*****Gotta give some credit where credit is due: Thanks to http://www.fifibear.com/emergence.html
for the information on Emergence May Day Music Festival in Tompkins Square Park May 2, 1999
(yes, I changed the date to fit my story J). Thanks to http://www.wigstock.nu/history/index.html
for all the information on Wigstock, which sounds like a fun place to be (even though I don't cross-dress.
Did you think otherwise? Hehe). Oh, one more thanks to give: Thanks to the RENT book for telling
me exactly where Tompkins Square Park is in relation to
the loft. Okay, that's all…for now.*****
After five days of being
hospitalized, Mark was released to go home. Although he was still considerably
weak and socially unstable, the doctors couldn't hold him in any longer. Mark
felt caged in the hospital, and, even though he knew his strength was not yet
up to par, he needed to get out of there. All that treatment and those needles
and tubes and that damned heart monitor with its continuous beeping was enough
to drive him insane.
So, Roger carefully helped Mark
home, and was sure to only stand near him and not offer help. The last thing
Mark wanted to hear was, 'Do you need assistance?'
Once they reached the loft, Mark's
eyes lit up and a smile stretched across his pale face. "Home sweet home," he
said with a chuckle.
Roger smiled too and fell onto the
futon in the corner. "Ahh, it feels good to have an actual bed underneath me.
Those lobby seats were killing my back."
"Yeah, the hospital bed wasn't any
better. All that plastic and…" He shuddered. "Yuck."
Roger laughed, propping himself up
on his elbows and watching Mark sit carefully down on one of the folding
chairs. "Feels good to be home, huh?"
"Yeah…you bet." He smiled, picking
up the camera that sat, wrapped in a big red bow, on the table. "Ah! I can
finally hold it up and film!" He bit his lip, as excited as a little puppy – and
just as adorably youthful, too. He flung the bow off, and, turning on the
camera, he panned across the loft, narrating soothingly. "Here we find the loft
– with its futon beds and illegal wood burning stove – in all its glory;
untouched and pure, with the elegant grace of a poor-man's Shangri-La."
Roger shook his head, raising a
brow. "Are you talking about our house or a woman? I can't seem to tell."
"Cute, Roger. Real cute."
Roger pursed his lips,
winking and turning to lie on his back. "I try." He stared up at the cracked
ceiling and smiled happily. Things were finally returning to normal. Or so he
thought.
Two days passed peacefully with
everything returning to the usual routine. Mark walked slowly, but steadily,
around NYC – careful to stay away from alleys – while Roger sat for hours
writing – or attempting to write – songs for the movie that Mark would
surely finish before he even got through a full song. Benny promised to return
for the rent in two months time, at which time he would demand three months'
rent with interest – that is, if he was in a good mood. Joanne and
Maureen were in a lover's tiff, as usual, and had split up for a period TBA.
Mark, with all his old habits returning, offered Maureen a place to stay, and
she, being always in her usual habits, had agreed readily and had taken over
Roger's corner futon. Roger shrugged it off, letting Mark do what he pleased,
just to make things easier. Besides, it would be useless to argue with Maureen.
She won every argument – or didn't mention those she lost.
"Roger, listen to this!" Maureen
cried, jumping atop the table in the middle of the room, clearing her throat.
Roger looked up from where he sat (on the floor, leaning against the wall
across from her) and set down his guitar momentarily. This was her third
interruption. "Okay, this is it! This is the one!"
Roger rolled his eyes, forcing a
smile and nodding. "Go ahead."
"When at last I had found myself
freed from the chains that bound me, I was left panting and drooling over the
large burnt turkey in the corner street window…."
Roger's thoughts strayed elsewhere.
Maureen was protesting, yet again. What was it this time? Sometimes, it was
hard to tell. However, Mark had explained that she was protesting the
capitalists' Thanksgiving. Roger could care less, though. He hated listening to
Maureen ramble on. He often wondered if she was an artist or a politician.
Sometimes, the lines between were blurred.
"….And as I reached in my pocket, I
found it bare!" she continued, oblivious. "Bare – nothing but my craving for
the marrow of life! I screamed," here, she inserted a long pause as her eyes
surveyed an imaginary audience, "But silence abounded beside my exposed ears
and everyone scrambled away from my poor façade, as if I were cursed with leprosy…."
