Perfection Breakdown- A GW fanfic
Author: masamune
Disclaimer: If owned GW I wouldn't have to write this. But I am, so of course I don't own it.
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, not much else, at least not in this part.
Archive: If there's anyone out there that'd like to archive this I'd be flattered.
Part 9- Unknown Emotions
The pickup truck wound around the bend and finally crawled to a stop at the gate. The morning had barely begun, the sun had just risen and a cloudy horizon blocked most of it. The early morning dew was thick and the air was filled with the hopes that a new dawn brings.
The window of the truck rolled down and a hand pushed a card out towards the old man watching the gate.
"Good morning sonny," The old man behind the gate said, smiling. "It's hard to believe anyone besides myself is awake at this hour. What're you driving around so early for eh?"
"I've got my vacation," Replied the figure, who was wearing no particular uniform but had a distinctively long braid that flowed out from the back of a baseball hat. The young man wore sunglasses and patted his hands on the wheel impatiently, checking the rear view mirror every so often.
"Says hear," The old man began, reading the data on the ID card, "That you're not due for leave until 0600 hours."
/This old guy is such a pain in the ass/ Duo thought to himself, creasing his brow.
"It's 5:49 pops," He replied, annoyed and impatient as he checked the clock and then the rear view mirror. "Can't you just give me a break and let me pass through? I just want to get a head start so I can go visit my girlfriend, you know how it is."
The old man laughed and smiled back. "A girl eh? Hahahahah. Back in the day I had plenty of those to run after. Of course I'm just playing with you sonny. Let me just run your ID through the computer and you'll be all set. A few minutes won't make a difference, nobody ever checks the files on this back exit."
/Just let me go already! / Duo wanted to scream but managed a polite, "Thank you."
The old man turned around and began tapping away at his small, battered computer. Duo checked the rear view mirror and smiled. The old man stopped to look at the ID information.
"Maxim Andalsaar?" He said, a strange tone in his gravelly voice, he clicked at the keyboard a little more. "Well, you're due for vacation today alright. But, you don't look a thing like this photo son. Are you really Maxim Andalsaar?"
"No but I am," Came a voice from behind the old man.
He turned in surprise and got a facefull of Maxim's fist. The sniper's attack knocked the old man out cold and he slumped to the floor in a heap. Cracking his knuckles, Maxim quickly grabbed the ID card.
"Wow, nice hit there," Duo said, grinning and leaning out of the window. "Get the gate up and let's go."
"What was that you said about a girlfriend you had to visit?" The red eyed OZ soldier shot back.
"Come on! You know I was just kidding!" Duo yelled, flipping off his cap and throwing it in the back.
Maxim turned his attention to the gate control panel in front of him. A few minutes later the pickup was flying down the open country road, kicking up gravel and dirt as it sped away from the OZ base. The radio played an old, out of date song and Duo made sure to roll down the windows so the cool breeze made his hair flap around. It was the most carefree time either of the two could remember in a long while.
/It feels so good to be a free man/ Duo thought to himself, gazing out the window at the landscape around him. /It's been more than 2 weeks since I got captured/ He realized, figuring out the date. /It feels like longer than that though. Maxim… I've only known him for two weeks, and now we're together/
"What are we technically?" Duo asked, almost out of the blue.
"Huh?" Maxim had been concentrating totally on the road and watching out for any OZ patrols.
"You and me," Duo said seriously, "What are we, dating? Or is it… like tentative going out together?"
"I dunno," Maxim said dully.
"You 'dunno'?" Duo cried out. "We live in the same room for over a week, we make out like rabbits and then we break out of an OZ facility and you 'dunno' what we are?"
Maxim turned to face Duo, his soft, red eyes shimmering. "I honestly don't know," He answered, "But, I do know that I've never felt this way about anyone before in my life. I'd die rather than let anything happen to you Duo. I won't ever let anything happen to you."
"And to think that just two weeks ago you were using me for target practice!" Duo joked; referring back to the night the OZ sniper had shot him and captured him. It made Duo wonder where Wufei was.
"Where are we going?" Maxim asked then, breaking Duo from his thoughts.
"Where are we going?" Duo echoed back, not sure if he'd understood correctly. "YOU pull me out of bed at 4:30 in the morning, steal a truck, knock out a poor defenseless, though annoying, old man and now you're asking ME where we're going?"
"I haven't been outside of the base in three years," Maxim replied, somewhat upset at his naiveté to the world outside OZ, "And that was for an intelligence mission," He trailed off.
