Disclaimer: Marvel own the world.
Author's Notes: The bits in bold and italics are either Bobby's mind talking to him or his power of suggestion. Enjoy and keep it frosty.
Kurt didn't fancy himself much as an artist but now he could see why Peter enjoyed the sheer act of creation so much. Though the midday sun soon caused them to deform, he was very proud of his ice sculptures, each of them representing a different member of the team. He had done a number of them facing each other on the main drive leading into the academy.
He was just beginning his self-portrait when one of the mansion's cars pulled up next to him. The window slid down and a well groomed, freshly shaved and trimmed man looked back at him. Kurt frowned as he struggled to realise who it was. The voice gave it away.
"There's no way my ass is that big."
"Herr Logan, I didn't recognize you without your…hair, Herr Logan." Kurt said, still slightly baffled.
"Try saying that ten times quickly?"
"Why all dressed up?" Kurt said indicating to the rather expensive suit that Logan was wearing.
Logan looked down, almost forgetting for a moment how he appeared.
"Oh this, well there's this cigar place in town that's real exclusive and they won't let you in the door unless you're presentable, ya know? So now that I can appear presentable I'm going to enjoy a nice pleasant day away from the funny farm and sample some Cubans."
"Enjoy yourself."
"Sure will, Kurt, I sure will," Logan replied as he pulled out of the driveway.
From her vantage place atop the rooftops Marie watched the car pull away and sighed to herself. There goes another one. She was running out of men quickly.
For the entire duration of the morning, she had been searching for a guy, any guy, to snuggle up with while she still could. It seemed that they were all too busy playing with their newfound powers to be interested in more mundane relationship stuff.
She had played with her power for a bit too, but moving stuff around with your mind wasn't as riveting as Jean sometimes made it look. No, what she wanted to do was experience the bond that Jean mentioned that she had with Scott. But so far no joy.
*BAMF*
Marie almost jumped when the professor appeared out of thin air in his wheelchair. He balanced the thing carefully on the top of the roof, having to adjust quickly for every little gust of wind that came along and threatened to send him plummeting downward.
"Ah Marie. I was just coming…oh…sorry, gust of wind. I was just coming up here to admire Kurt's handiwork. Mmmm, I never realised Logan's ass was so big."
They both laughed though Xavier stopped suddenly when he almost toppled backwards.
"I could have picked a better spot." He concluded. "What brings you up here, child?"
"Just trying to figure stuff out, Ah guess."
Xavier nodded, knowing instinctively what was troubling her.
"I'm guessing man trouble." He ventured.
"Lack of men is the trouble." She replied in an agitated voice.
"Ah have a chance to be close to someone for the first time in months and everyone's too busy to even notice me. They're all too busy playing superheroes."
Xavier nodded. It was time for some of his patented home spun wisdom.
"Marie, I have found from years of observing and have…ooohh…sorry, and even having some experience in the field to know that the way to a man's heart is through his SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
A double whammy of wind suddenly caught the professor off guard and he went careening forward, over the lip of the roof and out into thin air.
"HHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT *BAMF*"
And then he was gone.
Marie frowned for a moment. The way to a man's heart was through his shi…Oh now come on! She was desperate but she wasn't that desperate. She started to clamber back down, still thinking about the strangest bit of advice yet she had heard Xavier give.
"I'm sorry Honey, I didn't mean it." A truly apologetic Scott Summers began.
"Listen to me Scott and listen to me very carefully…" Jean said, her face contorted in anger.
"It was an accident, I forgot." Scott continued pleading.
"Sure you did, you just keep away from me you soul sucking jerk." And with that proclamation she strode off into the depths of the mansion.
And all he had done was give her a quick reassuring touch on the hand.
Bloody powers.
"This way, you table is ready sir."
"Thank you, my good man."
Logan sat at the table and folded out an unsightly crease before carefully sifting through the assorted cigars on the table in front of him. He felt like a kid in a candy store. The waiter returned with a glass of cognac. He laid it on the table next to the assortment of cigars.
"Sir if I may, this is a particularly fine leaf."
Logan pursed his lips and nodded. He took the cigar and rolled it between his fingers before inhaling its odour. Exquisite.
"Yes, I think I will try this."
