Comic Relief Tea Chapter two: Want to get married
A/N: This is about a double wedding, see if you can guess whose. Oh yeah uh Fireballs is Ron and Kartuta is Mr. Sexy. So go ahead and read on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I have to say thank you very much to my cousin Cheryl who's Back when series you can find under Ron's Mistress. Or her new stories under her new names Sunglow, and Padfoot's Mistress. She helped Likkey Nee-kee-tee, and Kartuta- or You-Know-What to be born. And just remember F/R/R.
"Yes there done! The O.W.L's are over, time for a tea party," Ron yelled happily as he and the other Gryffindor 5th years walked out of the potions room having finished the O.W.L's at long last.
"Ron, remember what we said about the- that word," Hermione said hitting Ron's shoulder.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that, do you see them anywhere?" Ron questioned searching the corridor.
"No I don't see them, but they could be coming, let's go outside just in case though," Hermione said.
"Do you think they'll ever stop coming?" Harry asked speaking for the first time since the end of the testing. The three sat down at the end of the Quidditch field. The sun was shining brightly and there was no shady area, yet it was dark where the three sat.
"I am Kartuta, and you will give me this tea you've spoken of," a large black hippogriff with red eyes said in an evil voice.
"Well Kartuta we-," but harry was cut off.
"You will call me You-Know-What, for my name is far too great for you," Kartuta said fiercely.
"Ah Kartuta don't be stupid, just shut-it," another voice said. Everyone turned to see a pink hippogriff with green eyes.
"Likkey, what are you doing here? And you are not worthy of my name either," Kartuta yelled.
"You see this is why I'm not married to him anymore. He keeps going on and on and on about his name," Likkey said smiling at the look of irritation on Kartutas face.
"Ron, what on earth are you doing?" Hermione asked starring at Ron in shock. Ron began to hum the tune of a popular Muggle song called The Macarena. He then began the dance.
"Well you are worthy of my name," Kartuta said looking at Ron in a new light.
"No Ron, Kartuta is an idiot, you can't trust him," Likkey said emotionlessly.
"What are you doing Ron?" Hermione asked again as Ron walked up to Kartuta with love in his eyes. And suddenly Hermione knew. "Likkey could you take us to Igor Karkaroff by any chance?"
"Sure get on," Likkey answered. Harry and Hermione climbed on and were quickly taken to a grubby old building.
"What do you think he's doing here?" Hermione asked Harry. He shrugged in reply.
******
"Well Voldie would you like some more tea?" Buckbeaks squeaky voice asked.
"Why yes Buckbeak, that would be nice," Voldemort said smiling at Karkaroff in a love struck daze. Wormtail was made to pour all the tea and he handed Voldemort his raspberry tea. Hermione and Harry looked on in shock.
"Buckbeak what are you doing?" Harry questioned in shock.
"Having tea with Voldie want to join us?" Buckbeak asked excitedly.
"Yeah this is cool, we have one more chair," Voldemort said straightening his bib that said 'I'm a Big Boy' with little balloon's all over it.
"Wow really? Cool dudes, thanks a lot, I love tea," Harry said happily. He took a seat next to Karkaroff, and magiced a bib onto his neck saying 'I'm a Merfaggot'. Harry's face was all over it.
"So Voldie, what is up?" Harry asked sipping some tea.
"Well Merfaggot the ceiling is up. And I'm doing pretty good," Voldemort said still looking at Karkaroff. Hermione felt like exploding as she watched the 'party'. She turned and went outside to Likkey.
"Where's that idiot kid you were with?" Likkey asked curiously.
"Oh the Merfaggot is having tea with Voldemort, Karkaroff, and Buckbeak. He is so stupid, now Ron, and Harry are both gone," Hermione yelled outraged.
"Gee, isn't it odd that they what went to stupid bozos? The people who call themselves You-Know-What, and Who," Likkey said sighing.
