Chapter V:
She-ar-ah lay on her bed; her pillow was soaked from her tears. 'Why did he have to come back so soon? I'm not ready to tell him.' She thought to herself. She curled herself into a ball, and continued to cry. She was afraid of what was going to happen, because of the incident with the sith blade, and now her miscarriage, she knew she would be banished. And now worst of all, she had to tell Obi Wan. As she continued to cry, she heard a soft knock at her door. Reluctantly she opened it. Obi Wan stood outside her door, with a look of great concern on his face. She turned away from him, so he wouldn't see her cry.
"She-ar-ah?" He asked as he took her hand.
"Just go away." She said in a whisper.
"Never my love." He turned her towards him, and whipped away a stray tear. "What happened?" He asked her, as he stroked her cheek. She looked into his eyes, and began to sob. He held her next to him tightly. She began to shake with emotion. "Shhhh." He tried to calm her. "Tell me please." His own tears were threatening to fall.
"I...I can't do it." She said between sobs.
"Do what?"
"I can't stay here any longer, I can't be a Jedi." She buried her face into his robe.
He cupped her face, and forced her to look at him. "Of course you can, you're so strong, and that's what I love about you."
"No, I can't do it anymore. A life without emotions is killing me." She ran a hand on his cheek.
Obi Wan hung his head, he was afraid of this. "Then we will leave together."
"No. I cannot ask that of you."
"You're not asking, I'm telling you." He kissed her lips. "I don't know what happened, but when I felt your pain, gods I hated myself for leaving you."
The two of them shared another kiss, and Obi Wan carried her to the bed. Once again the two of them made love, it was a more tender, gentler kind of love, this time it was full different emotions. Both cried in each other's arms. As they lay in bed together, Obi Wan laid his head on She-ar-ah's chest, and she ran her fingers through his spikey hair. Both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally She-ar-ah spoke.
"What about Qui Gon?" She asked him, worried about the answer.
Obi Wan rose out of bed, and put on his garments. "I'll find him right now, and tell him."
"Are you certain you want this?" She was worried that he didn't.
He kissed her one more time. "Only the sith themselves can keep me from marrying you. I will find him, and tell him, get your things and meet me on the hill behind the temple. At sundown, we will leave this place." She could sense the pain in his voice. He turned to leave, but remembered something. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small holovid. "Master Windu told me to give this to you." He put it in her hand, and gave her hand a kiss. "I'll see you at sundown."
"You promise?" She asked, looking into his eyes.
"With all my heart." With that he left the room.
She-ar-ah pulled on her robe, and looked at the holovid. 'What in the world?' She put it on her holovid player, as she gathered her belongings. As the tape started, Mace Windu's image appeared on the screen.
"Hello She-ar-ah, I'm sorry what happened with your child. I know the force has its reasons. A child is a special thing, that much is true..."
**
Obi Wan found his master near the council room, it was nearly sunset before he finally found him. This boy that he brought to the temple had preoccupied Qui Gon, the one he thought was the chosen one. Obi Wan wasn't sure about this boy, but was sure his master would get himself into trouble yet again. When Obi Wan approached him, he summed up all his confidence, and courage to do what he had to do. As he approached, Qui Gon smiled at his apprentice.
"How is she?" He asked, concerned.
"She'll be alright." Obi Wan said, as he fiddled with his robe.
"They're running tests on Anakin." Qui Gon said, proudly. And the two made their way onto the balcony.
"The boy will not pass the council's tests master, he's too old." Obi Wan protested to his master.
"Anakin will become a Jedi, I promise." Qui Gon answered with such confidence.
Obi Wan sighed. "Do not defy the council master, not again." He said. 'Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.' He thought to himself.
"I'll shall do what I must Obi Wan." Qui Gon simply stated.
Obi Wan shook his head; he was frustrated with his master. "If you would follow the code, you would be on the council; they will not go along with you this time."
Qui Gon put a reassuring hand on Obi Wan's shoulder. "You still have much to learn my young apprentice."
'Gods, not that again.'
"Something troubling you padawan?" Qui Gon changed the subject.
"Master, I have something I must tell you."
"Is it about you and She-ar-ah?" Qui Gon asked, turning Obi Wan to face him.
"Yes master, but how did you..."
"Your thoughts are dwelling on her." Qui Gon had a look of concern on his face. "What happened between the two of you?"
"We...we shared each other." Obi Wan blurted out, hoping Qui Gon didn't catch it. But judging from his silence, he did.
"Obi Wan."
"I'm sorry master, but I love her...I wish that I didn't, but I do." Tears came down Obi Wan's cheeks. Qui Gon drew him into a hug.
"What is it you plan to do?" Qui Gon asked as he held the boy.
"The honorable thing, I must leave the order." Obi Wan pulled away from the embrace.
"Padawan, you are willing to give up all of your training?"
"What else can I do? Master I'm so confused." Obi Wan looked at the traffic going by. "On one hand I love her more than anything, on the other hand all I've ever wanted to be was you master."
Qui Gon sighed. "That is why the code forbids love."
Obi Wan nodded, he now understood.
Behind them the council's aid cleared her throat. "The council is ready for you now."
Qui Gon turned to Obi Wan. "Come Obi Wan, your destiny lies here, and you know this."
Obi Wan looked at the darkening sky. "Yes master." He obediently followed his master back into the temple.
