Bishônen Warriors
Some More Filler
Sugar Bear was humming to himself as he walked around the Fortress of
Cereals in his usual stoner way. As he raises the joint to his mouth, he
gets the sudden feeling that someone is watching him, and he hesitates. "Uh,
don't do drugs," he said before taking a drag.
However, our business is with Trix Rabbit. He was gleefully eyeing
his Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator. There was a rather disturbing
glint in his eye as he stared maniacally at his machine. "My greatest idea
yet!" he shouted.
Snap and Crackle, having failed to retrieve Pop after punting him
over the horizon, watched their boss with fear. "He's never acted this odd,"
Snap said.
"Yeah he has," Crackle countered. "He's obsessed with a kids'
cereal, and he took over the kingdom to get it. You don't call that acting
odd?"
"Odder than usual, then."
"I'll agree to that."
"What was that?" Trix Rabbit demanded, overhearing the hushed
conversation.
"You're getting fat!" Snap shouted before bolting down the hallway at
full tilt. Crackle soon followed.
Trix Rabbit scowled. "I'm cutting their paychecks for this week..."
He turned back to his machine and pressed the blue button on the side.
After loud clanking and other machine noises, followed by a burst of smoke,
the Monster-of-the-Week appeared. Trix Rabbit flipped through his "Complete
Moron's Guide to Monsters-of-the-Week" and found the name. "Longjohn Silver?
Cool!"
The breakfast pastry standing before Trix Rabbit was dressed in a
manner reminiscent of a pirate, complete with eye-patch, hook, and peg leg.
"Arr, matey!" he said. "Don't make me make ye walk the plank!"
Trix Rabbit raised an eyebrow and looked at his Monster-of-the-Week
dubiously. Longjohn drew his cutlass and pointed it at Rabbit, but Rabbit
had other plans. With a swift motion, Trix Rabbit slapped the monster across
the face. "Idiot, I want you to make the Bishônen Warriors to walk the
plank! Now go and kill, er... capture them all!"
"Aye, captain."
Longjohn Silver lumbered away, and Trix Rabbit started massaging his
temples. "I hope that my future Monsters-of-the-Week are a lot smarter than
him..."
"Shut up!" Shinzô shouted at Kurôbâ. "Stop saying crap like that about me!"
"Well it's true, isn't it?" Kurôbâ asked. "After all, that's the way
it seems in all super hero teams these days."
"No it's not!"
"Hey, will you two shut up?" Daiya demanded. "Umakutsu and I are
trying to play this video game here." He turned back to the screen and
started rapidly punching buttons on the controllers. "Ha, I win again!"
"Cheap moves!" Umakutsu declared. "I want a rematch!"
"Too bad, I play winner," Hoshi announced, snatching the controller.
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," Kurôbâ said with a wink.
"What?!" Shinzô exclaimed. "What secret are you talking about!?"
Ki walked in to find everyone arguing amongst themselves, and
immediately turned around to walk out when Kurôbâ grabbed him by the
shoulder. "Ki, tell me the honest truth--do you think Shinzô is gay?"
"Shut up, jerk!"
"You mean you aren't?" Ki asked. "I just always assumed..."
"What makes you think I'm gay?"
"Your hair is pink," Daiya said.
"Your armor is pink," Hoshi chipped in.
"I can't help that!" Shinzô declared. "It's not like I chose to have
pink hair!"
"And you're the only guy I know who has pink trim on his school
uniform," Kurôbâ said.
"Your room is painted pink, too," Ki said.
"And what about all those pictures of you wearing dresses as a
child?" Umakutsu asked.
Shinzô blushed and started pulling at his hair. "My parents wanted a
girl when I was born! They subjected me to that stuff when I was young! I
can't help that!" he shouted.
Umakutsu held up a picture of Shinzô wearing a pink frilly dress.
What made it worse was that it was obviously a very recent picture, taken
within the past few weeks. "Care to explain this, then?"
"He wants men, so he dresses up as a girl to make it seem more right
in some sick way," Daiya said.
