Rating upped to PG for one blipped out cuss word in this part. A bit strict, I know...
Ash started out on his Pokémon journey, but "accidently" recieved Mewtwo from Professor Oak, who was hoping to give Ash an impossibly powerful Pokémon that he couldn't control so that Gary wouldn't have any competition. (Hmph. Cheater.) But Ash managed to befriend Mewtwo.
Mewtwo turned out to be rather weird (Well, that's the understatement of the century.) - he was afraid of everything from bugs to the dark, (and flying purple monkeys… uh… don't ask.) and when he got scared of something, he couldn't do more than sit there and tremble. (Or faint.)
Ash and Mewtwo accidently angered a bunch of Spearows, and, while trying to escape, Ash was injured, (Mewtwo still claims it wasn't his fault), and Mewtwo stole Misty's bike to get away from the Spearows.
Then the duo arrived in Viridian City, where Mewtwo rushed Ash to the hospital. While they were there, Misty arrived and demanded payment for her broken bike. (Typical.) But soon after she got there, they were attacked by none other than Team Rocket, (Yeah, like who did you expect? Batman?) who had meant to attack the Pokémon Center, but took a wrong turn and ended up at the hospital instead. (Never let James hold the map.) However, the nurse let it slip that there were Pokémon there for treatment because the center was full. (Does that means that if the hospital gets full because of some freak accident, all the sick people get sent to the Pokémon Center? Oh, I feel really safe NOW.)
After a long and… uh… arduous battle, (more like a short "I-don't-feel-the-least-bit-like-writing-a-battle" battle), Mewtwo drove Team Rocket out by blowing up the hospital. (What about all the sick patients? Well, I certainly hope they have good injury lawyers.)
Team Rocket finally realized that the Pokémon they'd been attacked by was none other than an extremely rare Mewtwo. (Took 'em long enough.)
Ash, Misty, and the newly caffinated Mewtwo, (...what the heck was I thinking when I wrote that??), set off into Viridian Forest where they found a Caterpie. ("Nuh uh! It was Mew in a very, very good disguise!" *thwap* I thought I told you to stay in your cage!) Ash got ready to capture it, which is where we left off… (Well wasn't that a long recap?)
"Pokéball, go!" yelled Ash, hurling the red and white Pokéball at the Caterpie, right after his classic stock footage hat twist.
"Cata?" asked the little Pokémon, apparently oblivious to the fact that it was wasting its last chance at a free life.
**ZORT!** The Pokéball sucked in Caterpie.
"Hey! Isn't that one of those things that Pinky says on Pinky and the Brain?" asked Mewtwo.
"What?!" said Misty.
"You know, 'Narf!', 'Zort!', 'Troz!'. That kind of thing!"
Misty was about to reply when Jp39 told them both to shut up because this was supposed to be a dramatic, serious pause.
As it was, Caterpie had already been caught and Ash was running around, jumping up and down and screaming about catching his first Pokémon.
Misty rolled her eyes. "And you said MEWTWO was hyper."
"Cool! I'm not the weirdest one around anymore!… hey, waitasecond, does that mean I'm not special now?"
Misty promptly clubbed Ash with Standard Large Anime Hammer #13, hoping to knock him out long enough for common sense to regain control of his brain, and followed it up with a whack from Mewtwo, simply because he was getting annoying.
Both trainer and Pokémon fell to the ground, unconcious.
However, it didn't seem that Misty's attempt to calm Ash down did much, since mere seconds after he hit the ground, he jumped back up, fully healed, and began running around and talking about how great his new Pokémon was.
Mewtwo just looked confused. "Huh? Where am I?… what's that you say? You're coming to get me? Okay, I'll be-"
Misty cut him off. "WHO are you talking to?"
"The little men who live in my head."
Misty cracked him over the head one more time, which, while it didn't make him normal by ANY stretch, at least made him start acting like himself again.