Again, Roger blocked out her voice,
staring at her but not seeing her at all. Her image melted away into
nothingness as his mind wandered. It was now the day before Thanksgiving and he
had much to be thankful for, but something was tugging at his stomach muscles,
making them churn uneasily with an apprehensive prediction of a catastrophe
soon to be. Mark had been called down to the police station twice to try and
identify the men who raped and beat him. Both times had yielded nothing. Mark
recognized no one and knew that when he did, it would not be good.
"….Their hands grabbed my wrist,
where that intolerable ticking was tocking as I strolled! They made me bleed
and writhe and yet I found myself saying, 'Money is everything. Money is good.
Money makes the world….'"
That's where Mark was right now:
down at the police station, checking the lineup once again to see if he
recognized any of them. Roger worried over this. What would happen if Mark did,
in fact, recognize one of them? He might faint or something worse….
"….And then I scream out with my
lungs full of hate! I've given in to that corruption! I've given up my
innocence to those insensitive bastards who…."
Mark was still weak, although he
didn't admit it to anyone, and he still was afraid to let anyone touch him.
Every time Roger got within an inch distance (which he didn't allow himself to
do often, for Mark's sake), Mark would tremble and break out in a sweat and
would have to lie down for a while. These instances scared the hell out of Roger.
And, since Mark had been gone most of the day, he was worrying even more than
usual.
"….As they bind my hands behind my
back, I struggle and break free, shouting, 'Viva America!'" Here, she took a
long breath and sang out with all her might, "'Viva America!' Say it with me,
Roger! 'Viva America!'"
Hearing his name yelled out so loud
and high-pitched, he was shaken from his musing trance. "Wh-What?"
"Say it with me! 'Viva America!'"
Her eyes were wide and bright as she reached out to him with both hands, egging
him on.
"Uhh…Viva America?" he asked,
confused.
Maureen's shoulders drooped heavily
and she rolled her eyes, stomping off the table. "Were you listening at all?"
"Uhh…"
She growled in a huff and threw her
hands in the air. "I don't know how anyone can expect me to put on this damn
production piece of shit tomorrow! I seriously think you all want me to be
lousy! And that damned girlfriend – ex-girlfriend of mine with all her
shit-spinning…."
Roger stood up and ran his fingers
through his hair, closing his eyes momentarily. He could stand this for about
two more seconds – maximum. "Maureen, please, just –"
"….And with all that crap I've been
put through as she accuses me – me! – of flirting with Mark and Benny and God knows who else! And then,
you have the gall to –"
"Maureen!" Roger
yelled, louder than he'd meant to. "Please! Shut up!"
She glared at him
harshly and plopped down on his futon in the corner (which now belonged to
her), but not before her middle finger rose triumphantly as her tongue was
pointed directly at him. "Shithead," she whispered under her breath, pouting.
Roger rolled his eyes,
leaning his head back. He wished that she and Joanne would just make up already
so that he could go back to living normally with Mark. It was such a burden
having her always nearby. Just as he was about to tell her what he thought of
her – and her so-called performance – the door swung open slowly, revealing a
very disheveled Mark, camera in hand at his side, off. He looked as if he'd
just waken from a two-day nap.
"Mark?" Roger
whispered, cocking his head to one side.
"Hey guys," he replied
with a strained smile. "What's up?"
"You okay?" Roger
continued, oblivious to Mark's question.
"Um…yeah, I think so."
He closed his eyes, sighing and taking a seat in a folding chair.
"What happened at the
police station?" Maureen asked, having already forgotten that she should be
angry with Roger.
"Oh," Mark exhaled
with a shrug, "They found two of the guys."
"That's great!"
Maureen smiled.
Mark's fake smile
reappeared. "Yeah…"
"Shit!" Maureen
exclaimed, glancing at her watch. "I've gotta go, honey. I need to recruit
performers to help with tomorrows protest. Wanna come? I could use the
company."
Mark shook his head,
setting the camera down on the table in front of him. "No, but thanks anyway.
You should call Joanne and make up. She would help, you know."
