"
"No problem Pookie, it's nice to get out of the city." She smiles at me, "And Thanksgiving in Scarsdale, what's better than that?"
"I know, it sucks, I don't want to either. Just a couple of hours though. We go in, we chat, we eat more food than we have the last month, and we go home." I merge the rented car onto the highway, feeling strange to be driving after so long. "Eat and run as they say." She smiles and turns the radio louder and we drive in silence.
A week after the diary incident, Maureen forgave me. She just called me as if nothing happened. I was afraid to bring it up, and she hasn't mentioned it again. In fact, things have been really good the last few months. We have been spending more time together, and I have been loving it. Roger is still trapped in the house, and I have had writer's block, so I haven't been working. She hasn't even mentioned Joanne to me lately, it is strange.
We pull into the driveway of the house I grew up in. My mother comes rushing out, apron on, wooden spoon in hand. She loves Maureen. I think my mother was convinced I was gay until I brought her home the first time. We get out of the car and she hugs Maureen and then comes over to me. "Mark, honey, you look… well, a little disheveled." Gee… great to be home.
Four hours and a huge meal later, we are on our way back to the city. I take the longer route, because I like driving, and because Maureen and I alone together and it is really nice. "Was it terrible?"
"Nah," She starts fumbling with the radio again, "Your family is great, perfect in fact."
"Well, you haven't met my father…"
She shrugs, "Cindy's baby is so adorable. You should really go home more often."
"No way! Once a year is more than enough. Yeah, the baby is adorable, but it will grow up to be like Xavier, and that is just scary."
"Yeah, that kid is a brat, just like his uncle." She pokes me in the side to let me know that she is joking. We laugh the rest of the way home, about my family, her family, our friends. We never let the conversation grow serious, and that is great by me.
I drop her off at her apartment before I go bring back the car. "Want me to come by tonight, I could stay over?" I really don't want this day to end, it has been so perfect.
"No pookie, I'm tired. Why don't you just go home and I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Ok fine." But still, I really want to spend more time with her, and what is waiting for me at home, but a brooding ex-musician? So I drop off the car and walk back to Maureen's. It takes me about 30 minutes round trip. I still have the leftovers my mother sent me home with, and I carry them up to her apartment. When I get to the door, I hear a loud female voice, much deeper than Maureen's.
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO TELL HIM!"
"I was… I am… it's just… it's not easy, you know?"
"Maureen, baby, I know it isn't easy, but it isn't fair to him, and it isn't fair to me!"
"I care about him, I really do. He has been through so much this past year… I can't hurt him!"
"Well, you need to choose then, him or me. Because, I'm sick of hiding, and going to places where we know he won't be and sneaking over late at night, after you go out with him! I've been putting up with it way too long!"
I sink down onto the floor with my back against the wall. I can hear every word they are saying, every infliction in their voice, every ounce of pity that Maureen holds for me. Pity… that is why we have been together for this long.
"Joanne, you know I choose you, I love you!" Silence, I close my eyes, picturing what is going on in there. Maureen… with another woman… falling in love with a woman… not being in love with me anymore… I don't know what to do, but I have to get out of here. I stand up and spill all the leftovers. "SHIT!" Shit, I didn't mean to say that so loud.
"Mark?" Suddenly Maureen is at the door, blocking the view to the apartment. "What… what are you doing here?"
"I… uh… I was just leaving." I start walking away, but Maureen catches up.
"Mark, wait, I think we need to talk."
I shake my head, letting a tear escape. "No need Maureen, you get out easy, I heard everything." I give her a smile to let her think things are ok.
"Pookie…" She grabs my shoulders.
"Don't… just leave me alone, ok? And don't call me that anymore."
"Fine, I'm sorry, Mark… I'm really sorry." I pull even further away from her. "I want you in my life though, I can't imagine you not being in it. I just… I fell in love with her. I wasn't expecting it, but it happened. I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you."
I just keep shaking my head, wanting to leave, but frozen still. "Why… why didn't you tell me?"
"Truth is Mark, I thought you knew. After you read my journal, I assumed you figured it out."
"I told you, I didn't read it."
"Yeah, well, I kind of wish you did, it would have been easier." I walk around her now.
"Just leave me alone Maureen, ok?"
"Mark, promise me we'll be friends… please?"
"Fine, whatever."
"You'll still be my production manager?" I can't believe she is even asking me this at a time like this, just shows how selfish she is.
"Fine, yes, just let me go home, ok?" I bolt down the stairs onto the street, the tears blinding me.