Ash had finally calmed down a little. "Look! Inside this Pokéball is my very first Pokémon!"
"What about me?!"
Ash sighed. "My very SECOND Pokémon."
Mewtwo jumped up. "Cool! Can he be my friend?"
Both Ash and Misty sweatdropped.
"What?" asked Mewtwo.
"Mewtwo," Misty began, "Don't you realize that you're supposed to be some warped, twisted, supreme evil being?"
"Well, I WAS… but I got bored. Now I'm a good guy! So can the little bug dude be my friend?"
Ash sighed. "Fine. If it will shut you up."
"Oh, goody, goody, goody!" said Mewtwo, prancing around and clapping.
Everyone sweatdropped.
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Meanwhile, in another area of the forest…
"James, I swear, if you play that Britney Spears CD ONE more time…" said one voice.
"But, Jess, I like it!" said another voice, followed by the opening notes of "Oops!...I Did it Again", which was in turn followed by what sounded like someone having a large CD player repeatedly smashed over their head.
James fell to the forest floor, trying to count the little Pidgies circling his head.
Jessie dusted her hands off. "There. Now that THAT'S taken care of, we need to figure out our plan for stealing Mewtwo."
James seemed to have miraculously recovered. "I know! How about we come in, do our motto, pick a fight with them, and grab Mewtwo when it's tired?"
Um… then again, maybe the CD player had some permenent effects.
"Great idea, James!"
Oh, nevermind. Maybe it's something in the water around there.
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Meanwhile, with our… uh… heros… (snicker), Ash and Misty were arguing about whether they should ditch Caterpie, and which road they should take through the forest, and several other various things that had nothing to do with anything, and Mewtwo was delivering some long, confusing speech to Caterpie.
"…And thus I dub thee 'Little Buddy'!" said Mewtwo, finally wrapping up his longwinded christening.
You could practically SEE the question marks popping out of Caterpie's head.
But just because *you* could doesn't mean Mewtwo did.
"C'mon, Little Buddy, let's go shut those two up." said Mewtwo, pointing to Ash and Misty.
"CATA!" said Caterpie eagerly. It quickly shot a bunch of… uh… whatever that sticky white string stuff it shoots is, at Ash and Misty, who stopped fighting… mostly since they couldn't move.
"There! That takes care of that!" Mewtwo said in satisfaction. After leaving Ash and Misty tied up for about five minutes, Mewtwo decided time-out was over and freed them… only to have them pick up exactly where they left off with the arguing.
Exactly five sets of earplugs and thirty-two aspirin later, they made it to a suitable campground. Then the issue became who was going for firewood.
"Well, *I'm* certainly not doing it! There's all kinds of gross, icky BUGS out there!"
"So? You're scared of bugs smaller than you are?"
"Yes! And why won't YOU go for firewood, Mr. Pokémon Master?"
"Um... because I... um... I just don't want to, that's all!"
Five minutes later, Ash was in the woods looking for firewood, Misty was looking for something suitable to eat for dinner, Caterpie was sleeping, and Mewtwo was trying to figure out why he thought he'd heard "...Baby One More Time" in the distance, followed by a really loud bang.
Ash came limping back into the campsite carrying firewood. "Here's your stupid firewood, Misty." he grumbled. "I hope you're happy."
Misty took the firewood, glaring at him. "Aww... Is poor widdle Ashy too much of a wimp to stand five minutes alone in the woods?"
"I am not a wimp!" Ash snapped at her.
"Yeah. You're just a coward and a weakling!" Mewtwo contributed.
Ash glared at Mewtwo. "Whose side are you ON, anyway?"
Mewtwo shrugged. "Um... I dunno..."
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Later that night, afer many arguments and the discovery that Ash had kind of forgotten to buy food in Viridian, (which made all present rather cranky), everyone decided to settle down for the night.
"What about me? Where am I supposed to sleep? I don't have a sleeping bag!" Mewtwo whined as Ash and Misty spread out their sleeping bags.