The man held out a lighter and Logan gazed at it for a moment, images of a huge fireball coming into his mind. Logan buried it quickly as the man ignited the tip of his cigar. He took a chest full of it in and suddenly he was in nirvana.
Remy was as giddy as a ten your old school girl.
"And you will not believe what she have beneath her bed."
John and Bobby both squealed in laughter as Remy filled them in all the sordid details of what was in everyone's bedrooms.
Remy stopped laughing and suddenly his face grew semi serious as he looked at Bobby.
"Eh Bobby, since when you been a fan of Mariah Carey?"
Bobby stopped guffawing instantly as the other two exploded into laughter. He narrowed his eyes and looked at them both.
You will both forget this conversation took place, you will forget about the Mariah Carey CD.
The two boys stopped laughing for a moment and they looked momentarily confused.
"So you were saying about the what was beneath her bed." Bobby started.
"Oh yeah, well she has the most enormous…"
"Phew that was a close one," Booby thought to himself. "I'll have to hide that bloody CD"
"I don't know at all Jubilee, what I am going to do?" Marie asked.
Jubilee who had returned to her room straight after breakfast wasn't feeling on top of the world either.
"You think you got it bad, I've got to wear these stupid things." She said as she indicated to the goggles that seemed a little too large for her small face.
"Am Ah ugly?"
"It's hard to tell, honey, 'cause everything looks a shade of red at the moment." Jubilee said half jokingly, but saw, in crimson, that it wasn't appreciated. Tough crowd she thought to herself.
"Okay who'd ya try?"
"The easy guys. I tackled John down in the kitchen but he was away in a world of his own."
"No change there then."
"No not really, then I looked for Remy but he's too busy breaking into people's rooms."
Jubilee nodded, haven gotten a shock when she emerged from the toilet to find Remy looking through her top drawer. He had smiled sheepishly and said that he thought it was Scott's room before phasing out the door at high speed.
"I went looking for Logan but Kitty says it seems he's turned into Mr. GQ Smooth and has headed off into town."
"My, you have been the regular slut wannabe, haven't you?" Jubilee joked.
Marie looked like she might start crying.
"Aw cheer up. You still haven't tried the human hormone have you?"
"What?"
"Bobby. You know Bobby, if it can wear a skirt and get away with it, he's interested. But a word of advice, take it easy, guys for some reason don't like to feel that they are being pursued…
…At that very moment on an island off the coast…
Still fighting the inclination to kill something and eat it raw, Eric had remained in bed all morning and well into the afternoon. He could hear the crashing outside as Toad got used to flinging metal things around.
CRASH
There goes the helicopter. Well, he'll be the one fixing it so he's only hurting himself.
"Oh Eric," a voice called seductively from the doorway.
He took the pillow from off his head and looked over. Mystique was standing provocatively by the door. She licked her lips with her tongue, which in and of itself wasn't bad except for the fact her tongue almost stretched to his face before looping back to her full lips.
"I thought we might try something different." She said lustily.
"Oh dear," Eric thought before retreating beneath the pillow again…
…Back to the room…
…They want to be ones doing all the running. They obviously enjoy getting rejected or something."
Marie nodded as if this was the wisest thing she had ever heard and got up to leave before remembering her manners.
"You okay all by yourself."
"Sure, girl. I'm going to sleep off the curse of Scott Summers and wake up tomorrow a happy firecracker. I expect to hear all about you and the boy of slush in the morning."
Marie blushed as she made her way out the door in search of that very boy.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeee," John proclaimed as he took flight off the rooftop. However, he now noted with some alarm that he was falling more then flying. Kurt watched him below with some concern, especially as he was heading on a direct line for one of his sculptures.
There were a few muffled curses as John collided with the large ice likeness of one of the X-Men.
He emerged damp, cold but unhurt, and with a big smile on his face.
"Man, I'm lucky Logan's got such a big ass or that could have been painful…You couldn't make another embankment, could you Kurt 'cause I've really got to do this again."
Kurt sighed as John took off into the academy to climb to the roof again. He began making a nice soft runway for Kurt.
"So I sez to him, buddy, I'm going to stick my claw through your big fat gut of you don't give me my drink."