Maureen pinched his
cheek. "She'll call when she's tired of being lonely," she said with a huffy
attitude. "Ta-ta!" She made a fashionable exit, flinging her purse over her
shoulder as she flew out the door.
Mark watched her leave
with a silence that made Roger wonder what was up. Mark's quiet manner was not
normal for some reason. Something must've happened.
"Mark? You sure you're
okay?"
Mark didn't answer
right away, but after a short pause he shook his head, smiling. "Yeah, fine."
Roger took a seat next
to Mark and watched him. "Somehow I don't believe you. What happened?"
"Oh…. Well, I IDed the two
guys and they're looking for the others now."
"That's it?"
"And…."
"What is it, Mark?"
Mark let his head drop
to rest in his hands and, by the trembling of his body, Roger could tell that
his best friend was sobbing.
"Mark! What happened?
Tell me!" Roger reached out helplessly, knowing he couldn't do anything – not
even hug him for comfort.
"One of the guys….
They…they…" His voice trailed off through the sobs. "He… he had…. Oh God,
Roger! The man…he had AIDS!"
Roger's jaw dropped
and he unknowingly reached out, in more of an unconscious reaction than
anything else, and gathered the tremulous Mark into his arms. Mark cried out,
but Roger persisted, fully aware of what he was doing now. Mark's eyes slammed
shut as images flashed before his eyes.
"No, Mark, it's okay!
C'mon, calm down."
"No! Let me go! Oh
God, please!" Mark cried, pushing his arms in between their bodies. "Please,
please!"
"Mark! It's me, Roger…. I'm not going
to hurt you!" he whispered urgently, trying to get Mark to recognize him. "It's
me, Mark! It's Roger." Mark twitched and cried out, and Roger held him at
arm's length away from him by his arms. "Mark, look at me! Look at me! It's
Roger, your friend, your roommate! Open your eyes, Mark, and just look!"
Slowly, Mark's eyes
opened and he was breathless for a few moments as his body calmed and stopped
shaking. Their eyes held each other's for a few tense moments before Mark
slipped down from the chair and slid to the floor, falling forwards on his
stomach. Roger was swiftly down, kneeling by his side.
"Mark! Mark, are you
okay?"
"N-no…." he breathed
so softly that Roger almost couldn't hear. Mark's head lifted and his eyes
timidly met Roger's. He was trembling still, but at least he could stand to be
near Roger again. Just as softly as before, Mark spoke with quivering words, "I
don't wanna die, Roger…. I don't wanna die."
"You won't die!" cried
Roger, reaching for Mark. But, Mark jerked away, crawling back until he was
against the wall. "Mark…. Maybe the tests are wrong… Maybe –"
"No, the tests weren't
wrong…."
"Maybe you don't –"
"I
don't wanna listen anymore, Roger. Just leave me alone. God, for once in your
life, just leave me alone!"
Mark held the camera
before his face and filmed absentmindedly. "Close on Mark Cohen, who is a weak,
stupid kid who can never manage to catch a break…." He sighed, leaning back
against the wall.
He hadn't moved a
muscle (literally) since Roger had left, provoked by Mark's harsh words, which
he now regretted. Roger had been the only one to ever help him with his
problems. Of course, Collins would listen, if he had the time, and Joanne would
most assuredly take time out from her busy schedule, but he always felt like a
nuisance around her, and maybe even Mimi would coo and tell him everything would
be all right. Benny and Maureen wouldn't care…. Well, maybe Maureen, if she
felt like it. But Roger was always the one who worried over him, whether he had
the time or not. That was just one of those things that made Roger his best
friend; that kept him as a best friend for all these years.
Mark set the camera
down, letting his head rest against the wall behind him. "Nice going, Mark," he
spoke to himself in a light whisper, "But why should I care about him? Damn it,
why? I've got enough problems to work out on my own. I probably have AIDS, I've
been raped and beaten severely, and I'm still so fuckin' unstable that I can't
handle anyone touching me! So, why let Roger try to help when I know he'll only
hinder?" Closing his eyes, he felt hot tears burning. He wouldn't allow them to
fall, though. He'd cried enough today already…. He just couldn't forget all the
things he and Roger had just said:
"Leave
you alone?" Roger cried, more hurt than angry. "Why? I'm only trying to --"
"I
know, Roger," Mark growled, wrapping his arms about himself. "Just go…. Please,
I don't want –"
"Don't
want me to help, is that it? Goddamn it, Mark! Don't you get it? I'm trying my
fuckin' best to just be there for you and be your friend, but if you're not
even going to try –"
"I
can't help it!" Mark screamed, jumping to his feat and stepping up to Roger.
