Apollo sighed. "Whatever you deem appropriate... I won't resist," he said solemnly. He stopped at the door as it opened and glanced back. "Just one question... the Klingon ships. Were they there because of the Romulans... or because of me?" Sam couldn't answer... he expression merely grew sadder. He bowed his head low. "I see..." His question answered but his curiosity far from satisfied, he left the yacht behind.
I've never seen him this way before. He looks so... defeated. The three of them escorted Apollo to his quarters, where he entered without a word. Sam and Circe returned to the bridge, yet when she approached the command seat, she found she couldn't sit in it. Sam felt she had already betrayed her husband enough as it was. To sit in his chair... even though there was a good possibility that it would no longer be his... would be even worse. Suddenly tired, she rested her head on the arm of the chair.
Scotty had been working at the engineering station. When he saw this, he came down and laid a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder. "There was nothin' ye could do, lass. When it all comes down to it, duty has to be done." She didn't respond, and when he saw his comfort wasn't having any effect. He solemnly returned to his post.
At the end of her shift, Sam went to their quarters. It was fairly dark inside... the fact that she saw no blue light meant at the very least that his eyes were closed. She checked their bedroom, but it was empty. He wouldn't violate his confinement, would he? As soon as she thought that, she kicked herself for not having as much faith in her husband as she should have. A little further checking revealed him to be in a small anteroom set off to the side of the bedroom. Normally, it would be the captain's office, but Apollo did all his work in his ready room. He had Vulcan lanterns burning, giving off the only light in the room. He was sitting cross-legged, meditating from the looks of it. She moved closer, and heard deep, steady breathing... only from knowing him as long as she had was she able to tell he wasn't meditating, but asleep.
At least he decided to keep himself in control, she thought. Then she caught a glint on one of the walls. She walked up to it, and gasped. Apollo's commbadge was embedded halfway in the bulkhead, where he had thrown it. Apparently he wasn't so successful at first. That only served to make her feel worse. Without taking anything off, save her boots, Sam laid down on the bed, staring at the commbadge sticking out of the wall, until the flickering reflection put her to sleep.
~ * ~
Two days later, the Highlander reached Starbase 172. During those two days, Apollo hadn't budged from his spot, hadn't said a word, hadn't given any sign that he was awake or asleep. When they finally reached the starbase, Sam came in, with Circe close behind her. "He's been this way ever since he was confined. He hasn't moved at all."
"Are you sure he's still alive?" Circe asked.
Sam nodded. "He's still alive." Tapping her head, she added, "I'd know if he died."
Circe nodded in understanding. She made her way past Apollo, and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "Admiral," she said softly, "it's time to go."
The flames in the lanterns suddenly dwindled to nothing. The light from them was replaced by the blue glow emanating from his vision. Slowly he stood, displaying no sign of any fatigue that would have occurred in a normal man who remained in the position he did, for as long as he did. Silently, Apollo moved out into the corridor, head bowed, hands clasped in front of him, as they escorted him to the transporter room.
When they appeared in the starbase's transporter room, Admiral Nechayev was waiting for them. "Why isn't he restrained?" she demanded. When no answer was immediate, she gestured for one of her guards to hand her a pair of manacles. She took them and started for Apollo, but was stopped cold when the two women moved around to stand in front of Apollo. They gave Nechayev icy glares. "The man has suffered enough," Sam said coldly, "why injure his dignity further?"
"Starfleet regulations..."
"To hell with Starfleet regulations," Sam shot back. "I'm warning you, Admiral, you take one more step toward him with those, and I'll give you something that will make Admiral Racer's punch seem like a love tap."
Nechayev was about to call Sam's threat when they heard from the doorway, "As you were, Admiral. I don't think we'll have any problems with Racer." They looked to see Fleet Admiral Paris standing there. "Hello Captain. I'm sorry this couldn't be under more pleasant circumstances."
"I understand, sir," Sam replied, taking the hand that Admiral Paris offered and shaking it.
He nodded. "Although we can do without the handcuffs, unfortunately Apollo will have to be kept in the brig pending the inquiry. That is unavoidable."
"I understand, sir," she said again.
He studied Apollo's pensive form as they moved out of the room, and remarked, "I understand Admiral Racer uses Vulcan meditation techniques to maintain emotional control. Very impressive for a non-Vulcan." He glanced at Nechayev and added, "Perhaps some of us would do well to follow his example." Nechayev glared, but said nothing.
~ * ~
Sam stood outside Apollo's cell, just gazing at him. His expression never wavered. "I saw the list of officers who were going to be on the board. Admiral Paris will be presiding, so at least Nechayev won't be able to turn this into a kangaroo trial. Admiral Ross is on it, too, as is an Admiral Stolar... since he's Vulcan that has to be a plus. The other two I haven't heard of, but I'm sure they'll treat you fairly."
