Duck Hunt
Disclaimer: I own jack, people. TPTB own their respective material.
Notes: Yes, I'm sick. I used to love this game…and this fic came to me really late at night. This wasn't beta read either and I haven't seen the show in a while, sorry. (Apologies: my temper's a little short due to the Oilers' crappy passing skills. Sorry, again.) Enjoy, all! :D
"Mallory! Is that you? Come here and check it out!"
Mallory, who had been trying to sneak past without being noticed, sighed in resignation. She turned to face Nosedive, who was sitting on the couch nearby. He was pointing a bright orange toy gun at the television screen and wearing a look of intense concentration. She couldn't see what he was playing from this angle and, knowing Nosedive, wasn't really sure if she wanted to.
"Mallory, you gotta see this! It is sooo cool!" Nosedive fired the gun again, emitting an obnoxious twanging click. The click was followed by an equally irritating electronic music sequence. "Man, I can't believe Phil was just gonna throw this thing out!"
Mallory went over to stand behind him…and stopped dead. "What is this?"
"Phil let me look through this box of junk he had, and I found an old Nintendo console and a couple of games. See, in this one the point is to shoot as many…"
"Ducks. You're shooting *ducks*, Nosedive."
"Well, yeah. You have to shoot a certain number of ducks to advance to the next level. The ducks are harder to get as the game progresses and…"
She tore her eyes away from the carnage onscreen. "Nosedive, what is wrong with you?!?"
"What? What did I do now?" Nosedive shot another bird. A cartoon dog poked its head up from the grass with the fallen waterfowl clutched in its evil murderous jaws.
Mallory marched over to the television and yanked out the Nintendo cord.
"Hey!" protested Nosedive.
"You're sick, boy." Mallory glared at him, twitching the cord in a small circle. "Didn't that seem wrong or repulsive to you, even a little bit?"
Her teammate snorted. "Come on, Mal. It isn't any worse than playing Doom or Quake or something. Actually, it's better. There's no blood and little violence in this game. What's the big deal?"
"It's wrong, okay?" Mallory was getting defensive; her tried, tested and true reaction to being uncertain. "Killing ducks for sport is just plain wrong."
Nosedive sighed. "If it means that much to you, I won't play it, okay? Besides, you erased my whole game."
She scrutinized him for a moment. He didn't blink. "Fine. Play something else," she said finally, and left the room.
After waiting for about five minutes, Nosedive cautiously turned the game back on. It hadn't even got past the title screen before Mallory stormed back in, removed the cartridge, and gave him a parting slap upside the head.
***
"Mmmm. Oh, man, that smells good." Mallory leaned against the kitchen doorframe and closed her eyes, inhaling the heady aroma wafting from a pot sitting on the stove. "What's cookin' there, Dive?"
Nosedive grinned evilly. "Duck soup."
"Ha ha ha. You're killing me."
"No joke, Mal." Nosedive ladled himself a bowl and sat down to eat. "Tanya went to get lunch and I asked her to pick me up some Chinese. All they had ready at the Peking Garden was some duck soup that got cold on the way here so…"
Mallory made an involuntary gagging noise and stumbled out, hand clapped over her mouth. Nosedive smirked.
Moments later Duke walked in the recently vacated door and stared at Nosedive's lunch in dismay. "Hey Dive, you left me some a' dat chicken noodle, right?"
The other grinned. "Help yourself. Mallory didn't seem to want any." The grin turned slowly into a snicker, which kept growing until Nosedive was laughing hard enough that tears streaked down his face.
"You are one twisted duck." Duke shook his head in amusement and dug in.