"Sounds like a personal problem." Ash snapped.
"But... but what am I supposed to DO??????" wailed Mewtwo.
"I dunno. Why don't you try the ground or something?" said Misty, just as impatient as Ash had been.
"But the ground's all... nasty!"
"DEAL WITH IT!" yelled both tired and hungry trainers in unison.
"Sheesh. Somebody forgot to put on their happy face this morning." grumbled Mewtwo. Fortunately, nobody heard him.
"Aw, man, I'm NEVER gonna get to sleep on the ground." Mewtwo mumbled, lying down on the dirt near the fire. Of course, the instant his head hit the ground, he fell fast asleep.
Caterpie stared up at the moon with a sigh. Mixed with the soothing sounds of streams and crickets, the sound of "You Drive Me Crazy" could be heard playing in the distance.
"JAMES! IF YOU DON'T TURN THAT ****ING CD OFF THIS INSTANT...!"
Yup, nothing like the peacefulness of the forest at night to calm a person down...
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The next morning, Ash, Mewtwo, and Caterpie were quite rudely awakened by Misty screaming bloody murder.
"What? What is it!?" asked Ash, getting ready to spring into action-hero mode and defeat the evil bad guy with his increadible Caterpie.
"It's awful! It's terrible!" Misty shrieked, covering her face.
"What was it? A robber? A murderer?" Ash asked hopefully.
"Worse!"
"WHAT WAS IT!?" asked Mewtwo, losing his patience for the whole guessing game.
Mity uncovered her face. "Oh... um... nevermind."
Ash sighed sadly, disappointed that he wouldn't get to be the hero for another few minutes or so.
However, Mewtwo was now curious. "What did you think you saw?"
Misty looked slightly embarrassed. "I... um... just thought I saw *Nsync, that's all."
"EEEK! *Nsync!? Where!?" shrieked Ash, now getting ready to spring into total-wimp mode and head for the hills.
"No, don't worry, it was a false alarm!" Misty assured him.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
(A/N: Ack... please don't kill me...)
There was a rustling in the bushes.
"Run! It might be O-Town!" yelled Mewtwo, sprinting off in the general direction of Saffron City.
"No, it's not. It's just a Pidgeotto." said Misty.
"All right! A Pokémon! I'm gonna catch it!" yelled Ash.
Misty rolled her eyes. "Now who saw that coming?"
"Caterpie! I choose you!"
ASH sent out CATERPIE!
Enemy PIDGEOTTO used EAT!
CRITICAL HIT!
CATERPIE used CRY!
MISTY used LECTURE!
"ASH KETCHUM! You IDIOT! What the HECK were you thinking!? Call Caterpie back RIGHT NOW!"
Ash, still not quite getting what was going on, returned Caterpie to its Pokéball.
"YOU MORON! Don't you get it!? Pidgeotto EATS Caterpie! You could have gotten your Pokémon killed! Didn't you take Pokémon biology in school!?"
"Um... what's school?"
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to ask. But before Misty could release the five hour diatribe of Ash's training skills that she had planned, Mewtwo taped her mouth shut, figuring there was no need to prolong this episode any more than absolutely necessary.
Ash, eyeing Misty warily, turned to Mewtwo. "Okay, Mewtwo, go get that Pidgeotto!"
ASH sent out MEWTWO!
Enemy PIDGEOTTO used FLY!
MEWTWO used EAT!
"MEWTWO! Spit out the Pidgeotto! I want to CATCH it, not FEED YOU!"
"Mmmph is weallly ummy!" Mewtwo protested.
"NOW!" Ash snapped.
Mewtwo spit the Pidgeotto out. "Fine! Be that way!"
But Ash wasn't listening. "Pokéball, go!.... Yes! I caught Pidgeotto!"
Give a nickname to the PIDGEOTTO you just caught?
"NO! And where is this video game stuff coming from, anyway!?"
