A/N. This is just a little angst fic that I wrote because I've had a crappy last few days. It's Harry/Hermione, but it's not a "happily ever after" fic. It's also a bit of an experiment in stream of consciousness narration. Tell me how you think I did! Thanx to Catalin, Hazle Lang, and gab;oug, who reviewed my last story. I'm taking my first short little ditty and making it into a series, but it's a surprise whom it's about. Keep your eyes peeled for it! And without further ado, voila mon essence . . .
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I don't know how long I've been sitting here, Herm. Time doesn't seem to mean much right now. The doctors and nurses come and go, people come in to visit; to try to convince me to go home, get some sleep, get something to eat. They all seem to blend into a blurred mess of sounds, smells, faces – they only clear thing in this room is you, Herm. I sit here, clasping your hand in mine, gazing at your face, marveling at your beauty – The bruises and cuts mar your pale skin, but I barely notice them – I avoid them. They remind me too much of what happened, of how I failed you.
I'm so sorry, Herm. I should have protected you from him – how could I let his happen to you? What good is it being the "Boy Who Lived" if I can't help the people I love live, too? I love you Hermione. I only realized after – I love you, and I need you to fill this void in me . . .
The doctors tell me that you might not wake up. God, Hermione, I want you to prove them wrong so much that it hurts; I want you to wake up this very instant, not knowing what happened. It'll be like when we were at school – prove them all wrong, do better than they expect, better than anyone else . . .
I'm not sure if I ca go on without you, Herm – I can hear your voice in my head saying 'Don't be silly Harry, you'll do just fine." Just like in fourth year, when you helped me with that stupid tournament – I wish that there was something that I could do to help you now, when it matters most, to return the favor. But I don't know what I can do – all I can do is sit here by your side, giving you my strength, sot that when you open your eyes, the first thing you see is me.