AUTHORS NOTE
In this fanfiction, there are many planned twists and turns in the plot, mostly revolving around its namesake, 'Anagrams, Dictophones and a sky blue dove'. It contains material about HOMOSEXUAL men, but only light, it concentrates more on other issues. (Namely Harry). I appreciate all reviews, complimentary or critical, but please don't review me saying that 'Harrys not gay' or 'You are sick'. They don't help anyone! There is no sex (although there is one very mild reference) or violence in chapter 1; there may be in future chapters. There is moderate occasional swearing. Please just give the first chapter a chance, it gets more exciting as it goes on (promise!). It is advised to look at characters names, carefully, very carefully, and you might just be able to work the whole thing out...
Yours sincerely, Cornelius Fudge aka Chloe [chloeakers@hotmail.com]




*Turns dictophone on.*

"Interview with Mr Harry James Potter, 18th September, 2003, for magazine Hello."

So, Mr Potter, in your own time, would you like to tell us how your ordeal started?
I couldn't believe it when it happened, actually, Erin. I really couldn't. I... well, I suppose I've come out of the closet now, whatever Ar.. whatever anyone ever thinks.

What do you mean by 'out of the closet'?
Oh, you know... I've finally... [chokes].. come out that I'm... gay. Oh my god, thats the first time I've said it outright, I mean, I've always relyed on hints before to tell people... to tell Hermione...

How would you say Hermione has helped you through this ordeal, Harry?
Oh, shit, she's been supportive, and I mean.. like.. really supportive. She stuck by me like glue, Ms Henger, she really has. I wouldn't be able to cope without her. Whether its been organising ways for me to meet other guys, or helping me talk... she knows me inside out.. [laughs]... but she's with Ronald now, and his family don't welcome me... lets say... as much as they used to. [strangled voice].

What makes you think that they don't welcome you into their home?
I'd already told Ronald, you see, and... I think he could be described as a little homophobic. Very homophobic, in fact. And Molly got all protective of him... didn't want me around him. Arthur was more involved. He abused me, emotionally, that is to say, he just couldn't bring himself to touch me physically, thought that I would try and take Ronald away from him. I mean, he's not even gay, you're born with your sexuality and no-one can change it. Thats what Mione thinks, too... but she stays away from me, now, what with being with Ronald and all.

You grew up with muggles. How did they react when you told them you were homosexual?
Look, I don't know whether I want a magazine knowing about my personal life, Doris, I don't. I couldn't cope with any more taunts, or...

So you've been taunted, then, because of your sexuality?
Who hasn't. Even people that aren't gay get taunted. I've been called a whore, even though I... I... I've never slept with anyone... well you're not putting that in the damn magazine, give me that dictophone. I said give me the DAMN DICTOPHONE!

No. Mr Potter, do you wish to end the interview?
Goddamnit. Goddamnyou. Goddamn the whole, bloody world.

*Turns dictophone off*

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! THEY FUCKING PUBLISHED IT!" screamed Harry.
"Language, Harry, Language," said Dumbledore, sharply, and then, in a softer tone of voice, said "I believe that this goes against the code of conduct for the magazine Hello. You could apply to one of those americanised claim things; get some compensation.."
"No. I'm not having the courts watch me, whisper about me, KNOW about me.. well most of them already do..."
"Rest assured Harry, that not one of the judges will have read 'Hello'"
"And you know that how?," said Harry, sarcastically.
"I will not be spoken to like that," said Dumbledore, "If you wish me to leave you here," his voice was softer now, "then I can be out of here with a silent sweep of my cloak..."