She looked for any sign that he had heard her, and found none. "Your friends and crewmates are on your side, Apollo. I'm on your side. You know that. Regardless of who's at the hearing or not, we'll be rooting for you." Still nothing. Sam had to look away for a moment, and when she turned back, it was with a tear on her face. "Won't you talk to me anymore? Dammit, Apollo, I had my duty to do, same as you did. You didn't know until it was too late... you had the right reasons... you just took the wrong side. That happens sometimes, especially when you have a group as sneaky as Section 31. I know you don't like them, but you have to admit that this time they were right. But hey, you did stop the Romulans from escaping. The Founders somehow slipped from our grasp, but we have two full crews and two working warbirds. I doubt they'll allow us to study them before making gestures to get them back, but it's still quite a deed. I'm sure the board will take that into account."
She was getting tired of this silent treatment from him. "Okay... okay, fine. You shut me out. You can shut us all out. But I'm still going to be there for you. I'll be by your side, and if they kick you out, then dammit, I'll resign, because the only thing that matters to me is to be with you." She stood there for another minute or so, waiting, hoping he would say something. But he didn't, so she just hung her head and left the brig.
~ * ~
The court martial the next day was frantic. Both sides were arguing on the merits and demerits of the situation. Sam watched as words volleyed back and forth. Occasionally, she'd look at the panel. The officers were sitting there calmly watching the proceedings as testimonies and evidence were brought to bear. Theories were thrown around. Racer had gone mad from the responsibility of his rank and went on a rampage. Racer was secretly working for Starfleet to uncover a scheme to infiltrate Starfleet with changelings. Racer was working against Starfleet to try and form his own ragtag fleet, starting with the Romulan warbirds. Some of them were plausible, others were ludicrous. Nechayev looked as though she wanted to throw her own two cents' worth in. Something told Sam that if she could, there would be no hope.
Through it all, Apollo sat at the defense table... he seemed completely indifferent to it all. Apparently, the officer assigned to defend him was having as much luck to get him to talk as Sam had the day before. She half-hoped they would call for his testimony so he would finally say something in his defense. But it never got that far. The board announced that they've heard everything that needed to be said, and that they'd make their deliberation in the morning. Two security guards came and took Apollo out of the room. Everyone followed soon after.
Later that night, she was in the officer's lounge on the base. She stared at a half empty glass of Saurian brandy. The bottle, also half empty, sat next to it. Her head rested heavily on her hand, propped up by her elbow. A hand came to rest on her shoulder. "Lass, don't you know, you shouldn't be drinkin' alone?" Scotty sat down next to her, and set his own glass, and a bottle of scotch, on the table.
"He hates me, Scotty," she moaned, her speech a little slurred. "I can see it on his face. He hates me, and doesn't want anything else to do with me."
"Och, Sam! You know that's not true! You two share something that can never be torn apart no matter what happens. I'm sure he knows you're doin' all you can for him."
"But it doesn't feel like it's enough. I feel like such a traitor." She rested her head down in her arms.
He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You weren't no traitor to him, Sam. You were only doing what you had to do. He knows that." When he noticed she wasn't listening, he gripped her chin and held her head up to face him. "If he feels anyone betrayed him, it's Starfleet. The man has practically lived his life to everything he feels Starfleet stands for. Then this happens... Apollo found out that Starfleet is just like every other organization. I have to admit, I like the Starfleet I grew up with, too. But the things you and I grew up with just don't seem as important these days. They should, but they don't." He didn't seem to think he was getting through to her, so he tried a different tack. "Didn't he once say that Starfleet felt that maybe he could teach them again what it meant to be in Starfleet? Well, maybe this is just what they need to see how we used to operate, and that maybe we need to go back to that way of thinking again."
Sam sighed, hiccuping in the process. Then she said, "Or maybe they'll just throw the book at him, an' I'll never see him again."
Scotty shook his head. "Ah, lass. I don't think they could do that if they tried. He'll be fine. You just wait and see."
~ * ~
Sam couldn't make the trial the next morning, which was just as well. Circe told her that someone had come forth to speak on Apollo's behalf. That person had spoken and left before Circe herself could make the hearing, but she did say it caused the board to postpone the deliberations. Sam simply told her to inform her when they reconvene, and she went back to sleep.
Four hours later, the comm chimed again. She reached out, and after a couple of futile attempts, managed to slap the control. "Racer here, go ahead."
"Captain," Circe said, "the board is returning."
Sam's head jerked up. "I'll be right there. Racer out." She immediately fell out of bed, stumbled to her feet, and got dressed. Double-checking to make sure everything was straight, she rushed out the door and headed for the transporter room. She returned to the starbase and reached the courtroom.
Circe was waiting for her outside. "I didn't make it in time either, and they wouldn't open the doors for me."
Sam nodded. "Do you know who showed up to testify?"
"Well, it wasn't so much a testimony." At Sam's puzzled look, Circe said, "Captain Picard showed up."
"Picard? Jean-Luc Picard?? Isn't he an admiral yet?"
"HA! They should be so lucky. He's another die hard starship captain."
Before they could say anything further, the doors opened. People started flowing out. Finally Apollo emerged, and Sam noticed that while he still wore his commbadge, his rank insignia was gone. She also couldn't tell a thing from his expression about what happened. He stopped long enough to register the two women. "Be ready to leave," he said to Circe. "We depart in six hours." Then he continued on his way.