"I know it really is tragic," Hermione agreed.
******
"Oh my, I have to go use the Little Hippogriffs room. I'll be back soon though," Buckbeak screeched walking out of the room. No one took any notice though.
"Oh Igor, what beautiful eyes you have," Voldemort said moving towards Karkaroff.
"Oh Voldie your eyes are so beautiful too," Karkaroff yelled going to Voldemort and sitting on his lap.
"Igor will you marry me? I love you so much! Please tell me you say yes," Voldemort screamed out holding a ring with a diamond teacup in the middle.
"Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" Karkaroff shouted out.
"Can I be the ring boy," Harry asked excitedly.
"Why of course you can be Merfaggot! This will be great," Karkaroff said in pure joy.
"I'll alert everyone, and I'll get the cake okay?" Harry asked jumping up and down.
"Of course, but make sure it's strawberry though, I love strawberry, it's my favorite flavor," Voldemort said smiling.
"Okiedinkers, I'll meet you back here in an hour or so," Harry yelled running to the fireplace, and using Floo Powder to get to Vito's Bakery.
"Hey kid, what are you doing here? This is a private area," a guy with a nametag saying Bob asked.
"Oh well I'd like a cake for Voldie, and Karkaroffs wedding. It has to be strawberry too. Can you bake it for me?" Harry questioned.
"Well yes, this will be great can you go wait in that room right there?" Bob asked.
"Yep, but hurry with that cake. Oh by the way you can come to the wedding," Harry said. He first went outside and announced to all about the wedding and then went to go wait for the cake.
******
Hermione and Likkey were back at Hogwarts hiding in between some bushes. They were watching Kartuta ride Ron around on his back. It was sickening; they looked like they were in love.
"Kartuta… you're just so wonderful, this time together has been great," Ron said petting Kartuta.
"Ronaldo, I quite agree, how can you be so magnificent? This must be some dream," Kartuta said.
"Likkey how could you have married him? It's just impossible," Hermione said turning to the opposite clump of bushes.
"Well he was very powerful, and if I married him I would be powerful too. It was fine, but then Nee-Kee-Tee was born, soon he was dead though because I killed him, Kartuta got mad, and we got to go to Hippogriff divorce court. That was fun," Likkey said in a daze.
"Well, why was Nee-Kee-Tee gone?" Hermione asked curiously.
"He got me annoyed because he was saying Tweggi was so un-cool so I blew him up. Everyone knows that Tweggi is so cool," Likkey said.
"Oh really, that's so mean! Tweggi is soooooo awesome," Hermione said.
"Exactly, but he has a big family. There's Tweggo, Twegga, Twegges, Tweeny, Twango, Twalla, and Twanogeo. Those are only 7 of his brothers. He has 20 other siblings. They all sound the same so it screws you up," Likkey said listing the names.
"I can see why. So where do all the hippogriff's stay?" Hermione asked.
"That's a silly question, everyone knows that we stay at the tea lake," Likkey yelled.
"OH, you wouldn't mind taking me there? Would you, I mean you can go drink talk I need to talk to someone," Hermione said. Likkey nodded her head and flew Hermione to the lake that was an assortment of colors.
By the lake stood a hut. Nothing like Hagrid's though. It was more of a house someone had built planning on building a whole subdivision. Hermione walked up to the door as Likkey went to join a group of orange hippogriffs. Hermione knocked and waited for an answer. Shortly the door turned and opened. There stood Remus Lupin. At first he was smiling, perhaps expecting Sirius or Dumbledore. As soon as he saw Hermione though his face took on an expression of pure fear.
"Hey what are you up to?" Hermione asked cheerfully.
"I'm uh. I'm uh… um doing Yoga! That's it I'm doing Yoga so you have to leave now, bye!" Remus said trying to close the door.