center***/center

There was much champagne at the head office at Hello. Owls were simply flooding in from all over the country on the article which had just been published in the shops. Doris Crockford had been promoted, and all was well. All was settled.
"Ferraro Roché, Erin?" offered the editor, a deppressed-looking warlock with shoulder length gray hair, "And," he said, quietly, "a word in my office, please."
Erin, obviously expecting a higher promotion, was oblivious to the numerous wizards wirelesses he switched off, and the number of champagne bottles he 'accidently' knocked from the desks, and she waltzed into the leather chair opposite his desk of stained oak which bore the ingraving "Lord Samuél De Bambui".
"I have some news for you," intoned the Lord.
"Some... news?" replyed Erin, looking excited. She started to pick at the edge of the leather chair expectantly.
"Yes. Not good, I may add. In fact," he now looked grim and dutiful," A colleague of yours has been taken dead. Discovered..." He broke of, sweating.
"Yes? Discovered...?" Erin did not resemble the cocky, sure of herself witch she had once been. She now looked broken, and sincerely worried.
"Discovered on the night of the Voldemort attack in Albania!"
"Who... what... how? Why tell me?" she replyed distantly.
"Mrs Skeeter, first name Rita," said The Lord gently.
"Not Rita. No. It can't be. Not her, my best friend... no. Samuél!"
"I know... I know, (A/N: CLUE!) Erin.."
Erin erupted into tears, and poured her soul out to the man who called himself Samuél.

center***/center

Floyd O'Carma was picking out a necklace for his disgusting pug-faced (A/N: CLUE!) girlfriend. He eventually setled on a gilded locket; solid gold. He loved the way he could turn it in the sunlight, and it would glint, reflecting his eye. He sighed. Lucius. Why had he never accepted him? But they were still friends.. well, if you could call them that, he supposed. Floyd paid for the locket and then walked out of the shop, marvelling, still, after all these years, how he had managed to fashion his new name... like the Lord Voldemort did, really, mincing the letters of his name and moulding them. He'd discovered how to do that in his Hogwarts arithmancy class, with that filthy mudblood, who was best friends with...

center***/center

"Harry! I've come to talk to you... we need to talk... I... I... don't know, but..."
"I know. Ron... I know. You couldn't accept me. You preffered the all-in-the-limelight Harry, the one which might have promised you a bit of fame in your life, the only person who liked you..."
"I came to talk to you. I came to try and repair our friendship... you meant a lot to me. Just not... not in that way, Harry."
"Yeh. Well, as far as I'm concerned, you have my best friend in bed every night. She loves you. And you've made her hate me, filling her head with ideas about whats wrong with me, why I'm attracted to other men.."
"I know why you're attracted to other men. Because you're a p...," Ron couldn't bring himself to insult his best friend of long, long ago.
Ron walked away, and Harry was left wondering why Ron ever came up to him, why he ever wanted to be his friend, why, why? He took his pensieve and pulled out Ron, Hermione, M... no, he was called Floyd, the filthy little... Maybe he should send an owl to Albus, let him know what had happened. Harry picked up his eagle feather quill and some parchment and began to write;

Albus,
I've just had a bit of an ordeal with Ron. He came up to me and I sort of lost control. It was awful, well and truly awful. Where are you now? -I was looking for you at lunch. Ah well. Anyway, I'm sorry about yesterday, when I was really, you know, disrespectful to you. You don't deserve it, and it was thoughtless of me.
Apologies and friendship always,
Harry

He signed the letter with his impressive signature and began to melt some wax to apply his seal, which he'd had specially made in Flourish and Blotts. It was interesting, a remenant he had discovered on one of the photogrphs of his parents, and had the same layout of the Hogwarts seal. However, there were none of the houses on it, and instead a silver necklace, three red, blue and white (although the green wax concealed it) stripes, a single sky blue dove and a gleaming ruby, all encircled around the large copperplate letter P. He couldn't deciper it all; it was pretty obvious after a lot of thought that the ruby represented Griffindor, and was similar to that which had appeared on his Godric Griffindor sword, but apart from that it was all totally foreign.
Harry attatched the letter to Hedwig, still as young-at-heart as ever, and watched her fly off into the distance.

center***/center

In the city, a large snowy owl fluttered into the offices of Hello and began to search for its recipient.

In his mansion, the Lord Wayne Seal sat down and pondered his double identity. Carefully. Very carefully.

In his office, Albus also sat down and, also, pondered...