Authors Note:
Disclaimers:
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Chapter Two -- Nouri No Kaisen (Games of the Mind)
Tasuki awoke in the middle of the night, panting. He had the same dream again. Only this time, Lena was there. She, for some reason, was talking to Tamahome. Which had really hurt Tasuki, especially after that kiss they shared. And when he got hit by the lightning, he didn't wake up. Instead, he fell to the ground, in pain. He screamed out a certain four-letter curse word as he fell to the ground. The ground gave way and he fell... and when he landed, he was in his bed. He sat up, sweat pouring down his head. He lied back down, trying to get back to sleep, but he couldn't. He rolled around, pulled the sheets up over his head, and even tried counting sheep. Lena had, obviously, heard all the noise he was making and knocked on his door.
"Tasuki? Are you ok?" she said through the door.
"Hai. I'm fine. You can come in if you would like." Tasuki replied.
Lena opened the door and stepped in. Tasuki quickly lit a candle. The candle illuminated her beautiful face. Even thought her eyes were red, and a bit baggy, her face was still beautiful. He smiled.
"I could hear you rustling around. Is everything okay?" Lena asked.
"Yes.. just a dream keeping me up." He sighed.
"Want to tell me about it?" Lena offered.
"Sure." Tasuki said. Lena sat down beside him, on the bed. Tasuki explained his dream, just as he did with Chichiri.
"I've been having these dreams for a while now. Only tonight, you were in my dream. And, again, instead of talking to me, you talked to Tamahome. And this time, the dream was longer. Instead of waking up when I got hit by lightning, I fell. And when I landed, I was in my bed, panting, and sweating. Chichiri thinks I'm afraid of loosing all of my friends, and I guess I am." Tasuki explained to Lena. Lena listened intently, and nodded at all the right times. "She's so perfect." Tasuki thought to himself. "In every way." He added to his thoughts.
"Wow... pretty intense." Lena sighed.
"What's got you up this late. I thought women needed they're beauty sleep. Then again, you don't need any of that, you're already pretty as it is." Tasuki said, not really thinking about what he was saying.
Lena blushed, several shades of reds and pinks. "Well, thanks. But ..." She paused. "I guess you could say that my past is haunting me in a way." She said.
"Oh." Tasuki sighed. "Do you want to tell me about it?" He offered
"Well... no, not really. Not now anyway." She sighed.
"Oh all right." Tasuki said, with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
"I'm sorry. I just can't tell you right now." She said. "Anyway, I had best be going now..." She said standing up.
Tasuki nodded, and stood up. "I'll walk you to your room."
Lena nodded and smiled up at him. They walked out of Tasuki's room, to Lena's room. Lena smiled. "Goodnight." She stood on her toes and kissed him.
Tasuki kissed her back and smiled. "Goodnight." He watched her every movement. He stood there, moments after she had shut her door. His heart was pounding again. He sighed. "Dammit, Tasuki! Don't blow it!" he thought to himself. "She'll tell you when she's ready." He whispered under his breath as he walked back to his room. He laid back down on his bed, not ready to go back to sleep. He thought to himself for hours. He was still up when the sun started to come up, but he was slowly drifting off to sleep. He finally fell asleep, just before Chichiri came in to open the windows and let the fresh summer air in. Chichiri looked at him in his sleep. "Poor guy, doesn't get much sleep with those dreams plaguing him." He said under his breath. He left, silently.
It wasn't until after lunch Tasuki finally woke up. He stretched his arms out and yawned. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He got up out of bed and put his regular clothes on. His white shirt, tan pants, and his dark, midnight-blue, jacket, and his colorful beaded necklaces. He walked out onto the porch and breathed in the fresh afternoon air. He grinned, his fanged teeth poking out of the sides of his mouth. He walked into the dining room. Tamahome, Miaka, Chichiri, and Lena were already there.
"Ah! What's for breakfast?" Tasuki clapped his hands together, taking his seat.
"Breakfast?" Miaka said. "It's past lunch. We're just having a light snack." She said, looking at him weirdly.
Tasuki's mouth dropped. "NANI? Why the hell didn't anyone wake me up?" He yelled.
"I told them you need your sleep." Lena said.
"Why? I like eating..." he said, more calmly. He avoided eye contact with her.
"I'm sorry." She looked down at her lap.
"Its ok..." He said, looking down at his lap also.
"Hey, Miaka?" Tamahome whispered to Miaka. "What's up with them... they aren't looking anywhere except they're laps."
"Yea.. I know..." Miaka whispered back.
Tasuki crumpled his napkin, then uncrumpled it, trying to think of something to say.
"Tasuki. Daijoubo?" Chichiri asked.
"Hai... hai.... I just can't believe I slept this long." He lied. What was really on his mind was Lena. He was trying to think of something to say. Something clever, something smart, something... seductive. He quickly shook his head, wiping the thought away. He looked up across the table. Tamahome was staring at him, with a strange look on his face.
"Yes?" Tasuki asked, somewhat annoyed. They never got along. Ever since the day they had met, which was a very... sad, angry night. A night Tasuki would rather forget.
"Nothing... you just look.. dazed." Tamahome replied, shaking his head.
"Yea... whatever." Tasuki muttered. He stood up. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." He walked out, towards his room. He didn't go into his room, he walked right past it. He went to the pond. He looked into it. He saw his reflection. His unruly orange hair, his amber eyes, and his fanged teeth. He still didn't find himself worthy enough for Lena. He sighed, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he looked back into the pond. He saw his reflection, and Lena's reflection as well. She was sitting beside him, looking at his reflection.