"I've been fuckin' raped, damn it! Do you have any idea how I feel?"
Roger
glared, now angry. "If you think I sat there by your side in that stupid
hospital because I didn't know how you felt, then I don't know how we're
still friends!"
Tears
flowed from Mark's eyes and he thrust his fists forward towards Roger, pounding
against his chest with all the built-up rage that he'd been trying to mask for
the past week. "Damn you, Roger! Fuck you!"
"Mark!
Mark!" Roger cried, holding his fists still with little effort, for Mark was
still weak. "What's wrong with you?"
"Get
the hell away from me! Stop touching me! Do you have any idea how you're
hurting me?"
"Yes!"
Roger threw Mark's hands away. "And I'm trying to –"
"Well
stop trying!" Mark cried, sinking to his knees and then falling back to
his original position against the wall. "Please…. Just stop…."
"Fine!
If you wanna be like that, fine!" Roger grabbed his coat and slammed the door
behind him. "Fuckin' fine!"
Mark hadn't stopped
Roger from leaving. He'd let him walk out for an unknown amount of time. Would
he ever even come back? Roger was prone to fits of rage where he might stay out
'til all hours of the morning, wandering NYC aimlessly. But, Mark was still
angry, and he told himself he didn't care if Roger ever did come back. It would
be better if he didn't, he told himself. But, of course, the one thing he
wanted was his best friend. Nothing else mattered – not if he had AIDS, not his
brutal incident with those men in the alley, not Maureen's performance
tomorrow, not the rent due in two month's time: nothing.
Meanwhile, Roger
wandered the street, as Mark would have suspected. But, Roger was not only
doing this because Mark was angry and had said things he didn't mean; he was
doing it to find the other men who'd beaten on Mark, if he happened upon them.
He had stopped by the
police station and asked the cop on duty what the other men looked like,
presumably. He'd found the photos the other men had supplied them with and had
gone out with the faces imprinted in his mind. If he saw them, they would die –
no second thoughts, no regrets.
In all truthfulness,
he didn't want to find them and give them what they deserved. He needed time
away from everything that was troubling him – mainly, his friends. He didn't
feel upset that Mark had told him off, or that he himself had been just as
ignorant to Mark's feelings. He just felt tired of life in general and
everything about the status quo. He and Mimi hadn't discussed the child they
were to have at all since that day at the hospital. He needed desperately to
talk to her, but lately she'd been absent every time he was free.
He stopped wandering
when he reached Tompkins Square Park. He needed a distraction, and where better
to get one than the park famous for fun and relaxation 24/7? He smiled
slightly, watching the crowd before him. It was the Emergence Day Music
Festival, 1998. This was the third of such festivals held in the same dingy old
park, which was in surprisingly good condition after the riots of the '80's and
the large riot last year after Maureen's performance, located between the
cross-sections of Avenues A and B and 7th and 10th
street. The celebration this year would last all day, and it was nearing
nightfall as he walked upon it. In fact, Maureen's performance tomorrow
afternoon would be held just outside this park. He grinned, thinking of all the
people who would join her protest and vow never to eat turkey again because of
its capitalistic beginnings. How would she ever manage to persuade them with
that crappy narrative of hers, which he hadn't heard but a few words of?
