Mewtwo ran into Viridian City. "I gotta get me some sneakers…" he muttered. Suddenly, he heard a voice.
"Hey, you! Cat! Stop in the name of the law!"
Mewtwo looked up and saw a female police officer. "Uh, sorry, but I'm busy right n -"
"A talking Pokémon!" she gasped. Then she narrowed her eyes. "I've never seen a Pokémon like you. Who are you, anyway?"
"Me? Um… I'm… I'm a human! I swear!" Mewtwo stammered.
"You are not! You're a Pokémon!"
"No! I'm a human! I just have… um… a very rare disease!" He saw her flinch away. "It's not contagious! It's… um… genetic!" Which IS basically the truth… he thought to himself.
"What's your name?"
"My name? Um… my name is Mew- er… M - m… Myron! My name is Myron!"
"All right, then, Myron. Who's this person you're carrying?"
"Huh? Oh, this is Ash! He's my train- er, he's a trainer. A Pokémon trainer! And I'm his… um… friend!"
The police officer was still eyeing him suspiciously. "And what happened to him?"
"Um… slight accident… nothing major… but I have to get him to the… um… hospital… as soon as possible." Mewtwo said, barely stopping himself from saying "Pokémon Center".
"Can you prove this?"
"Well, just look at him, lady! He's all beat up! Isn't that enough proof that I gotta get him to the hospital?!"
"I mean can you prove who you ARE?!" The officer was starting to get irritated.
"Oh, right!" Mewtwo fumbled in Ash's pocket and pulled out Dexter and opened it.
"Mewtwo. A psychic Pokémon of the -" Dexter began. Mewtwo slammed it shut.
"Shut up, you stupid computer!" he hissed at it. Then he got it to show the officer Ash's ID.
The female officer nodded. "All right, you are who you say you are," She paused, then eyed Mewtwo. "At least, HE'S who you say he is. I still don't think I believe that you're a human being."
"I'm human! I just have… um… Mewitosis! Yeah, that's it, Mewitosis. It makes you grow a tail and have cat ears and turn all gray and have big feet and weird fingers and fly and - oops. Forget the flying part."
The officer gave him one more glance. "All right. The hospital is that way." She pointed. "Go down that street and hang a left. Then go a couple of blocks and it's the big building on your right. You can't miss it."
"Um, how far is it as the cat - er, as the crow flies?" Mewtwo asked.
"About two blocks. Why?"
"Um, nevermind! Thanks!" said Mewtwo, running off. On the way off, he noticed a Wanted poster with two people's pictures on it. Since he didn't know who they were, he just ignored it.
Then, after checking to make sure the officer wasn't watching, he stopped running and flew the rest of the way to the hospital.
He didn't notice the redhead running behind him, yelling "GET BACK HERE, YOU STUPID CAT!! I'm gonna make you pay for what you did to my bike!"
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Mewtwo rushed into the hospital. "Is this the Human Center?" he asked the nurse.
She looked up at him, raising her eyebrows. "This is the hospital. Why?"
"Oh, right! Hospital!" said Mewtwo, mentally kicking himself. "My tr- my FRIEND was in an accident. Can you help him?"
"Of course we can." She began typing something into the compter. "How did he get like that?"
"Uhh… long story. But will he be OK?"
"I think so." the nurse replied. She put Ash on a stretcher and wheeled him out of the room.
Mewtwo tried to sit down, but after several attempts, came to a very important conclusion: Hospital benches are not made for those with huge tails. So he just kind of hovered near the cieling unless someone came in. If he heard someone coming, he'd sit on the bench as well as he could and hide behind a newspaper. Well, except in the case of one unfortunate gentleman that he hadn't heard coming who'd fainted and ended up in the hospital himself.
After a while, Mewtwo decided to call Professor Oak.
"Hiya, Professor!" he said brightly.
Professor Oak groaned. "Hello, Mewtwo." he said unhappily. "How did your first day go?"
"Pretty good! We only almost got killed once, I nearly got arrested, and I knocked out a whole flock of angry turkies!"
"And they WONDER why I was happy to get rid of you…" said Professor Oak with a sigh.
Suddenly, Pikachu grabbed the phone.
"Listen, buster, I hope you know that you have just STOLEN my job!" it said angrily. "I had everything all lined up until YOU came along! Do you know how much money Warner and 4Kids were going to PAY me? Not to mention TV Tokyo! And now YOU get all of it, and I'm just some lousy SUPPORTING character!"
