Always Epilogue
By Bob R
Sunnydale
The Magic Shop
10 Mins later
3 hours after the start of the writing.
They had finished reading the writing, there was no doubt now who the writer was. He had managed to tell everyone about the fights but in such a way that nothing about the slayer, the Council, vampires or demon dimensions. He had made it so it sounded both real and fictional.
Around the computer the three girls were sobbing their eyes out, Willow and Tara were holding each other while Giles was holding Buffy and Dawn who had appeared during the first few sentences of the reading of the fic. They had no idea that Xander was like this, his feeling, his emotions they had played with them and pulled them apart with pieces of string. None of them had realised quite how badly they must have hurt him, every piece of his life had been pulled out and examined, every lie, every problem they had put his through was there.
LA and Sunnydale
Cordelia was crying into Wesley's arms, Wesley himself was shocked at everything that they had done to him. He never liked Xander, but now unlike Angelus he respected the strength of the boy and his courage for his friends. If they ever became friends he would be honoured to be his friend. Wesley's surprise was that such a normal human could do so much for the cause- NO *FOR HIS FRIENDS.*
Cordelia Picked up her cell phone and called Sunnydale.
"Hello Giles"
"Hello Cordelia we just finished reading it, yes umm. We haven't seen him in a day or two- we think he's back from a construction job now. Buffy Said she went to his apartment and that there had been someone in there."
"Well, if you see him tell him to come up to LA I'd like to talk to him OK."
"Very well Cordelia and thank you for telling us about the story." He put the phone down.
"We have to talk to him." Whispered willow, "How could we have done all that to him without realising it. I..." she stopped not knowing what to say. Everything that he had done in 5 years had come out, his bravery and dedication but one thing among others- THE LIE.
"He lied to me Willow." Her tears were still flowing, "He lied about Angel and the spell. How could he do that to me."
"My guess would be- if he hadn't you would be dead and the world would have turned to hell." Said Willow.
Buffy looked up at her friend with tears still in her eyes, she knew the redhead was right but she couldn't be sure what to say. He feelings were confused more now than they were before, her feelings for Xander had always been a closed book. She felt things for him- most women who didn't were blind or stupid- her self included.
She had wanted to jump on him when he came back from his road trip but couldn't get up the nerve. She was afraid that if she got as close as she wanted to that he would leave her alone, everything she had been able to do had been because of him, his heart had given them all strength when they couldn't go on.
The door to the shop opened as she looked round at it, there on the step was Xander,
"Hey guys" he said cheerily, "Whoa who died around here." He had no idea of what was going on, he walked in dropping his bag onto the counter. He looked at the tear-streaked girls and a surprisingly sombre look on Giles' face.
"Xander, we know."
"Know what G-man." He asked seriously. Giles then turned the screen on the computer around and showed him the page, Xander approached it and looked.
"Oh Shit." He whispered.
"Why didn't you tell us any of this Xander." Asked Willow, she approached her friend and looked him in the eyes, she noticed with a start that a big part of the cloudiness in his soul was gone- she could see it in his eyes. He had finally told people what had happened and now he was free of a massive burden in his life.
"Tell you what, Willow. That I was almost killed several times drove away demons and vampires when I was thought no good at that. At the time anyone would have thought I was trying to get brownie points or some thing. I didn't want anyone to know." His voice had got louder and louder. He stopped and composed himself.
"For most of my life I've been told I'm useless, I should do this or that. That time with the sisterhood was it for me. I may have no powers or anything but I can hold my own in a fight." He looks up- "Every one of you has criticised me or made me feel like crap- with the exception of Dawn over there. Well now you know why I took it because I knew what I was capable of and what I could do. It was about time you figured out that I'm not just Xander Harris Funny Guy anymore,"
With that he turned, grabbed his bag and walked out the door.
Buffy Summers had watched her friend come in and leave again without saying a word, she heard his speech and remembered all he had written. She made a decision that would wither destroy or change her life forever- she ran after him.