She-ar-ah lay on her bed; her pillow was soaked from her tears. 'Why did he have to come back so soon? I'm not ready to tell him.' She thought to herself. She curled herself into a ball, and continued to cry. She was afraid of what was going to happen, because of the incident with the sith blade, and now her miscarriage, she knew she would be banished. And now worst of all, she had to tell Obi Wan. As she continued to cry, she heard a soft knock at her door. Reluctantly she opened it. Obi Wan stood outside her door, with a look of great concern on his face. She turned away from him, so he wouldn't see her cry.
"She-ar-ah?" He asked as he took her hand.
"Just go away." She said in a whisper.
"Never my love." He turned her towards him, and whipped away a stray tear. "What happened?" He asked her, as he stroked her cheek. She looked into his eyes, and began to sob. He held her next to him tightly. She began to shake with emotion. "Shhhh." He tried to calm her. "Tell me please." His own tears were threatening to fall.
"I...I can't do it." She said between sobs.
"Do what?"
"I can't stay here any longer, I can't be a Jedi." She buried her face into his robe.
He cupped her face, and forced her to look at him. "Of course you can, you're so strong, and that's what I love about you."
"No, I can't do it anymore. A life without emotions is killing me." She ran a hand on his cheek.
Obi Wan hung his head, he was afraid of this. "Then we will leave together."
"No. I cannot ask that of you."
"You're not asking, I'm telling you." He kissed her lips. "I don't know what happened, but when I felt your pain, gods I hated myself for leaving you."
The two of them shared another kiss, and Obi Wan carried her to the bed. Once again the two of them made love, it was a more tender, gentler kind of love, this time it was full different emotions. Both cried in each other's arms. As they lay in bed together, Obi Wan laid his head on She-ar-ah's chest, and she ran her fingers through his spikey hair. Both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally She-ar-ah spoke.
"What about Qui Gon?" She asked him, worried about the answer.
Obi Wan rose out of bed, and put on his garments. "I'll find him right now, and tell him."
"Are you certain you want this?" She was worried that he didn't.
He kissed her one more time. "Only the sith themselves can keep me from marrying you. I will find him, and tell him, get your things and meet me on the hill behind the temple. At sundown, we will leave this place." She could sense the pain in his voice. He turned to leave, but remembered something. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small holovid. "Master Windu told me to give this to you." He put it in her hand, and gave her hand a kiss. "I'll see you at sundown."
"You promise?" She asked, looking into his eyes.
"With all my heart." With that he left the room.
She-ar-ah pulled on her robe, and looked at the holovid. 'What in the world?' She put it on her holovid player, as she gathered her belongings. As the tape started, Mace Windu's image appeared on the screen.
"Hello She-ar-ah, I'm sorry what happened with your child. I know the force has its reasons. A child is a special thing, that much is true..."
**
Obi Wan found his master near the council room, it was nearly sunset before he finally found him. This boy that he brought to the temple had preoccupied Qui Gon, the one he thought was the chosen one. Obi Wan wasn't sure about this boy, but was sure his master would get himself into trouble yet again. When Obi Wan approached him, he summed up all his confidence, and courage to do what he had to do. As he approached, Qui Gon smiled at his apprentice.
"How is she?" He asked, concerned.
"She'll be alright." Obi Wan said, as he fiddled with his robe.
"They're running tests on Anakin." Qui Gon said, proudly. And the two made their way onto the balcony.
"The boy will not pass the council's tests master, he's too old." Obi Wan protested to his master.
"Anakin will become a Jedi, I promise." Qui Gon answered with such confidence.
Obi Wan sighed. "Do not defy the council master, not again." He said. 'Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.' He thought to himself.
"I'll shall do what I must Obi Wan." Qui Gon simply stated.
Obi Wan shook his head; he was frustrated with his master. "If you would follow the code, you would be on the council; they will not go along with you this time."
Qui Gon put a reassuring hand on Obi Wan's shoulder. "You still have much to learn my young apprentice."
'Gods, not that again.'
"Something troubling you padawan?" Qui Gon changed the subject.
"Master, I have something I must tell you."
"Is it about you and She-ar-ah?" Qui Gon asked, turning Obi Wan to face him.
"Yes master, but how did you..."
"Your thoughts are dwelling on her." Qui Gon had a look of concern on his face. "What happened between the two of you?"
"We...we shared each other." Obi Wan blurted out, hoping Qui Gon didn't catch it. But judging from his silence, he did.
"Obi Wan."
"I'm sorry master, but I love her...I wish that I didn't, but I do." Tears came down Obi Wan's cheeks. Qui Gon drew him into a hug.
"What is it you plan to do?" Qui Gon asked as he held the boy.
"The honorable thing, I must leave the order." Obi Wan pulled away from the embrace.
"Padawan, you are willing to give up all of your training?"
"What else can I do? Master I'm so confused." Obi Wan looked at the traffic going by. "On one hand I love her more than anything, on the other hand all I've ever wanted to be was you master."
Qui Gon sighed. "That is why the code forbids love."
Obi Wan nodded, he now understood.
Behind them the council's aid cleared her throat. "The council is ready for you now."
Qui Gon turned to Obi Wan. "Come Obi Wan, your destiny lies here, and you know this."
Obi Wan looked at the darkening sky. "Yes master." He obediently followed his master back into the temple.