There was the sound of muffled shuffling and mumbling. Then, out of the sky came a voice...
"Sorry about that. I made my brother take the Game Boy to the other room. It shouldn't be a problem anymore."
Mewtwo gasped. "A voice from heaven!" he fell on his knees.
Ash shook his head. "Nah, Mewtwo, that's just the writer. Ignore her."
A bolt of lightning crashed down a few centimeters from where Ash was standing.
"Um... did I say ignore? I meant worship! Yeah, worship!" Ash said quickly. "Eh heh heh heh..."
Misty had by now pried the tape off her mouth. "Say, we're already on the sixth page of this fic. Shouldn't Team Rocket have shown up by now?"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
Mewtwo sighed. "Do the words 'Be careful what you wish for' mean ANYTHING to you?"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
"Is there anything in particular that you want?" Ash said tiredly.
"Um... no. Not really. See, this episode is kind of getting too long, but we now have a mandatory one-appeareance-per-episode requirement that we have to satisfy." Jessie explained.
"Besides, we wanted to say the motto!" James added.
"So now we gotta run!" said Meowth.
Then the trio ran off, with James singing "And they say, she's so lucky, she's a star. But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart thinkin'-"
"STOP SINGING THAT SONG!!" Jessie yelled, clubbing him with a frying pan hard enough to send him flying.
"Eee! Looks like James is blasting off a- hey, I can see my house!"
A star twinkled in the distance as James disappeared from the screen.
"Um... that was weird..." Ash finally said.
"You noticed?" Mewtwo asked dryly.
"I guess this is the end of this episode." Misty said.
The screen started to shrink to one side and the words "TO BE CONTINUED" started to appear on the bottom when suddenly....
"Wait, wait, wait! That's not the end!" Jp39 yelped. "You're not allowed to do that!"
The screen went back to normal size and "TO BE CONTINUED" disappeared.
"Hey, look! Caterpie's evolving for no apparent reason!" said Mewtwo.
"Cool!" said Ash, bending down to see his new Pokémon. "Nice to meet you, Metapod!"
Misty watched this from a short way away. "I've never met anyone like him..." she said softly. "He really cares about his Pokémon."
Mewtwo then popped up out of thin air. "Look, look! An AAML hint!" He turned to a bunch of people wearing "ASH + MISTY 4-EVER" t-shirts. (Who had apparently appeared out of nowhere.) "Quick, write that down!"
The weird people in t-shirts quickly began scribbling on their "ASH ♥ MISTY" notepads.
"WHAT are you DOING?" Misty asked, very weirded out by the t-shirt people.
"We're writing down hints that you like Ash!"
Misty turned pink. "But I *don't*!"
"Look! She's blushing! Write that down!"
"You people are WEIRD! Go away!" Misty stomped off.
"She is SO in denial." the t-shirt people said to each other, nodding and smiling.
"Um... in denial of what?" Ash asked, finally noticing the weird t-shirt people.
The t-shirt people laughed. "As if you didn't know!"
"Who let these people in here anyway?"
"I did!" said Jp39, her voice once again doing the freaky "boom-from-the-sky" thing. "They're my friends!"
"But they're so wei.... er... um... hey, whaddaya know? It's the end of the episode!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
"Hey! I SAID you can't do that! This is MY fic! Not fair!"
^_^ I forgot how much fun it was to write this fic. Well, I'm working on episodes four and five... still have no idea what I'll do with number six... so be looking for those sometime this millenium. ^_^ Just kidding. I'm hoping to have those done soon. But I've got three really big projects coming up over the next couple weeks, plus final exams, so... Oh well. Please review, okay?
BTW, that last part wasn't anti-AAML. To the contrary, I am a pretty firm Pokéshipper. I was just poking fun at the extremes some AAMLers go to to find hints. Also, I guess you probably figured out that I'm not much of a fan of teenybopper music. ^_^;; Nothin' personal to fans of those people; I just dun like 'em much.