Title: Run Away
Notes: Okay, so it was originally intended to be a little filler piece between point A and point B, but somewhere along the line I think it got turned into something that can reasonably be called a sequel. Looks like my plan to do a one installment only story turned into a full-fledged trilogy. Great. Anyway, this certain one is set roughly three hours where the last story ended.
Disclaimer: I don't own much. Believe me. Among what little I own, the Marvel characters aren't there. I don't own the song used, either. In fact, it's called "Promise to Try" and it's owned by Madonna.
******
Anyone who only had a casual relationship with Paige Guthrie would peg her as being a die-hard fan of country music. Those same people would probably be surprised to see her popping a Stabbing Westward tape into her Walkman. She wasn't trading in her Garth Brooks CDs yet, but a fascination with that particular band was an unexpected result of having a part-grunge rocker, part-Goth as a boyfriend.
At least she assumed he was still her boyfriend.
Paige sighed heavily and tied her shoelaces, carefully avoiding looking at her sleeping roommate as she bent. When the younger girl had asked to talk earlier, Paige could tell something was seriously bothering her. She didn't know Jubilee would tell her . . . that.
It was starting to make her paranoid. After all, if Jubilee had come to her with those feelings, she had to have done something to give Jubilee the impression she was interested. Had she somehow been subconsciously sending hints?
Paige shook her head, stubbornly refusing to even consider the thought. If being raised in a quiet, rural, very spiritual Kentucky town had taught her anything, it was that even thinking of such things was condemning. She desperately needed to talk to someone who might even have a slight clue as to what she was feeling, but she really doubted he'd be awake at ten past six.
Only one way to find out, though.
The walk to the basement seemed to take ages, and it may have been aborted if Paige had succeeded in stopping herself as her common sense was trying to do. She shouldn't even have to worry about these things, she told herself every step along the way. She was a model child from a proper home. There was no need to wonder what she was going to do.
She had nearly convinced herself of that when she reached the basement door. She pushed it open anyway.
The rickety stairs creaked beneath her feet as she descended into the room that appeared to be every bit as much a safety hazard as the stairs leading to it. What surprised her more than anything was that Jono was laying on his bed, back to her. She didn't know he even needed to sleep.
Paige had already turned to leave when a groggy and slightly aggravated voice touched her mind. *You didn't come down 'ere t'take a peak at me.*
Paige blushed. "I thought you were asleep."
*Almost.* Jono rolled over to reveal a pair of very tired brown eyes, enough to almost make Paige turn and leave anyway. *So. There a reason why yer in 'ere this late?*
"Early."
Jono's eyebrows raised. *Wot time is it?*
"About a quarter past six. You'd know that if you could see outside." She pointed to the window high above the floor, thick, maroon curtains drawn over it.
*Well, okay. Why're you in 'ere at the buttcrack o' dawn, then?*
Paige walked to the bed and settled herself on the edge, leaning over her boyfriend's semi-conscious form. "I was about to go running. Just thought I'd see if you wanted to go."
Jono wished he could snort. *Not like the exercise is gonna do anything for me.*
"I could use the company, though." Paige lowered her head, blond hair tumbling into her face. Jono reached up and absently tucked a few strands behind her ear.
*Nature's a bitch. We don't get along very well. Yer welcome t'stay 'ere an' talk, though,* Jono offered, propping himself up on his elbows.
"You don't mind?"
*Nah. I'm better 'an a bloody advice columnist, and I'm apparently open twenty-four hours a day t'boot.* Paige stared at Jono, obviously not catching the reference. *Jubilee came in earlier with . . . problems.*
Paige's breath caught in her throat; did he know? Was he changing his mind about how he felt for her? No need to panic yet, she only needed to get the whole story first. "Really? 'Bout Angelo?"
*Sorta.*
Well, he seemed to be pretty clueless about Jubilee's crush so far. That was good. "I met this one girl at the club earlier," she started, eyes lowered even as Jono's widened.
*Am I gettin' dumped for a gel?*
A weak laugh escaped Paige. "No, no, I just . . . well . . . she started, y'know, comin' on to me and it sorta freaked me out."
Jono blinked, not sure if sleep deprivation had anything at all to do with him not comprehending Paige's words. *Okay. An' you felt the need t'share this with me at some awful hour because . . .* Paige hesitated uncertainly, chewing on her bottom lip. Jono noticed the gesture and reached surprisingly gentle fingers to her mouth to stop her. *Stop 'at, luv. Can't talk with a hole in yer lip.* He paused suddenly, brow knitting. *'Least I don't think you can.*
"It didn't completely disgust me or anything like that. Just kinda scared me." Paige finally gathered enough courage to meet Jono's gaze. "I don't give off, like, gay vibes or anything, do I?"
Jono raised one tired but amused eyebrow. *I wouldn't know, Sunshine.*
"Do you think I do?"
Jono managed a light telepathic chuckle. *Paige, yer askin' the wrong bloke, believe me. Do you think you are?*
"Well, I didn't. Not 'til tonight, anyway." Paige sighed miserably. "I mean, this girl's really nice and all and the last thing I wanna do is hurt her feelings, but . . . God," she moaned, letting her head drop down onto Jono's shoulder.
