Love for a sister
I sit here, staring at you. You're only the most
beautiful thing I have ever seen. So strong in these times of darkness, and yet
there you are. Lying in your bed, dreaming sweet dreams I don't play a role in
anymore.
Your adoration of me has changed. You no longer adore
me, instead, you kiss the ground on which my best friend walks.
I don't hate him for that, for I know that she can
never have him. She wouldn't be happy with him, I know it. I am the only one
she could talk to when it was dark and stormy outside. I was the only one to
comfort her when our parents weren't at home and lightning struck the trees
near our house. She still loves me, more like a brother than ever before. And I
love her like a sister.
Your red hair lays spread out on your pillow, long and
wavy. I touch it, it's soft and silky like angel's hair. I wish I had hair like
that. It's sacred ground. I hate to admit to myself that one day another hand
than mine's going to touch that beauty. But for the time being, it's mine, all
mine. I run my hand down your cheek. It's so smooth, no irregularities in
sight. Nothing that shows you're a 14-year-old and in the midst of puberty.
You're still as beautiful as you've always been and always will be.
Something has changed her, that faithful night in the
Chamber of Secrets. She seems so more grown up. It feels like she doesn't know
which side she should choose. In the Chamber something happened, something that
made her realize that life isn't all about love, but about hatred, rivalry
and power too. And that realization
made her cherish love even more.
I want to look in that pretty little head of yours.
Look what's inside, see what you're thinking of. But you're closing up, I can
feel it. Soon, I won't be able to sit here on the edge of your bed anymore, on
a starry night with the full moon shining high above us in the sky. Because
your room will be locked, like your heart and soul, and will only be opened for
the right person. And that person is now Harry Potter. My best friend. My rival
and therefore my enemy. After him, there will be so many others. Many others
who'll break your heart. But who will steal your biggest treasure, your
virginity? I can't stand the thought of another hand touching your fragile
body.
I hope it'll be nice, your first time. Mine was a
disaster. I happened very quick, too quick for me to understand what happened.
She only used my childish admiration for her own purposes and pleasure, and
left me. She left me to heal my open wounds, and then came back to rip them
open again and make them even deeper. I'm going to remember her name, and
she'll be on top of my hit list. Fleur Delacour. Her death will be even more painful
then the Cruciatus Curse. It wasn't smart of Moody to teach us those. Now that
I know the Unforgivable Curses, I'll use them for my own advantages and hunt
those I hate. And they'll suffer greatly.
My ideals will be known to the whole world. No one can
stop me from killing everyone who hates me. That'll be a lot. Voldemort started
it all. It's a good thing I'm not afraid to say his name any more. Not after I
made the biggest decision in my life. I entered his ranks, yet I haven't got
the Dark Mark yet. And I won't accept it either. I will delay it as long as
possible and then I will make sure he'll be gone and never come back. After
that, I'll have my own Dark Mark, and it will be feared more then Voldemort's.
The whole wizarding world will be afraid to speak my name, just like with him.
Sometimes I fear I'm going crazy. But I know I won't
as long as you'll live, dear Ginny of mine. You are my soul-keeper, protector
and holder of my soul. You're the one I show my true emotions to. I let you
share my hopes and my dreams, my fears and the things I am proud of. Harry
always gets all of the attention. Soon I will have that too. I'm lying dormant,
waiting for a good time to come out and rule the world. And then all my enemies
will turn into cowering, low-life scum, and I will kill them all. My reign of
terror will begin, and it'll be awful.
My love for you is as pure as your heart was when you
were born, although now it has been corrupted with what he's done to you. He
made you fall in love with you the first time you saw him. I can see in his
eyes that he finds it amusing that my little sister is so head over heels in
love with him.
His emerald green eyes, in which I can read the truth,
shine ever so bright. He knows what I want to do, yet he doesn't do anything
about it. He accepts my faults along with the things I excel in. My love and
friendship for him are greater then anything in the world. Even the universe
wouldn't be big enough to house my love for him. He doesn't love me back, and I
can see that he pities me for having such a big heart. I love so many people
with all my heart. That's my problem. I even love my enemies, I love them for
the things they have, and I hate them for the qualities they have and I don't.
Ruthlessness. Being able to really hate with all your might.
Harry. I want you, I need you, I can't live without
you. I can't live with you. You're so stubborn, so proud of yourself, and
you're always willing to help someone who needs it. You're so honest, sweet and
caring. I look at your soft, lush lips and I wish I could be the one kissing
them instead of Hermione. It breaks my heart every time I see her plundering
your lips and yet I keep loving both of you. My feelings towards Hermione are
the same as the feelings I have towards you, Harry.
Will she be able to understand these feelings? Will
she have them too, or is it just me who feels this? I can shove them away,
saying they're something that goes with puberty. But they won't. They'll change
into the love for a soul brother. And Hermione will always be out of my reach.
But you, Ginny, will always be ready for me. Always cherish my love for you and
hold it in the palm of your hand. You'll guard that piece of my soul I gave to
you and never let it go.
It's the love of a sister for a brother. Mine goes far
beyond that. You'll never know that in nights like this I long to be your
eternal lover, to make love to you and hear you moan my name in delight. That
never can be. It'll be only looks, but never touching, never experiencing what
I can give you. That's my curse, my curse for loving the most beautiful thing
God ever created and therefore I unpurified it.
I lay silently next to you. My last night close to
you. Your skin is soft and warm. Slowly you turn around, sliding your leg down
mine. I shiver, you snuggle up to my chest.
"You're cold, Ron," she says, with a dreamy voice.
"Yes, I guess I am."
"Promise me you'll never ever leave me. Love me beyond
death, please?" she says, looking closely into my eyes. I feel my heart of
stone melt into a golden one. Once again she made a miracle happen. No one can
stay cold-hearted with her around.
"I will, Ginny. I'll always love you. But only as a
brother," I say carefully.
"I'd never expect anything more," and once again she
snuggles up against me. Like I am the thing that keeps her alive.
Don't worry about anything on this world, Ginny. I'm
here and I will protect you. I'd die for you, I'd go to hell and back if you'd
want me too. As long as you love me. I need you.
A/N: well, that was something different. I've never
written anything slash-like before. If you're seriously disturbed by the slight
mention of incest in this story, don't bother to tell me because I don't care!
I'd love it if you review it. My ego needs some serious boosts!