It was raining in Sunnydale, pouring down so hard that you couldn't see more than two feet in front of you, Buffy summers didn't care she knew where he was going somewhere full of good memories, of somewhere where he could think and remember.
He was going Home.
She ran through the rain following the path she knew by heart- she had spent most of her time there recently- ever since Dawn had moved in with Giles she had spent more and more time there. She had slept there a few times sometimes on the sofa with Xander next to her, she had never let her feelings get in the way of their friendship until now. She had made her way to the steps of the building Xander's apartment was in, she stopped and stared at the building, did she have the right to go up there and talk to him.
"Hello Buffy." A voice came from behind her.
"Hello Xander." She replied she couldn't look up into his eyes if she did she would lose what little control she had completely. Her emotions and thoughts were confused and lost all around her mind, things that seemed normal or innocuous at the time now came into startling clarity. Everything he had ever done for her came full force into her thoughts. His holding her, his feelings towards her, everything he had said to make her feel better, even the arguments and his speeches that had hurt him and broken his heart just to make her feel better.
For her entire life she had thought Xander's attitude was jealousy towards Angel and Riley even when he had Cordelia and Anya his feelings had never changed. He had got on well with Riley towards the end- the only person he had met for a while that could be a good male friend to him and again had lost that friendship because of what they did.
First Jesse because of vampires, then Oz because of his warewolfism and lastly Riley because he couldn't take doing what they did. He had lost everyone he cares about at one time or another they had always left him alone, Willow had left him alone after their whole 'Fluke thing'. Cordelia had broken up with him and left for L.A. They had left him alone all during their college freshman year. Mostly of course she had left him alone that summer three years ago.
Everything they had done to him hurt him left him alone and he was still here. Still fighting for them- still in love with her still hurting but never giving up never giving into his fears and his anger.
"You realise now don't you, why I do this for you all and why I'm still here." He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look up at him, his eyes- usually clouded or full of pain was clear for the first time in five years. His hurt, anger, jealousy, pain- everything that weighed on his soul had gone, Buffy's walls of protection holding her soul in and keeping everything out. Her strength and determination all disappeared in that second and she started to sob again, she felt to large strong arms hold onto her and rock her.
"Shhh, Buffy I never told anyone most of those things and I don't know why I wrote that all. Except I meant ever word of - nothing there was untrue. I have loved and always loved my friends. I've lost some I've gained some but Always and forever my single point my only beacon to hold onto in my life has been you. You left us but I knew you would come back, I always wished that I had been there to get you and to bring you back to us. That has been the worst part of my life- knowing I should do something but never being able to."
He pulled away and looked into her eyes making contact with them with his own, the mistiness in her eyes the pain and anger all disappearing under his gaze. He loved her and would always be there for her.
"Buffy You have lost a lot in your life some worse than others, Merrick, Your father, Angel, Kendra, Jenny, Faith, Oz, Riley, Your mother, finding out what Dawn really is. Everything you have has been turned upside down and inside out Buffy. You need your friends and family more than ever in the days ahead. Things will happen that you can't stop but look to your friends and you will be okay."
He moved forward and kissed her, this was just a kiss- no end of the world kiss, no passion that built up over time, no everything I've ever felt kiss- but just a kiss. They only thing this kiss sent to both were that they did love each other and always will. She pulled him to her and held on tight, vice versa for Xander, he knew that some things should be and some shouldn't. With any luck Buffy would be OK after this.
They held each other there in the rain, the darkness of the clouds and the drizzle meant nothing to the two young people finally letting the other into their lives both touching places within that they had never allowed anyone else.
"I love you Buffy." He said, he pulled away and let go "I want you to go back to the shop, I'll meet you there I need to do something first." She hesitated not wanting to let him go but had to. She nodded unable to speak, he kissed her on the lips one more time before she left for the shop. Hey eyes and face had started to shine, she had finally found at least one person to be happy with. A joyous smile lit up her face as she looked at him she turned and walked to the shop- the rain was stopping.
"Goodbye Buffy." Said Xander as she got out of earshot.
