By Onua
Rating: PG
Genre: Humor, it-will-never-happen
A/N: Okay, since we all know Owen's one of my favorite characters, I've decided to do a little tribute to him and the internet. What's the little page going to do when he discovers the internet? We'll find out…* evil laughter *
Owen got back from the study group, and logged on quickly. He had found out how to do so from Neal, and was greatful for learning how. Now, all he had to do was click the little button that said 'Log on to MSN'.
"Just jolly," he muttered, watching the slow dial-up connection work. It was only at 50,000K per second, and that was slow. He didn't know that, though.
Owen quickly found a button on the first 'website,' (or so Neal had said), that said 'Free Hotmail Services'. He signed up, but was confused when it said 'last name.' Where was the fief selection? He decided to put his fief there, and pushed the 'submit' button.
"Now where to?" he questioned the computer. As if an answer, it directed him to his inbox.
"Jolly!" he exclaimed, seeing he had gotten and 'email.' It was from Hotmail Member Services.
Dear Owen Jesslaw, Welcome to the Hotmail e-mail service!
It continued with some random links, one of which Owen clicked.
"NeoPets.Com, hmmm," he muttered to himself. He signed up for an account there, and was known as 'battles_r_jolly'. He searched for usernames he thought that his friends might use, and found a surprising number of Keladry's, Kel's, Mindelan's, Nealan's, and Owen's. That's why I couldn't get Owen_of_Jesslaw he thought to himself. Or JollyKid. They're all stalking us!
He went into the chat rooms, since he had experience with that. He clicked on one that said 'Anime Chat'. Not knowing what an anime was, he wanted to find out. Inside, he found a link to a Ranma website, so he went there.
"Jolly! Another website!" he told his computer, as if it could talk back.
The Ranma website wasn't all that impressive, but he did go to the links section. Now, Sailor Moon being one of his favorite cartoons, that was his first choice.
"I didn't know that Sailor Moon was an 'anime'," he mumbled, then figured out what an anime was. "Jolly! Anime is cool!" he opened his eyes really wide, so he looked like Andrew, the guy who works in the arcade.
Just then, Iden and Warric walked into his room.
"What're you doing with your eyes," one of them asked. (He still couldn't tell, after all these years with them!)
"I'm being an anime character! Try it," he urged them, and they did so, spreading a new fashion around the page's wing.
"Now, back to my internet," he said, turning back to his monitor. "Unjolly!" he exclaimed, seeing he had been sent a virus. It had eaten all of his data, (a picture of the Sailor Scouts), and was going to shut down his computer, in five, four, three…
"Nooooooooooooooo!" he screamed, as the scene turned slow-motion. He quickly tried the escape button, the three-fingered salute (CTRL+ALT+DELETE), and tried closing the window. It worked, and the timer stopped on .01 seconds left.
Owen sighed in relief, then his computer shut down. He cursed, using a few 'un-jollies' in there, and went to bed.
A/N: Maybe it was totally pathetic to you, but I think I liked it. It was different…and extremely weird. I hope you enjoyed it!
Disclaimer: No, I do * not * own Owen, Neal, Kel, Warric, Iden, or anyone else from the series. Tamora Pierce does. Oh, and I don't own NeoPets.Com, Hotmail, MSN, or the internet. (As far as you know, wink wink!) Oh, and I don't own Ranma or Sailor Moon; Rumiko Takahashi and Naoko Takeuchi, respectively, own them.