AN: Hi all! Due to life in general, I've had to put off writing this part. But school will be over in a month and a half, and I'll start writing more again. But I rant... so, on with the newest Twisted Fairy Tale...
Wufei: This is demeaning, onna.
You pick the part out of the hat, you play the part. Deal.
Twisted Fairy Tales:
Noinerella
A long time ago in a fanfic far, far, away...
A rather wealthy widower and his only daughter lived in a mansion. The daughter was given anything she desired- dresses, a horse, a puppy, even her own Aries. But the man, who obviously hadn't hear of the word "nanny," decided to marry a woman with 2 young bishonen, hoping they would be good playmates with his darling daughter.
Well, he was a little too late. Within several months he died under mysterious circumstances and the stepmother Wufey began to show her cruel and evil side. Her jealousy of her new stepdaughter was only made worse by the fact that she made Wufey's own bishonen look meaner and uglier in contrast.
Wufey quickly went about tampering with her late husband's will, making sure her stepdaughter wouldn't inherit any money. While her bishonen hung out reading manga, the stepdaughter was forced to wear rags, do all the chores, and sleep in the chimney corner. To add insult to injury, her stepbishonen Heero and Trowa decided to call her 'Noinerella.'
But even as her stepmother and sisters slept in cozy chambers with squishy waterbeds, Noinerella stayed happy and cheerful through it all. She became friends with the mice who also resided in her attic room, and named them Sally-ko and Quatre-chan. And together they made up their own happy little family, keeping her company as she made breakfast, gave the dog and horse food, oiled the Aries, and fed the ducks, chickens and moose. As she brought her stepfamily breakfast, they'd give her orders to keep her busy until the wee hours of the next morning.
"Clean my guns and make sure my explosives won't accidentally detonate during the day," Heero demanded.
"Buy me some hair get, pick up the latest issue of "Clowns Monthly", then stand completely still while I chuck knives at your head," Trowa intoned.
"Polish my katana, make sure not a hair gets out of my ponytail, then do penance to Nataku for being born!" Wufei ordered. But even this on a day-to-day basis couldn't ruin Noinerella's cheerful demeanor.
On the other side of the tracks in the 'good' part of town, Queen Relena paced angrily as she conversed with her Grand Duke, Duo. "It's time the prince married and settled down!" cried the hysterical Queen.
"It's not quite so simple, Relena-sama," Duo replied, "first he has to find a girl, fall in love, meet her parents-"
"Right, sure, whatever. Just make him get married! I don't care what you have to do!" Relena grabbed Duo by the collar and started shaking him.
"May I suggest holding a ball and inviting all the young folks in the kingdom? He's bound to fall in love with one of them," Duo asked as he tried to pry Relena's fingers off his brand new suit.
Relena dropped Duo abruptly. "It's brilliant! I love it! Run off and write the invitations!"
"Hai, hai. But do you think you could help me up first? I think I broke my ass..."
Heero and Duo grinned happily as they read the invitations to the Queen's party. But their smiles faded as Noinerella entered the room. "I must come too," she said, pointing at the fine print, "it says, 'By decree of the almighty Queen Relena, all eligible girls must attend.'"
Her stepbishonen fell over laughing. But before they could say anything, Wufey entered the room and glared at all of them. "You may attend the ball, Noinerella- but only if you finish all your chores in time," Heero and Trowa continued to snicker, "and if you have a suitable dress to wear."
All day, as the rest of her evil stepfamily pondered over what they would wear to the ball, Noinerella was kept busier than ever, though she got to listen in on their plans to marry any of them- except Noinerella- off to the prince, then whittle away at his bank account and divorce him once they had made a considerable profit. But as the carriage approached to take the family away, Noinerella had only a few minutes to find a dress. "Better hurry, Noinerella," her stepbishonen taunted, "or you're not coming!"
As Noinerella ran up to her attic room to find something to wear, she noticed a dress lying on her bed that the mice had sown together. Not knowing quite how they had accomplished it but being very happy just the same, she got the dress on and made it down as the carriage parked at the side of the building.
But as Noinerella tried to climb into the car, her stepbishonen angrily tore at her dress. "My gun cleaning cloth!"
"I was going to use that silk for new clown pants!"
