Bishônen Warriors
Evil Bishônen?
"Oh yeah," Sugar Bear moaned as the syringe pierced his arm and he
injected the fluid into it. "Oh yeah."
"Sugar Bear, what are you doing?" Kurôbâ demanded.
All five Bishônen Warriors turned away from their Pioneer
Dreamstation and looked at the bear. He closed his bloodshot eyes and
ignored the question. "Ah, that's the stuff."
"Ignore him," Hoshi said as he turned back to the game and unpaused
it. "Haha, I'm winning!"
Trix Rabbit pounded his fist against the speakerphone on the arm of his
throne. "What the hell do you mean 'it violates the rules'?!" he demanded.
"Well," started the voice from the other end, "it is a Random
Monster-of-the-Week Generator. If you started planning what kind of monsters
you send out against your enemies, it violates the contract you signed when
you received our product. I'm sorry, but you just can't use it to generate
evil Bishônen Warriors, it wasn't meant for that."
"Well screw you, I'm evil, and I'm the king, so I'll do just whatever
the @#$%ing hell I want!" With that, Trix Rabbit smashed the speakerphone
into many smaller pieces. With an evil grin, he turned to his Random
Monster-of-the-Week Generator. "Yes, whatever I want. It's good to be
king."
He pressed the big brown button that said "Do not push," and the
generator started spewing smoke in all directions. Trix Rabbit entered
commands into the machines main monster-generating database, and with three
flashes of light, three teenagers were pulled into the Land of Cereals.
"What the hell just happened?" demanded the boy with golden hair.
"Where are we?" demanded the boy with hair that would give him the
nickname Rainbow Head.
"And who are you?" demanded the red-haired boy of Trix Rabbit.
"Welcome to the Land of Cereals," Trix Rabbit said. "I'm your new
master."
Evil laughter filled the palace, soon followed by the sound of three
fists smashing into a rabbit's skull. "We want answers!" shouted the
rainbow-headed boy.
"Fine. I'm Trix Rabbit, and I brought you here to the Land of
Cereals to become my evil Bishônen Warriors who shall bring victory into my
hands by destroying my enemies. Happy?"
"Much," the gold-haired boy said. "I am Tsubo Kinno."
"I am Niji Nozomi," the rainbow-headed boy said.
"And I'm Akai Kikyû," the red-haired boy said.
"I think this is going to develop into a beautiful master/servant
relationship," Trix Rabbit said with eerie glee. He pulled out three magic
bracers from beneath his cape. "I present you with the Bishô-bracers. Tsubo
Kinno, you will become Pots of Gold. Niji Nozomi, you will become Rainbows.
And Akai Kikyû, you will become Red Balloons. To transform, cry out 'Evil
Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call'."
Tsubo looked at his bracer and smiled evilly. "This could actually
be fun. Evil Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Pots of Gold!"
"And Rainbows!" Niji cried.
"And the Red Balloons!" Akai shouted.
With three flashes of light, the teens transformed into the Evil
Bishônen Warriors. From a far off corner, the very pissed Snap, Crackle, and
Pop watched everything that had transpired. "This isn't good," Snap said.
"Not in the least," Crackle agreed.
"We must do something," Pop said.
Snap and Crackle looked at their brother in surprise. "That's the
first intelligent thing you've said," Snap remarked.
"I'm not as stupid as you might think! When it comes to stuff like
this, I'm not going to take any crap, especially not from a bunch of teens
trying to outdo us!"
"Let's kill them," Crackle said.
"Yes, that's what we'll do," Snap said darkly. "We'll kill them..."
"Crap," Lucky muttered as he monitored his computers. "This can't be good in
the least bit."
"What is it?" Aoi asked as he conveniently walked in.
"My plot contrivance machine is detecting a rip in the dimensional
fabric between your world and this one."
"You mean that there's a chance for us to go home?"
"No, that can't happen until you destroy Trix Rabbit. And these
disturbances closed almost immediately after they opened. That can only mean
that Trix Rabbit has brought other people into this world to make evil
Bishônen Warriors."
"Wow, you can tell all of that with just one machine?"
Lucky smirked. "I did say it was a plot contrivance detector, didn't
I?" he asked smugly. "In any case, we must inform the others and take action
before they do."
