Let's state something right at the beginning. I do not believe in mythical creatures like the
Ellimist. He was a historical person, yes, but no being with special powers. Just an ancient
Andalite like all the rest. A great leader who had brought the people ahead, and a great person.
But now he's been resting in the good earth for many millions of years. (By the way, this good
earth is a pretty old-fashioned expression in itself, somewhat like the Hork-Bajir's Father Deep.)
I had heard the Ellimist since, but that doesn't prove anything. We had been out in open,
ice-cold space -- soon I would have seen a tail blade against my forehead, too. An oxygen-deprived
brain can cause such illusions.
And anyway, it was days after I could last trust my senses. Where would I be if I believed
everything brought to my mind these days? I don't believe it, and I pay Esplin back dearly for it
every single time. Let's just say I have my ways for that. It's all just mind games, nothing
more.
So it should be clear that where Crayak is concerned, I have enough mass-murderers on my mind
without believing in him as well. The same goes for the miserable Drode. And no matter how he is
turning, turning, turning the facts around, I do not believe in Tila Fashat's so-called spell,
either.
Yes, there is a trend. A very sad trend. And I don't know what causes it.
But this trend began at the Yeerks' very first attack. Where I had survived four people. Who
would have deserved life at least as much.
It was unfair. It was terrible. It was years before Tila Fashat even knew I existed.
So the recent events are not her doing, either. There had been an informed decision on the
yellow-haired being's part.
Because that being is real. It exists. I'm quite sure of that.
I don't know about the rest of the scene. But I don't think it was a nightmare. I've never
really had either nightmares or dreams, but nowadays I wouldn't even have time for them. I spend
three days on guard, three hours unconscious, and repeat.
And I don't think it was the result of Esplin's imagination, either. But not because he showed
the same disbelief -- and then terror -- as I felt. That could have been an elaborate act to make
it seem real to me. But I still don't think it was one of his fantasies -- it was much too tame
for that.
And of course, we hadn't crossed over into some parallel universe of mythological creatures. I
don't know what delusional mind could even *think* of such a place. It certainly cannot exist in
reality.
So I have truly no idea how Crayak, the Drode, the whole driftball field and all the other
illusions came to be there. But I know that the yellow-haired being was no illusion. It was a
real person, from ordinary, everyday life.
And it had made its decision on its own. An informed decision. The situation had been stated
clearly enough.
"...Visser One, I desire to test the strength of my new creation. You will fight. To the
death. If you win, Visser, Earth belongs to you. If my creature wins, you and your band of slugs
will leave this planet. Immediately."
I didn't know which would have been worse for Earth. I couldn't know the evilness of the "new
creation". But I knew the alternative quite well.
And I knew what would have been best for me, personally.
But I don't think the giant being would exactly have needed my help against Esplin. The power
relations were pretty evident to both of us. By then, I had already spent a long enough time
lying on my arms, on the wet floor.
But you know how Esplin is. Can't admit defeat. He still tried morphing -- first a Sumarin,
then a Lazhel. But no use: the yellow-haired one was better at morphing, too. It became something
that ate Lazhels. I don't know what in this galaxy eats Lazhels, but that creature managed to. I
wish it would have done it right then, when it still had its rage.
But Esplin demorphed, and escaped temporarily. But only temporarily, he saw it now. The
creature had become its giant, yellow-haired form again...
This is not a fair competition! This creature cannot be defeated!
No, it couldn't. It would still kill us. And, given the circumstances, I didn't think that was
the worst that could have happened.
Crayak! Surely you see that this is unjust. You can't mean for me to die like this!
It put one of its hands around my neck. This would be it.
"Finish it," I heard.
It would be over. And Earth would be free, at least of the Yeerks. This would be best, for
everyone.
Spare me!
The yellow-haired one opened its hand, but closed it again. It was clear what it would do.
Thank the good earth, at last.
Spare me, Crayak! I will carry out your orders. Give me the powers you have given this
creature, and I will do your bidding, whatever it is.
"Finish it. Hurry," was all I heard.
My daughters, Jahar...
But they, too, knew it would be better for me this way. They wouldn't need to grieve. And
they'd be so much safer than before...
Mercy. Please!
Iamtheservant ofthepeople...
"Finish it! What are you waiting for? Finish it or I will change you to a rat again and you
will lose everything! Do you hear me? Everything!"
The creature's grip tightened. It wouldn't be long now.
"Yes. Finish it. Free the earth from tyranny. And then..."
"No."
