Hyne's rejection of fate…
**Disclaimer….yeah, whatever!**
I thought that I'd mention that this is my first time trying to do the html thing, so if it comes out completely weird on the screen tell me and I'll go back to using boring old .txt format!
So here it is….the long awaited chapter following Quisty's death…
Hyne's rejection of fate.
Nothing will wake her now…
The sun hides behind its silver crown
And makes of his tears a glimmering shroud.
The sound, soporific and melancholy. The silence, utter silence in the Quad. She wouldn't have wanted it to happen anywhere else. This was her home, her whole life. This was her microcosm; her first promotion, here. Her first rejection, here. Her first lesson, here. Her first weapon, her first GF's, the first time she…
Her first love, here.
Seifer bent his head and closed his eyes. Could he remember the first time they'd kissed? Of course. Of course he could. Would he ever, ever forget? And it had been here, here in this very Quad. The moment that would make and break his world. He had been in love; now he knew. That feeling of joy, that rising, bubbling feeling that had risen in his chest every time he had seen her; it had been love, and a love stemmed from trust, truth and friendship. The body was gone, but the memories, they stayed with him, the mind, not with the empty body that was gone. He let his mind wander, freely, through the arid and barren desert in his mind. It led him back to his first kiss. His first kiss with Quisty.
Seifer drank in the cool night air and gazed around him. The quad was silent, blissfully silent. Away from the crowds of milling people inside the garden, away from training, practice, hunting, killing, wounding – he was blissfully alone, and with his thoughts.
The moon was silver tonight; a particularly luminous effervescence of an orb, resplendent in all its shimmering glory, veiled like a newlywed in her glimmering shroud of darkened mist. It silvered the leaves and branches of the trees around him, silvered the floor of the Quad. It silvered the air around him so that each tiny atom of his being was purely silver, silver in bliss and delight. Silver peace. The fish were moveless in the silver stream that ran silently by the stage. Everything was …
"Who's there?" Seifer heard a slight rustle, a decidedly non-silver rustle. Just when he thought he could be alone, someone came barging in. Tell him it was time for practice, time for bed, time to do this, do that, do –
"Who is it?" He repeated harshly.
"I – I-m sorry. I thought there – that there was nobody here." A slender figure came into view as the slim blonde emerged from the steps of the Quad. Quisty. Of course. His instructor was here to tell him what to do, wasn't she? Yeah right, she thought there was nobody here.
"Pull another one. What do you want me to do?" Seifer cocked an eyebrow at the open-faced, pretty young woman. He couldn't help noticing the silver halo the moon wove around her sleek golden hair. The moon outshone the sun. Its silver silence muted the brazen gold in the night. The moon reigned during the night. The darkness welcomed the hoary glow of the moon and enveloped it in a black embrace. Seifer shook himself back to his senses. No time for getting poetic now.
"I just came here – to be alone." The words came out of Quistis' mouth as a whisper. Seifer felt a slight jolt in his chest. "You – you come here to be alone?"
"All the time. Though usually – a little later than this. I just need to have some time with my thoughts – you know?" Quistis looked at him. How could she expect arrogant Seifer to understand? Why had she told him?
But Seifer's face was wondering, almost – happy? "Me too. It's like I need to – have some space. Like there's too much going on."
"Exactly!" Quistis was vehement. Her feelings, coming out of Seifer's mouth! It was so unlikely it was almost – but she found herself speaking, inching closer and closer to him…
"Sometimes – I can't handle myself. It's almost as if the things inside myself need to drift away…as if I…"
"Was burning them. I know." Seifer's voice was husky and barely echoed in the cool stillness.
"You feel the same way?" Her voice was low now, though still silvery and almost as sweet as honey. Her sapphire eyes caught the light and shone silver; her lips, shining with eagerness, so willing…her cheeks, highlighted, resplendent in the moonlight…
He had only time to whisper… "You look b…"
Before their silvered lips met in the kiss they'd been dreaming of all their orphaned lives.