But, putting all
thoughts of Maureen and her sure-to-shock protest tomorrow aside, Roger entered
the free festivity with mostly wonder, but a little of doubt mixed in. He
didn't want to forget all his problems and enjoy himself, but what else was
there to do? He couldn't go back. Mark wanted space for a little while, and it
was the least he could do to give that to him, although he knew it wasn't what
Mark truly wanted. Besides, this festival was an interesting Tompkins Square
Park tradition and had been since the Greatful Dead concert back in the late
'70's. He almost laughed aloud as a few teenagers skipped past him wearing the
now in-style skin-tight shirts, baggy jeans and backpacks with stickers
blanketing them. These kids mixed in nicely with the park regulars who came
every day to chill out and enjoy life's simple pleasures: perhaps a game of chess
at the chess tables, or maybe a glance at a dog run on the opposite side of the
park. In any rate, the park was full of Electronica freaks. Yes, this
celebration was after the famous Summer of Electronica. Roger didn't
particularly like this type of music, but anything to get his mind off of life.
To his surprise, he
saw Collins sitting at a chess table, preying on an unsuspecting teen, who
surely didn't know his pawns from the chessboard.
"Collins!" Roger waved,
rushing up to him, glad for the company in this strange environment.
"Hey Roger!" Collins
grinned, looking up from the game. "What are you doing here?"
"I'd ask you the same thing.
No work?"
"Naw, I get off once a
year or so," he replied with a grin.
"Why haven't you come
by the loft?"
"Maureen's practicing
her speech, isn't she?"
"Yeah."
"That's why." He
resumed the game, staring at the kid across from him. "C'mon kid, give up! I've
got you right where I want you." He grinned, maliciously.
"Hell naw!" cried the
kid, scratching an imaginary beard thoughtfully.
Collins relaxed,
sitting back and folded his arms, turning his attention back to Roger with
interest. "So, what brings you here? I thought you hated all this bass."
Roger shrugged. "I do,
but Mark didn't want me around because… well, for reasons of his own, I
guess…."
"Mark's stubborn as a
mule." Collins reached out without taking his attention from Roger and moved a
chess piece without a second thought. The kid looked astonished to find himself
cornered with no alternatives. "Checkmate."
"Aw, hell!" The kid
grunted and scratched his head, standing to his feet. "You always win," he
pouted.
Collins laughed,
standing and shaking hands. "No, you always lose."
"What's the
difference?"
"Not a thing, but I
like saying you lost." He smirked. "Come back tomorrow, Jimmy, and we'll play
another game. I might even teach you a few pointers."
"Naw, not tomorrow,"
the kid replied with a frown. "The next day."
"Still not 'out'?"
Jimmy shook his head,
somewhat disappointedly. "See ya," he whispered, running off.
"What's tomorrow?"
Roger asked, watching the kid take off and taking a seat opposite Collins.
Collins laughed
heartily. "Thanksgiving."
Roger rolled his eyes,
shaking his head. "I know that. But, what with the talk of, 'still
not out'?"
"Oh, that…." Collins
shrugged with a sad smile. "Tomorrow's Wigstock."
"Wigstock?"
"Yeah…. You want the
backstory?"
"Seeing as how I have
no clue what you're talking about, sure."
Collins cleared his throat, narrating proudly: "Late one night in the spring of '84 a drunken group of friends, seeking more diversions, closed the Pyramid Club and traipsed over to Tompkins Square Park, six-packs in tow. The friends, Brian Butterick, Michael "Kitty" Ullman, Wendy Wild, The "Lady" Bunny and a few members of the Fleshtones, were horsing around in the bandshell when someone (no one remembers who, it's all such a blur) came up with the idea of putting on a show - a day-long drag festival - and calling it Wigstock. And thus," he concluded while straightening his posture, "Wigstock was born."
"What an…interesting story," Roger laughed. "How come you're going? Well, I assume you're going."
"And I am. It's nice to meet all the people there. It's nothing like you'd think it'd be, Roger. And…it reminds me of Angel." He smiled softly. "It's a nice reminder."
Roger nodded. "But, why doesn't the kid want to come? Does he not approve of cross-dressing?"
"He's gay, but can't admit it to his parents yet. He also has AIDS, but
no one but me and a select few gang member friends of his know that."
"He's a gang member?"
Roger asked, surprised. "And he's got AIDS? Poor kid…"
"Yeah. I'm trying to
clean him up, if that's at all possible."
"Well, you got him to
play chess. That's a start."
Collins smiled happily
again. "True." He paused for a short moment. "Care to join the festivities
tomorrow?"
"Uhhh…."