"No, your liking I see that vacuum. How can you put it through such hard work? You have to do something too you know," Hermione said walking inside. Hermione tried to grab the handle, but first the tea table and hot tea were spilled all over the new pure white carpet. Then picture frames fell to the floor, glass shattering. And then of course Remus was knocked to the floor.
"You really should clean your house it's so dirty!" Hermione exclaimed.
"No more please," Remus pleaded.
******
Karkaroff stood in front of the dressing room mirror smiling. He had on a long white gown with white thin straps. It also had a large bow attached to the back, and sparkles all over the dress. His vail was circled with white roses. And his shoes were made of glass. He did this because of his love for Cinderella.
"Karky, you look beautiful!" Voldemort exclaimed.
"Voldie will you stop you make me blush," Karkaroff said blushing a pink shade. The two laughed as they bought everything and disapperated to the grubby place they had been before. There they saw a large strawberry cake.
"Hey Voldie I got you a ring!" Harry exclaimed holding his hand behind his back.
"Where? Can I see please!" Voldemort pleaded begging for the ring.
"Well at Vito's I saw a ring machine and I got a pretty blue ring. Here you go, for you!" Harry yelled out.
"Everything is working out so great I love this," Karkaroff exclaimed in excitement.
That's when Buckbeak walked into the room. "Sorry I took so long. I had to go poo," he said.
"Buckbeak, guess what!" Voldemort yelled.
"Chicken Butt!" Buckbeak answered happily.
"Nope, me and Voldie are going to get married!" Karkaroff said massaging Voldemort's thigh.
"When? Where?" Buckbeak asked anger building up in him.
"In an hour at McDonald's!" Voldemort said.
"I'll be there. See you later bozos!" Buckbeak said growling and then flying off.
******
"Fireballs, I am sure now we are meant to be," Kartuta said in seriousness.
"Mr. Sexy, you're right will you marry me?" Ron asked on his knee, eye to eye with his lover. Kartuta bowed down and excitedly said yes. "Well then, shall we be going to the store now? We must get ourselves ready," Ron said standing up straight.
"Hop on, we'll go to 'Madame Malkins Robes for all Occasions' first Fireballs," Kartuta said flying off. They reached the shop quickly enough, but stayed quite a while. Ron' dress was a white strapless gown that Madam Malkin sold to him with pearls. Kartuta though had to have much work done to make his tuxedo fit. It was purple with pink polka dots, and the tie was green with yellow stripes. As they bought everything Karkaroff, Harry, and Voldemort cam in. All the customers ran away screaming but the four talked and reached an agreement, leaving with smiles.
******
Many had received the message and the McDonald's was full.
Elton John's voice rang out quieting the crowd. "We are here for a double wedding, Kartuta with Ron, and Voldemort with Karkaroff." Kartuta and Voldemort stood at the counter smiling as their brides walked to them. "Now all against this wedding rise." Everyone looked around and rose up except for Harry. The best man had on a mermaid outfit, and was in a tub.
"Karkaroff you die! Voldie was all mine," Buckbeak shouted out. He flew to Karkaroff and sliced off his head with his beak.
"Oh no, Karky you're dead," Voldie screamed, "this is your fault," he said to Ron.
Ron though had begun to close his eyes and he fell to the floor. Through all the trouble of the day everything wound up fine in the evening. Kartuta got tierd and left, Voldemort married Buckbeak, Harry went into the lake at Hogwarts, and Karkaroff was buried.
******
Hermione and Ron sat in the common room later laughing about the day. Hermione had ruined Remus' house and then rushed to the ruined wedding. It turned out that Ron had some potion that made him act the way he did.
"Now who do you think it was that gave me it?" Ron asked. He obviously had not seen Malfoy smiling happily at the wedding.
And that's what really happened!
end
A/N: Vell Vhat did you think? Strawrberrys are yummy aren't they? Remember to F/R/R. Buh~bye
PS: I wrote this in Florida under a blazing sun. So if it's odd or OOC don't tell me because chances are I know.
