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MY "FAREWELL" RANT ABOUT KMART
Relative Voltron disclaimers apply. Kmart is not owned by me, not that I'd want it anyways. A heartfelt mea culpa to Steve Jobs and the insanely great people of Apple, and a not-so-heartfelt mea culpa to Kmart.
The Voltron Force entered the doors of the building, not knowing what to expect. Each carried several boxes of toys.
"Explain to me again, why we're doing this?" Pidge grumbled.
"Because the Princess can't drive a stick shift, and crashed our 'Sixth Lion' sports car to the point of no return," Lance replied. "Princess or not, you still need a license and SOME kind of instructions before you speed off in a sixty thousand-dollar plus piece of equipment.
"And why did it have to be here?" Prince Dusty whined, carrying twice as many boxes as the others due to Allura's broken arm. "There was a very good reason I left this place, not wanting to come back, ever..."
The six fearless pilots entered the Kmart store.
"... and I've just remembered why," Dusty finished as Keith handed him the microphone to begin the latest and greatest Blue Light Special.
"Attention Kmart Shoppers, I'm Prince Dusty Anderson of the Voltron Force, and I'm inviting you to the ladies footwear department for a fantastic Blue Light Special. Right now, we have iLions, which have all the best features of two of America's greatest icons- Voltron's Lions and the funky colors of iMacs. All the other members of the Voltron Force are here as well, so come have your Tangerine iLion signed by none other than Hunk himself, or maybe Keith's Granite iLion is more your Color. We have those plus Pidge's Lime iLion, Lance's Strawberry iLion, and everyone's favorite, Princess Allura's Indigo iLion. And of course, when you buy all five, you can form iVoltron, to vanquish the evil likes of Zarkon, or even Bill Gates! So come on over today, as these iLions will be going fast, and thank you for shopping Kmart!" Dusty sounded exactly like a disc jockey as he promoted the iLions, but quickly switched off the mic when he was finished.
"And now you know why I quit Kmart," Dusty sighed. "Those doggone blue lights haunted me in my sleep!"
~FIN~