PRESIDENTIAL BASH 2000
Disclaimer ~ I do not own Sailor Moon or anything affiliated with it... Yada, yada, yada... I don't own Saturday Night Live's Presidential Bash 2000 (which is what this script comes from) and I hope you enjoy. I'm trying to make my muses work again
Announcer ~ The following is an NBC election special.
Kou ~ Yes, I-I-I believe that's in our national interest... and it's compassionate...
Motoki ~ Mr. Vice President?
Chiba ~ Yes, Motoki, I agree with the governor on that.
Motoki ~ And on Panama?
Chiba ~ I agree.
Motoki ~ Somalia?.
Chiba ~ Agree.
Motoki ~ Bosnia.
Chiba ~ Oh, I agree.
Motoki ~ Uh.. gentlemen, I can't help but note that there's been a great deal of agreement between the two of you tonight.
Kou ~ Definitely.
Chiba ~ I agree.
Kou ~ Yeah.
Chiba ~ Agree on that.
Motoki ~ Is there anything that comes to mind where you might disagree?
Kou ~ Jim I'm-
Chiba ~ Well-
Grunting (Trying to start sentences)
Kou ~ You go ahead, I really don't mind.
Chiba ~ No, no, no, I insist. Please, I was rude. I've had my turn. You go.
*sighs*
Kou ~ After you.
Chiba ~ No I'm gonna listen, I'm gonna listen, I'm gonna listen.
Kou ~ Okay.
Motoki ~ Governor Kou, can you give us an instance where you and the vice president differ?
Kou ~ Well Motoki, for one thing I think we disagree on my plan to restructure Nigeria's debt to the west. You see I've been.. I've been very impressed with the new leadership over there, president "Sounds like gibberish to me". Vice president "More gibberish". His special assistant Mr. "still more gibberish". Even the director of general public enterprise Mr. "how many more can this guy cook up?". They're all top-notch.
Motoki ~ Mr. Vice President.
Chiba ~ Actually Motoki, we agree on that as well.
Motoki ~ I see. Agree. Agree. Essentially Agree. Agree-
Kou ~ Uh, Motoki?
Motoki ~ Governor.
Kou ~ I got some more Nigerian Names for you. "All this nice stuff I'm not even going to TRY and type" Chief-, Special Assistant to the president of national orientation of public affairs-, Minister of Mining-. That's a crack staff *noises* compassionate.
*sigh*
*BEEP*
Kou ~ That was not a sigh.
Motoki ~ Gentlemen, put yourself in the mindset of an undecided voter watching tonight. Would it be fair for that voter to suspect that in preparing for this debate the two of you had either been highly coached... or highly medicated?
Chiba ~ Yes.
Kou ~ Probably.
Chiba ~ I agree.
*TV Cuts off*
Announcer ~ Please tune in next week for the last of three presidential debates.