Their lips clung to eachother, at first clumsily, but then, as each of them realised what was happening, with more passion, more maturity. His hands found her hair and played with the soft strands in the most sensuous way she could imagine. She placed her soft fingers on his waist. He pulled her close and looped his arms around her waist. It was almost as if he was saying, "I love you too much to let you go." Nevertheless he said nothing, just drank in the sweet taste of her lips pressed against his and the soft wisps of golden hair tickling the nape of his neck.
The moon wove her silvery threads around them, her celestial light bonding the two young lovers with the ring of life.
Seifer shook his head thoughtfully. Why couldn't he have seen that she was the one for him? The one?
He cast his mind back to the troubled waters of the note he'd found. The note, tucked deep inside Quisty's crushed boots, that he'd found while sorting through her things. He remembered feeling the crisp white paper, opening it agonisingly slowly. The note was creased and lined, but clear. He'd scanned the words. The writing was rushed and cramped, and smudged with tearstains. The note troubled him immensely. Why would she want to – to – take her own life? If Squall had been around, or even Rinoa – he would have shown it to them. Asked why. But all around him, his friends were disappearing, deserting him.
Why hadn't he been there for her? Perhaps – perhaps his love could have shown her that her life was worth living.
He took the piece of off-white paper out of his pocket and bent his head over the writing. He scanned the lines for the hundredth time. Why?
To whoever
reads this…
First of all;
Squall, I'm sorry. For the things I've said, and done. I've abandoned you,
played with your heart, and hurt you in ways I could never have imagined
possible. But I just can't face ever seeing you, or anybody else again. I can't
take all of it. It's – I cant describe it, but it is like a wall of sadness
that keeps on rising and piling up, the rejections on top of it all, and
suddenly it has all come crashing down, I'm floundering in the middle of it, I
don't know what to do except for this. I feel like I'm an outsider. You'll be
better without me. I promise. Everything I love I can never have, and I can't
live with that.
Rinoa; I'm
sorry. For being sceptical of you, for not appreciating your bubbly nature, for
– for everything. After all, it's not really your fault that – no, you don't
need to know.
Selphie,
Irvine, Zell…the most wonderful friends anyone could ask for. You helped me
over my ups and downs, taking me every step of the way. There was no way you
could have handled my final and ultimate rejection. It wouldn't have been fair.
Just remember, I'm your friend, now and always, In this world and the next.
Seifer…I
won't be coming back. Maybe you'll miss me. Maybe…maybe you'll never be able to
miss me, in that way. Just please – find a place in your heart, however
small, where I can stay, blossom and grow, throughout your life and generations
afterwards. The heart will never die and neither will I. I love you.
Quistis Trepe
It was the last part – the part regarding him that brought the tears to his eyes. He tried to wipe them away as he stuffed the letter bitterly back into his pocket, but they were coming faster than he could wipe them away. If there was a person who had driven her to do this, if there was some way he could avenge her death – he would do it.
"Quisty…" he murmured beneath the tears. "There will be a place in my heart and soul for you. There is now, there was before, and always will be. I love you."
He looked up and an ephemeral, sorrowful smile fleeted across his tearstained face as he lightly replaced the filmy black veil on top of the woman he loved. The grave was freshly dug beside the coffin. The funeral would be tomorrow. Selphie, Irvine …they would be devastated when Zell told them. After they'd returned to the infirmary, Zell had gone, with his bowed head, and the tears oozing silently out of his eyes, to tell the others. The smell of earth stung his nostrils. First Rinoa, Squall, and then Quistis. Who would know when another friend would disappear. Now he understood Squall. Why – why attach yourself to people when they will eventually leave you?
At least Selphie and Zell had someone's shoulder to cry into. Selphie – Irvine – the sparks had been there from the start. Zell – the library girl, of course. He, Seifer, had nobody.
