Pulp Tenchi-Episode One: Reservoir Ryo-oh-ki's
Written by Gabe Ricard
Based on an idea from Little Washu's "cute" homepage
Disclaimer: Tenchi characters do not belong to me so don't get your panties in a bunch and sue me…and while I have written this and have also came up with a few idea's in the story. The idea of combining Tenchi and Pulp Fiction as well as the basic plot was thought up by Little Washu's "cute" homepage which is one of the best Tenchi sites out there with a shrine to the best Tenchi character of them all. The sites fairly easy to find so go check it out. Read this first though…I'm now going to turn over the introduction to today's presenter: Little Washu!
(Washu sits at her computer, focused deeply on the work before her. Ryo-oh-ki sits fascinated on her shoulder. She hears a sound and turns around, her look of mild annoyance turning to surprise.)
Washu: Oh? Who are you? Guinea pigs perhaps? No? Oh…ah! You must be here for the debut of an all-new Adventures in time and space series in which any cast members from any of the three universes will be thrown into any number of bizzare alternate worlds, much like the three episodes from Tenchi Universe! Some of them are so incredibly weird you won't believe it! Today we open with episode one of Pulp Tenchi! And-
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
Washu: Oh yeah…I almost forgot…something else to remember is each series will run it's own number of episodes so in essence…Pulp Tenchi could run twenty episodes while the next universe could run three episodes or even one! Anyway, watch as Tenchi Masaki the young prodigy hitman for the Masaki family goes out on a job with his main babes, Aeka, and Ryoko! And be sure to watch for appearances from Sasami, Mihoshi, and yours truly.
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
Washu: Yes and you too Ryo-oh-ki. So sit back everyone and enjoy! And remember the author is a complete praise whore so be sure to let him know what you think.
Episode One: Reservoir Ryo-oh-ki's
"So you understand son?"
Tenchi stared across the table in the little restaurant at his father Nobuyuki whose face was shrouded in darkness. "Of course…I mean there's nothing really special about this particular hit is there?"
"More than you think Tenchi…Grandpa is very eager to get that briefcase back."
"Okay, okay. I'll head down to this address," Tenchi held up the slip of paper his father had given him moments ago, "With Aeka and Ryoko and have it back by dinner time."
Nobuyuki reached out and grabbed the sake cup, bringing it up to his lips and finishing it off, "And Tenchi?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop by Vincent Vega's store on the way there…you know what to get and how much."
"You need more?" asked Tenchi a sweat drop appearing on the right side of his head, "I just picked up a ton last weekend."
"I went through it faster then I thought…just get it. Tell Vincent you want the usual and he'll give you the package. Okay?"
"Okay dad…don't worry about it." Tenchi nodded, taking the last sip of his bowl of mesa soup and swiftly walking out of the restaurant right into the cruel, mid morning sun.
"Those two…are fighting…again," Tenchi lowered his head and sighed, "It's way too early for this kinda thing." He sighed again and walked over to Aeka and Ryoko who where standing on the sidewalk and seemed to be engaged in a very heated conversation. Ryo-oh-ki watched quietly from a mailbox. "What're you two arguing about now?"
Both girls suddenly ceased their arguing and stared at Tenchi. "Hello Tenchi. Did your meeting with father go well?"
Ryoko scoffed loud enough so that Tenchi and Aeka would turn around then rolled her eyes, "What…are you going to start kissing up to Tenchi already? And what's with this father thing? Since when did he become your father?"
Aeka's eyes began to twitch and grow large, "LISTEN YOU-"
Tenchi interrupted the battle by placing his hand between the two, "That's enough both of you…we have a job to do so let's get going." He looked up to Ryo-oh-ki, "Ready?"
"Meow!"
Tenchi smiled and reached over taking the cabbit in his hand and throwing it in the air. Within seconds, Ryo-oh-ki turned into a Ford Mustang and fell softly to the ground. Tenchi walked over to the drivers side and was about to get in but stopped and watched as Ryoko and Aeka began to argue once again. This time it was over who would get to sit in the front with Tenchi. Tenchi cleared his throat loudly to get their attention and when he had it, he informed them, much to Ryoko's anger that it was Aeka's turn to sit with him.
"This is so unfair," muttered Ryoko disappearing and reappearing in the back of the car. Aeka smiled and slid into the front relishing her victory.
"Those two," thought Tenchi opening the door and getting inside the car.
"So how was the trip to Jurai Aeka? You where gone a whole week and I think everyone in the family really missed you." Tenchi put his hands on the steering wheel and his feet on the brakes although this wasn't really necessary since Ryo-oh-ki was more than capable of steering itself.