Mewtwo blinked. "Sorry! I didn't mean to! What's the big deal, anyway? People still like you. So why are you so mad?"
"Merchandizing, my friend, merchandizing!" snapped the Pikachu. "YOU are now the main Pokémon on the show! YOU are going to be the one that everyone loves! YOU are going to be the one with his face on everything under the sun! YOU are going to be the top-selling stuffed doll this Christmas! You, you, you! And it was supposed to be ME!! Do you know the kind of royalties I was supposed to be getting?!"
Mewtwo swallowed. "Look, I'll be happy to make you my stock broker or something…"
Pikachu paused. "What kind of a commission am I gonna get?"
"Whatever you want! Just calm down!"
"Okay, I'll take the job," Pikachu glared at Mewtwo. "But I STILL haven't forgiven you."
"What if you were my agent? I'll give you a 10 per cent cut of all that I earn."
"40 per cent."
"15 per cent."
"30 per cent."
"20 per cent."
"Deal!" said Pikachu. "Man I'm gonna be raking in the dough…" Suddenly, it paused. "Still, not as much as if you hadn't STOLEN my job!"
"I'll give you half of the royalties, JUST SHUT UP!!"
"Half is good." said Pikachu. Then it hung up, chuckling. "I am gonna be SO rich…"
Professor Oak shook his head. "When am I gonna get a trainer to take YOU?!"
Pikachu smiled. "Never!" It latched onto Professor Oak's leg. "I like you!"
"Great…" said Professor Oak, moaning.
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Later, the nurse took Ash out into the waiting room.
"Your friend's all better, Myron," she said to Mewtwo.
"Myron?" said Ash in disbelief.
"Yes?" asked Mewtwo.
Ash sighed and shook his head. "Nevermind."
Suddenly, the door of the hospital banged open.
"There you are!" a voice said. Ash and Myron - I mean, Mewtwo, looked up and saw that it was the redhead from the river.
And she was NOT happy.
"You stupid cat!" she yelled. "LOOK what you did to my bike!"
The bike was pretty mangled, all right. (From Mewtwo's crash landing after his E.T. bit.) Mewtwo gulped. "Sorry. But… ya see… I can't pay you back right now… because… well, I'm a Pokémon, and we don't have money…"
"Fine! You, then!" she turned to Ash. "You're his trainer, right?"
"Uh…"
"I thought so. So YOU can pay me back for my bike." She held out her hand for the money.
Ash bit his lip. "Um… well, right now… at this very moment… I'm kinda… sorta…"
"Broke." Mewtwo finished for him.
"Yeah." said Ash. "So I can't pay you back yet."
"What?!" said the girl. "Well, in that case, I'm following you until you pay me back!"
"WHAT?!" yelled both Ash and Mewtwo at the same time.
"Look, if your stupid cat hadn't… wait, what IS that thing, anyway?"
"I'm Mewtwo." said Mewtwo, putting out a hand for her to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Yeah, wish I could say the same." said the girl, shaking his hand. She turned to Ash. "And you?"
"Uh… I'm… um…" Ash stammered.
"What, you don't have a name or something?"
"No! I'm Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town." he said. "It's… uh… nice to m-meet you."
"Yeah, whatever." she said. "My name's Misty. Now if you'll excuse me for a minute, I'm going to call home and tell them that I'm going to be travelling with you for a while." Then she walked over to the row of public telephones on the wall.
Mewtwo noticed that Ash's eyes followed her across the room. "Oooh… Ashy's got a GIRLfriend, Ashy's got a GIRLfriend!" he said in a sing-song voice.
Ash glared at Mewtwo. "Shut up, you idiot!" he snapped.
Suddenly there was a crashing sound, and the room filled with smoke.
"What? What's this?!" said Misty as she made her way through the smoke to where Ash and Mewtwo were standing.
The group heard two evil laughs from across the room.
"All right, whoever you are: Who are you and what do you want?" Ash yelled out.
"Allow us to introduce ourselves…" said one of the voices.
"To protect the world from devastation." a woman's voice said.
"To unite all peoples within our nation." a man's voice added.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
Now both figures appeared through the smoke.
"I'm Jessie." said the redheaded woman.