/His whole life's been the military. The only thing he's ever really known is his loyalty to OZ / Duo realized. /And now he's giving it all up…for me… He's a fugitive now; he's put his life in danger all for me/
"The closest place from here is a small stop house," Duo finally answered. "It's not a safehouse but it has food and a radio… though it wouldn't be smart to use it since we're so close to an OZ base. I assume they monitor the radiowaves in this area and it's pretty close to here."
"OZ doesn't monitor radio transmissions in this area," Maxim replied. "We can contact whoever else you work for once we reach that point. What's the location?"
"Around Pt. 1835, 352," Duo replied, pulling the location from memories of briefings and maps. Maxim turned away and the conversation seemed to be over but something still bothered Duo.
/Why didn't he tell me we'd be making an escape today? / Duo thought to himself, turning to admire Maxim's handsome features. /Why all of a sudden? He could have given me some warning/
"Why didn't you tell me we'd be breaking out of the base?" Duo asked. "I mean, you did tell me, but that was when you threw me into this truck and told me to drive to the gate and give the ID card. You could have told me something earlier ne?"
Maxim turned and something indiscernible flickered in his face. "It wasn't planned," He said honestly. "I had no plans of leaving until last night." The tall gunman stopped and Duo thought that he wasn't going to get a straight answer easily, then Maxim turned out the blunt truth. "They were going to execute you today."
"NANI?!?!" Duo yelled, jumping up in his seat. "The…they, OZ, going to execute me? I thought, th…the interrogation?" He ended helplessly, his mind a muddle. He'd been marked for death and not even known about it.
"After 05 escaped," Maxim said, recollecting his meeting with Treize just the night before. "Pressure was put on OZ to kill you because our interrogation was proving fruitless. You were supposed to be killed later today, I found that out last night."
"But," The tall soldier didn't allow Duo to get a word in. His eyes met with Duo's violet ones. "That's when I knew I had to do something; I just couldn't let anything happen to you. I wasn't sure if my plan would work until late last night…well, early this morning."
/He could have sat back and let them take me away. I was completely helpless and he stuck his neck all the way out there for me/ Duo concluded. /Does he love me that much? How much do I love him? Would I risk my life for him? Ch', what a silly question, of course I would/
"I love you so much," Duo uttered, resting his head on the gunman's shoulder.
"I love you too Duo," Maxim replied softly, only caring and passion in his voice, "That's why I won't ever let anything happen to you. I'll always be here for you, and I want you to know that."
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The two pilots sat quietly at the small table, both only barely picking at their food, not wanting to start a conversation, not knowing what to start a conversation about. As much as Trowa wanted to cry out how happy he was that Heero was finally well again, something held him back. Heero had a similar urge, but still something ate at him that got in the way.
/It's just like before/ Heero though to himself. /We're both acting as if there's nothing to say, but I know that I want to. I want to tell him how I really feel for him, but I don't know how. I don't know how to say it and I don't know how I feel. I don't understand these emotions/
Trowa pushed his chair back and got up. Without even a word he walked back to the kitchen and soon Heero could hear running water as Trowa started to take care of the dishes. All became awkward as Trowa left and Heero felt as if he should have spoken first.
/How do I feel about him? / Heero wondered, now staring at Trowa's empty chair. /How does he feel about me? Yes he kissed me…he took care of me and comforted me. It's obvious that he cares about me. But, is it love that he feels? Is it love that I feel for him? /
/This feeling inside of me… it's like nothing I've ever felt before. It's impossible to describe, and a word like 'love' seems so base and normal, can it really be all the wonderful and amazing things I'm feeling? /
"Heero?" At the sound of his name Heero looked up suddenly. Trowa was standing near him, his arm stretched out. Heero could only look into Trowa's sea green eyes. "Do you want me to take your plate?"
"…Hai, arigato," Heero automatically replied, his hopes falling a little. Trowa went to take away the still half-filled plate in front of Heero.
/What was I hoping for just now? / Heero asked only to himself, and the answer drifted back with no trace of doubt, /I was hoping he would kiss me. I was hoping that he'd tell me that he loves me and that everything would be all right… just like he would say when I was still sick. I…/
Heero's hand grabbed Trowa's hand as the Heavyarms pilot went to pick up the plate. He had a firm grip on Trowa's slender wrist, but not overly powerful. All stood still and the two wondered why Heero had done it, Trowa with hope, Heero with confusion. Trowa's green eyes sparkled and Heero thought that he could spend eternity simply staring into those eyes.
"Trowa…I…" Heero sputtered with his words, not sure why he'd even started to speak.
"What is it Heero?" Trowa replied, his voice calm and even, but his heart was beating faster.