"MY 'JUSTICE IS NATAKU' RIBBON!!!!" As Wufey ripped the ribbon off, the dress fell apart into shreds of useless rags. But her stepsisters only cackled as they rode off to the ball.
Noinerella collapsed onto the ground, crying quietly. As Quatre-chan and Sally-ko rushed over to console her, a girl appeared in a flash of sparkly light. "Who are you?" Noinerella asked.
"I am your fairy godcousin, Catherine, and you can't go to the ball looking like that." She pulled a knife out of hammerspace and chucked it at Noinerella. She cringed, but the knife exploded into cherry blossoms as the remainder of Noinerella's ruined dress turned into a magnificent ball gown. "Okay, now I'll need an Aries, mice, a horse and a dog." The mice ran off to get the other things as Catherine put on Noinerella's makeup. After the mice got back, she hurled knives at the mice, Aries, horse, and dog, turning them into stallions, a sparkling coach, a coachman and a footman, respectively.
Catherine stopped Noinerella as she was about to get into the coach. "No matter what, you can't stay later than 3AM. My magic's not what it could be, so the spell won't last forever. Anything that I enchanted will turn back to its original form at 3AM. Have fun!" Catherine continued to wave as Noinerella hopped in the coach and drove off toward the ball. "Kids these days..."
The ball had already started by the time she arrived. Just as Prince Zechs was about to bow to the three-hundred-tenth and eleventh bishonen- Heero and Trowa- he saw the most beautiful girl in the world. Completely forgetting about his three-hundred-twelfth guest- Wufey- he walked over towards Noinerella and led her into the middle of the dance floor.
Prince Zechs refused to even look at another girl the entire evening, only able to stare at the beautiful Noinerella as all the other guests wondered who this enchanting girl might be. Not ever her own stepfamily could recognize who she was. Duo watched contently from the punch bowl, glad that his plan to find Zechs the perfect bride had worked as a love-struck Relena chased Heero around the room.
But as the clock was about to strike 3 Noinerella remembered her promise. Crying in panic, she reluctantly broke away from the prince's grasp and fled out of the palace. As she raced down a flight of stairs, one of her leather pumps fell off, but she continued running towards the door. Just as the clock struck three, the spells vanished and all that was left in front of Noinerella's house was an Aries, her dog, her horse, Sally-ko and Quatre-chan, and the remains of Noinerella's dress. However, the other leather pump still remained on her foot, and she stared at it with amazement.
A frantic Prince Zechs announced that he would marry whoever could fit perfectly into the shoe the girl had left behind at the ball. He sent Duo off to every house in the land to search for the girl who had captured his heart. He tried to fit the shoe on every duchess, princess and baroness in the land, and eventually ended up at Noinerella's house. Wufey, who had planned ahead for this, already ordered Heero to lock Noinerella in her room and Trowa to grease Wufey's foot to help her fit into the shoe. But what they hadn't counted on was Sally-ko, who had deftly snuck into Heero's pocket to steal the key as Quatre-chan distracted him.
Meanwhile, Duo was trying to fit the shoe onto Wufey's foot, but her foot was too big. Wufey grabbed the shoe in frustration and tried to shove in on in a last resort, but it only popped off and landed in the fire. "Oh, crap! Relena-sama's going to fire me now!"
"Don't worry, I have the other shoe right here." Noinerella walked down the stairs, holding out the other leather pump in her hand. Heero and Trowa tried to grab it away, but Noin kept it from them. Duo grinned as the shoe slipped on to Noinerella's foot perfectly, "Congratulations! You're the new princess!" Duo took her to the palace and got her cleaned up, as absolute proof that she was indeed the girl from the night before. Zechs married her immediately, and they lived happily ever after. Heero didn't live quite as happily, since Relena spent the rest of her days chasing after him. Wufey spent most of his time building a shrine to Nataku "For forgiveness," and Trowa and Catherine started a circus for all of Noinerella's pets to star in. So all in all, we can safely state:
They lived.
Mitsukai-hime: ^_^v So, did you like it? Well, go review! Or I'll send-
Chronos: Quatre's on vacation.
*In Aruba*
Quatre on zero: Ahhhh... ahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!
*Back at the ranch*
Mitsukai-hime: *sweatdrop* Uh... I'll send... Heero after you!
Heero: *still running away from Relena* You're on your own!
Mitsukai-hime: I'll give you Sally-ko. Can we do that?