"And I'm James." said the blue haired man holding a rose.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!" said Jessie.
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!" James finished.
"Meowth! Dat's right!" chimed in a gangster-like voice as a Meowth jumped in front of the duo.
"Who are you?" asked Ash.
"I don't think he understood." James said.
Jessie tossed her head. "Hand over all the rare Pokémon in the center, or we'll have to take them from you!" She noticed that both kids, the odd-looking Pokémon, and the nurse were all staring at them with unimpressed looks.
"What?" asked James.
"This is the hospital. Not the Pokémon Center." said the nurse in a flat voice.
Jessie whacked her partner. "James! I told you we shouldn't have taken that left at the corner of fifth and main! But did you listen? No!"
James got up off the floor and rubbed his head. "Well, there's got to be SOME Pokémon here worth stealing!"
"There's only a few from the Pokémon Center that we… oops." the nurse covered her mouth.
Team Rocket all smiled. "Den we'll take dose!" said the Meowth happily.
Ash, Misty, and Mewtwo all glared at the nurse.
"Just how stupid ARE you?!" Ash hissed angrily.
"It was an ACCIDENT!" she hissed back.
"Hand over the Pokémon!" said Jessie.
"No way!" said the nurse. "Nurse Joy would hate me forever!" She paused. "Besides, why SHOULD I give you the Pokémon?"
"Because we want them!" all three villians said at once.
All of "the good guys" fell over anime-style and groaned.
"Well, ya can't have everything you want!" said Mewtwo, making a face at Team Rocket. "Nyah!"
"Shut up, you stupid cat." James said.
"Now, nurse, hand over the Pokémon!" Jessie commanded.
The nurse turned to Ash, Misty, and Mewtwo. "Quick! To the - "
"Batmobile?" asked Mewtwo.
"No, the BACK ROOM! Let's go!" They ran off.
Mewtwo was the last out shouting. "Holy smokes, Batman! We've been attacked by a gang of Pokémon theives! Shall I use the Batring? Or perhaps the Bat-theif repellant? I know! The Bat-catnip!"
Ash groaned. How in the world am I gonna survive training with HIM for a Pokémon?
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In the back room…
"We have to find some way to stop them!" said the nurse.
"Well THAT'S obvious!" snapped Ash.
"I was just summarizing for the readers!" she snapped back at him.
"How about the Bat-gizmo?" asked Mewtwo.
"SHUT UP!" said every person in the room at once.
Team Rocket was using Ekans and Koffing to try and break down the door. Even with a sofa, a table, and a refrigerator, (what Mewtwo called "the Bat-blockade"), in front of the door, it wasn't going to take them much longer to get in.
Suddenly Ash had an idea. "Mewtwo! Use your psychic powers to get rid of them!"
Mewtwo shook his head. "I can't! I'm scared!"
"Of THEM?!" Ash said.
Mewtwo snorted. "Of course not! Why would I be afraid of THEM?!" He paused. "I'm afraid of the dark."
"But it's not dark!" Ash protested.
At that very moment, the lights went off.
"See? Told ya. I'm psychic. I can tell the future… sorta." Mewtwo said.
Ash sighed. "How come whenever we need you the most, you have to go and have a panic attack?!"
"Well… because I'm scared of a lot of stuff, I guess. They call it paranoia. I'm a paranoid genetically-engineered psychic cat."
The nurse sighed. "Don't worry. We've got our own power generator." She gestured towards a room where a lot of Pikachus were running on a treadmill-like thing and generating energy.
"Wow! Look at all those Pikachus!" Misty said in amazement.
"They look like they're in pain." Mewtwo observed.
"Shut up." everyone said at once.
Then Team Rocket managed to break down the door. "Hand over the Pokémon!" Jessie said.
"No way!" Ash replied. Grabbing a Pokéball that was on the floor, he threw it. "You'll have to fight for them!"
The Pokéball opened, and out came… a Rattata.
"Ratttttaattatt!" it said.
"Well, THAT was impressive." said Mewtwo sarcastically.
"RAAAATTTT!" the Rattata yelled, running from Ekans and Koffing.
Ash bit his lip. "This one'll be better!" Then he threw another Pokéball.
Inside it was a Pidgey.
"Pidgey." it said.
"Ooh, I'm sure they're TREMBLING from fear of the mighty PIDGEY." Mewtwo said.