/Tell him! / Something in Heero's heart screamed. /Tell him what you're thinking! Tell him how you feel! Even if it's only jumbled hopes and dreams and fears and there's no names for them, just tell him what's inside of you/
"I…,Trowa, I……..I don't know what to think right now," Heero ended helplessly. His cobalt eyes and his heart crying out for answers. Trowa let the dish fall the short distance back onto the table.
"I don't know what I'm feeling!" Heero exploded, all of his pent up emotions overtaking him. "But I feel that if I don't say something I'll just die! My mind, my heart are cluttered with, with all of this, and I don't know anything anymore, I don't know anything…"
Nothing made sense anymore, his whole perfection had come crashing down around him. There was rubble and nothing complete, everything jagged and broken. Then he managed to take a hold of one, solid, concrete, thought. It was a small, miniscule feeling but he knew it.
"But I do know that I liked it when you kissed me."
He bowed his head and let his grip on Trowa's arm slip. But even as his hand fell away he felt something warm and soft wrap around it. Heero looked up to see Trowa holding his hand.
"You don't need to know what you're feeling," Trowa said, his voice calm but caring. "Feelings and emotions are like wisps of dreams, you don't need to know everything about them. They don't all have a definition or clear meaning. The important thing is that you have these feelings and that you get only the best ones in life."
Moving quickly, the tall, Latin boy pushed his lips to Heero's. The Wing pilot's eyes flew wide open. This time the kiss was different for Heero. Before he'd been almost asleep and it had felt like a dream. But now, in the clear morning light, it all seemed to take shape. It wasn't concrete or solid, but it was something wonderful, and Heero didn't give a damn how much sense it made.
Heero began pushing back and returned the intimate connection. The two closed their eyes and tuned out everything in the world besides the other. Then Trowa pulled away and Heero's eyes fluttered open. Trowa was smiling now, and Heero thought that it was the most beautiful thing he could ever see.
"I love you Heero," Trowa whispered. "And even though I can't tell you exactly what love means I can tell you this… Nothing matters to me other than you. I won't ever do anything to hurt you and I'll be damned if anything else does. I'll give you all the best things in life that I can possibly find, and everything else. You're the most important thing in my life now and forever Heero."
/I don't know what to say, but I don't think that's what's important anymore. Even if it doesn't make sense, maybe it can turn out fine, or even better than that/
"Trowa…" Heero began, innocently, not able to look the other boy in the eye. "I don't know what love is. But I know that I want to be with you too. I'm not as sure of my feelings and myself as you are. But maybe if we try this together we'll get some answers."
Trowa shook his head. He reached out a hand to touch Heero's face. Running his fingers over the smooth beautiful visage, like he'd only done in his dreams, Trowa sighed. He tipped Heero's head up and their eyes met and locked.
"Words can't say everything," Trowa said, "You once told me that the only way to live was to follow your emotions. So, just let things fall into place."
Cupping Heero's chin in his hand Trowa tilted Heero's face up to his even more. Heero closed his eyes and waited for the wonderful feeling that came with Trowa's kisses to fill him. Trowa leaned forward to kiss the boy he loved, and then he stopped.
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Heero's eyes fluttered open, he face was less than an inch from Trowa's.
"What's wrong?" He asked Trowa.
"Shh, I hear something outside," Trowa quickly said, pushing a finger over Heero's lips.
/What's that? / Trowa's mind raced to connect the sound with something he knew. /There it is again. A car! Shimatta! OZ? Wait, listen… there's only one. Where's my gun? /
Trowa turned to Heero and whispered urgently, "Get into the bathroom, don't make a sound. Don't move from there until I come for you. There's a pistol in the towel rack. If somebody starts to open the door without knocking twice, shoot them."
/Car doors closing/ Trowa's sharp hearing told him. /I have to get Heero somewhere safe first. They may have surrounded this place and this car could just be a decoy to draw us out. Kuso, we shouldn't have stayed here as long as we have/
As Trowa cursed his actions he grabbed Heero's arm and pulled him towards the small bathroom. Keeping low and away from the windows they scrambled across the floor, trying to make as little noise as possible. Finally they reached the small bathroom, Trowa threw open the door and Heero jumped inside, going for the concealed gun amongst the towels. It fell to the floor and Heero picked it up, it felt weird in his hands.
"I will be back for you," Trowa said meaning every last word of it. Then he shut the door and left.
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"I've got to really take a piss," Duo said, jumping from the truck and heading for the front door.
Maxim cut off the engine and got out himself. He looked around, eyeing the green surroundings but mostly scoping out the stop house.