I dropped to the ground, air rushed into my lungs again. I lay there without moving, my hooves
four ways, my eyes fixed onto the giant. Waiting for another mythical being to break Tila's
spell. Break this insane trend.
"What are you doing?!"
"I'm one of the good guys."
This one of the good guys could easily have freed this planet. But evidently, its own precious
moral superiority mattered more to it.
"You are a fool! You are a coward. You are weak, sentimental, childish..."
Yes. Yes.
I'd known people who wouldn't kill potential hosts, or Controllers, or even Yeerks in their
natural form -- but us?! The Abomination?! What loss would the two of us have been?!
"...I have tried to help you free yourself from useless human emotions, but you choose
captivity instead."
Back on my hooves. Among the torture equipment. The visserial residence.
"Human emotions"? That creature had been some sort of a human?
Esplin was trying to sort himself out. To hope it had all been a nightmare.
He was also trying to fix the powerful giant's every detail in his mind. He enjoyed the idea
of such power. I think he was pretending to be the giant. He bent my arms and fingers in such a
strange way. Esplin likes to play pretend.
He was making other good use of our memories, too. Replaying them in my mind. He's got this
method where he doesn't have to feel them himself.
I saw Crayak's human for the second of what would probably be many times. I saw nothing I
hadn't seen before, but now I could pay better attention to the details. I wanted to know what
human it was that could have done this, and I could speculate to my hearts' content. Esplin
almost never reads my thoughts anymore -- he's no masochist, after all.
The giant was most likely female, you can tell that with humans by their silhouette. And the
most important clue was her yellow hair. In this part of the planet, not many humans have hair
that light. But there are still a few.
I looked for other clues. The female was taller than average. Her face was youthful, and she
had blue eyes...
The voluntary Taylor!
I don't know how she had come into a decision-making position. Maybe her Yeerk had completely
identified with her by now, or maybe she'd been freed some way. But this doesn't matter.
What matters is that Taylor had betrayed her people's freedom in order to keep her people's
appreciation.
Nothing special. She'd done it before.
So this is how it happened. And Tila Fashat had nothing at all to do with it.
But I think the Andalites would love her story, if they knew of it. It would give them the
perfect excuse for their cowardice. That they haven't been able to kill one visser for more than
three sevenyears.
Three sevenyears, and nothing's changed. They're all still waiting for someone else to do the
dirty work.
But unfortunately, I'm not available anymore.
Ellimist. He was a historical person, yes, but no being with special powers. Just an ancient
Andalite like all the rest. A great leader who had brought the people ahead, and a great person.
But now he's been resting in the good earth for many millions of years. (By the way, this good
earth is a pretty old-fashioned expression in itself, somewhat like the Hork-Bajir's Father Deep.)
I had heard the Ellimist since, but that doesn't prove anything. We had been out in open,
ice-cold space -- soon I would have seen a tail blade against my forehead, too. An oxygen-deprived
brain can cause such illusions.
And anyway, it was days after I could last trust my senses. Where would I be if I believed
everything brought to my mind these days? I don't believe it, and I pay Esplin back dearly for it
every single time. Let's just say I have my ways for that. It's all just mind games, nothing
more.
So it should be clear that where Crayak is concerned, I have enough mass-murderers on my mind
without believing in him as well. The same goes for the miserable Drode. And no matter how he is
turning, turning, turning the facts around, I do not believe in Tila Fashat's so-called spell,
either.
Yes, there is a trend. A very sad trend. And I don't know what causes it.
But this trend began at the Yeerks' very first attack. Where I had survived four people. Who
would have deserved life at least as much.
It was unfair. It was terrible. It was years before Tila Fashat even knew I existed.
So the recent events are not her doing, either. There had been an informed decision on the
yellow-haired being's part.
Because that being is real. It exists. I'm quite sure of that.
I don't know about the rest of the scene. But I don't think it was a nightmare. I've never
really had either nightmares or dreams, but nowadays I wouldn't even have time for them. I spend
three days on guard, three hours unconscious, and repeat.
And I don't think it was the result of Esplin's imagination, either. But not because he showed
the same disbelief -- and then terror -- as I felt. That could have been an elaborate act to make
it seem real to me. But I still don't think it was one of his fantasies -- it was much too tame
for that.
And of course, we hadn't crossed over into some parallel universe of mythological creatures. I
don't know what delusional mind could even *think* of such a place. It certainly cannot exist in
reality.
So I have truly no idea how Crayak, the Drode, the whole driftball field and all the other
illusions came to be there. But I know that the yellow-haired being was no illusion. It was a
real person, from ordinary, everyday life.
