12:30 pm
Okay, must make a list:
Reasons for confrontation with Josh:
-Love him
-Will finally hear him say he likes me to my face
-Won't have to come up with strategies anymore (taking their intellectual toll)
-Could get past this awkward stage and move forward with my life as biological clock ticks onward
-Won't die gored by cats
Reasons against confrontation with Josh:
-Lose whole Queen of the Masochists thing
-Find out that he really doesn't like me at all or too chicken to tell me
-Will make work situation more awkward as dating the boss and will piss off CJ
-Will have to confess well kept secret of great hearing
-Relationship could fail miserably then lose job along with love of my life
Hmmm. Tough call. Maybe if I make another list..GAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It's Josh walking over to me.How the hell did he know I was here? Did he follow --
"Donna."
"Uh, hi, Josh."
"What are you doing here?"
"Writing."
"Okay, yeah. I get that. Writing what?"
"Stuff." Shut the diary. If only I could eat the evidence.
"Uh-huh. So I take it it's not work related?"
"No."
"And you just thought you'd sneak away to write, what was it? Non-work related stuff in the Sculpture Garden in the middle of the day because?"
"You need to make time for yourself, Josh."
"I do- I just don't generally choose the times when I'm supposed to be at work."
"Consider this a lunch break."
"You're not having lunch."
"But I could be eating if I wasn't writing, because this is generally lunchtime."
"You don't go to lunch until one."
"Well, now I'm going to lunch with the rest of the world who don't have slave-drivers for bosses."
"I'm a slave-driver?"
"Yes."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"Says who?"
"Says me." Yes. We do work at the White House. One of us is very influential in running the country. Sheds the light on a few things, doesn't it? "I think I can claim authority on knowing the Joshua Lyman personality- which includes several other minor personalities, of good and bad alike, one of which is the slave driver."
He's giving me a weird look now, cocking his head to the side and looking at me like I'm nuts, yet getting extremely amused by my apparent ridiculousness. I can tell cuz the laugh lines near his eyes appear and the copyrighted smirk falls into place. With his hair sticking out in disheveled tufts , oooh-
Good God, woman pull yourself together! You are a writer. Inner poise! Zen Buddha! Cherry Blossom Peacefulness!
"So why are you here?" Counter that, Mr. Ivy League. Betcha were following me. Betcha betcha betcha.
"I, uhI"
Wimp. "Cuz you better get back. Joey will be looking for you." Always the assistant first.
"Huh?"
"Your lunch appointment. With Joey Lucas? You said you'd meet her at quarter of, which has been and gone-"
"I have only twenty til-"
"Your watch sucks."
He smiles. A big grin stretches across his face. The first honest-to-God, genuine Lyman grin of the week. Can't help but smile back to that one.
"You should really go. Now," I say firmly, looking as if I'm going to start writing again. Take the hint.
"Donna- this, this thing with Joey- you know it's not going to work out."
"Why not? There are plenty of good reasons why-"
"Donna! It's not going to work." Love you, love you, love you! "And I swear to God, if you so much as mention rosebuds, I'll"
"Fine. You're still going to be late." And did I mention I have the utmost respect for you at this moment?
"Will you forget Joey Lucas! There is no thing, there are no signs. I'm not in love with her!"
If you asked me right now, coffee for the rest of your days baby!
"So maybe for a while, she seemed pretty appealing and I got a suit"
"Your special suit." Glare at me, I am impervious. It was your special suit and you know it. And you know I know it.
"And gave her a damn mug but that was it! Nothing more! I don't call her, I don't fixate on her or dream about her or want to date her or marry her and have nine kids in Nebraska!"
"Nebraska? Who the hell would want to live in Nebraska? And with nine kids?"
"DONNA!"
"Whoa, Josh, fine. Okay? Fine. I promise, no more pestering if that's the way you want it."
"You don't understand-"
"Yes I do. You don't want to go out with Joey Lucas and you never want me to mention gathering rosebuds again."
"Donna-"
"Oops, mentioned them, didn't I?" I babble when I'm nervous. It's a habit. "Sorry. It won't happen again."
"I do all those things for somebody else."
Said so quietly that had I not such aural gifts I doubt I would have been able to pick it up. EEK! Play it dumb or question him? What to do?
He's giving me a look. I would say that it was Puppy Dog face but it was much more intense. Like he means for me to make the intellectual leap. A look that says what I've known all along.
"Donna? Are you alright?" Must be gaping. Coherent sentences are beyond me right now. Can you maybe wait a day or two when my brain begins to function again?
"Josh"
"Look, I'm going to head back. You wanna hotdog or pretzel or something?"
"Josh Lyman, the true ladies' man. Do I get a drink too?"
"Will I get coffee tomorrow?"
"No."
"You're so damn picky."
"Joshua-"
"Can we get a move on here? I'm really hungry. Didn't have breakfast." Sheepish grin.
Knew that him getting there early was fixed! I simply smile back.
"Certainly." I will take my time though. Just to see his face. He likes it when I annoy him. Really.
"My lady," he says, offering me his arm.
"Joshua."
And we got lunch, strolling down the Mall under the cherry blossoms' bows.
9:16 pm
Am very very happy. Couldn't be more blissful. Yeah so he never said the words. Big deal. It's not like we can really date with any kind of feasibility or CJ will descend upon us with venom. But there are lunches and banter and politics to keep us together for a while longer.
And then who knows?
Fin