He looked at Quistis' coffin, lying dismally on top of the quiet earth. She was safe now. Nothing would hurt her, ever again. She would never grow old, never experience another hurt or sadness.
Safety was hers at last.
"What shall I say?" Irvine mumbled to himself. It was early in the morning, but this couldn't wait any longer. He was at the door to Selphie's dormitory now. He hesitated slightly before pushing open the door.
The dormitory was empty.
Where would Selphie be at this time of the morning, Irvine wondered to himself. He pushed a stray long of chestnut hair out of his eyes and caught sight of a small note on the dresser.
"Zell – I went to Squall's room, I'm just getting him. Come there if you need me. I promise I'll be quick. Luv, Sefie…"
Irvine wrinkled his brow, puzzled. He wasn't exactly keen on Squall hearing what he wanted to say to Selphie. Maybe if he could get her privately –
Irvine set off at a quick pace to Squall's dorm room, just down the hall. "Second on the right," he mumbled to himself as he pushed open the mahogany door. "Selphie, you're in for a big surpr…"
A roar, a beating of wings, a looming face set with rows of gleaming teeth. Selphie – dead? No, just KO'D! Must revive – what? What's going on? Save Selphie! Don't think of anything else! Ask – ask questions later –
Irvine took his place beside Selphie and quickly used a Full-life on her. Sparks flew and moonbeams crossed over from the heavens. Selphie groggily picked herself up. Her eyes widened as she remembered where they were. "Irvy –"
Irvine quickly cast an aura on himself. His mind was in a blur of thought, colour, terror –
Pound, pound, pound…
Irvine let loose his devastating Limit Break and pounded Bullets into the monster. Behind him, Selphie cowered, terrified, not quite recovered from her frightful ordeal. He had to kill this thing – had to defeat it –
Griever…
Kill, kill, kill…
Undefeated…
Pound, pound, pound…
Immortal…
Losing strength…
Exterminate!
Selphie! I love you!
Shockwave Pulsar…
Demolition Ammo…Eden! Come to me!
Eden?
Oh, Hyne, thank you!
Nuclear? My utter fate is sealed…
Is it dead? Is Selphie okay?
Rgahhhhhhhh….
SELPHIE!
The monster writhed grotesquely as it was hurled back to the ground. It shook a little, twitched, and finally exploded in streams of optic light, nearly blinding. Irvine closed his eyes and felt like he was being whirled in a tornado. His mind was dizzy – so dizzy – everything was black –
He opened his eyes and found that Selphie was in his arms.
He looked down at her and saw her milky white face, her terrified eyes. Yet she was smiling bravely.
"Sunshine…" He tightened his arms around her and supported her in his embrace.
"I was scared…"
What was he doing? She'd just been traumatised. He wasn't meant to be –
But it felt so right…
"Ssssh…" His mouth was millimetres away from hers now. He brushed the damp hair away from her forehead tenderly. "It's okay. I won't let anything hurt you. I'm here."
"Always?" From the look in her wide eyes, he could tell that she wasn't sure he meant what he was saying.
"Always." Before their lips met softly in the shadows of the destructive room, he saw by the light in her eyes that she believed him.
He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at her. So many things were unclear – so unclear…"
"Why? How? And…"
"No!" Selphie whispered the word, but it was vehement. "Not another word. Don't speak, Irvy. Explanations later. I've just waited so long…"
Her lips were on his again, her hands finding his hips and staying there. He pressed her to him, basking in the glory of that moment. Light was streaming down on them from the heavens. It was their destiny…
He leant in for another kiss, but just as their lips brushed, the door of the dormitory was flung open. A sharp intake of hurried breath, a choked sob, and the rushed stream of words that would change his life forever.
"It's over, Selphie. Quistis is dead."
I'm sorry not much happened in this one, but I wanted to take some time to describe people's feelings and emotions, and also to tie up the Ievine/Selphie. I promise there'll be some Squinoa in the next bit. Will Ultimecia win?