Chronos: Hai!
Mitsukai-hime: Alrighty then! Now go review!!
Wufei: This is demeaning, onna.
You pick the part out of the hat, you play the part. Deal.
Twisted Fairy Tales:
Noinerella
A long time ago in a fanfic far, far, away...
A rather wealthy widower and his only daughter lived in a mansion. The daughter was given anything she desired- dresses, a horse, a puppy, even her own Aries. But the man, who obviously hadn't hear of the word "nanny," decided to marry a woman with 2 young bishonen, hoping they would be good playmates with his darling daughter.
Well, he was a little too late. Within several months he died under mysterious circumstances and the stepmother Wufey began to show her cruel and evil side. Her jealousy of her new stepdaughter was only made worse by the fact that she made Wufey's own bishonen look meaner and uglier in contrast.
Wufey quickly went about tampering with her late husband's will, making sure her stepdaughter wouldn't inherit any money. While her bishonen hung out reading manga, the stepdaughter was forced to wear rags, do all the chores, and sleep in the chimney corner. To add insult to injury, her stepbishonen Heero and Trowa decided to call her 'Noinerella.'
But even as her stepmother and sisters slept in cozy chambers with squishy waterbeds, Noinerella stayed happy and cheerful through it all. She became friends with the mice who also resided in her attic room, and named them Sally-ko and Quatre-chan. And together they made up their own happy little family, keeping her company as she made breakfast, gave the dog and horse food, oiled the Aries, and fed the ducks, chickens and moose. As she brought her stepfamily breakfast, they'd give her orders to keep her busy until the wee hours of the next morning.
"Clean my guns and make sure my explosives won't accidentally detonate during the day," Heero demanded.
"Buy me some hair get, pick up the latest issue of "Clowns Monthly", then stand completely still while I chuck knives at your head," Trowa intoned.
"Polish my katana, make sure not a hair gets out of my ponytail, then do penance to Nataku for being born!" Wufei ordered. But even this on a day-to-day basis couldn't ruin Noinerella's cheerful demeanor.
On the other side of the tracks in the 'good' part of town, Queen Relena paced angrily as she conversed with her Grand Duke, Duo. "It's time the prince married and settled down!" cried the hysterical Queen.
"It's not quite so simple, Relena-sama," Duo replied, "first he has to find a girl, fall in love, meet her parents-"
"Right, sure, whatever. Just make him get married! I don't care what you have to do!" Relena grabbed Duo by the collar and started shaking him.
"May I suggest holding a ball and inviting all the young folks in the kingdom? He's bound to fall in love with one of them," Duo asked as he tried to pry Relena's fingers off his brand new suit.
Relena dropped Duo abruptly. "It's brilliant! I love it! Run off and write the invitations!"
"Hai, hai. But do you think you could help me up first? I think I broke my ass..."
Heero and Duo grinned happily as they read the invitations to the Queen's party. But their smiles faded as Noinerella entered the room. "I must come too," she said, pointing at the fine print, "it says, 'By decree of the almighty Queen Relena, all eligible girls must attend.'"
Her stepbishonen fell over laughing. But before they could say anything, Wufey entered the room and glared at all of them. "You may attend the ball, Noinerella- but only if you finish all your chores in time," Heero and Trowa continued to snicker, "and if you have a suitable dress to wear."
All day, as the rest of her evil stepfamily pondered over what they would wear to the ball, Noinerella was kept busier than ever, though she got to listen in on their plans to marry any of them- except Noinerella- off to the prince, then whittle away at his bank account and divorce him once they had made a considerable profit. But as the carriage approached to take the family away, Noinerella had only a few minutes to find a dress. "Better hurry, Noinerella," her stepbishonen taunted, "or you're not coming!"
As Noinerella ran up to her attic room to find something to wear, she noticed a dress lying on her bed that the mice had sown together. Not knowing quite how they had accomplished it but being very happy just the same, she got the dress on and made it down as the carriage parked at the side of the building.
But as Noinerella tried to climb into the car, her stepbishonen angrily tore at her dress. "My gun cleaning cloth!"
"I was going to use that silk for new clown pants!"
"MY 'JUSTICE IS NATAKU' RIBBON!!!!" As Wufey ripped the ribbon off, the dress fell apart into shreds of useless rags. But her stepsisters only cackled as they rode off to the ball.