The magic box
Buffy's smile lit up the room as she walked in, she looked happier than anyone had ever seen her, her smile only faltered when she saw the policeman at the table. She looked at Giles who was having a problem standing up.
"Miss Buffy Summers?"
"Yes I'm Buffy Summers."
"I'm afraid I have bad news Miss summers, perhaps you might want to sit down" she sat down next to Dawn who was holding herself and trying to fathom what had happened. The policeman removed his hat and sat down on a chair.
"Miss Summers, there has been an accident in L.A. an explosion at a construction site caused parts of the building to collapse. There was one casualty- a young man named Alexander Harris was killed saving several members of the construction team, he was said to have got people out of the collapsing building before the wall collapsed onto him. I am sorry Miss but he died instantly, the city of LA will posthumously give an award in his memory." He left the building.
Buffy Heard this and started to scream.
"No he can't be, I can't lose him too. I just told him, Oh my god I never told him." She started to break down totally.
"You didn't tell him what Buffy?1" asked Willow with tears in her eyes.
"That I love him Willow, I just talked to him and he told me he loved me and now he's gone."
"Giles he was here he wrote that story how could he be gone."
Giles was still in shock at losing the boy who was as much a son to him as he could ever want, the young man was a brave and kindly soul as any he had ever met. He had lost another of his family, he had lost more than most people ever should.
"He... He probably had unfinished business on this world and he was.. a.a.allowed to finish it. Everything he did today was probably to change that, his love for Buffy and his achievements had gone unnoticed he had to put peoples views of him right."
The whole group just sat next to each other and held each other for a long time, each remembering the handsome young man who had made their lives special.
Through a gap at one of the top windows, that same young man looked on at them, tears in his eyes he turned and looked at the man beside him.
"Thank you Whistler, for allowing this."
"You deserved it kid- the slayer and her friends are here because of you. You saved the world and everything, as we know it. The powers that be decided you deserved this, You aren't dead Xander but you now have to leave you have a destiny that awaits you."
"OK Whistler." He looked back at his friends one last time. "I'm ready."
The End?
By Bob R
Sunnydale
The Magic Shop
10 Mins later
3 hours after the start of the writing.
They had finished reading the writing, there was no doubt now who the writer was. He had managed to tell everyone about the fights but in such a way that nothing about the slayer, the Council, vampires or demon dimensions. He had made it so it sounded both real and fictional.
Around the computer the three girls were sobbing their eyes out, Willow and Tara were holding each other while Giles was holding Buffy and Dawn who had appeared during the first few sentences of the reading of the fic. They had no idea that Xander was like this, his feeling, his emotions they had played with them and pulled them apart with pieces of string. None of them had realised quite how badly they must have hurt him, every piece of his life had been pulled out and examined, every lie, every problem they had put his through was there.
LA and Sunnydale
Cordelia was crying into Wesley's arms, Wesley himself was shocked at everything that they had done to him. He never liked Xander, but now unlike Angelus he respected the strength of the boy and his courage for his friends. If they ever became friends he would be honoured to be his friend. Wesley's surprise was that such a normal human could do so much for the cause- NO *FOR HIS FRIENDS.*
Cordelia Picked up her cell phone and called Sunnydale.
"Hello Giles"
"Hello Cordelia we just finished reading it, yes umm. We haven't seen him in a day or two- we think he's back from a construction job now. Buffy Said she went to his apartment and that there had been someone in there."
"Well, if you see him tell him to come up to LA I'd like to talk to him OK."
"Very well Cordelia and thank you for telling us about the story." He put the phone down.
"We have to talk to him." Whispered willow, "How could we have done all that to him without realising it. I..." she stopped not knowing what to say. Everything that he had done in 5 years had come out, his bravery and dedication but one thing among others- THE LIE.
"He lied to me Willow." Her tears were still flowing, "He lied about Angel and the spell. How could he do that to me."
"My guess would be- if he hadn't you would be dead and the world would have turned to hell." Said Willow.
