Max was pulled gradually from sleep by the first rays of the sun's light filtering into the room through the blinds on the window. As the room brightened, the first thing he was immediately aware of was the soft, warm body in his arms; snuggled against him. Liz. Max's eyes flew open and he looked at her still form in near disbelief. Then everything came flooding back to him.
Max's chest seemed to constrict, and his heart appeared to be too big for it. He had to struggle to take his next breath. It was as if something inside of him had burst free and was soaring joyously. Liz…Liz was here, in his arms. They were together.
He closed his eyes for a moment and just felt. He felt the heat radiating from her body, he felt her hair cascading down his left arm, wrapped around her back. He felt the length of her body against his…each inch of her skin against his like fire. He felt her eyelashes blinking against his chest….wait.
Max pulled back slightly and looked down to find Liz's eyes open and trained on him. She seemed to be a little embarrassed at having been caught. "I was watching you sleep," she said, her voice low and soft. "I didn't want to wake you."
Max brought his hand up to brush her hair back from her face tenderly, and as he continued to look at her she admitted the rest. "And…I was trying to put off the whole morning thing." She tried a little smile as she said it, but it quickly failed as everything else came rushing back to them. The duplicates, Roswell, getting back to normal…not being together. Max felt the thing in his heart tumble from the sky and crash, as he realized it was over. It had to be. After this moment, he couldn't ever hold her again. Couldn't ever lie like this again with her in his arms. Couldn't kiss her, touch her; couldn't love her. "Liz…"
Liz touched his lips with her fingertips to stop his words, as she had done the night before. "Don't, Max." she whispered. "We both knew it would be like this." She removed her hand, and he stared at her silently, wishing with every fiber of his being that things were different. "We have to not be sad…we have to take last night with us. And remember it always."
Despite her brave words, her eyes filled with tears, and she looked down to keep him from seeing, and Max's heart broke. He lifted her head gently with a hand under her chin, and made her look into his eyes again. It was too much for her, and she sobbed. Desperately, Max crushed his lips to hers and pulled her to him as tightly as he could.
~*~*~*~*~
Isabel yawned delicately as she stretched in front of the main window of the Crashdown. She faced the empty street outside…all of the other businesses on the street closed on this early Saturday morning…and wondered where Lonnie and Rath were, and why they hadn't come for them during the night. It didn't make sense for them to wait until daylight to make their attack…it would have been far more efficient to use the darkness as their cover. Unless they still don't know where we are, she thought, which is entirely possible. None of us are officially connected to the Crashdown…it's only through Liz that we're able to be here.
As she thought of Liz, Isabel wondered how she and Max were doing, in Alamogordo, and hoped that Rath had at some point turned around and come back to Roswell. She hated to think of Max in that town alone, with no one else to help him should Rath attack.
No, not alone, she corrected herself. Liz is with him. You'd think after all she's done for us in the past I'd stop underestimating her. Only yesterday she saved my life.
Isabel's thoughts were interrupted by Tess entering the dining room. She had obviously just woken up, and was still in the clothes she'd slept in. The immaculate Isabel arched an eyebrow at Tess and the shorter girl grinned, reaching up to try to smooth down her tangled hair. "Michael's in the shower," she said. "I must wait to rejoin the civilized world."
Isabel smiled back. "Did you sleep well?"
"All four hours, you mean?" Tess quipped. "Actually, no. I've…been thinking about a lot of things."
"Like what?"
Tess pulled a chair away from one of the tables and set it next to the booth Isabel was occupying. She turned the chair around and straddled it, resting her chin on her hands on the chair back. "About this whole destiny thing, I guess. The last couple days have made me think that maybe…maybe I've been too close-minded about everything."
Surprise was evident on Isabel's face. "But you're the one who's always believed we should follow our destiny."
Tess nodded. "I know. And it always seemed right to me. But…somehow it doesn't, anymore. I mean…I'm starting to feel like I've been misled this whole time…like we're puppets. Following some great plan, designed by people we've never even met." Tess looked down at her hands, fiddling with a fray in the chair back. "And it's making people miserable."
Isabel observed Tess with guarded curiosity. Offhandedly she asked "Who's miserable?"
Tess smiled ruefully. "Come on, Isabel, I'd have to be deaf, blind, and stupid not to realize that Max is still head over heels for Liz."
Isabel saw that Tess didn't seem to be too bothered by her own admission. "And…you're okay with this?"
Tess's smile faded. "Well…no. And see, that's the thing." She looked square at Isabel. "I don't love Max. I…care about him, yes. I remember loving him, or at least thinking that I did. But I don't feel that way about him anymore. Which should be a good thing, for all else concerned. The thing is, I'm still a slave to this destiny thing." Tess's brow furrowed as she sought a way to convey what she was feeling. "I mean, I can recognize that this future isn't necessarily what I want anymore, but I feel almost powerless to change. I still feel the urge to follow it through. How can I change the way I've been programmed?"
