A/N: I don't quite know what came over
me-something to do with learning about opera in music theory I suppose. Little
bits and pieces of Star Wars: The Operatic Menace came into my mind. I just had
to write it down. Oh well, read it at your own risk. You'll have to use your
imagination though. I haven't set this to music. (Imagine silly costumes and
high voices)
Ben Kenobi's little desert hut
Luke: My
life is sad, I know,
I'm
a farm boy, I don't know much,
I
live on a backwater planet.
Oh
what to do? I'm out of touch,
Now
I've got these droids,
An
old man, who's off his rocker
This
lightsaber thingy, a hologram
Of
a girl who's got great knockers.
Ben: You
know, I knew your parents, Luke,
Your
mother and your father.
Your
father died-no, was murdered, by
An
evil guy called Vader.
Luke: How
did this happen? I must go
To
avenge his death, how,
I
do not know.
Maybe
I'll kill him-bam! Pow!
Mwahahaha!
Ben: You
cannot do this yet, boy
You'll
need training first
Luke: Yes
I can! I am invincible!
I
need to quench my thirst
Of
blood, death and all those things,
Though
how I do not know.
Ben: Well,
at least take me to the nearest town
And
from there I will go-
Luke: Where?
How? What? I cannot!
My
uncle! My aunt! The farm!
Ben: It's
all gone by now, Luke
Don't
worry, it's no cause of alarm
They're
probably exterminated,
Wiped
out, you see?
We
can't do anything now
So
come with me to Mos Eisley.
The Mos Eisley cantina.
Ben: We
are looking for a pilot
Han: A
pilot?
Ben: To
take us to Alderaan.
Han: That's
easy, but whatever for?
Ben: No
business of yours, just us and the droids.
Han: No
cargo?
Ben: No
cargo, and we will cause no trouble.
Han: I
will have to charge a lot.
Ben: No
matter, we will pay
Han: 2
thousand!
Luke: What
the hell? We can get our own ship for that!
Han: But
you won't have me.
Luke: And
who are you?
Han: I
can make the fastest Kessel run.
Luke: Doesn't
mean anything to me.
Han: If
you think you are so good, then go and get your own ship.
Ben: Luke,
be quiet. Han, you will also get 15 thousand from the Alderaanian government.
Han: 17 thousand? Done!
Ben: Then let us go.
Luke: We will go.
Han: Meet me at bay 59.
Ben: 59 it is.
The battle at Cloud City
Luke: I
know who you are!
Vader: Yes,
Luke. You hide your fear well.
Luke: I
am not afraid!
Vader: Yoda has taught you well.
Luke: You
are Vader!
Vader: Yes
I am.
Luke: You
will die!
Vader: I
don't think so.
Chorus: Use the force, use the force, use
the force, Luke.
Luke: What
was that?
Vader: Doesn't
matter. You will join me!
Luke: I
will not!
Chorus: Do not fear, do not be angry, Luke.
Luke: I
am not angry! I am not afraid! I will avenge my father's death!
Vader: Your
father's death? He is not dead.
Luke: Ben
said he was, Ben doesn't lie!
Vader: Ben
was wrong.
Luke: How
do you know?
Vader: Luke
I am your father.
Luke: You
are not!
Vader: I
am. You know it to be true. Look inside of you.
Luke: It
cannot be! It cannot be! I am related to him!
Vader: Now
you will join me at the Emperor's side.
Luke: No!
I will not! Go away!
Chorus: Do not fear, do not fear, Luke. Use
the force, use the force, Luke.
Luke: Voices,
go away! I can do this by myself! I need no help!
(Vader and Luke fight)
Vader: You
are defeated. You will comply. Join me at the emperor's side.
Luke: Go
away. I'm still alive. You will die. Goodbye! (Luke slides down the shaft)
***
Leia: I
can hear him! I hear Luke! He is alive!
Lando: What,
Princess?
Leia: Go
back! Go back! He is alive!
Chorus: He is alive! He is alive!
Lando: I'm
not going back!
Leia: He
is alive! Go back!
Lando: I
will not go.
Leia: Move
aside then, I will fly!
Lando: You
don't know how!
Leia: Yes
I do! Now let's go!
Lando: Whatever,
I cannot compete.
***
Luke: I
cannot hold on for much longer. I will die. This is not good.
Leia: There
he is! Lando, get him!
Lando: Okay
then, Princess.
Luke: A
saviour! A saviour! Hallelujah!
Leia: Oh
Luke! You are alive! You have survived!
Lando: What
of Han? He is still trapped.
Luke: What
will we do? What will we do?
Leia: Go
back to base, back to base first.
Luke: I
agree.
Lando: But
Han!
Chorus: Han! Han! Han Solo! Han! Han! Han
Solo!
Luke: My
hand was chopped off. How will I fight if I do not have my hand?
Leia: We
must go, we must go. Get Luke's hand fixed first. Then we will go and save Han
Solo.
A/N: Well, as you can see, a pesky chorus,
weird sentences and a serious disregard for the real thing. (I can't help it if
I haven't read the original trilogy for a few months!) Please review. I'd like
to know what you think.