"You don't have to
cross-dress, Roger!" Collins chuckled, standing to his feet. Roger did the
same. "I'm not going drag. It's not my style."
"Not mine either,"
Roger said while they walked.
"Uh huh, only on the
weekends, right?"
"Right." Roger smiled.
"Well, come anyway.
C'mon, it's either this or Maureen's performance." They both cringed.
"I'll
come."
Mark sat on top of the
folding table, watching the door intensely. Roger had been gone for nearly half
the day, worrying Mark to death. Maureen had come back, only to say that she
and Joanne were cool and that she was moving back with "Jo-Jo". Mimi had come
home again but had fallen asleep waiting up for Roger.
Holding the camera up
to his face, Mark filmed, turning away from the door. "Once again, the solitary
filmmaker sits – alone – wishing for something to keep him going." He paused
thoughtfully, sighing with a frown. "Why are some of the best films those which
have never been seen?" he asked with quivering lips. "And those which cost
millions are never quite as big as they seem when viewed in close-up; the
pixels become blurry and the picture is distorted. Why is it when everything
seems to be going perfect and fine, something just has to happen to fuck it all
up and send you spiraling down the lens, praying you get out before they turn
the projector on? For, when they flip the switch to view your life, you find
out it's a sham…. And why am I constantly the one to be pondering life's
inconsequential inquiries? Why am I unaccompanied and by myself – so much
alone?"
Roger stood in the
doorway, leaning against it, holding something small in his hands. He was
silent, listening contently to Mark's ramblings. How else could he know exactly
what his best friend was thinking?
Mark zoomed in on his
own features. "Let's take a close-up view of the biggest fraud in NYC," he
whispered sadly. "Am I really such a hypocrite?" His eyes were distraught and
fuzzy in the camera's lens – exactly the effect he was looking for.
Roger shrugged,
choosing now to speak, before Mark went further into depression. "Not really."
Mark nearly dropped the camera, jumping a little off the table. "But, you do
have a tendency to break out into poetic verse and talk with yourself." Roger
smiled slightly.
Mark mimicked the thin
smile, and, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, he spoke, "Hey, Roger."
"Hey," Roger replied,
stepping inside the loft fully and moving to sit next to Mark on the table.
"Where've you been?"
"I went to see the
Emergence Day Festival and ran into Collins."
"Oh? How was it?"
"What? The Music
Festival?"
"Yeah."
Roger laughed,
swinging his legs and watching them. "Pretty lame," he laughed.
Mark slipped off the
table, taking his camera along and pretended to fix it further away. "Have
fun?"
Roger looked up and
cocked his head to the side. "No."
Mark stopped momentarily
and then went on. "Not even with Collins?"
"Well, yeah, Collins
is fun…. But, I really didn't want to be there."
"Oh?"
Roger rolled his eyes,
sighed, and jumped off the table, walking towards Mark. "You know I didn't have
any fun. Whenever we fight, especially over nothing – what else do we fight
about? – I feel like shit."
Mark nodded, but
didn't reply.
"Geez, Mark," Roger
said, shaking his head, "You're so stubborn."
Mark glared, turning
his head and setting the camera down. "So? Some find that an astonishingly
handsome trait."
"Are they human?"
"Shut up, Roger."
"Look, I just want to
say that I'm sorry for whatever I did that upset you. I know it wasn't the fact
that I was trying to help. I know what's eating away at you, Mark, and you know
it too – you're scared."
"I am not –"
"Don't try to deny it,
because I've been exactly where you are right now, and I was terrified. I felt
like nobody understood, no one cared, and that no one wanted to care."
Mark sighed, slumping
into a chair.
"Is that how you feel,
Mark? Tell me it is, and we'll work through it together. You know I'll do
anything to help – anything at all. I'll be there for you like you were for me
when April died."
Mark looked up and
swallowed. "Roger, I'm so fuckin' scared that I can't breath…. It's eating me
alive."
Roger sat down beside
him and sighed, offering him what he'd been holding in his hands since he'd
returned. "Here, have this. It'll make all your problems go away. It's a
present from Collins."
Mark smiled, shaking
his head. It was a Fugi Camera. His smiled was melancholy, however, and he hung
his head, setting the camera down. "God Roger, how the hell do I get through
this? How did you get through this?"
