THE TRUE STORY OF BILLY GOATS GRUFF(TOLD BY THE TROLL)
Hello there my fine feathered friends. Most of you know me by
the story that the three little goats told you about me, the selfish,
uncaring troll. Well enough of those old tales, here's my story.
So go get some popcorn, and get ready for the show. Remember, silence
is golden.
Well, there I was one day just sitting in my cozy little home,
under that bridge that you all know so much about. Well, that there
bridge not only provides shade for wonderful me, but it is my passage
over to the finest grass you've ever seen. Well, you see, I'm not a
man that likes grass too much; wait a minute, I'm not even a man!
Okay, so I'm not a troll that ever liked grass all that much, but I
was ever so hungry. So I went up and over to get some fine green
grass. When I got under the bridge I saw three mighty fine lookin
plump ol' goats.
Well, I thought a while, and then a lightbulb went off in my head.
Duh! Goats eat grass! I figured that they were comin over to steal
my fine grass right out from under my nose. Well that I most
certaintly couldn't let happen, so I went back under my bridge to wait
for those goats so I could reason with them a little. A little after
10 minutes had passed, when I heard those goats clompin above my head.
My heart started to pound, and my mouth begin to moisten. I decided
to go up and talk with the goats.
As soon as I stepped out from under the bridge I hit my head real
hard. So hard, it shook the bridge! Before I knew it that goat fell
from the bridge and died. Well of course I felt terrible, but it was
an accident. I couldn't just let that goat lie there. It would be
mean to eat him, but I was ever so very hungry. He was dead already,
so I ate him. Yum Yum! Much better than grass, that's for sure.
So there I was, just helping out a friend, when another goat
started to yell and scream at me. He thought I had killed his brother!
Well, I was about to go straighten things out with him when my
allergies started acting up. I sneezed and blew the little goat
right off the bridge! Well this goat, too, fell to his death.
Well it would have been cruel to leave him there to rot and be eaten
by those disgusting little bugs. So I really had no choice but to
eat him. Now I was really full. I had eaten two big fat goats,
and I must say they were awfully good.
Well, just about 10 seconds later, I heard the third goat yellin
at me! He was stompin' and kickin' on my poor little bridge like you
never saw. Before either of us knew what was happening, the bridge
snapped in two. Well, he fell in the water, and found out the hard
way that goats sure can't swim. Now I felt real bad, but he brought
this on himself, and there really wasn't anything I could've done.
So I ate him. Then I went and took a nap under the remains of my
bridge. That my friends, is the true story of Billy Goat's Gruff.