"Not all of us," grumbled Ryoko before Aeka could reply to Tenchi's question.
Aeka ignored her, "It's a lot like here I guess. There are a few differences though."
"Oh? Like what?"
"Well you know how you can go to a Mcdonalds and get a cheeseburger?"
"They don't have Mcdonalds in Jurai?"
"Oh they do. They just don't call it Mcdonalds."
"What do they call it?"
"The Grand Burger Empire of Jurai."
"Your joking," said Ryoko.
"No…and they don't call a cheeseburger a cheeseburger either."
"What do they call it?" asked Tenchi.
"The Lighthawk with cheese."
Tenchi couldn't help but laugh, "Lighthawk with cheese…" he laughed again. He glanced out the window and stopped suddenly. He had almost driven past Vincent Vega's store. He turned the steering wheel slightly and Ryo-oh-ki understood and pulled up next to the store. Tenchi got out of the car and leaned into the window, "I'll be right back…you two behave."
"I will Tenchi!" smiled Ryoko; she looked over at Aeka as if she was an armed felon, "I'm just not sure about this girl over here."
"Ryoko! Why don't you just-" Tenchi did not allow her to finish and walked towards the convenience store.
"Hey Tenchi. What brings you here today?" Vincent looked up from the register. He looked oddly like someone from a movie Tenchi could never recall and had been around since the 70's.
"I'm here to pick up a package for my father."
"Another?" Vincent laughed and pulled out a cigarette from his jacket pocket, lighting it and taking a drag then offering one from the pack to Tenchi who politely declined. "You where just in here…what? Two weeks ago? Less then that. Your father goes through those things in half the time any normal human could."
"I know…I know." Tenchi produced three twenties and put them on the table. "Do you got one?"
"Of course," Vincent reached behind the counter and pulled out a box laying it on the table. He reached out and took the money slipping it into his jacket most likely where the cigarettes where.
"How many are there?"
"See for yourself…about the same as usual I would guess."
Tenchi opened the box and looked inside. There where about 30 exotic adult magazines inside. Some looked as if they where imported from different planets. "I guess…I got a job to do. So I'll see you later okay?"
"No problem…I hope your father enjoys the books."
"I'm sure he will," Tenchi stepped back outside and got in the car. Ryoko and Aeka where both silent and it was obvious their argument had reached a stalemate of some sort. Finally, when they began driving again Ryoko asked Tenchi which one of them he was taking out tonight. Tenchi felt pleased with himself when he silenced them both by saying they would flip for it later. A few minutes later, the car came to a stop in front of a modern looking apartment. Tenchi and the girls got out while Ryo-oh-ki remained in Mustang form. Tenchi adjusted his tie and walked over to the trunk of the car and popped it open. "We really should have brought shotguns," Tenchi slipped two 45's into his jacket.
"Why Tenchi?" asked Aeka, "How many people are up there?"
"Dad said there was like…three or four. Maybe even five." Tenchi reached up and shut the trunk.
Ryoko shook her head and pushed herself upward from the lamppost she was leaning on and followed Tenchi and Aeka into the apartment building, "We should have brought shotguns."
(Screen fades to black and reappears with Washu sitting with Ryo-oh-ki.)
Washu: What an opening! It looks like Tenchi, Ryoko and Aeka are getting ready to take out their job given to them by Nobuyuki. But what's going to happen next?
Ryo-oh-ki: meow!"
Washu: Neither do I Ryo-oh-ki
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow! Meow meoooww!"
Washu: Yes we all saw your part. You made a wonderful Ford Mustang
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
Washu: No, I don't know where I was in the story
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
Washu: or Sasami
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
Washu: and no I don't know where Mihoshi is. But don't worry, I'm sure they'll appear later in the series. Maybe even in the next one which should be written as soon as soon the lazy author finishes another ff7 fan fic and his Shawshank Redemption fan fic.
(There is a knock at the door)
Washu: Come in!
(Tenchi steps inside)
Tenchi: Hey Washu…who're these people?
Washu: It's not important. What do you want?
Tenchi: I just came to tell you that dinners ready. Are you coming?
Washu: Is it that late already? Well all right I'm on my way up but before I do…
(Pushes a button which causes several metal wires to shoot out and wrap around Tenchi holding him up several feet from the ground)
Washu: I've really been meaning to talk to you about that "last sample"
Tenchi: (eyes widen) now wait Little Washu! We really should go to dinner I-
(As Tenchi continues to struggle Ryo-oh-ki jumps in front of them)
Ryo-oh-ki: Meow!
End.
I know there isn't a whole lot of story here…it's really a teaser but I still felt there was enough her to justify calling it "episode one" thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you.