Buffy looked up at her friend with tears still in her eyes, she knew the redhead was right but she couldn't be sure what to say. He feelings were confused more now than they were before, her feelings for Xander had always been a closed book. She felt things for him- most women who didn't were blind or stupid- her self included.
She had wanted to jump on him when he came back from his road trip but couldn't get up the nerve. She was afraid that if she got as close as she wanted to that he would leave her alone, everything she had been able to do had been because of him, his heart had given them all strength when they couldn't go on.
The door to the shop opened as she looked round at it, there on the step was Xander,
"Hey guys" he said cheerily, "Whoa who died around here." He had no idea of what was going on, he walked in dropping his bag onto the counter. He looked at the tear-streaked girls and a surprisingly sombre look on Giles' face.
"Xander, we know."
"Know what G-man." He asked seriously. Giles then turned the screen on the computer around and showed him the page, Xander approached it and looked.
"Oh Shit." He whispered.
"Why didn't you tell us any of this Xander." Asked Willow, she approached her friend and looked him in the eyes, she noticed with a start that a big part of the cloudiness in his soul was gone- she could see it in his eyes. He had finally told people what had happened and now he was free of a massive burden in his life.
"Tell you what, Willow. That I was almost killed several times drove away demons and vampires when I was thought no good at that. At the time anyone would have thought I was trying to get brownie points or some thing. I didn't want anyone to know." His voice had got louder and louder. He stopped and composed himself.
"For most of my life I've been told I'm useless, I should do this or that. That time with the sisterhood was it for me. I may have no powers or anything but I can hold my own in a fight." He looks up- "Every one of you has criticised me or made me feel like crap- with the exception of Dawn over there. Well now you know why I took it because I knew what I was capable of and what I could do. It was about time you figured out that I'm not just Xander Harris Funny Guy anymore,"
With that he turned, grabbed his bag and walked out the door.
Buffy Summers had watched her friend come in and leave again without saying a word, she heard his speech and remembered all he had written. She made a decision that would wither destroy or change her life forever- she ran after him.
It was raining in Sunnydale, pouring down so hard that you couldn't see more than two feet in front of you, Buffy summers didn't care she knew where he was going somewhere full of good memories, of somewhere where he could think and remember.
He was going Home.
She ran through the rain following the path she knew by heart- she had spent most of her time there recently- ever since Dawn had moved in with Giles she had spent more and more time there. She had slept there a few times sometimes on the sofa with Xander next to her, she had never let her feelings get in the way of their friendship until now. She had made her way to the steps of the building Xander's apartment was in, she stopped and stared at the building, did she have the right to go up there and talk to him.
"Hello Buffy." A voice came from behind her.
"Hello Xander." She replied she couldn't look up into his eyes if she did she would lose what little control she had completely. Her emotions and thoughts were confused and lost all around her mind, things that seemed normal or innocuous at the time now came into startling clarity. Everything he had ever done for her came full force into her thoughts. His holding her, his feelings towards her, everything he had said to make her feel better, even the arguments and his speeches that had hurt him and broken his heart just to make her feel better.
For her entire life she had thought Xander's attitude was jealousy towards Angel and Riley even when he had Cordelia and Anya his feelings had never changed. He had got on well with Riley towards the end- the only person he had met for a while that could be a good male friend to him and again had lost that friendship because of what they did.
First Jesse because of vampires, then Oz because of his warewolfism and lastly Riley because he couldn't take doing what they did. He had lost everyone he cares about at one time or another they had always left him alone, Willow had left him alone after their whole 'Fluke thing'. Cordelia had broken up with him and left for L.A. They had left him alone all during their college freshman year. Mostly of course she had left him alone that summer three years ago.
Everything they had done to him hurt him left him alone and he was still here. Still fighting for them- still in love with her still hurting but never giving up never giving into his fears and his anger.
"You realise now don't you, why I do this for you all and why I'm still here." He put his hand under her chin and forced her to look up at him, his eyes- usually clouded or full of pain was clear for the first time in five years. His hurt, anger, jealousy, pain- everything that weighed on his soul had gone, Buffy's walls of protection holding her soul in and keeping everything out. Her strength and determination all disappeared in that second and she started to sob again, she felt to large strong arms hold onto her and rock her.