Shinzô ran out of the room screaming, "I am not gay!"
As Hoshi looked at the picture, his eyes widened. "Hold on, that's
not a picture of Shinzô," he said, "that's a picture of your sister that
looks almost exactly like him!"
Umakutsu smiled. "I know; I just really like bothering Shinzô."
"I think we might have gone a little too far this time," Ki said.
"Nah," Daiya interjected.
"What if it turns out like the last time we did that to him?"
Umakutsu asked.
"What are the chances of that happening?" Kurôbâ argued. "After all,
I haven't seen any drains in the Land of Cereal."
Shinzô Tamashii wandered around the Land of Cereal, searching high and low
for a bottle of some caustic or poisonous substance with which to end his
life. However, this being the Land of Cereal, there was nothing but
sugar-coated happiness to be found. "Stupid jerks," he muttered. "Some
friends they are." He kicked a rock as hard as he could, and it sailed
through the air a good foot and a half. Infuriated, he picked up the rock
and threw it another five feet. "Grr, I'm not gay, and I'm not a wuss!"
"I'll disagree with that," said a voice from behind him.
Shinzô turned to see a rather beaten up Pop. "What was that, jerk?"
"I said I'll disagree with that. You may not be gay, but you're most
certainly a wuss."
"Hey, shut up! What do you know?"
"I know plenty, boy. After all, I've been around since long before
you were born."
"Of all the times your brothers' mallets would come in handy..."
Shinzô turned and started walking away. "Hey, where do you think
you're going?" Pop demanded.
"Somewhere where I won't be harassed by a stupid cereal sprite. I
get enough of that from my so-called friends."
"No, don't leave. At least you have friends."
Pop was about to continue when the Monster-of-the-Week made a
convenient entrance. "Arr, mateys!" Longjohn Silver shouted. "I here ta
make ye walk the plank!"
Shinzô started looking around. "Uh, I don't see a plank," he said.
"Then I'll send ye to Davey Jones' Locker!"
Shinzô pulled a locker from nowhere. Stamped on the top in big gold
letters was the name "Davey Jones." "No need, I already have it right here."
Longjohn Silver became infuriated and started waving his hook around
in the air in frustration. "Why ye scurvy scoundrel, I'll--!"
"You'll what, scare me with that plastic hook of yours?" As Longjohn
Silver started clawing at himself to search for a retort, Shinzô took the
initiative to transform. "Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Pink Hearts!"
There was a flash of pink light, and Shinzô Tamashii was replaced by
Pink Hearts, leader of the Bishônen Warriors. His Heart Bow and Arrow
appeared in his hands, and he took aim. "Land ho!" Longjohn Silver shouted.
"Shut up, jerk! I'll show you how super hero teams are nowadays!"
He fired the pink sugar arrow, hitting Longjohn Silver dead center. It fell
over and started writhing around to get back up. The bow disappeared, and
Pink Hearts held his hands together. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"
A pink heart shot from his hands and connected with the
Monster-of-the-Week, shattering on impact. Longjohn Silver screamed in pain
and exploded, sending pastry dough flying all over the place, and launching
Pop back to Trix Rabbit's palace. Pink Hearts face faulted. "That was
easier than the last monster!" he shouted. "Trix Rabbit must really suck at
making decent enemies for us to fight."
The other five Bishônen Warriors appeared. "Where's the monster?"
Blue Diamonds asked.
Pink Hearts pushed past him. "I already destroyed it."
"All by yourself?" Green Clovers asked.
"No, with the help of the tooth fairy, jerk. Of course by myself!"
Everyone started laughing, despite the fact that Pink Hearts had just
insulted them. "And the moral of the week is: don't accuse your friends of
being gay if they aren't, or they'll take all the credit for themselves and
insult you," Orange Stars said.
"No, this is a better one," Purple Horseshoes said, "don't waste your
time writing filler episodes, because there's no plot development, they're
just a waste of time, and they're always short."
"I'll agree to that!" Yellow Moons said.
Everyone continued to laugh stupidly as the credits started to roll.
