I debate on whether to follow him or not. I'm too mentally and physically exhausted. I haven't slept in about three days and have gone through so much emotion. Besides, I can't stop him if he decides to use again. I couldn't stop him before.
I start cleaning up the loft, picking up the knocked over chairs and table and picking up the broken glass of the glasses he threw against the wall. I look at my watch; 30 minutes have gone by. I should have followed him. Why didn't I follow him? Now, he may be gone forever. He is still sick, what if he passes out on the street? I pick up the prescription bottle we took home from the hospital. AZT. I still can't believe it. First Collins, and now Roger.
I decide to go and search for him. I walk out of the door, then decide to go back and leave a note for him in case he comes back. I debate on what to say, so I just write, be back later – M and take off.
I walk up and down the streets of Alphabet City. I go into all the clubs; I even go and see his dealer. He told me he hadn't seen Roger in a few days, but to tell him he had something special saved for him. Sure buddy, I'll give him the message. No one I asked saw him, though some heard what happened to April. And were concerned, others just didn't care. After about two hours of searching, I decide to go home and see if he was there.
I walk in the door, and the loft is exactly as I had left it. The light on the answering machine was blinking.
SPEAK!
"Mark, its Roger. Thanks for everything, but I couldn't take it and I couldn't put you through it. I checked myself into a clinic. I'll be here for 7 days. After that, I'll be home, I promise."
I replay the message. I listen to it about ten times in a row. 'I checked myself into a clinic'. I feel deliriously happy. He is getting help! I actually start to dance around the apartment. I call Maureen and leave her a message with the news. I can't believe she isn't home yet. I then call Collins who yells at me because I hadn't called him all day. I rehash the day's events and again he is upset that he isn't here with us. I assure him things are fine. Roger is safe right now. As I talk to him I let out a big yawn. Finally, I hang up with him and lie down and fall quickly asleep.