Hagrid's Song

                Hi! This is my first fan fic, hope you like it. Ok, Harry potter and co. belong to J.K. Rowling. The song is a parody of "American Pie" by Don McLean. It's the first four books from Hagrid's POV. It's not chronological and it CONTAINS SPOILERS  for those who haven't read all four books.

                A quick note on the song. (PUN!J) Why didn't I use "My, my this here Potter guy" as the chorus. One, I'd be parodying a parody. Two, in British slang "guy" is an insult, calling someone ugly.

                Apologies to Rowling, McLean AND Weird Al. Enjoy!

A long, long time ago

I remember how the magic made me smile.

But I guess I blew my chance

I would never necromance

Or use magic for a while.

But Voldemort made me shiver.

A deathblow he delivered.

Baby on the doorstep

I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried

When I saw the remains of James' bride.

But something touched me deep inside

The day the Potters died.

CHORUS

Oh my, my, Harry give it a try.

Rowed my boat cross the moat

But the moat was dry.

And good ol' kids eatin' treacle pie

Singin' "This'll be the day that I fly"

"This'll be the day that I fly."

JK wrote a book on him

Its pages some people would skim

Biblethumpers, they said "no"

Ah, do you believe good conquers all?

Have you met Ms. McGonagal?

And can you teach me how to dance real slow?

Well I know that he's in love with Cho

And I heard how fast hi broom can go.

Oh yeah he likes to play Quidditch

And man this kid is rich!

I was a lonely giant gameskeeper

With a boar hound named Fang but no carpetsweeper.

But I knew I was a weeper

The day the Potters died. (repeat chorus)

Now for ten years, he's been on his own

With the Dursleys who just bitch and moan

And the cupboard was his bedroom.

When Harry found invisibility

In a cloak left to him by James P.

He had fun and learned to ride a broom.

Oh and while Harry was fallin' down

Dumbledore kept him off the ground.

Quidditch game was adjourned.

Dementors had returned!

Hermione read a book of spells.

Madame Pomfrey helped them get well.

And Ron told his rat to go to hell

When Buckbeak nearly died. (repeat chorus)

Gilderoy Lockhart, he's an old mock fart

The phoenix flew off with a hot Pop Tartâ„¢

Spell backfired, he lost his mind.

Before each wizard and witch

The players tried for a Golden Snitch.

More than Bludgers, it's the hardest thing to find.