Some More Filler
Sugar Bear was humming to himself as he walked around the Fortress of
Cereals in his usual stoner way. As he raises the joint to his mouth, he
gets the sudden feeling that someone is watching him, and he hesitates. "Uh,
don't do drugs," he said before taking a drag.
However, our business is with Trix Rabbit. He was gleefully eyeing
his Random Monster-of-the-Week Generator. There was a rather disturbing
glint in his eye as he stared maniacally at his machine. "My greatest idea
yet!" he shouted.
Snap and Crackle, having failed to retrieve Pop after punting him
over the horizon, watched their boss with fear. "He's never acted this odd,"
Snap said.
"Yeah he has," Crackle countered. "He's obsessed with a kids'
cereal, and he took over the kingdom to get it. You don't call that acting
odd?"
"Odder than usual, then."
"I'll agree to that."
"What was that?" Trix Rabbit demanded, overhearing the hushed
conversation.
"You're getting fat!" Snap shouted before bolting down the hallway at
full tilt. Crackle soon followed.
Trix Rabbit scowled. "I'm cutting their paychecks for this week..."
He turned back to his machine and pressed the blue button on the side.
After loud clanking and other machine noises, followed by a burst of smoke,
the Monster-of-the-Week appeared. Trix Rabbit flipped through his "Complete
Moron's Guide to Monsters-of-the-Week" and found the name. "Longjohn Silver?
Cool!"
The breakfast pastry standing before Trix Rabbit was dressed in a
manner reminiscent of a pirate, complete with eye-patch, hook, and peg leg.
"Arr, matey!" he said. "Don't make me make ye walk the plank!"
Trix Rabbit raised an eyebrow and looked at his Monster-of-the-Week
dubiously. Longjohn drew his cutlass and pointed it at Rabbit, but Rabbit
had other plans. With a swift motion, Trix Rabbit slapped the monster across
the face. "Idiot, I want you to make the Bishônen Warriors to walk the
plank! Now go and kill, er... capture them all!"
"Aye, captain."
Longjohn Silver lumbered away, and Trix Rabbit started massaging his
temples. "I hope that my future Monsters-of-the-Week are a lot smarter than
him..."
"Shut up!" Shinzô shouted at Kurôbâ. "Stop saying crap like that about me!"
"Well it's true, isn't it?" Kurôbâ asked. "After all, that's the way
it seems in all super hero teams these days."
"No it's not!"
"Hey, will you two shut up?" Daiya demanded. "Umakutsu and I are
trying to play this video game here." He turned back to the screen and
started rapidly punching buttons on the controllers. "Ha, I win again!"
"Cheap moves!" Umakutsu declared. "I want a rematch!"
"Too bad, I play winner," Hoshi announced, snatching the controller.
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," Kurôbâ said with a wink.
"What?!" Shinzô exclaimed. "What secret are you talking about!?"
Ki walked in to find everyone arguing amongst themselves, and
immediately turned around to walk out when Kurôbâ grabbed him by the
shoulder. "Ki, tell me the honest truth--do you think Shinzô is gay?"
"Shut up, jerk!"
"You mean you aren't?" Ki asked. "I just always assumed..."
"What makes you think I'm gay?"
"Your hair is pink," Daiya said.
"Your armor is pink," Hoshi chipped in.
"I can't help that!" Shinzô declared. "It's not like I chose to have
pink hair!"
"And you're the only guy I know who has pink trim on his school
uniform," Kurôbâ said.
"Your room is painted pink, too," Ki said.
"And what about all those pictures of you wearing dresses as a
child?" Umakutsu asked.
Shinzô blushed and started pulling at his hair. "My parents wanted a
girl when I was born! They subjected me to that stuff when I was young! I
can't help that!" he shouted.
Umakutsu held up a picture of Shinzô wearing a pink frilly dress.
What made it worse was that it was obviously a very recent picture, taken
within the past few weeks. "Care to explain this, then?"
"He wants men, so he dresses up as a girl to make it seem more right
in some sick way," Daiya said.