"Unfortunately, I
didn't…. But, Mark, you don't know that you have AIDS. Don't worry about it
until you know for sure. There's no use terrifying yourself out of your mind if
you don't have anything to base it on."
Mark tried to smile.
"Didn't I say that to you a week ago about Benny and Mimi?"
Roger laughed. "Yeah."
"Geez, has it been
that long since everything was normal?" Mark whispered despairingly.
"Yeah…."
"And tomorrow's
Thanksgiving." He frowned heavily. "Roger, please, you gotta help me…. I don't
think I can hang on much longer…."
"Don't say that, Mark!
God, I'll help you in whatever you need, you know that! Don't worry, pal;
you'll make it through. I promise."
Mark hung down and
placed his head in his hands. "I just don't want to suffer anymore, Roger…. No
more…."
Roger hugged him
gently, and, for a moment, Mark trembled, but soon he ceased and was silent.
For the first time in a long while, Mark allowed himself to be hugged and to
feel weak in front of another person. Mark clung to his best friend – the only
friend he felt he had right now – with a determination that was heart
rendering.
Through choked sobs,
Mark whispered, "Thank you…."
To
which Roger could only reply, "Any time…"
"Rise and shine,
shnookums!" cried Roger, messing with Mark's hair while he tried to sleep. This
time, it was the musician's turn to arouse the filmmaker.
Mark opened his eyes
lazily and grinned, rolling over on his back and glaring up at Roger. "Why
Roger…. You're up before me? What's the occasion?"
"Get your ass out of
bed and I might tell you."
"I've heard that line
before."
"You should have. You
said it."
Mark sat up and
yawned, stretching out his limbs freely as Roger walked away. The smell of
bacon, eggs, and pancakes filled the air and Mark was instantly drawn to it.
"What smells so good?" he asked, his mouth watering.
Roger grinned. "That's
breakfast-ala-Collins."
Mark quirked a
brow. "What happened?" He paused, his
eyes widening as he jumped from the futon. "Uh oh, did you break my camera
again?"
"What?" Roger
questioned with sarcasm. "Why would I do that? And what makes you think I did?"
"Well, two reasons: 1)
because you have before, and 2) because you don't cook – ever."
"Okay, two reasons I
resent that: 1) because it wasn't my fault the first time, and 2) because you
said you liked my chicken fritters last night." He winked, laughing. "Now, sit
down and relax. Don't be so jumpy."
"In this house? Who's
not jumpy?"
"Not me!" cried Mimi,
bounding into the room from outside, carrying a tall jug of milk in one hand
and a bag in the other. "Morning everyone." She pushed Mark down in the futon,
sitting beside him.
"Hey, calm down,
Mimi," Roger berated, "In your condition, you shouldn't –"
"In my condition…. In
my condition! You hush over there, cooky-boy, and let me be."
"What kind of a man
would I be then?"
"A good one?"
Roger grumbled. Mimi
twirled a finger around Mark's hair and giggled. "Did ya sleep well?"
"Uh, I –"
"Good! Roger, how's
breakfast coming?"
"I slept fine. And how
about you?" Mark continued quietly to himself.
"Coming along nicely,"
Roger replied with a grin. "In faaa-aact…." He appeared before them with a tray
full of breakfast foods. "Here it is! Voila!"
Mark watched, slightly
horrified, as Roger set the tray down in front of him and Mimi jumped to her
feet.
"Okay, what the hell's
going on here?" Mark asked, confused. "Breakfast in bed? What's gotten into you
two?"
"Nothin'," they both
cooed with big smiles on their faces.
"Just felt like doing
something nice for you," Mimi said.
"Yeah, what's the
matter? You don't like it?"
"Oh no, it's
wonderful." Mark laughed and started eating. "Just curious," he continued with
a mouthful of pancakes.
"Don't talk with your
mouth full," chimed Maureen, entering with gusto from the front door. Every entrance
was planned and executed perfecting. She wore a white, skin-tight shirt with
the words 'Turkey + Capitalism = Thanksgiving = Evil' written in big, black,
bold letters. Along with that, she wore baggy tan pants and big combat boots.