The Fortress of Cereals rocked with a huge explosion. Lucky looked
into his monitor and saw the three Evil Bishônen attacking with their own
custom-made Bishô-Cycles. "Looks like we're too late," Aoi remarked. "I'll
go get the others."
As the Bishônen Warriors rushed out to face their adversaries, they were met
by a golden beam of light that was emitted from the opening of Pots of Gold's
pot. Sugar Bear immediately went back in when he discovered that it was not
the same kind of pot he thought it was. Rainbows jumped from his Bishô-Cycle
and sailed through the air at the Bishônen Warriors. He held one arm back in
a throwing position and shouted, "Rainbow Boomerang!"
The multicolored weapon appeared in his hand, and he sent it spinning
through the air at the teens below. Stars jumped aside and just barely
avoided being cut in half by the glowing boomerang. Clovers let loose with
his discus, and the green weapon cut through the air toward Red Balloons. He
pulled his Bishô-Cycle to the side and deflected the weapon with his newly
formed Red Balloons Shield. "Man, why did I get shafted for weapons?" he
demanded.
"Don't complain," Rainbows said, "at least your armor isn't too
conspicuous."
The Bishônen Warriors drew their weapons and engaged the enemy. The
Evil Bishônen held out their weapons and glared at the Bishônen Warriors.
"Why are you working for Trix Rabbit?" Horseshoes demanded.
"We prefer to fight for the winning side," Pots of Gold replied.
"Technically, we've beaten his sorry ass seven times already," Hearts
said.
"That doesn't mean he won't win in the end," Red Balloons said.
"He won't," Blue Moons said, "we'll make sure of that."
He rushed forward and started slashing at Rainbows, who defended with
his boomerang. While he was busy with Rainbows, the other two Evil Bishônen
attacked Blue Moons from behind. They slashed and banged him up into a
bloody pulp before throwing him to the feet of the other Bishônen Warriors.
"Who's next?" Pots asked.
"Attack together!" Hearts declared.
"What kind of men are you if you're taking orders from some fruit who
wears pink?" Rainbows asked.
Hearts aimed his bow and fired. Rainbows launched his boomerang and
cut the arrow in half. Hearts ducked the weapons and fired another pink bolt
at Red Balloons, who easily deflected with his shield. Horseshoes released a
burst of purple static from his horseshoe, but was cut short when the
boomerang hit him from behind.
Pots swung his pot wildly and deflected Stars' mace with blind luck.
His follow through hit Clovers in the back of the head. Pots shot his hand
into the air and closed his eyes. "Golden Munificence Surprise!" he shouted.
A ring of golden light spread from his body across the battlefield,
knocking out Hearts and Stars. The three Evil Bishônen surveyed their
victory with a dark glee. "Don't think you've won yet, dudes," Sugar Bear
said as he walked out onto the battlefield.
"And what do you think you can do?" Red Balloons demanded.
Sugar Bear thrust his hand forward. "Just watch," he said with a
stoned smile. "Oh yeah!"
A beam of golden light pierced the air and struck Pots of Gold in the
chest. He was thrown back and knocked out by the blast. Rainbows and Red
Balloons looked at the sky-high cartoon bear in amazement. The Bishônen
Warriors groaned and pushed themselves to their feet. "No, you can't win!"
Rainbows shouted. He thrust his hand forward. "Rainbow Light Purification!"
Rainbow light shot from his hand in a beam similar in shape to that
of Sugar Bear's. However, it missed its mark and found a target in the wall
separating Lucky's room from the outside. Yet another hole was blown in the
wall, and yet another priceless pair of boxers were ruined. Red Balloons
thrust both hands forward and concentrated his energy into a red ball that
formed before his hands.
"Balloon Grand Explosion!" he shouted.
The red energy ball exploded, knocked the Bishônen Warriors back, and
imbedded them into the fortress' wall. Sugar Bear, in his stoned state, was
completely knocked out. Pots of Gold stood up and shook his head. "Let's
kill them now," he said. "Let's pay them back for what they've done."
"Stop!" shouted a voice from behind them.
The three Evil Bishônen turned to see Snap, Crackle and Pop standing
behind them, electro-mallets in hand. "What do you want?" Rainbows demanded.
"You aren't killing anyone," Crackle said.
"In fact, you're going to be the ones who get killed," Pop added.