A thoroughly drunk Logan was explaining all this to the embarrassed owner of the cigar shop. The owner smiled politely at some of the other customers and indicated that Logan obviously couldn't handle his drink. After all, he had had very little. As his immune system wasn't doing its usual bang up job, Logan was feeling for perhaps the first time in a long time what it was to feel after one (or two) too many.
"I think I better call you a cab."
"Call me a cad! You swine. Why I ought to…"
And he collapsed on the floor, before getting to finish what was no doubt an incredible threat.
"…Sorry Bobby, I zoned out there for a minute."
"Don't worry 'bout it Mr. Summers. I best be going anyway."
"Okay, sure, Bobby."
Summers watched him leave while he tried in vain to remember what it was they were talking about.
Bobby smirked to himself. This was the easiest 100% he was ever going to get. No wonder Xavier was a Professor. All he had to do was plant the right suggestion and he could become anything he wanted.
Having taken care of that piece of business it was time to destroy some incriminating evidence. Mariah Carey CD, time to die.
He walked happily to his room as Remy phased out of another door.
"Eh, Bobby, Rogue be looking for you."
"Yeah? Okay…D'you find anything interesting?"
"Nah, I'll keep looking though."
"You do that."
And Remy phased into the next room as Bobby went in through the door of his.
He reached under the loose floorboard and removed the CD. He was thinking about the best new place to hide it someone knocked on his door.
"Crap" he mumbled to himself as he stuffed the CD down the front of his pants.
"Oh hi…Rogue…What's up?"
"Can Ah come in?"
"Uh…Sure I guess…Come in, be welcome."
She came in and looked around, always amazed at the sheer volume of junk Bobby manage to gather. She looked at Bobby and saw he was standing awkwardly.
"Is something wrong, Bobby?"
"What…oh nothing, I think I pulled a muscle today or something." He smiled as he spoke though his brain was laughing at him.
Tell her the truth you
dork. Tell her you have a Mariah Carey CD stuffed down the front of your pants.
She'll get a kick out of that.
"What's up anyway, Rogue?" Bobby asked, eager to get her out of his bedroom as quickly as possible. Now who'd have thought that he'd ever want that to happen? Bloody Mariah Carey.
"Well, as you know…"
Gee, she looks cute don't
you think?
Shut up brain, I can't
think about that now. There's not enough room downstairs as it is with that
bloody CD. Getting all excited is not going to help.
"…feel a connection like Jean. And well you and Ah have always been close so…"
But look at her. That
face, those lips, and don't get me started on the body.
Oh dear god, please brain,
I'm begging you to shut up, you're killing me here.
"…so what it comes down to Bobby, is that Ah want you."
"What?"
What?
Goddamn you brain, you distracted me when I should I have been listening.
Marie looked at him curiously, thinking that she had laid it out very simply for him. It was Bobby after all. Maybe he just needed an incentive or something. She slowly started taking off her top.
Oh my god brain, she's taking off her top, what do I do?
Ah…ah…Run!
Good idea.
And like many noble men before him, in the face of overwhelming odds, Robert Drake esq. ran (awkwardly) from the room.
Having got her top off, Marie looked around at the empty room.
"Bobby?"
He was after doing a runner.
"That's it. From this moment on, Ah am having nothing to do with men or boys." She declared as she began putting her top back on.
As the night drew on and people started to retire to bed, Scott Summers went to the Professor's office for their appointed meeting. He saw it was empty but decided to wait anyway. Then *BAMF* there he was sitting opposite him.
"Might as well enjoy it, it'll be gone soon." The professor said devilishly.
"So Scott, what's the damage been this year."
"Well, Kitty pretty much destroyed everything she touched. Jubilee's room will have to be repaired. Logan was bailed out for being drunk and disorderly. There's a mountain of slush out the front, which John spent the day diving into. Every room in the building was broken into or rather phased into though nothing was taken. Other then that, the usual inter personnel conflicts."
The Professor smiled. "Did you see how scarred Robert Drake looked at dinner?"
"Yeah, something must have really spooked him. All I can say is thank goodness this only happens once a year."
The professor nodded though secretly he wouldn't mind too much if it were a bi-annual event.
And as always, on an island off the coast, another mutant disagreed with Xavier in the strongest possible terms.
"Stop floating the bed, Toad, I'm warning you."
The end…until next year.