/Something's not right/ His instincts told him. /Someone's here! Someone's in this house! /
"Duo get back here!" He hissed sharply, just as Duo reached the door.
The confused Deathscythe pilot turned around, confused and pouted, "I really have to pee!"
"Get back in the truck! Something's not right," Maxim ordered sharply. He felt even surer of his hunch as he noticed a light on inside of the house. "Somebody's already here Duo! Get back in the truck!"
/Is it OZ? / Maxim wondered to himself. /Did they find this place before us? How could they possibly have gotten ahead of us? How could they know where we were heading? /
He pulled his silver, chrome pistol from his holster and clicked off the safety. He rushed up to the brick wall of the house near the door, making sure he was clear of the windows. He turned to see Duo still lingering around the pickup truck.
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"Get back in the truck!" Trowa heard the order as he crouched by one of the front windows. "Don't come out until I tell you to!" A car door slammed again.
/Crap! It must be an ambush/ Trowa thought to himself. A dark figure passed by the window and cast a shadow for only a fleeting moment. /He's going around to the side door/ Trowa thought to himself.
He cocked his gun and crawling on hands and knees reached the side door. Opening it without a sound Trowa got outside and flattened his back against the brick wall. Shimming along the side Trowa felt his chest rise and fall as he held his gun ready for the attacker to come around the corner.
/If I die here… what will happen to Heero? / Trowa thought, but shook it from his mind, focusing on the task at hand. /The enemy is just around the corner. Reinforcements in the vehicle parked in the driveway. I could get a shot off on the scout man, but would that give me enough time to get back inside the house before the other soldiers get me? /
Reaching the corner Trowa stopped and listened for any sound, there was none. Even the wind seemed to have stopped and all was as quiet as a tomb. Trowa waited for another full minute before he decided to take the risk and check around the corner.
/Nobody there? / He only caught a brief glimpse of the front as he tilted his head around the corner, but it was empty. /Where did the enemy scout go? / He shifted back to his original position and got an answer as a metal cylinder was pressed firmly against the side of his head.
"Don't move or I'll fire," A calm but strong voice said to him. "Throw down your weapon." Trowa caught a glimpse of the black OZ uniform.
/What should I do? Will they kill me even if I surrender? What will they do to Heero? / All these questions came to Trowa's mind at once but he had no answers to them.
"Throw down your weapon, I won't ask a third time," The OZ gunman said firmly, only a hint of anger in his voice.
/Is this how it ends? / Trowa wondered. /I can't die, I can't leave Heero. I can't surrender, I can't let them capture Heero. Caught between a rock and a hard place indeed. I'm out of options/
Trowa's pistol fell to the dirt with a dead thud.
"Now, turn arou…" Maxim's voice trailed off.
"If you kill him, I will most certainly kill you," Came a third voice, Heero's. He had his own pistol leveled at the back of Maxim's head.
A staunch, dry silence fell over all three as they considered how ridiculous but dangerous the situation was. The wind picked up again and shook the leaves on the trees. Maxim's thoughts wondered back to Duo, still in the pickup truck. He had no clue what these people might do to him.
Maxim hesitated and then replied, "If I surrender, will you spare my life and my friend's?"
"You're a very poor soldier," Heero retorted, Dr. J's scolding lessons coming back to him. "A soldier afraid to die shouldn't be out in battle."
"I'm not afraid to die, I just have something to live for."
"Drop your gun first and we may be able to work something out," Heero answered, but wasn't sure of how honest his answer was. He couldn't just let an OZ soldier leave with the location of a stop house. The only reason he hadn't already killed this OZ soldier was because if he did Trowa would also most certainly die.
"I think you're lying and that'll you'll kill me either way," Maxim replied coolly, calling Heero's bluff. "And if you don't spare me at least don't harm my friend. And even if you don't do that, at least tell Commander Treize that I think he is wrong for following Romafeller. He'll understand what it means."
/This guy thinks we're working for OZ/ Trowa put together. /But if he's an OZ soldier why would he think other OZ soldiers would be a threat to him? …wait…another noise/
Trowa wanted to say something, but he was afraid that if he made even the slightest move Maxim would blow him away. The footsteps got closer and then Duo walked right around the corner.
"Don't shoot him!" Duo cried out, almost causing both Maxim and Heero to squeeze their respective triggers. "Stop!"
-end part 9
Note: BLEHH! I had no clue how to end this part. I worked on the ending of this scene more than the rest of it and ever tried several different things but none of them were good. I'm really sorry for making the end of this part the way I did.
Duo is reunited with his long lost fellow pilots! YAY!
Part 10 will be out soon. Please send feedback to MasamuneEHS@hotmail.com