Disclaimer – I do not own Robin, Batman, Spoiler or any
other character that may appear in this fic.
They all belong to DC Comics.
Author's Note – My first fanfic, so be gentle. I just felt like I had to write something
after the whole Batman giving away Robin's identity thing. Kind of angsty I guess, but I have plans for
it to get happier. However those plans
will not involve Spoiler. I mean, I
like the girl and all, but what she did to Tim was just plain wrong. Especially after everything he's done for
her.
The rage is pretty much all gone
now. I don't feel angry anymore. Instead it feels like there's this big hole
in my chest where my heart used to be.
I spent so long in doing all of this.
In believing in Batman. In
believing in Bruce Wayne. In trying to
keep the symbol, the legend alive. I
knew that this was what I wanted all along.
I wanted to be Robin. I wanted
to be beside him. I wanted to fight
with him, through thick and through thin, no matter what came along.
I just
never thought something like this would happen. I mean, at exactly what point can you decide that it's okay to
give away someone's secret. I spent so
long hiding this from everyone. I lied
to my Dad, I lied to my friends, and I lied to Ariana… I did it all in compliance with his
wishes. I protected the secret at all
costs. My Dad's practically disowned me
right now because I protected that secret.
I lost all my friends when I was sent away to Brentwood because I
protected that secret. Most of all…I
lost Ariana because I protected that secret.
I figured
it was all okay though, no big deal. I
mean, I'm not too sure how things are going to work out with my Dad, but I've
made some new friends here at Brentwood.
I also got Steph, who I have to admit, is great…was great. Things started off just fine there too. To top it all off, she said the secret
wasn't a big deal. She said it didn't
bother her. Yeah, right. The first thing she did was get jealous over
Star. Can I help it if I didn't want to
see another teen die right there in my arms?
I flash all the names through my mind.
All the people that I've lost in my tenure as Robin. Clyde Rawlins, Karl Ranck, Young-El, Tommy
Meyers. I just couldn't stand to lose
another one, and especially not someone who was actually a true friend of
mine. But does Steph understand
that? No, of course not. Instead she goes off the deep end and
doesn't even talk to me about anything.
There are times in my life when I wouldn't take anything to give up the
Robin outfit…but there are also times when I would almost give anything to be
rid of it.
So all that
leads my back to the present. To me
coming back to my dorm room one day to find the bat signal taped to my
window. All I could think about was how
much I needed this tonight. After
everything that had been going on, I needed to spend some time with Bruce. I needed his guidance and advice on how to
handle how crazy the dual identity thing was getting to be.
Instead, my
world came crashing down around me. I
still can't describe exactly what went through me at that moment when I found
Steph standing on the roof. Shock most
certainly. I didn't know what to do,
how to react. Then she said my
name. I don't know why, but that just
set everything off in my mind. To hear
her call me Tim, it was like a bomb had detonated inside of my brain. I had to get away. I had to escape. My
carefully constructed realities were colliding and all I could do was get the
heck out of dodge. I ran, as fast and
as far as I could. I would have kept
running to Hawaii if a dark shadow hadn't crossed my path. Before I knew it I was staring into the eyes
of the only true father I had ever really had.
I mean, I love my Dad and all, but he's gone so much. After taking up the mantle of Robin, I
always felt that Bruce was as much my father as my own Dad was. But now he stands before me, telling me that
it was his choice, that he brought Steph in on everything. That he gave up MY secret. Then Steph says something about how we can
be together now. That was the last
straw. I saw red as I whirled on
her. I couldn't believe that she could
have the raw nerve to invade my life like that. I though I meant something to her, I though she cared about
me. She knew how important the identity
was for me, and she destroyed it in the worst possible way. Much less, she enjoyed it. She thought it was just a big game, and that
she had finally won the prize. She knew
my identity, the grand prize of them all.
I lashed out at her, and then turned my attentions to my true
betrayer. Standing there in all his
self-righteous glory, telling me that he had made the decision to ruin my
life. I couldn't talk to me. I didn't want to talk to him. I yelled something at him and then just
walked away. Truth be told, I felt at
that moment that I could just walk away from it all. I could walk away from Batman, from Robin, from Steph, heck from
life itself, and never come back.
Which is
where I now find myself. Somehow,
someway I managed to make it to Happy Harbor.
I don't know why, I guess I just needed somewhere to go. It had to be somewhere out of Gotham. I just couldn't stand being in that city a
second longer. I wasn't feeling the
anger anymore. I was just feeling hurt,
and betrayed. It seemed like everyone I
had cared about had turned against me, or at least the two most important
people in my life had. I didn't want to
think anymore. I was so tired. I just wanted to quit it all. Slowly, exhaustion overcame me and I sank my
head down onto the conference table. My
mind finally shut down as the darkness of sleep overcame me.