Isabel smiled sympathetically. "It's a dilemma," she agreed. "It would've been really helpful if they'd included a handbook, huh?" They shared a laugh, and then Isabel sobered. "All I can tell you, Tess, is to look inside yourself for the answer…follow your heart."
Isabel turned to the window to resume her lookout, and the two girls shared a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts about the future, and destiny, and choices.
~*~*~*~*~
They spent the ride back to Roswell for the most part in silence. They were both wary and on the look-out for Rath's trans-am, and that worry helped to keep them focused on the problems at hand. It would be too easy otherwise to fall into despair at what they knew was going to have to happen upon their return. Max tried hard not to think about being separated from Liz once they got back to Roswell, and tried to remember he had everyone else to think about, as well. Protecting Isabel and Michael from Lonnie and Rath's rage, and stopping them from finding out where the granilith was. But he was all too aware of Liz's movements in the driver's seat beside him, and he couldn't get the feel of her skin against his out of his mind. The unbearable sweetness of their night together permeated him, and he wondered how he was ever supposed to move on from her now…now, when she occupied his every thought. Now, when he was more certain than ever that they belonged together.
When Liz turned off onto the exit to Roswell, the bit of conversation they'd been able to make lapsed abruptly into silence…neither one of them wanting to confront the inevitable. But they could no longer put it off when Liz pulled up across the street from the Crashdown. They could see the outline of Isabel in the window, keeping an eye on the street.
Putting the car in park, Liz started to shut off the ignition, then decided against it and her hand dropped back down into her lap. She found she couldn't turn to look at Max. Tears already threatened in her eyes. Everything would be different after this moment.
They sat there in silence for what seemed to be an eternity, neither one wanting to be the one to initiate their separation. Finally, Max spoke from the passenger seat. "We could…just keep going." he said.
"Max, don't…" Liz started.
"Just keep going…hit the next town. Leave this…"
"Max, stop." Liz said, still not looking at him. "You know we can't."
She spoke quietly, but Max silenced. She was right, and he knew it. In reality, he knew he'd never be able to leave Isabel and Michael behind anyway…or anyone else, for that matter. As much as he wanted to be with Liz, his sense of loyalty wouldn't let him abandon everyone else who depended on him. His words were more the result of desperation than the thoughts of a rational mind.
Liz fought to keep her emotions in check. "You'd…better go." she said, and she felt Max looking at her.
"You've always been so much stronger than me," he remarked. "When it comes to us…you've always been stronger."
Liz smiled faintly, finally looking at him. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. "No," she said softly. "In the end, when you had to…you were able to leave me." The tears in her own eyes finally spilled over, and she took his hand. "You're stronger than you think," she whispered. "And you can do it again now. Just…open the door, and leave."
Max took a shaky breath, and his right hand reached for the door handle. He hesitated, and there was a small, inarticulate cry from Liz, and he couldn't do it. He couldn't leave. His next conscious thought found Liz in his arms, and they were holding each other tightly. He captured her lips with his own, and Liz moaned softly into his mouth as they kissed hungrily...devouring one another. The agony grew between them with each stolen moment, and Liz's thoughts whirled around in his mind. God, I need you…killing me…you're killing me, Max…
He broke away from her, finally possessing the impetus to leave…if only to try and lessen her pain. He stared at his hand on the door handle. "You, Liz." he whispered fiercely. "It will always be you."
With that he yanked the handle up sharply, throwing the door open and bolting out before she could say another word.
Liz watched through her tears as he walked away from her, and was wracked with sobs. She fought to regain her control, and as he neared the Crashdown she put the car back in drive and started off toward the hospital. Still crying, she never looked back to see him enter the diner, or the black trans-am that eased around the corner and onto the street after them. It idled there until Liz's car took a right at the next light, and then it sped up, taking a left at the same light.
Entering the Crashdown, Max was met with a barrage of questions by a waiting Michael and Isabel. "Are you okay?" "Where's Liz going?" "Have you seen Rath since yesterday?"
"How do we know you're really you?"
The last came from Michael, and Max looked at him. "I'm me." he said.
"Oh yeah?" Michael said. "Then answer me this: what did I use to keep in your room?"
Max's expression didn't change. "A sleeping bag…for when you'd come over nights."
Isabel jumped in. "What's my favorite Foo Fighters song?"
Max raised an eyebrow. "Everlong."
"And my favorite shade of lipstick?"
Max was incredulous. "How am I supposed to know? Come on, guys…questions I can answer, maybe?"
Michael interjected again. "Who was my favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?" There was a beat as Max and Isabel turned to look at him as one, and then he hastily added "Never mind, don't answer that. Okay, you're you. What's going on?"
Max sighed wearily, and sank to a booth seat. "Long night?" Isabel asked.
Max tried to stop the flush that creeped over his face, but he knew it was apparent to the others. Isabel raised an eyebrow, and Michael smirked. "That good, huh?" he asked.
