he didn't try to help me! Shy Gurl did though. Where's Shy Gurl? She's my friend!"
Shy Gurl gasped. "Friend? Nobody ever said that before what does it actually mean, general, sir?"
I didn't even answer. "Well, Mario," I said, trying to sound as evil as I could, "I see you have made it here!"
"Who are you?" the Goomba asked.
"I'm General Guy, assigned to protect this Toy Box and protector of a Star Spirit! We have orders from King Bowser to make sure you don't get it, SO YOU WON'T!!!! SHY SQUAD! CHAAAARGE!"
No movement by the squad. They were all shaking with fear and gasping for breath, too scared to even scream.
"ATTACK!" I commanded.
Still nothing.
Needless to say, I was getting a little impatient with my troops "ATTACK HIM ALREADY!!!!!"
Finally, the Shy Squad took heed of what I was saying, and attacked. But once they were attacked by Mario and crew, they ran right back to me!
"WHAT?! What are you doing?!" I demanded.
"THEY'RE SCARY!!!" one Shy Guy wailed. "I'm SCARED!"
"Get back out there!" I ordered. "We have to protect the Toy Box!"
The Shy Guys ran away Quite away right past Mario and gang! "ESCAPE!!!!!"
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF!!" I turned to Shy Gurl. "COME WITH ME! It's time for the secret weapon! Stilt Shys, attack while we get it ready!"
I got up into the weird looking vehicle and Shy Gurl directed me. I accidentally ran over her, though, so once she got back up, she ran away too!
"Argh Shy Squad" I shook that off. "OK, MARIO! Me and you! And your team Well, I'll fight, and beat you all myself!!!"
The pink Bob-omb with them looked confused. "Pardon me saying this," she said, "But, uh, what is that weird-looking thing you're riding in?"
"My secret weapon! It has great power! You won't be able to beat it!!"
The Paratroopa looked confused. "Um, OK, whatever"
Well, I was partially right The Bob-omb's blowing up did do some damage, as did Watt's electrical attacks, but the others could do little or no damage to it.
After a few minutes, I turned on the light bulb. This light bulb was not an ordinary bulb; it could shoot electricity! Which, I noticed, did damage to everyone but Watt
DARN THAT LIL' SPARKY!!!!!! Does it ever end?!?!?!??!
After a few more hits from the super-power toddler, Watt, a few screws fell loose from my machine, and the whole thing collapsed!
Defeat, I thought, shocking defeat
Shocking? Uh-oh
Watt came up to me. "General Guy! Take this!" She shocked me, though rather gently, and I freaked out.
"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK!!!! DON'T SHOCK ME!! NOOOO!!!!!" I ran out screaming, too Hey, I am a Shy Guy, after all!
Which of course, left the fate of the Toy Box in Mario's hands, not to mention the Star Spirit..
Well, as Tutankoopa said, you can certainly have bad days
This though, was worse than bad. Terrible. Horrifying. And the like.
Oh, well, maybe if I train up the Shy Squad a bit more
Bah, I wouldn't bet on it!
Well, that's it with this one... Should I make another, on a different enemy? I
just love writing behind-the-scenes stories on Paper Mario bad guys, I'm just not sure who
to do next...)