*Yes?* Jono stalled, then shook his head. *You must be upset. Yer not even crackin' down on me for bein' sacrilegious now.*
"I'm just tryin' to figure out what to do."
*Paige, gel,* Jono started, exasperated and running comforting circles along Paige's back with his palm, *the only thing I know t'tell you is t'let this gel know yer not interested.*
"What if I don't know if I am or not?"
Jono longed for the ability to sigh. *Call a psychic. Luv, yer wantin' me t'tell you wot t'do an' I'm not goin' to. I can't. You just gotta do wot feels right.*
"Thank you, Buddha."
*Anytime, grasshopper.* Jono's eyes crinkled. *Now get the fuck off me. I'm sleepy.*
"Such language. What would your mother think?"
Jono shrugged. *Prob'ly not much. She'd drop dead o' shock soon as she found out I wasn't in a mental ward by now.* He nudged Paige off the bed. *Now go back t'sleep or jog or somethin'. I need me beauty rest.*
There was an undeniable note of bitterness in his psionic voice, but Paige chose not to comment on it. She opted instead to flash a quick grin and then leave the basement, deciding that the jog wasn't that important after all.
Deciding she needed a serious distraction, she slid into the desk chair and logged into her email, not at all surprised at what she found - a newsletter from Alloy, a Columbia House advertisement, and a list of jokes from Sam. She was beginning to wonder if that was the only reason he even bothered emailing her.
Since that was uneventful, she turned the computer off and turned her CD player on. Having a roommate had taught her that it would take nothing short of a bomb dropping to wake Jubilee.
Paige removed her Walkman so as not to send it flying into space, then pulled her leg up behind her to begin stretching. If all else failed, she found that exercising seemed to always ease her frazzled nerves. Eventually she managed to settle into a steady rhythm with the song, bending and rising in perfect harmony with the music.
Little girl, don't you forget her face,
Laughing away your tears
When she was the one who felt all the pain.
She ignored the thin sheen of sweat forming on her skin and the burning feeling in her gut. As far as she was concerned, she deserved everything that might happen. She was a model child from a respected but simple family. She shouldn't have even entertained the notion that the part of her that wasn't confused and shocked was actually flattered. Jubilee had made it clear that Paige was the only girl she had ever been interested in, and Paige took a bizarre, vain pride in that.
But that still left her with one worrying question - did she, on some buried level of her psyche, harbor the same feelings for Jubilee? Had she been unconsciously throwing hints that their relationship somehow went beyond being friends?
Keep your head up high - ride like the wind.
Never look behind, life isn't fair.
That's what you said, so I try not to care.
Little girl, don't run away so fast.
Paige shivered, even though it was the middle of May and she wasn't remotely cold. A chill did rip through her, however, as she imagined what her father would think of her. She had still be a young girl when he died, but she was old enough to remember the family trips to church every Sunday morning. It was one of the few times she actually saw him - without fail he would be up early every Sunday, donned in clean clothes, load his wife, Sam, Paige, and their siblings into their beat-up station wagon and drive to Cumberland Baptist Church.
Cumberland County was a small, quiet place that saw little action. Its highlights included a run down school, a gas station with two pumps, a small grocery store, a library whose most recent books predated the Civil War, and Cumberland Baptist. That was the hot spot for gossip around the community, and Paige had always found it incredibly ironic that some of the meanest, most spiteful things she had ever heard were while standing on the steps outside the church, waiting for that morning's sermon.
It seemed at times that no one was safe from the ruthlessness of those who had nothing better to do than to talk trash about their neighbors and fellow church-goers. Mutants, supposed troublemakers, even those who only dressed differently were verbally attacked by the group of holier-than-thou elitists.
And, as Paige recalled, her father had been among them.
She straightened and pulled her hair from her sweat-soaked face, watching Jubilee as she slept. Paige could remember her father being a very kind, gentle man, but very close-minded. She assumed it was a prerequisite for living in Cumberland. In any event, she could clearly remember him discussing what Sam would later jokingly call the Guthrie Commandments. One of his most adamant rules was that in no event would anything resembling an "ungodly" way be permitted. Namely, he was referring to the unthinkable concept of "alternate" lifestyles.
Wipe away all your tears, it's gonna be all right.
Paige sniffled, pushing herself even harder, trying to no avail to rid herself of these bothersome thoughts. Her entire life had been spent trying to please others and make them proud of her. No matter how much she tried to avoid her roots, they seemed to always find her anyway and remind her that she would likely never be her own person. So why, then, did she feel horribly guilty when she finally started to live for herself? Was it because she was being taken down a path she didn't want to take, or because she knew it wasn't a path Daddy would want for his first daughter? Or was she feeling guilty for feeling guilty in the first place?
I fought to be so strong.
When life had appeared to reach a point at which it could get no more complex, it did a one-eighty and became twice as bad. Such was the life of an X-Man in training. Such was the life of a hopelessly confused teenage girl.
Paige, muscles aching, abused, and too weary to support her weight, collapsed on the floor. Trembling with shame borne of a narrow minded upbringing and terrified at whatever the future may hold, she buried her face in her hands and cried.
Little girl, you've got to forget the past.