A/N: This is about a double wedding, see if you can guess whose. Oh yeah uh Fireballs is Ron and Kartuta is Mr. Sexy. So go ahead and read on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I have to say thank you very much to my cousin Cheryl who's Back when series you can find under Ron's Mistress. Or her new stories under her new names Sunglow, and Padfoot's Mistress. She helped Likkey Nee-kee-tee, and Kartuta- or You-Know-What to be born. And just remember F/R/R.
"Yes there done! The O.W.L's are over, time for a tea party," Ron yelled happily as he and the other Gryffindor 5th years walked out of the potions room having finished the O.W.L's at long last.
"Ron, remember what we said about the- that word," Hermione said hitting Ron's shoulder.
"Oh yeah, I forgot about that, do you see them anywhere?" Ron questioned searching the corridor.
"No I don't see them, but they could be coming, let's go outside just in case though," Hermione said.
"Do you think they'll ever stop coming?" Harry asked speaking for the first time since the end of the testing. The three sat down at the end of the Quidditch field. The sun was shining brightly and there was no shady area, yet it was dark where the three sat.
"I am Kartuta, and you will give me this tea you've spoken of," a large black hippogriff with red eyes said in an evil voice.
"Well Kartuta we-," but harry was cut off.
"You will call me You-Know-What, for my name is far too great for you," Kartuta said fiercely.
"Ah Kartuta don't be stupid, just shut-it," another voice said. Everyone turned to see a pink hippogriff with green eyes.
"Likkey, what are you doing here? And you are not worthy of my name either," Kartuta yelled.
"You see this is why I'm not married to him anymore. He keeps going on and on and on about his name," Likkey said smiling at the look of irritation on Kartutas face.
"Ron, what on earth are you doing?" Hermione asked starring at Ron in shock. Ron began to hum the tune of a popular Muggle song called The Macarena. He then began the dance.
"Well you are worthy of my name," Kartuta said looking at Ron in a new light.
"No Ron, Kartuta is an idiot, you can't trust him," Likkey said emotionlessly.
"What are you doing Ron?" Hermione asked again as Ron walked up to Kartuta with love in his eyes. And suddenly Hermione knew. "Likkey could you take us to Igor Karkaroff by any chance?"
"Sure get on," Likkey answered. Harry and Hermione climbed on and were quickly taken to a grubby old building.
"What do you think he's doing here?" Hermione asked Harry. He shrugged in reply.
******
"Well Voldie would you like some more tea?" Buckbeaks squeaky voice asked.
"Why yes Buckbeak, that would be nice," Voldemort said smiling at Karkaroff in a love struck daze. Wormtail was made to pour all the tea and he handed Voldemort his raspberry tea. Hermione and Harry looked on in shock.
"Buckbeak what are you doing?" Harry questioned in shock.
"Having tea with Voldie want to join us?" Buckbeak asked excitedly.
"Yeah this is cool, we have one more chair," Voldemort said straightening his bib that said 'I'm a Big Boy' with little balloon's all over it.
"Wow really? Cool dudes, thanks a lot, I love tea," Harry said happily. He took a seat next to Karkaroff, and magiced a bib onto his neck saying 'I'm a Merfaggot'. Harry's face was all over it.
"So Voldie, what is up?" Harry asked sipping some tea.
"Well Merfaggot the ceiling is up. And I'm doing pretty good," Voldemort said still looking at Karkaroff. Hermione felt like exploding as she watched the 'party'. She turned and went outside to Likkey.
"Where's that idiot kid you were with?" Likkey asked curiously.
"Oh the Merfaggot is having tea with Voldemort, Karkaroff, and Buckbeak. He is so stupid, now Ron, and Harry are both gone," Hermione yelled outraged.
"Gee, isn't it odd that they what went to stupid bozos? The people who call themselves You-Know-What, and Who," Likkey said sighing.