Ash glared at Mewtwo as the Pidgey fled the scene. "This one looks like a winner!"
Then he threw a Pokéball, and out came… nothing. The Pokéball was empty.
"Sadly enough, I must say you're getting better." said Mewtwo, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Whose side are you on, anyway?!" Ash snapped at Mewtwo.
"Uh…"
"Forget that!" said Misty. She turned to Ash. "You and Mewtwo get out of here. I'LL take care of these two." She took a Pokéball out of her backpack. "Pokéball, GO!"
Out came a Goldeen, flopping around on the floor.
"Is that the BEST she can do?" asked Jessie, staring at the floundering Goldeen.
"Gee, Ashy, your girlfriend's not much better at battling than YOU are." said Mewtwo.
"SHUT UP!" both young trainers snapped.
Misty turned to Ash. "Hurry! You know as well as I do that a water Pokémon can't fight on land. I was just distracting them! Now go!"
"Right!" said Ash, pushing Mewtwo out of the room.
"Where are we going, Ash?" asked Mewtwo. "Oh, I know! To the Batcave!" Then he ran out, followed by Ash.
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However, they didn't get too far before Team Rocket and their Pokémon caught up with them.
"Ekans, attack that weird-looking cat!" Jessie commanded.
"AAAAHHH! It's a snake!" yelled Mewtwo.
"MEWTWO!" said Ash.
"What?"
"DO SOMETHING!"
"Like what?… Oh, you mean an attack! Okey-dokey, lets see what I can do." He took a deep breath and turned to Team Rocket. "All right, you dweebs, prepare to feel the might of MEWTWO! Nyah!" He made a face at them
Ash sighed and slapped his forhead. "I GOTTA teach him something about intimidation…" he muttered to himself.
Mewtwo got ready. "Here ya go, Team Sucker!"
Then he caused a huge blast which destroyed the hospital, sent Team Rocket flying, and woke pets and people within a five-mile radius.
"Did I do good?" Mewtwo said eagerly, turning to Ash, who was completely fried.
"I think you overdid it… a little…" Ash said, wincing.
Misty came running in. "What happened? What was that huge explosion?"
Mewtwo smiled. "THAT was… a Batbeam!" Then he burst out laughing, as everyone else fell over anime-style and groaned.
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Later, with Team Rocket…
"That hurt…" said James.
"Uh huh…" Meowth agreed.
"Next time we'll…" Jessie broke off, and every memeber of Team Rocket realized something at the exact same moment. They all looked at each other with wide eyes and yelled in unison…
"THAT WAS A MEWTWO!!!!"
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The next day…
"So, Ashy, what're we gonna do today? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? What're we gonna do? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?" said Mewtwo, bouncing around happily.
Ash whacked him and turned to Misty. "Were YOU the one who gave him coffee?"
Misty shook her head. "I think it was the nurse."
Ash sighed. "Remind me to kill her."
"C'mon, tell me! What're we gonna do? How about we climb a mountain? How about Mt. Everest? Or we could swim! Maybe all the way to Hawaii! Can we? Can we? Huh? Huh? Can we?"
"He's even MORE annoying when he's hyper." Ash said.
"I would have thought it was impossible for him to get any more annoying." Misty replied. She started to say something else, but stopped and screamed.
"What is it?" asked Ash.
Misty ran and hid behind him. "A bug!" she said in fear. "A gross, disgusting, nauseating BUG!"
Mewtwo heard this. "A bug? Ew! Gross gross gross! Quick, Ashy, step on it! Kill it! Do something do something DO SOMETHING!" He scrambled up a tree.
Ash looked around, then saw the "gross, disgusting, nauseating bug". It was a Caterpie.
"All right!" he said. He took out a Pokéball, twisted his hat backwards, and threw the Pokéball. "Pokéball, GO!"
Will Ash catch the Caterpie? What will happen to Team Rocket? Will Mewtwo ever get decaffinated? Those answers and more in the next chapter of "If Mewtwo Had Been Ash's First Pokémon"!
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Well, whaddaya think? Am I good? Am I crazy? Am I both? Please review! I'm probably going to do a third episode, and maybe even more, but it'll go faster if I get some encouragement. (Hint, hint.) I am very open to constructive criticism. And to flamers - if you're going to tell me I suck, please tell me why so I can improve.