"We aren't going to waste our time dealing with competition when we can just
eliminate it right off."
"Trix Rabbit is going to kill you is you kill us," Pots pointed out.
Snap, Crackle and Pop stopped to think for a moment. "He's got a
point," Snap said.
"Do we really care, though?" Pop asked. "After all, those Bishônen
Warriors could end up killing us, too."
The three brothers advanced and raised the mallets above their heads.
"Don't worry, this will definitely hurt you more than it hurts us," Crackle
said.
"Stop right there, boys!" Trix Rabbit shouted as he appeared between
the Rice Crispies Bros. and the Evil Bishônen. "Can't you see that if you
work together, you can kill these stupid teens?" He pointed to the
immobilized Bishônen Warriors.
"We don't need them," Red Balloons said. "We're too powerful to have
to work with these rejects."
Snap's eyebrow started twitching. "You will work together, or you
will die. Is that understood?" The six warriors realized that Trix Rabbit
was dead serious, and they nodded in compliance with his order. "Good. Now
kill these brats."
Unfortunately, by that time, the Bishônen Warriors had at least freed
their arms from the brick wall. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"
"Starlight Dust Buster!"
"Horseshoe Kick Shock!"
"Clover Lucky Deluge!"
"Blue Moon Single Eclipse!"
The five blasts converged on the area where Trix Rabbit and his
minions were standing. The resulting explosion created a huge crater in the
ground. However, the silly rabbit had gotten away, and he had taken his
little subordinates with him. The Bishônen Warriors dropped down to the
ground and dusted off their armor.
"This isn't good," Stars said. "Just the fact that Trix Rabbit can
bring other people to this dimension is bad. He could amass an entire army
of powerful bishônen like those three. If that happens, we're dead."
"Then we need to get them on our side," Horseshoes said.
"Or we need to get more powerful," Blue Moons added.
"In either case," Hearts said, "we're going to have to take the
initiative in the next battle, because if we don't strike first, we're as
good as dead.
Realizing the gravity of the situation, no one laughed when Sugar
Bear's body crashed unceremoniously to the ground and he groaned, "Oh yeah."
Evil Bishônen?
"Oh yeah," Sugar Bear moaned as the syringe pierced his arm and he
injected the fluid into it. "Oh yeah."
"Sugar Bear, what are you doing?" Kurôbâ demanded.
All five Bishônen Warriors turned away from their Pioneer
Dreamstation and looked at the bear. He closed his bloodshot eyes and
ignored the question. "Ah, that's the stuff."
"Ignore him," Hoshi said as he turned back to the game and unpaused
it. "Haha, I'm winning!"
Trix Rabbit pounded his fist against the speakerphone on the arm of his
throne. "What the hell do you mean 'it violates the rules'?!" he demanded.
"Well," started the voice from the other end, "it is a Random
Monster-of-the-Week Generator. If you started planning what kind of monsters
you send out against your enemies, it violates the contract you signed when
you received our product. I'm sorry, but you just can't use it to generate
evil Bishônen Warriors, it wasn't meant for that."
"Well screw you, I'm evil, and I'm the king, so I'll do just whatever
the @#$%ing hell I want!" With that, Trix Rabbit smashed the speakerphone
into many smaller pieces. With an evil grin, he turned to his Random
Monster-of-the-Week Generator. "Yes, whatever I want. It's good to be
king."
He pressed the big brown button that said "Do not push," and the
generator started spewing smoke in all directions. Trix Rabbit entered
commands into the machines main monster-generating database, and with three
flashes of light, three teenagers were pulled into the Land of Cereals.
"What the hell just happened?" demanded the boy with golden hair.
"Where are we?" demanded the boy with hair that would give him the
nickname Rainbow Head.
"And who are you?" demanded the red-haired boy of Trix Rabbit.
"Welcome to the Land of Cereals," Trix Rabbit said. "I'm your new
master."
Evil laughter filled the palace, soon followed by the sound of three
fists smashing into a rabbit's skull. "We want answers!" shouted the
rainbow-headed boy.
"Fine. I'm Trix Rabbit, and I brought you here to the Land of
Cereals to become my evil Bishônen Warriors who shall bring victory into my
hands by destroying my enemies. Happy?"
"Much," the gold-haired boy said. "I am Tsubo Kinno."