Noinerella collapsed onto the ground, crying quietly. As Quatre-chan and Sally-ko rushed over to console her, a girl appeared in a flash of sparkly light. "Who are you?" Noinerella asked.
"I am your fairy godcousin, Catherine, and you can't go to the ball looking like that." She pulled a knife out of hammerspace and chucked it at Noinerella. She cringed, but the knife exploded into cherry blossoms as the remainder of Noinerella's ruined dress turned into a magnificent ball gown. "Okay, now I'll need an Aries, mice, a horse and a dog." The mice ran off to get the other things as Catherine put on Noinerella's makeup. After the mice got back, she hurled knives at the mice, Aries, horse, and dog, turning them into stallions, a sparkling coach, a coachman and a footman, respectively.
Catherine stopped Noinerella as she was about to get into the coach. "No matter what, you can't stay later than 3AM. My magic's not what it could be, so the spell won't last forever. Anything that I enchanted will turn back to its original form at 3AM. Have fun!" Catherine continued to wave as Noinerella hopped in the coach and drove off toward the ball. "Kids these days..."
The ball had already started by the time she arrived. Just as Prince Zechs was about to bow to the three-hundred-tenth and eleventh bishonen- Heero and Trowa- he saw the most beautiful girl in the world. Completely forgetting about his three-hundred-twelfth guest- Wufey- he walked over towards Noinerella and led her into the middle of the dance floor.
Prince Zechs refused to even look at another girl the entire evening, only able to stare at the beautiful Noinerella as all the other guests wondered who this enchanting girl might be. Not ever her own stepfamily could recognize who she was. Duo watched contently from the punch bowl, glad that his plan to find Zechs the perfect bride had worked as a love-struck Relena chased Heero around the room.
But as the clock was about to strike 3 Noinerella remembered her promise. Crying in panic, she reluctantly broke away from the prince's grasp and fled out of the palace. As she raced down a flight of stairs, one of her leather pumps fell off, but she continued running towards the door. Just as the clock struck three, the spells vanished and all that was left in front of Noinerella's house was an Aries, her dog, her horse, Sally-ko and Quatre-chan, and the remains of Noinerella's dress. However, the other leather pump still remained on her foot, and she stared at it with amazement.
A frantic Prince Zechs announced that he would marry whoever could fit perfectly into the shoe the girl had left behind at the ball. He sent Duo off to every house in the land to search for the girl who had captured his heart. He tried to fit the shoe on every duchess, princess and baroness in the land, and eventually ended up at Noinerella's house. Wufey, who had planned ahead for this, already ordered Heero to lock Noinerella in her room and Trowa to grease Wufey's foot to help her fit into the shoe. But what they hadn't counted on was Sally-ko, who had deftly snuck into Heero's pocket to steal the key as Quatre-chan distracted him.
Meanwhile, Duo was trying to fit the shoe onto Wufey's foot, but her foot was too big. Wufey grabbed the shoe in frustration and tried to shove in on in a last resort, but it only popped off and landed in the fire. "Oh, crap! Relena-sama's going to fire me now!"
"Don't worry, I have the other shoe right here." Noinerella walked down the stairs, holding out the other leather pump in her hand. Heero and Trowa tried to grab it away, but Noin kept it from them. Duo grinned as the shoe slipped on to Noinerella's foot perfectly, "Congratulations! You're the new princess!" Duo took her to the palace and got her cleaned up, as absolute proof that she was indeed the girl from the night before. Zechs married her immediately, and they lived happily ever after. Heero didn't live quite as happily, since Relena spent the rest of her days chasing after him. Wufey spent most of his time building a shrine to Nataku "For forgiveness," and Trowa and Catherine started a circus for all of Noinerella's pets to star in. So all in all, we can safely state:
They lived.
Mitsukai-hime: ^_^v So, did you like it? Well, go review! Or I'll send-
Chronos: Quatre's on vacation.
*In Aruba*
Quatre on zero: Ahhhh... ahahahahahaHAHAHAHA!
*Back at the ranch*
Mitsukai-hime: *sweatdrop* Uh... I'll send... Heero after you!
Heero: *still running away from Relena* You're on your own!
Mitsukai-hime: I'll give you Sally-ko. Can we do that?
Chronos: Hai!
Mitsukai-hime: Alrighty then! Now go review!!