"You look like you're
out to stop a revolution," Roger said, shaking his head as he looked over the
outfit.
"I am!" she replied in
a huff. "The Capitalist revolution."
"Ah…."
"Mmm! Somethin' smells
good!" She sniffed her way over to Mark and sat down beside him with a cute
smile on her lips. "Can I –"
"Don't even think
about it!" cried Joanne from the doorway, entering. "Get your hooker ass away
from Mark!" she continued with a laugh.
"Hey, don't insult us
hookers," Mimi retorted, sticking out her tongue. "We work just as hard as the
lot of you! Don't we, Roger?"
Roger grinned. "O'course we
do."
Mark stood. "Suddenly,
I'm not hungry anymore."
"What?" asked
Collins, entering the loft. "You don't like my breakfast?" He pretended to
pout. "And after all that trouble I went through to buy it all!"
Mark smiled, throwing
his head back in laughter and falling back down onto the futon. Holding his
sides, he rocked back and forth. They all stared at him in confusion.
"Mark? You okay?"
asked Collins, raising an eyebrow.
Mark wiped a tear away
from laughing so hard and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine." He stuck a fork in his
breakfast and started to eat again. "C'mon, I'm not gonna be the only one
eating. Grab a plate – if, that is, you can find any around here – and have Mr.
Cook Collins over there fix you all something."
Collins grinned,
laughing. "In all truthfulness, I don't cook. I went out to McDonald's early
this morning."
Mark leaned against
the wall, smiling gently. "I figured."
Wigfest '98 was to be
the biggest and best of all the previous of such festivities. It was expected
to draw 11,000 or more people this year. Among those attending this year were
Collins, Mimi, Mark, and Roger. Joanne had gone along with Maureen to help with
the performance and the others had sworn to be there in time to view it,
although none were too excited about it. No one, that is, save Maureen herself.
It was a bit odd for
the four friends to find themselves among the thousands of drag queens, but
they found it a very homely experience. Oddly enough, they were used to it. New
York was an interesting place, after all, and ever since Angel's death, all of
them had been given a different outlook on cross-dressing. Collins seemed right
at home, mingling among the attendants, and Mimi found herself going along with
him. Roger strolled around just taking it all in. And Mark? He filmed.
"Isn't this great?"
cried Mark happily, turning the camera every which way to try and catch
everything as it unfolded. "What a reel this will be! I'll be sure to get some
amazing footage from this!"
Roger shook his head,
laughing. "Sure. Sounds good."
Mark barely heard
Roger as he continued to film, panning his way to the stage, where one of the
more attractive drag queens was singing a song, complete with an orchestra
behind her. Mark smiled, watching her strut her stuff provocatively across the
stage, waving and receiving catcalls from various members of the audience, one
of which, he noticed was Collins.
Roger was quiet, just
watching it all. He was having a good time, despite how sick he felt inside.
Mark was happy – for now. But what would happen when the doctor called today –
today, of all days! – to give the results from Mark's blood test?
"C'mon, Roger!" Mark
nudged his friend out of his musings with an elbow in his side, playfully. "You
don't seem to be enjoying yourself."
Roger put on a smile,
shrugging. "I am."
"Don't lie." Mark
turned the camera off. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing. I swear, I'm
happy."
Mark rolled his eyes
and took a seat at an open bench. Roger sat beside him. "I don't believe you."
Mark frowned suddenly. "Are you thinking about the call?"
Roger let out a
breath, nodding. "Yeah."
"Me too…. But, if we
dwell on it, I'll lose it."
"I know. I'm sorry, I just
can't stop thinking about it."
Mark laughed lightly.
"You can't stop thinking about it? How do you think I feel?"
He shrugged. "I know….
Sorry."
"Don't be sorry.
Please, stop being sorry. I can be sorry enough for us both."
Roger nodded. "Well,
c'mon, Mr. Filmmaker. This is your day – Thanksgiving. What do you want to do
first?"
Mark grinned
devilishly. "You won't like it."
"What? Why not?" He
thought a moment and then shook his head. "No. Oh no…"
"Yes!" His grin widened. "I want to see Maureen's performance."