"I am Niji Nozomi," the rainbow-headed boy said.
"And I'm Akai Kikyû," the red-haired boy said.
"I think this is going to develop into a beautiful master/servant
relationship," Trix Rabbit said with eerie glee. He pulled out three magic
bracers from beneath his cape. "I present you with the Bishô-bracers. Tsubo
Kinno, you will become Pots of Gold. Niji Nozomi, you will become Rainbows.
And Akai Kikyû, you will become Red Balloons. To transform, cry out 'Evil
Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call'."
Tsubo looked at his bracer and smiled evilly. "This could actually
be fun. Evil Bishônen Lucky Charms roll call! Pots of Gold!"
"And Rainbows!" Niji cried.
"And the Red Balloons!" Akai shouted.
With three flashes of light, the teens transformed into the Evil
Bishônen Warriors. From a far off corner, the very pissed Snap, Crackle, and
Pop watched everything that had transpired. "This isn't good," Snap said.
"Not in the least," Crackle agreed.
"We must do something," Pop said.
Snap and Crackle looked at their brother in surprise. "That's the
first intelligent thing you've said," Snap remarked.
"I'm not as stupid as you might think! When it comes to stuff like
this, I'm not going to take any crap, especially not from a bunch of teens
trying to outdo us!"
"Let's kill them," Crackle said.
"Yes, that's what we'll do," Snap said darkly. "We'll kill them..."
"Crap," Lucky muttered as he monitored his computers. "This can't be good in
the least bit."
"What is it?" Aoi asked as he conveniently walked in.
"My plot contrivance machine is detecting a rip in the dimensional
fabric between your world and this one."
"You mean that there's a chance for us to go home?"
"No, that can't happen until you destroy Trix Rabbit. And these
disturbances closed almost immediately after they opened. That can only mean
that Trix Rabbit has brought other people into this world to make evil
Bishônen Warriors."
"Wow, you can tell all of that with just one machine?"
Lucky smirked. "I did say it was a plot contrivance detector, didn't
I?" he asked smugly. "In any case, we must inform the others and take action
before they do."
The Fortress of Cereals rocked with a huge explosion. Lucky looked
into his monitor and saw the three Evil Bishônen attacking with their own
custom-made Bishô-Cycles. "Looks like we're too late," Aoi remarked. "I'll
go get the others."
As the Bishônen Warriors rushed out to face their adversaries, they were met
by a golden beam of light that was emitted from the opening of Pots of Gold's
pot. Sugar Bear immediately went back in when he discovered that it was not
the same kind of pot he thought it was. Rainbows jumped from his Bishô-Cycle
and sailed through the air at the Bishônen Warriors. He held one arm back in
a throwing position and shouted, "Rainbow Boomerang!"
The multicolored weapon appeared in his hand, and he sent it spinning
through the air at the teens below. Stars jumped aside and just barely
avoided being cut in half by the glowing boomerang. Clovers let loose with
his discus, and the green weapon cut through the air toward Red Balloons. He
pulled his Bishô-Cycle to the side and deflected the weapon with his newly
formed Red Balloons Shield. "Man, why did I get shafted for weapons?" he
demanded.
"Don't complain," Rainbows said, "at least your armor isn't too
conspicuous."
The Bishônen Warriors drew their weapons and engaged the enemy. The
Evil Bishônen held out their weapons and glared at the Bishônen Warriors.
"Why are you working for Trix Rabbit?" Horseshoes demanded.
"We prefer to fight for the winning side," Pots of Gold replied.
"Technically, we've beaten his sorry ass seven times already," Hearts
said.
"That doesn't mean he won't win in the end," Red Balloons said.
"He won't," Blue Moons said, "we'll make sure of that."
He rushed forward and started slashing at Rainbows, who defended with
his boomerang. While he was busy with Rainbows, the other two Evil Bishônen
attacked Blue Moons from behind. They slashed and banged him up into a
bloody pulp before throwing him to the feet of the other Bishônen Warriors.
"Who's next?" Pots asked.
"Attack together!" Hearts declared.
"What kind of men are you if you're taking orders from some fruit who
wears pink?" Rainbows asked.