And it had made its decision on its own. An informed decision. The situation had been stated
clearly enough.
"...Visser One, I desire to test the strength of my new creation. You will fight. To the
death. If you win, Visser, Earth belongs to you. If my creature wins, you and your band of slugs
will leave this planet. Immediately."
I didn't know which would have been worse for Earth. I couldn't know the evilness of the "new
creation". But I knew the alternative quite well.
And I knew what would have been best for me, personally.
But I don't think the giant being would exactly have needed my help against Esplin. The power
relations were pretty evident to both of us. By then, I had already spent a long enough time
lying on my arms, on the wet floor.
But you know how Esplin is. Can't admit defeat. He still tried morphing -- first a Sumarin,
then a Lazhel. But no use: the yellow-haired one was better at morphing, too. It became something
that ate Lazhels. I don't know what in this galaxy eats Lazhels, but that creature managed to. I
wish it would have done it right then, when it still had its rage.
But Esplin demorphed, and escaped temporarily. But only temporarily, he saw it now. The
creature had become its giant, yellow-haired form again...
This is not a fair competition! This creature cannot be defeated!
No, it couldn't. It would still kill us. And, given the circumstances, I didn't think that was
the worst that could have happened.
Crayak! Surely you see that this is unjust. You can't mean for me to die like this!
It put one of its hands around my neck. This would be it.
"Finish it," I heard.
It would be over. And Earth would be free, at least of the Yeerks. This would be best, for
everyone.
Spare me!
The yellow-haired one opened its hand, but closed it again. It was clear what it would do.
Thank the good earth, at last.
Spare me, Crayak! I will carry out your orders. Give me the powers you have given this
creature, and I will do your bidding, whatever it is.
"Finish it. Hurry," was all I heard.
My daughters, Jahar...
But they, too, knew it would be better for me this way. They wouldn't need to grieve. And
they'd be so much safer than before...
Mercy. Please!
Iamtheservant ofthepeople...
"Finish it! What are you waiting for? Finish it or I will change you to a rat again and you
will lose everything! Do you hear me? Everything!"
The creature's grip tightened. It wouldn't be long now.
"Yes. Finish it. Free the earth from tyranny. And then..."
"No."
I dropped to the ground, air rushed into my lungs again. I lay there without moving, my hooves
four ways, my eyes fixed onto the giant. Waiting for another mythical being to break Tila's
spell. Break this insane trend.
"What are you doing?!"
"I'm one of the good guys."
This one of the good guys could easily have freed this planet. But evidently, its own precious
moral superiority mattered more to it.
"You are a fool! You are a coward. You are weak, sentimental, childish..."
Yes. Yes.
I'd known people who wouldn't kill potential hosts, or Controllers, or even Yeerks in their
natural form -- but us?! The Abomination?! What loss would the two of us have been?!
"...I have tried to help you free yourself from useless human emotions, but you choose
captivity instead."
Back on my hooves. Among the torture equipment. The visserial residence.
"Human emotions"? That creature had been some sort of a human?
Esplin was trying to sort himself out. To hope it had all been a nightmare.
He was also trying to fix the powerful giant's every detail in his mind. He enjoyed the idea
of such power. I think he was pretending to be the giant. He bent my arms and fingers in such a
strange way. Esplin likes to play pretend.
He was making other good use of our memories, too. Replaying them in my mind. He's got this
method where he doesn't have to feel them himself.
I saw Crayak's human for the second of what would probably be many times. I saw nothing I
hadn't seen before, but now I could pay better attention to the details. I wanted to know what
human it was that could have done this, and I could speculate to my hearts' content. Esplin
almost never reads my thoughts anymore -- he's no masochist, after all.
The giant was most likely female, you can tell that with humans by their silhouette. And the
most important clue was her yellow hair. In this part of the planet, not many humans have hair
that light. But there are still a few.
I looked for other clues. The female was taller than average. Her face was youthful, and she
had blue eyes...
The voluntary Taylor!
I don't know how she had come into a decision-making position. Maybe her Yeerk had completely
identified with her by now, or maybe she'd been freed some way. But this doesn't matter.
What matters is that Taylor had betrayed her people's freedom in order to keep her people's
appreciation.
Nothing special. She'd done it before.
So this is how it happened. And Tila Fashat had nothing at all to do with it.
But I think the Andalites would love her story, if they knew of it. It would give them the
perfect excuse for their cowardice. That they haven't been able to kill one visser for more than
three sevenyears.
Three sevenyears, and nothing's changed. They're all still waiting for someone else to do the
dirty work.
But unfortunately, I'm not available anymore.