Sam started to go after him, but was shouldered aside by Nechayev. The admiral didn't even look back. She simply rounded a corner and walked away... she did not look happy.
Then Admiral Paris appeared. "Admiral, what happened?" Sam asked.
Paris smiled. "Your husband has some good friends. He may have gotten worse than what he did if Picard hadn't shown up." At a questioning look from Sam, he continued, "Let's just say he reminded us what Starfleet's overall purpose is, and that as high-handed as we can be, we're not infallible."
Sam was trying very hard to bounce in place. "Admiral, what did you decide?"
"Well, obviously, this is going to go against Racer's permanent record." He smiled, "He's been reduced in rank. He still commands the Highlander, and he's restricted from participating in away missions for six months. Now, ummm... a ship can only have one captain. We can give you your own command, if that's what you want."
Sam didn't even hesitate. "Are you kidding, sir? All due respect, a command is nice. But my husband and I are a package deal. Where he goes, I go."
Paris smiled at that... he clearly saw something more than loyalty working there. "Are you sure you won't mind a reduction in rank? I mean, it almost seems like you'd be getting punished too."
Sam beamed. "Believe me, sir, as long as I'm with Apollo, it's no punishment."
He chuckled. "I understand. He's a fine man, no matter what everyone says." More chuckles. "Very well. Carry on, Commander."
"Aye, sir." As she watched him walk off, Circe came up behind her. "Well, it seems like there's only one more thing left to do."
"Yeah," Sam said, her smile shrinking a little, "one more thing."
~ * ~
She entered their quarters. Unlike before, it was brightly lit. She saw Apollo and slowly approached him. He was standing in front of the dresser... she could see the four pips on the collar in his reflection. "Apollo?"
He turned. She could instantly tell he was feeling a bit uncomfortable. It was the same way she felt. "Apollo, I..."
"Sam, I..."
They chuckled nervously. "You go..." they said, in unison again. Sam looked at the floor.
"Sam, I want to apologize," he blurted, taking the initiative. "I shouldn't have shut you out. I know you and the crew were only doing what you had to do. Even then, you were supportive of me. I didn't see that... and I'm sorry."
She started to choke up, but fought it back. "Oh, Apollo. I've seen all too many times how you bent the rules when you had to, to stand up for what you believed in. I had several chances to do that, and I didn't. I let Nechayev get under my skin, and I should have listened to you over her. I'm so sorry." She took a step towards him. He held his arms out, and she went to him, glomping onto him.
After holding the embrace for a moment or two, Apollo said, "Well... I guess... now that I'm a captain again..." he paused, trying to find the words. "The Endymion is leaving in a day or so. I'm sure her crew will be loyal to you. Maybe when she and the Highlander are in the same sector, we can..." Sam smiled, and Apollo stopped, stunned, as she reached up, removed one of her pips and set it on the dresser. "Sam... oh, Sam, you didn't..."
She returned to his arms. "I told you before, silly, what matters is that I'm with you. Everything else is secondary."
"But Sam, your career..."
"...is worth nothing if I can't spend it with you." She moved forward, a determined look on her face, and backed him in a dresser. "Now you listen to me, mister... years ago, when we first joined up, Starfleet separated us, and they were the worst years of my life. I've never felt fulfilled unless I was there with you. I told Admiral Paris that where you go, I go. If they had drummed you out, I was going to resign. Since they merely demoted you, I took a step down, too. I'm not going to lose you again, Apollo." Her eyes teared up as she embraced him.
Now it was Apollo's turn to be choked up. He looked away, then down at Sam, but he didn't know what to say. "I..."
She interrupted him off by pressing her lips into his. It was a fierce kiss, full of passion, every bit an indication to how she felt. When she finally let up, she glared at him. "Please don't try to explain or analyze or rationalize anything. Just... shut up."
He stood there, his mouth opening and closing, as though torn between whether or not to say something. Finally she reached up, placed her hand on his chin and gently closed his mouth. Her expression softened and they remained as they were, simply gazing at each other.
~ * ~
Apollo entered the bridge. Nothing had changed. Each station was still in the same place it had been before. The sounds weren't any different. The imperceptible thrum he could detect of the ship's powerful engines was the same. But his perception of everything had changed. It was a very subtle change, and Apollo couldn't put a finger on it until Circe spoke. "Captain, Starbase 172 has given us clearance to depart." It took him a second to realize it was him she was talking to and not Sam.
As he headed down the steps, Sam smiled and switched seats with him. "She's all yours, Captain," she said.
That's what felt different. He never realized how much responsibility was resting on his shoulders until now. That's what had been bothering him before this whole thing began. He was being weighed down so much with that extra rank that he couldn't enjoy what he loved the most. "Signal our thanks, Commander. Lieutenant Tovas, let's leave orbit at one-half impulse."
"Aye, sir." The planet on which Starbase 172 resided slipped from view, and the Highlander was under way.