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~ I
Need You ~
Author: Cattie.
Rating: PG (Never
G!)
Chapters: 1 / 1?
Disclaimer: Oh whatever. I can't even bother writing something clever
here anyways, you all know what this bit is, and no-one reads it anyway!!
Authors Comments: I am on
holiday. Feel thankful that I actually got so bored that I wrote one of the
million fics that are swimming round in my head.
And feel thankful that I didn't inflict one
of my 7 short stories, or my 28 page novel for English upon your poor, tortured
souls. Tee-hee.
Oh, and I know this is kinda HYxRP, except
for the fact that Heero doesn't show up at all. Strange, ne?
Oh, oh, oh, and the song in this is 'I Need
You', by LeAnn Rimes, and it's from the 'Jesus' soundtrack... or something...
And I'm not a big LeAnn Rimes fan, (when her first song came out I hated her,
and every time she would come on TV I would call her a big-head, along with
other stuff, and change channels. I was soooo jealous back then!!), but alot of
her songs seem to fit Heero and Relena. So, along with 'Can't Fight...etc' and
'The Right Kind...etc', and this, there will be more LeAnn Rimes - HYxRP
songfics from me... blah...
And you know what??!! Putting this through
spell-checker after I finished it, it wanted to re-name Mariemeia
'Macromedia'!!! LoL.
Oh, and Plz review!! e-mail
me your comments!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I don't need a lot of
things
I can get by with nothing
Everyone always thinks of me as Vice Foreign Minister
Relena Darlian, or former queen of the world, Relena Peacecraft.
Am I so selfish to want someone to think of me as me?
Of all the blessings life can bring
Sure, I have everything anyone could ever want,
but still I'm not happy.
I've always needed something
Am I really that spoilt?
But I've got all I want
When it comes to loving you
Is it to much to ask to be loved?
Not adored, though. Love.
And not sibling caring. Love.
You're my only reason
You're my only truth
But there's only one person I love. And he will
never love me back.
I used to kid myself into thinking he actually
felt love for me, but that was just a childish hope.
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
Everyday, when I get up, I tell myself what I
have forced myself into believing. That he does not love me.
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
But my silly, childish heart still hangs on to
that one last thread, and at night it tortures me, whispers 'maybes' and 'if's'
to my helpless mind, bring him to light again, forcing me to relive every memory
I have ever had of him.
There's a freedom in your arms
The Beach, my school,
That carries me through
Every single time I saw the gundams battling, and
how I would gasp as Wing would appear on the screen,
I need you
And after the Mariemeia incident, when I held him
in my arms.
But that was years ago.
You're the hope that moves me
To courage again
He's the only reason I keep going though.
I once overheard Noin saying that.
Her exact words were 'You know she only fights in
that political battlefield for him, don't you. You know she only does it so he
doesn't need to fight anymore!'
She was wrong though.
You're the love that rescues me
When the cold winds, rage
Wrong to a certain degree.
I do keep going, so that he doesn't need to
fight. But that isn't all of it.
You see, I'm horribly spoilt and selfish, and
even though my head accepts Noin's reason for why I am still doing this, my
heart, and only my heart tells me the truth.
I do it so, maybe, just maybe, he would
eventually see me as strong enough, and love me.
Don't look so shocked, I told you I was selfish.
And it's so amazing
'Cause that's just how you are
He's so strong, why
can't I be like him?
And I can't turn back now
If I hadn't have walked home, that fateful day, I
could have had a husband, a peaceful home, maybe some children.
I wouldn't have to keep fighting this on-going
war of words, with egoistical old men, who think I'm nothing more than a silly
little airhead.
Maybe they're right.
'Cause you've brought me too far
But I can't have all of that now. Not now.
The war, the pilots, the gundams, the battles,
they've all dragged me down.
Down into reality. Not some spoiled little rich
girl existence.
Oh, if only I hadn't taken that route home. If only Darlian
hadn't saved me, if only I had never been a Peacecraft, if only I had taken the
car that day, if only...
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
But then I would never have met him. Never have
felt true love, even if it is un-requited.
I could never live without him, I would have an
empty shell of a life without him. Or even no life.
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
But I don't need him.
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
Morning is coming, So therefore I don't need him
anymore.
I can't need him, it's morning, time for work.
I need to forget him again
I need you
Oh yes I do
The young vice minister stands , abandoning
her crouched position at the edge of the cliff, finally noticing the stains and
rips that have adorned her smart business attire for hours, straightening her
honey colored hair which has been lashing wildly around her face, but still not
seeing the rivulets of now dried tears streaking her older, mature face.
I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
Honestly, I don't need him. I never have.
I need you like mercy
From heaven's gate
And I certainly don't love him.
There's a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I'm strong, I'll manage. After all, I'm Relena
Peacecraft, current Vice Foreign Minister, ex-Queen of the World.
Just because I come out here, at night, and cry,
with my only confidants being the impassive moon, a simple rock hung in the wide
expanse of space, and the twinkling, innocent stars. Most of those stars are
inhabited, but nobody there will care about the selfish musings of a spoilt
child. The spoilt child that maintains peace everyday, so they may live in
peace.
Maybe he's on one of those glittering orbs in
space... maybe he's thinking of me...
Maybe isn't good enough, Relena, wise up, don't
undo so many years of forgetting in just one night.
I don't need him.
I need you
She finishes dusting off her clothing and
hair, finally looking like the pristine young adult that graces meetings,
functions and anything else they need her for, every single day. The mask is
back in place.
And says to the moon, and stars...
'Thanks for listening, but just so you know, I
don't need him.
Oh yes I do
I need you
I need you
But then her heart whispers the last,
passing remark as she turns, leaves the dawning sun, the ever attentive moon and
blinking stars. It whispers the truth that her head has managed to block at all
points, except night.
'Oh Heero, I still need you...'