"Shhh, Buffy I never told anyone most of those things and I don't know why I wrote that all. Except I meant ever word of - nothing there was untrue. I have loved and always loved my friends. I've lost some I've gained some but Always and forever my single point my only beacon to hold onto in my life has been you. You left us but I knew you would come back, I always wished that I had been there to get you and to bring you back to us. That has been the worst part of my life- knowing I should do something but never being able to."
He pulled away and looked into her eyes making contact with them with his own, the mistiness in her eyes the pain and anger all disappearing under his gaze. He loved her and would always be there for her.
"Buffy You have lost a lot in your life some worse than others, Merrick, Your father, Angel, Kendra, Jenny, Faith, Oz, Riley, Your mother, finding out what Dawn really is. Everything you have has been turned upside down and inside out Buffy. You need your friends and family more than ever in the days ahead. Things will happen that you can't stop but look to your friends and you will be okay."
He moved forward and kissed her, this was just a kiss- no end of the world kiss, no passion that built up over time, no everything I've ever felt kiss- but just a kiss. They only thing this kiss sent to both were that they did love each other and always will. She pulled him to her and held on tight, vice versa for Xander, he knew that some things should be and some shouldn't. With any luck Buffy would be OK after this.
They held each other there in the rain, the darkness of the clouds and the drizzle meant nothing to the two young people finally letting the other into their lives both touching places within that they had never allowed anyone else.
"I love you Buffy." He said, he pulled away and let go "I want you to go back to the shop, I'll meet you there I need to do something first." She hesitated not wanting to let him go but had to. She nodded unable to speak, he kissed her on the lips one more time before she left for the shop. Hey eyes and face had started to shine, she had finally found at least one person to be happy with. A joyous smile lit up her face as she looked at him she turned and walked to the shop- the rain was stopping.
"Goodbye Buffy." Said Xander as she got out of earshot.
The magic box
Buffy's smile lit up the room as she walked in, she looked happier than anyone had ever seen her, her smile only faltered when she saw the policeman at the table. She looked at Giles who was having a problem standing up.
"Miss Buffy Summers?"
"Yes I'm Buffy Summers."
"I'm afraid I have bad news Miss summers, perhaps you might want to sit down" she sat down next to Dawn who was holding herself and trying to fathom what had happened. The policeman removed his hat and sat down on a chair.
"Miss Summers, there has been an accident in L.A. an explosion at a construction site caused parts of the building to collapse. There was one casualty- a young man named Alexander Harris was killed saving several members of the construction team, he was said to have got people out of the collapsing building before the wall collapsed onto him. I am sorry Miss but he died instantly, the city of LA will posthumously give an award in his memory." He left the building.
Buffy Heard this and started to scream.
"No he can't be, I can't lose him too. I just told him, Oh my god I never told him." She started to break down totally.
"You didn't tell him what Buffy?1" asked Willow with tears in her eyes.
"That I love him Willow, I just talked to him and he told me he loved me and now he's gone."
"Giles he was here he wrote that story how could he be gone."
Giles was still in shock at losing the boy who was as much a son to him as he could ever want, the young man was a brave and kindly soul as any he had ever met. He had lost another of his family, he had lost more than most people ever should.
"He... He probably had unfinished business on this world and he was.. a.a.allowed to finish it. Everything he did today was probably to change that, his love for Buffy and his achievements had gone unnoticed he had to put peoples views of him right."
The whole group just sat next to each other and held each other for a long time, each remembering the handsome young man who had made their lives special.
Through a gap at one of the top windows, that same young man looked on at them, tears in his eyes he turned and looked at the man beside him.
"Thank you Whistler, for allowing this."
"You deserved it kid- the slayer and her friends are here because of you. You saved the world and everything, as we know it. The powers that be decided you deserved this, You aren't dead Xander but you now have to leave you have a destiny that awaits you."
"OK Whistler." He looked back at his friends one last time. "I'm ready."
The End?