Sunday_Comics_Clash
Authors note: I do all of this format of story by vote-driven fights.  I ask my friends if x would win if they/he/she/it had a fight with y.  I ask them for commentary on the fight (Letters) and who should win (Vote Count). The character with the highest vote count wins-so don't flame me if your favorite character eats dirt. Sunday Comics Clash…

Garfield And Odie VS. Calvin and Hobbes!

Commentated upon by Top, the dog from Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island, and BottomBlue, a baboon with a cold butt!

Top: Aaaaand it's a beautiful day in the Khazan City Stadium, folks, as the contestants for our next fight gird their loins for battle!

BottomBlue: Whoever comes out on top here will win the empty slot in newspapers across the nation…

Top: …But before we cut to the fight, let's look at our mail bag!

LETTERS:

Will Delaney: I think Garfield and Odie would win because Odie would slobber all over Calvin while Hobbes would tackle Garfield and become tired and Garfield would fall on top of Hobbes.

Matt Ross: I think that Hobbes and Calvin would win because of Hobbes' sharp claws. I think that Calvin would also win because of his extreme brain power.

Chris Cella: I think that Calvin and Hobbes would win because hobbes would use his sharp claws and terminate Odie and Garfield would fall asleep on the job.

Chris Waskom: I think that Calvin and Hobbes would win because Garfield would fall asleep on the job and Odie would probably slobber all over the ground and then slip and get hurt so it would be an automatic win for Calvin and Hobbes.  Duh! The should win.

PRELIMINARY VOTE COUNT

Calvin duo: 6

Garfield and Odie: 3

THE ANALYSIS
BottomBlue: Crowd sentiment appears solidly behind the Calvin duo…  Looks like Garfield's got an uphill battle ahead of him…

Top:…But Garfield's got a lot going for him, including the fact that Odie's a dog and Hobbs is a cat.  Though much has been made about the fact that Hobbs is a tiger, he's too small to amount to much more than a tabby with good instincts.

BottomBlue: Calvin's the wild card here. At first glance, he appears to be the most harmless in the group, but he is possibly the smartest.  Then there's the possibility that he's brought his transmorgifier gun, duplicator, or time machine into the ring. If he's brought any of these, Calvin may have a TKO already.

Top: Then there's the issue of whether Garfield's energetic enough to fight-there's been some speculation, as you can see from the mailbag, that Garfield will just lie down and take a nap in the middle of the fighting.  However, a private interview with Garfield just five minutes ago has confirmed that he has had a three-week coap (Garfield's word for coma-nap) and will not be needing another nap for "at least a day".

PRE-FIGHT VOTE COUNT

Calvin duo: 6

Garfield and Odie: 6

Top: The contestants are stepping into the ring…

BottomBlue: Hobbes is sharpening his claws…

Top and Bottom: AND THERE'S THE BELL!!!

Top: Aand Hobbes is off to a fast start pouncing on Odie, knocking him into Jon's sofa!

BottomBlue: Meanwhile, Calvin is streaking towards Garfield with a speed suggesting he's ready to get started too…

Top: Hobbes is pummeling Odie, not even bothering to use his claws… But out comes The Tongue! Hobbes is suddenly finding his blows blocked by a pink, fleshy wall!

BottomBlue: In the meantime, Calvin and Garfield are creating such a dust cloud that we can't really see who's getting the better of it… But clumps of Garfield's fur are flying out. That can't be good.

Top: Hobbes has suddenly realized that he's punching Odie's tongue, and has withdrawn… OH!  Odie's tongue, with a life of its own, has wrapped around Hobbes, boa constricter style… Ouch. You can hear the ribs snapping from here.

BottomBlue: Garfield is… Running out of the room? Where's he headed?

Top: Over on the Odie/Hobbes side of things, Hobbes is trying to turn Odie's tongue into raw hamburger meat, but is having a rather tough time of it because of the several broken ribs Odie gave him earlier on.

BottomBlue: Garfield has returned, with enough food to raise the cholesterol level of a small nursery school…

Top: …And begins throwing it all at Calvin, who…It's hard to see from here…

Top and Bottom: HAS FINALLY BROUGHT OUT HIS TRANSMOGRIFIER GUN!

BottomBlue: This sure got interesting in a hurry, Top.  Garfield is heaving whole turkeys at poor Calvin, who is transmogrifying them into specks of dust in midair.

Top: In the meantime, Hobbs, despite multiple broken ribs, is thrashing Odie… Looks like the fight's pretty much over on that front, folks. Odie's raised the white flag and now, it's all Garfield…

BottomBlue:…Whose supply of food/missiles is waning. Calvin's strategy here is clear, folks: He'll exhaust Garfield's food/ammo supply, then go for the fat cat himself.  Let's get some audio down there, see what the combatants are saying…

Calvin: Eat frap ray, alien being!

Ckhhhhhhh…

Top: Looks like a turkey hit the mike, folks. Garfield has just run out of turkeys and is now hurling month-old fruitcakes at a rate thinner cats couldn't manage on their best days.

BottomBlue: Ouch!  Calvin's trigger finger was a little slow there, a fruitcake just gave him a nasty bump on the noggin!

Top: Calvin is being steadily forced back, but Garfield's once mighty pile of food is down to three fruitcakes, one turkey, last year's 2 lb. solid chocolate Easter bunny, and two watermelons.

BottomBlue: There go the fruitcakes…

Top: The turkey…

BottomBlue: The bunny…

Top: And the watermelons… OH!

BottomBlue: Calvin missed that last watermelon, folks! He's down on the floor…

FINAL COUNT:

Garfield and Odie: 10

Calvin and Hobbes: 9

Top: 1!

BottomBlue: 2!

Top and Bottom: 3!

Top: AND CALVIN IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT!!!

BottomBlue: In case you were wondering what happened to Hobbes, he collapsed on his way to help Calvin due to his broken ribs.

Top: Good fight, good night!