Hearts aimed his bow and fired. Rainbows launched his boomerang and
cut the arrow in half. Hearts ducked the weapons and fired another pink bolt
at Red Balloons, who easily deflected with his shield. Horseshoes released a
burst of purple static from his horseshoe, but was cut short when the
boomerang hit him from behind.
Pots swung his pot wildly and deflected Stars' mace with blind luck.
His follow through hit Clovers in the back of the head. Pots shot his hand
into the air and closed his eyes. "Golden Munificence Surprise!" he shouted.
A ring of golden light spread from his body across the battlefield,
knocking out Hearts and Stars. The three Evil Bishônen surveyed their
victory with a dark glee. "Don't think you've won yet, dudes," Sugar Bear
said as he walked out onto the battlefield.
"And what do you think you can do?" Red Balloons demanded.
Sugar Bear thrust his hand forward. "Just watch," he said with a
stoned smile. "Oh yeah!"
A beam of golden light pierced the air and struck Pots of Gold in the
chest. He was thrown back and knocked out by the blast. Rainbows and Red
Balloons looked at the sky-high cartoon bear in amazement. The Bishônen
Warriors groaned and pushed themselves to their feet. "No, you can't win!"
Rainbows shouted. He thrust his hand forward. "Rainbow Light Purification!"
Rainbow light shot from his hand in a beam similar in shape to that
of Sugar Bear's. However, it missed its mark and found a target in the wall
separating Lucky's room from the outside. Yet another hole was blown in the
wall, and yet another priceless pair of boxers were ruined. Red Balloons
thrust both hands forward and concentrated his energy into a red ball that
formed before his hands.
"Balloon Grand Explosion!" he shouted.
The red energy ball exploded, knocked the Bishônen Warriors back, and
imbedded them into the fortress' wall. Sugar Bear, in his stoned state, was
completely knocked out. Pots of Gold stood up and shook his head. "Let's
kill them now," he said. "Let's pay them back for what they've done."
"Stop!" shouted a voice from behind them.
The three Evil Bishônen turned to see Snap, Crackle and Pop standing
behind them, electro-mallets in hand. "What do you want?" Rainbows demanded.
"You aren't killing anyone," Crackle said.
"In fact, you're going to be the ones who get killed," Pop added.
"We aren't going to waste our time dealing with competition when we can just
eliminate it right off."
"Trix Rabbit is going to kill you is you kill us," Pots pointed out.
Snap, Crackle and Pop stopped to think for a moment. "He's got a
point," Snap said.
"Do we really care, though?" Pop asked. "After all, those Bishônen
Warriors could end up killing us, too."
The three brothers advanced and raised the mallets above their heads.
"Don't worry, this will definitely hurt you more than it hurts us," Crackle
said.
"Stop right there, boys!" Trix Rabbit shouted as he appeared between
the Rice Crispies Bros. and the Evil Bishônen. "Can't you see that if you
work together, you can kill these stupid teens?" He pointed to the
immobilized Bishônen Warriors.
"We don't need them," Red Balloons said. "We're too powerful to have
to work with these rejects."
Snap's eyebrow started twitching. "You will work together, or you
will die. Is that understood?" The six warriors realized that Trix Rabbit
was dead serious, and they nodded in compliance with his order. "Good. Now
kill these brats."
Unfortunately, by that time, the Bishônen Warriors had at least freed
their arms from the brick wall. "Heart and Soul Shatter!"
"Starlight Dust Buster!"
"Horseshoe Kick Shock!"
"Clover Lucky Deluge!"
"Blue Moon Single Eclipse!"
The five blasts converged on the area where Trix Rabbit and his
minions were standing. The resulting explosion created a huge crater in the
ground. However, the silly rabbit had gotten away, and he had taken his
little subordinates with him. The Bishônen Warriors dropped down to the
ground and dusted off their armor.
"This isn't good," Stars said. "Just the fact that Trix Rabbit can
bring other people to this dimension is bad. He could amass an entire army
of powerful bishônen like those three. If that happens, we're dead."
"Then we need to get them on our side," Horseshoes said.
"Or we need to get more powerful," Blue Moons added.
"In either case," Hearts said, "we're going to have to take the
initiative in the next battle, because if we don't strike first, we're as
good as dead.
Realizing the gravity of the situation, no one laughed when Sugar
Bear's body crashed unceremoniously to the ground and he groaned, "Oh yeah."