"You are so beautiful." Lena sighed, looking at his amber eyes.
"You're the beautiful one." He responded. He didn't take compliments to well, especially from a girl.
Lena sighed. "Look at that reflection." She pointed at Tasuki. "That flaming hair, and those graceful amber eyes." She sighed again.
"But those soft emerald green eyes. And the jet-black hair, which falls so carelessly on your shoulders." Tasuki ran his fingers through her hair.
"Yes but look at that slender, but muscular body of yours." She ran her hand across his stomach.
Tasuki felt him self harden at the touch of her fingers. He inhaled deeply, thinking of some sort of response. Instead, he picked her up, cradling her in his arms. He carried her back to his room. He laid her on his bed. She smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed her lips. He felt her kiss him back. He gently parted her lips. He felt her tongue up against his. He slowly untied the waistband to the kimono she was wearing, still kissing her. The kimono robe slipped open delicately. Lena was slowly pulling the coat he wore off his shoulders. She played with the buttons and pulled his shirt off. Tasuki moaned softly in his throat, still embraced in the kiss with Lena. He ran his hand across her chest. He could feel Lena's heart beat. It was as fast as his was beating. Lena started pulling at the waist of his pants. She pulled them down, past his knees. Lena could see how hard he was. She kissed him even deeper and ran her hand over it. Tasuki moaned again, this time louder. "Lena... I... Love... You." Tasuki panted between kisses.
When Lena heard this she quickly stood up, blushed. She grabbed her kimono and put it on carelessly. She tied the waistband over it. She quickly hurried out. She closed the door and paused a minute. "I love you too, my Tasuki. I just... can't tell you." She whispered under her breath as she ran into her room, tears streaming down her face.
Tasuki looked at the closed door. He sighed. "I told you, dammit. You'd blow it." He thought to himself. "K'so..." He murmured lightly.
***
The next day, Tasuki refused to leave his room. He was distraught by what had happened the night before. He had confessed his love, to the only person he loved in his life. And she didn't even feel the same in return. She had teased him. Lead him on. Made him believe. Believe in what he never believed in before. Love. She made him think it was real. And now, it was shattered. Shattered by the simple movement of getting up. An unusual wetness was on Tasuki's face. "Don't be a pussy. Boys don't cry." He told him self, drying his face.
The rest of the day he thought to him self. When Chichiri came by to check on him, he told him he had been up all night, and couldn't sleep. Which was true... but for another reason than what Chichiri thought. Tasuki lied there, for hours on end, letting the tears fall from his eyes. He didn't care anymore. He had lost what had meant the most to him. His Lena. His koi. He sighed. Then, the conversation between him and Chichiri crept back in his head. "Maybe you're afraid of loosing something." His voice echoed in his head. "Of course!" Tasuki exclaimed. "That's what he means! That's what the dreams mean!" He said to him self. He was happy he figured out what his dreams had meant, but the happiness lasted only for a moment. He remembered that he had lost Lena. He sighed.
"I have to face her." He said standing up. He walked out of his room into the dark night, and knocked on Lena's door.
"Yes?" And answer came back.
"May I come in?" Tasuki tried disguising his voice.
"Who is it?" Lena replied
"Of course." Tasuki thought. "Uhm... It's me Tasuki." He replied in his normal voice.
"Oh. Tasuki. Yes, you may come in." Lena replied shortly.
Tasuki opened the door and stepped in. He looked down. He had turned several shades of red. Lena had her back to him. She was curled into a tight ball.
"Lena, what happened last night? How come when I told you... that I loved you, you left?" Tasuki came right out and said it.
"I... It's nothing." She said.
"It is something, otherwise you wouldn't have ran away like that." Tasuki insisted, stepping closer to the bed.
"Tasuki... you wouldn't understand." Lena's voice cracked.
"I wouldn't understand what?" He asked.
"My life. What I've been through." Lena cried.
"Tell me." Tasuki said, sitting next to her on the bed.
"Back in Hokkan... there was a guy... Shin. He.. told me he loved me. And, I loved him back. Dearly. With all my heart. Only, one night... he... he.... he raped me!" She broke into tears. "That's why..." She sniffed, "I came here." She sobbed on Tasuki's shoulder. Tasuki wrapped his arms around her.
"Then he never truly loved you." Tasuki rocked her in his arms. Lena nodded, her head still buried in Tasuki's chest.
"But, I do love you. I really do." Lena sobbed. She clenched her hands tightly.
"It'll be alright. Just, don't think." Tasuki whispered delicately in her ear. "Not to night."
Lena nodded. She pulled away from Tasuki. "I'm going to try and sleep now."
"Yes.. I should too." Tasuki stood up, and headed for the door.
"No.. please, don't go. Stay here, with me." Lena said, reaching her arm out to Tasuki. Tasuki nodded and took her hand. He climbed into the bed with her and cuddled up to her. He ran his fingers through her hair. "I love you." He whispered in her ear. Lena didn't hear him though. She had drifted of into a peaceful sleep. Tasuki soon drifted into a peaceful sleep of his own. The first peaceful sleep he had had in months.
***
Well... what did you think. Chapter Two. ^-^ Please review the story... Oh, and don't worry... there's more to come!!! ^-^ Just hold on!!!
~~Sari