"I know it really is tragic," Hermione agreed.
******
"Oh my, I have to go use the Little Hippogriffs room. I'll be back soon though," Buckbeak screeched walking out of the room. No one took any notice though.
"Oh Igor, what beautiful eyes you have," Voldemort said moving towards Karkaroff.
"Oh Voldie your eyes are so beautiful too," Karkaroff yelled going to Voldemort and sitting on his lap.
"Igor will you marry me? I love you so much! Please tell me you say yes," Voldemort screamed out holding a ring with a diamond teacup in the middle.
"Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" Karkaroff shouted out.
"Can I be the ring boy," Harry asked excitedly.
"Why of course you can be Merfaggot! This will be great," Karkaroff said in pure joy.
"I'll alert everyone, and I'll get the cake okay?" Harry asked jumping up and down.
"Of course, but make sure it's strawberry though, I love strawberry, it's my favorite flavor," Voldemort said smiling.
"Okiedinkers, I'll meet you back here in an hour or so," Harry yelled running to the fireplace, and using Floo Powder to get to Vito's Bakery.
"Hey kid, what are you doing here? This is a private area," a guy with a nametag saying Bob asked.
"Oh well I'd like a cake for Voldie, and Karkaroffs wedding. It has to be strawberry too. Can you bake it for me?" Harry questioned.
"Well yes, this will be great can you go wait in that room right there?" Bob asked.
"Yep, but hurry with that cake. Oh by the way you can come to the wedding," Harry said. He first went outside and announced to all about the wedding and then went to go wait for the cake.
******
Hermione and Likkey were back at Hogwarts hiding in between some bushes. They were watching Kartuta ride Ron around on his back. It was sickening; they looked like they were in love.
"Kartuta… you're just so wonderful, this time together has been great," Ron said petting Kartuta.
"Ronaldo, I quite agree, how can you be so magnificent? This must be some dream," Kartuta said.
"Likkey how could you have married him? It's just impossible," Hermione said turning to the opposite clump of bushes.
"Well he was very powerful, and if I married him I would be powerful too. It was fine, but then Nee-Kee-Tee was born, soon he was dead though because I killed him, Kartuta got mad, and we got to go to Hippogriff divorce court. That was fun," Likkey said in a daze.
"Well, why was Nee-Kee-Tee gone?" Hermione asked curiously.
"He got me annoyed because he was saying Tweggi was so un-cool so I blew him up. Everyone knows that Tweggi is so cool," Likkey said.
"Oh really, that's so mean! Tweggi is soooooo awesome," Hermione said.
"Exactly, but he has a big family. There's Tweggo, Twegga, Twegges, Tweeny, Twango, Twalla, and Twanogeo. Those are only 7 of his brothers. He has 20 other siblings. They all sound the same so it screws you up," Likkey said listing the names.
"I can see why. So where do all the hippogriff's stay?" Hermione asked.
"That's a silly question, everyone knows that we stay at the tea lake," Likkey yelled.
"OH, you wouldn't mind taking me there? Would you, I mean you can go drink talk I need to talk to someone," Hermione said. Likkey nodded her head and flew Hermione to the lake that was an assortment of colors.
By the lake stood a hut. Nothing like Hagrid's though. It was more of a house someone had built planning on building a whole subdivision. Hermione walked up to the door as Likkey went to join a group of orange hippogriffs. Hermione knocked and waited for an answer. Shortly the door turned and opened. There stood Remus Lupin. At first he was smiling, perhaps expecting Sirius or Dumbledore. As soon as he saw Hermione though his face took on an expression of pure fear.
"Hey what are you up to?" Hermione asked cheerfully.
"I'm uh. I'm uh… um doing Yoga! That's it I'm doing Yoga so you have to leave now, bye!" Remus said trying to close the door.