Avoiding the question, Max told them about how they'd lost Rath the night before, and hadn't seen him since. Michael told him that they hadn't seen anything from Lonnie since her attack at the apartment, and that Maria – last he'd heard – was still out. They were discussing possible plans of operation when they noticed Tess standing in the doorway to the dining room. It was the first time Max had seen her since learning the truth about Liz and Kyle, and he had to fight off an initial urge to be angry with her. It's not her fault, he reminded himself. She hasn't done anything yet in this timeline to deserve our anger. He also wondered how long she'd been standing there…long enough to come to her own conclusions about Max and Liz?
Tess came to a stop before Max's booth, looking him over and ascertaining for herself that he was okay. "Max, can I talk to you?" she asked.
Max looked up at her and saw Isabel nod to Michael out of the corner of his eye. The two left the dining room, heading either to the back or upstairs, leaving Max and Tess alone, and Tess slid into the booth opposite Max.
~*~*~*~*~
Liz entered the hospital room not quite sure what she'd find. She certainly didn't expect to see Alex, slumped over in a chair in the corner of the room, snoring lightly. The chair faced the door, and his head was propped at a rather awkward-looking angle, and it was clear he'd tried to keep himself trained on whoever might enter the room. In her emotional state it was almost too much to see his obvious concern for his friend…so much so that he wouldn't even go home to sleep in favor of staying here to keep an eye on her. Tears sprang unbidden to her eyes, and she wiped them away angrily. Stop it! she commanded herself. You are turning into a huge crybaby!
A sound from the bed drew her attention there, and she was startled to see Maria's hazel eyes open wide and looking right at her. "Don't wake him," Maria said softly. "He's been here the whole time, I think."
With a quiet cry of relief, Liz crossed to Maria's bedside and swept her friend up in a fierce embrace. "Oh I'm so glad you're okay!" Liz said, trying to keep her voice low. "I was so worried about you."
Maria winked, grinning that know-it-all grin. "Nah, it takes more than a mysterious bolt of energy from some crazed psycho alien to take Maria DeLuca down!" she kidded. Liz half-laughed, half-sobbed as she hugged her again.
Sensing her friend's sorrow, she pulled back and looked up into Liz's face. "Babe? What's wrong?"
Liz tried to keep her game face up, but failed miserably. She couldn't hide herself from Maria…she never could. Before she knew what was happening, she'd broken down and told her everything. About their night at the hotel, about the dreams, about having to leave each other that morning. Everything.
She found herself in the chair next to the bed, her head in Maria's lap after telling the story. Maria stroked her hair gently, quietly absorbing everything. "It's just so hard," Liz cried, her cheek pressed against the fabric of the coverlet on the bed. "It's so hard being away from him…knowing the future we would have had together…what we could still have, if things were different."
"I know," Maria said soothingly. "I know." She sighed as she thought about the humans in this room, and the aliens they loved. God, that makes it sound like a tabloid… she thought, and then continued her train of thought to Liz. "I know it's not any consolation…but maybe we just really weren't intended to be with them. I mean…think about how much misery we've all been through due in some form to them. And I don't even mean all the times we've risked our lives…I mean you and Max having to overcome so many hurdles to be together, only to find out you can't be. I mean me trying to be in a relationship with a guy who obviously doesn't want it. And Alex over there, falling for the ice queen. I sometimes wish…that we'd never found out, ya know? That whatever it was that drew us to them in the first place, hadn't happened. For your sake, if nothing else."
"But…doesn't that mean anything?" Liz asked, trying to make sense of it all. "Doesn't it mean anything at all that we weren't intended to be with them, but that we fell in love with them anyway? And…that they fell in love with us? I mean, how is that even possible, if this destiny is so set in stone? If it's so ironclad, then how's it even feasible that they can even care about us? How is it possible when this is killing him just as much as it's killing me?"
She sniffled and sat back up, looking at Maria, who looked at her sympathetically. "I can't just not ever see him again Maria, I just can't. Especially with everything going on right now…I want to help, and I need to make sure he's okay."
Maria smiled, and her voice was filled with wisdom when she spoke. "All you can do is follow your heart, Liz."
Liz looked at her a minute later, and then made up her mind, looking a little relieved at having made the decision. "I'm going to go help," she said, picking her jacket up from the bed. "They'll probably tell me to go away, but I've got to do what I feel is right. Tell Sleeping Beauty here I said 'hey' when he wakes up, okay?"
Maria was serious. "Be careful, Liz. And…uh, see if you can keep Michael out of trouble for me, okay? At least until I get outta this place and can take over."
Liz grinned, flashed Maria a thumb's up, and headed out, leaving Maria and the slumbering Alex alone. Maria sat there for a whole thirty seconds before getting bored, and she punched the "call nurse" button. A wary voice came through, tinny over the speaker. "Maria...did you need something else?"
Maria settled back in her bed. "So I was thinking we could talk about the lunch menu, 'cause let's face it, something's gotta be done…"