Part 1

A stunned Buffy Summers was sitting on a chair in Xander's apartment a few tears had made their way down her face and were falling onto the table next to the computer. She had no idea his feelings were like this, he had always be the strongest one every time something happened to one of them he had been there and had helped them thought it.

Willow: Loss of Jesse, her teenage angst even when it was about him, that demon in the computer, she lost Oz, lost everything at one point or another. Xander has always stepped up and helped her.

Giles: Giles had had it rough, even if he would never admit it he had always been helped by Xander- his comic ability and his friendship had helped the librarian after everything.

Anya: She was human for the first time in 1000 years but Xander still stuck with her- her had always loved her, she was annoying and rude and self absorbed. Xander saw through everything and helped her no matter what but when she disappeared on him she really broke him. He had never been so upset with himself as he had been when he let her go.

Cordelia: Xander had always been her biggest enemy- the only guy that ever could fight her on her own terms. He had changed herb completely she was no longer the person she was. Now she was a caring, beautiful and sensitive person who had helped others more than herself.

ME: What can I say he knows me more than I ever knew myself without him I would be dead, insane, lost. I never want him to leave me he's the only person who I trust with myself, he only man that I never put my life in the hands of, I couldn't do it with anyone else, not Angel not Riley and not Giles. Xander was the only one.

'Sigh'

She wiped her face and walked towards the door, she leaned her head again the doorframe and composing herself she walked out the door and away from the apartment she had a little to think about.

Half an hour later.

Xander Harris was whistling whilst trying to get his key in the door while carrying several bags of shopping. A habit he had got into lately by buying all the stuff for the next week he had more time to do stuff. He moved into the room and set the stuff on the counter. He looked around to see his computer on with the screen up.

*Damn I thought I'd shut that down.*

He sat down in the chair and started to type again- he let the thought flow through his fingers as his imagination flowed into the story. Everything he created was based on reality his life and thoughts all went into the story. Changing a few things he wrote some of the most dangerous and disturbing bits of his life maybe people would see this man in the story for who he was.

Alexander Harris walked down the roads of Sunnydale for the final time, his entire life had been in this town he had grown up and fallen in love in this town. His life had got more and more complicated since the arrival of the beautiful blonde who was the last of the people in his life- Buffy Summers. He had never denied he had been attracted to her, but the night she was killed and he had brought her back he had admitted to himself that he loved her and always would, enough that he had gone against all the others in his life and force his greatest enemy to help him find the woman he loved.

*Flashback*

"Look I don't like you, at the end of the day I think you're a Bastard. But Buffy's got a big old yen for you."

"You love her don't you." Replied Angel

"Don't you."

The two of them made their way down to the lair of the Master a powerful vampire that Buffy was at that moment facing. They finally made their way into the underground cavern and when they got there what Xander saw stopped his and froze his soul- a cold that would never been undone.

"She's dead." Said Angel

"No not if she drowned maybe there's a chance CPR!"

"You'll have to do it I can't remember??"

Xander started the compression on Buffy's heart all thought fled his mind, space and time had no meaning. Nothing existed except this woman and his attempt to save her- he WOULD NOT let her go, not this time, not ever. He promised himself that if he ever managed to save her life here he would do anything to save her life no matter what.
She started to breathe and to cough up water.

"Welcome back to the land of the living Buff."

"Xander??".


His thought then drifted to the next year, Angel had finally gone insane and was systematically trying to kill or destroy his enemies all that stood between him and this destruction were: His former love and the one person who scared him- Buffy Summers, One Man who kept an eye on his protege and her friends- Rupert Giles, A genius hacker and brilliant mind- Willow Rosenberg. Her boyfriend and dangerous man when annoyed Daniel Osbourne. A teacher and wicca Jenny Calender, and two normal but brave humans Cordelia Chase and Alexander Harris.

Angel had started killing several people at random and through some type of ability resurrect several of the dead, he had managed to resurrect them. One night Xander and Buffy had come across one of these newly undead.

Buffy summers signed the book of friends for the young woman in the casket- she had known her from school- yet another person she failed, she couldn't help but feel that she should have done something. Within second the undead girl was up and trying to kill Buffy. The girl said three words that froze Buffy who stopped fighting.

"Angel says hello."

Just as the girl was about to kill Buffy it screamed and turned to just. Behind her Xander had grabbed a stand broken of one of it's legs and pushed it through her heart. He helped Buffy up and held her as she began to shake, he held her as she looked up at him and they froze there for a few seconds.

*Buffy- I can't not know this isn't the right time.*

*Why are you always there for me Xander.*

A subconscious agreement meant they let each other go , they left the room and walked out into the night.

********

Xander stopped writing and thought about downloading it into a Website he had been told about.- he logged onto Fanfiction.net and downloaded in into a newly created author section.



A few minutes later in L.A.

Cordelia was flipping through a few WebPages and picked up on one called Fanfiction.net she opened it and went to the newest stories section. She looked at one of them and opened it up.

"What the hell." She murmured and picked up her cell phone she had to tell Angel and Wesley about this.