"No, your liking I see that vacuum. How can you put it through such hard work? You have to do something too you know," Hermione said walking inside. Hermione tried to grab the handle, but first the tea table and hot tea were spilled all over the new pure white carpet. Then picture frames fell to the floor, glass shattering. And then of course Remus was knocked to the floor.
"You really should clean your house it's so dirty!" Hermione exclaimed.
"No more please," Remus pleaded.
******
Karkaroff stood in front of the dressing room mirror smiling. He had on a long white gown with white thin straps. It also had a large bow attached to the back, and sparkles all over the dress. His vail was circled with white roses. And his shoes were made of glass. He did this because of his love for Cinderella.
"Karky, you look beautiful!" Voldemort exclaimed.
"Voldie will you stop you make me blush," Karkaroff said blushing a pink shade. The two laughed as they bought everything and disapperated to the grubby place they had been before. There they saw a large strawberry cake.
"Hey Voldie I got you a ring!" Harry exclaimed holding his hand behind his back.
"Where? Can I see please!" Voldemort pleaded begging for the ring.
"Well at Vito's I saw a ring machine and I got a pretty blue ring. Here you go, for you!" Harry yelled out.
"Everything is working out so great I love this," Karkaroff exclaimed in excitement.
That's when Buckbeak walked into the room. "Sorry I took so long. I had to go poo," he said.
"Buckbeak, guess what!" Voldemort yelled.
"Chicken Butt!" Buckbeak answered happily.
"Nope, me and Voldie are going to get married!" Karkaroff said massaging Voldemort's thigh.
"When? Where?" Buckbeak asked anger building up in him.
"In an hour at McDonald's!" Voldemort said.
"I'll be there. See you later bozos!" Buckbeak said growling and then flying off.
******
"Fireballs, I am sure now we are meant to be," Kartuta said in seriousness.
"Mr. Sexy, you're right will you marry me?" Ron asked on his knee, eye to eye with his lover. Kartuta bowed down and excitedly said yes. "Well then, shall we be going to the store now? We must get ourselves ready," Ron said standing up straight.
"Hop on, we'll go to 'Madame Malkins Robes for all Occasions' first Fireballs," Kartuta said flying off. They reached the shop quickly enough, but stayed quite a while. Ron' dress was a white strapless gown that Madam Malkin sold to him with pearls. Kartuta though had to have much work done to make his tuxedo fit. It was purple with pink polka dots, and the tie was green with yellow stripes. As they bought everything Karkaroff, Harry, and Voldemort cam in. All the customers ran away screaming but the four talked and reached an agreement, leaving with smiles.
******
Many had received the message and the McDonald's was full.
Elton John's voice rang out quieting the crowd. "We are here for a double wedding, Kartuta with Ron, and Voldemort with Karkaroff." Kartuta and Voldemort stood at the counter smiling as their brides walked to them. "Now all against this wedding rise." Everyone looked around and rose up except for Harry. The best man had on a mermaid outfit, and was in a tub.
"Karkaroff you die! Voldie was all mine," Buckbeak shouted out. He flew to Karkaroff and sliced off his head with his beak.
"Oh no, Karky you're dead," Voldie screamed, "this is your fault," he said to Ron.
Ron though had begun to close his eyes and he fell to the floor. Through all the trouble of the day everything wound up fine in the evening. Kartuta got tierd and left, Voldemort married Buckbeak, Harry went into the lake at Hogwarts, and Karkaroff was buried.
******
Hermione and Ron sat in the common room later laughing about the day. Hermione had ruined Remus' house and then rushed to the ruined wedding. It turned out that Ron had some potion that made him act the way he did.
"Now who do you think it was that gave me it?" Ron asked. He obviously had not seen Malfoy smiling happily at the wedding.
And that's what really happened!
end
A/N: Vell Vhat did you think? Strawrberrys are yummy aren't they? Remember to F/R/R. Buh~bye
PS: I wrote this in Florida under a blazing sun. So if it's odd or OOC don't tell me because chances are I know.