Shinzô ran out of the room screaming, "I am not gay!"
As Hoshi looked at the picture, his eyes widened. "Hold on, that's
not a picture of Shinzô," he said, "that's a picture of your sister that
looks almost exactly like him!"
Umakutsu smiled. "I know; I just really like bothering Shinzô."
"I think we might have gone a little too far this time," Ki said.
"Nah," Daiya interjected.
"What if it turns out like the last time we did that to him?"
Umakutsu asked.
"What are the chances of that happening?" Kurôbâ argued. "After all,
I haven't seen any drains in the Land of Cereal."
Shinzô Tamashii wandered around the Land of Cereal, searching high and low
for a bottle of some caustic or poisonous substance with which to end his
life. However, this being the Land of Cereal, there was nothing but
sugar-coated happiness to be found. "Stupid jerks," he muttered. "Some
friends they are." He kicked a rock as hard as he could, and it sailed
through the air a good foot and a half. Infuriated, he picked up the rock
and threw it another five feet. "Grr, I'm not gay, and I'm not a wuss!"
"I'll disagree with that," said a voice from behind him.
Shinzô turned to see a rather beaten up Pop. "What was that, jerk?"
"I said I'll disagree with that. You may not be gay, but you're most
certainly a wuss."
"Hey, shut up! What do you know?"
"I know plenty, boy. After all, I've been around since long before
you were born."
"Of all the times your brothers' mallets would come in handy..."
Shinzô turned and started walking away. "Hey, where do you think
you're going?" Pop demanded.
"Somewhere where I won't be harassed by a stupid cereal sprite. I
get enough of that from my so-called friends."
"No, don't leave. At least you have friends."
Pop was about to continue when the Monster-of-the-Week made a
convenient entrance. "Arr, mateys!" Longjohn Silver shouted. "I here ta
make ye walk the plank!"
Shinzô started looking around. "Uh, I don't see a plank," he said.
"Then I'll send ye to Davey Jones' Locker!"
Shinzô pulled a locker from nowhere. Stamped on the top in big gold
letters was the name "Davey Jones." "No need, I already have it right here."
Longjohn Silver became infuriated and started waving his hook around
in the air in frustration. "Why ye scurvy scoundrel, I'll--!"
"You'll what, scare me with that plastic hook of yours?" As Longjohn
Silver started clawing at himself to search for a retort, Shinzô took the
initiative to transform. "Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Pink Hearts!"
There was a flash of pink light, and Shinzô Tamashii was replaced by
Pink Hearts, leader of the Bishônen Warriors. His Heart Bow and Arrow
appeared in his hands, and he took aim. "Land ho!" Longjohn Silver shouted.
"Shut up, jerk! I'll show you how super hero teams are nowadays!"
He fired the pink sugar arrow, hitting Longjohn Silver dead center. It fell
over and started writhing around to get back up. The bow disappeared, and
Pink Hearts held his hands together. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"
A pink heart shot from his hands and connected with the
Monster-of-the-Week, shattering on impact. Longjohn Silver screamed in pain
and exploded, sending pastry dough flying all over the place, and launching
Pop back to Trix Rabbit's palace. Pink Hearts face faulted. "That was
easier than the last monster!" he shouted. "Trix Rabbit must really suck at
making decent enemies for us to fight."
The other five Bishônen Warriors appeared. "Where's the monster?"
Blue Diamonds asked.
Pink Hearts pushed past him. "I already destroyed it."
"All by yourself?" Green Clovers asked.
"No, with the help of the tooth fairy, jerk. Of course by myself!"
Everyone started laughing, despite the fact that Pink Hearts had just
insulted them. "And the moral of the week is: don't accuse your friends of
being gay if they aren't, or they'll take all the credit for themselves and
insult you," Orange Stars said.
"No, this is a better one," Purple Horseshoes said, "don't waste your
time writing filler episodes, because there's no plot development, they're
just a waste of time, and they're always short."
"I'll agree to that!" Yellow Moons said.
Everyone continued to laugh stupidly as the credits started to roll.