We Have Problems--A Psychiatric Story
Session 3--Barton's Bs
VM: Hello, everybody!!!!!!! Today, we have a man who claims he doesn't get good enough marks in school, but he has a B average!!! Man, I'd love a B average, but mine just happens to be a B-.
I love link: Eheh....... I'd love to get a C average! But, alas, it's only a C-. Life sucks. Anywho.... bring in Barton!
The security guards drag Trowa out of the backstage area, who is screaming and flailing madly.
VM: Hello, Sir Barton!!!!!! How's Sailor Nemesis?????
I love link: We just saw her yesterday!!!!
VM: Your point????
I love link: Oh, nevermind. Mr Barton, why are you here today?
Trowa: You tell me!
VM: Well, this paper says that you're an insane maniac because you don't get good enough grades. Buuut..... YOU HAVE A FRICKEN B AVERAGE!!!! PEOPLE WOULD KILL FOR THAT AVERAGE!!!! Anyway, explain, s'il vous plait.
Trowa: A B?????? A B IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!
I love link: A B is almost out of reach to a person with a C average. Don't complain.
VM: Maybe for someone like you, but.....
I love link: Put a sock in it. Mr Barton, let's get on with this interview.
Trowa: INTERVIEW?! What interview?
I love link:(sweatdrops) I give up.
VM: You moron!!!!! You don't even know what you're here for!!! You deserve less than a B average!!!!
Trowa: Well, excuuuuuse me! They drag me out of bed at four in the morning, and they expect me to know what the hell's going on?! I didn't even get a COFFEE!
I love link: I'm sure Mr Maxwell could help you with the coffee.
VM: Hey, Shinigami, bring out the coffee!!!
Duo brings five cups of coffee out for Trowa. Trowa chugs them down in three seconds flat.
Duo: Hey, Vi...... I'll be waiting for you at the Holiday Inn.
Vi blushes.
Vi: DUO! Don't say that out loud!
I love link: Please don't bother me with your tangled love lives.
VM: Whatever you say, lady. Anyway, back to Sir Barton.
I love link:(pulls out notebook) Mr Barton, could you please give me some pointers an how to get and maintain a B average?
Heero and a monkey dance by, holding *censored*.
Heero: I love *censored*! I blow *censored*! I love *censored*! I eat *censored*!
VM: OOOHHHH GROSS!!!!
I love link: QUIT IT WITH THE MOTHER******* CENSORING, YOU ***HOLES!
VM: When do they ever learn? Anyways, I think Sir Yuy and his *censored* should get a room.
I love link: Mr Barton, some pointers please?
Trowa: I don't know how I get a B average! All Quatre and myself do all day is ****!
I love link: How lovely. You really don't know how you get a B average?
VM: YOU FRICKEN BASTARD, MUTHA*******, RAT IN A STINKIN' HOLE, SEWER FILTH, STREET RAT, YOU'RE CHEATIN' ON SAILOR_NEMISIS! WAIT TILL SHE GETS A HOLD OF QUATRE, SHE'LL RIP HIS *CENSORED* OFF!
I love link: Contain yourself, Vi.
VM: CHEATING IMBECILE. SHE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU, YOU MORON. GET OFF THE SHOW BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF...
Trowa: EEEP!
I love link: This is stupid. Mr Barton, will you answer the freakin' question?
VM: YOU S**T, P**S, F**K, C**T, C**K-S****R, M**********R!
I love link: You've been listening to too much Blink 182.
VM: YOU'RE A BASTARD, IT'S TRUE! THE THINGS HE SAID TO YOU WERE WHAT I SAID TO YOU! YOU'RE A BASTARD, IT'S TRUE! AND I GUESS IT'S TRUE! OF COURSE IT'S TRUE, DAMMIT!
Trowa:(high-pitched) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
I love link:(faints from ear pain) OW!
VM: YOU SUCK MR ANGERS DICK! YOU SUCK MR POLUHAS DICK! NO NO NO, YOU SUCK QUATRE'S DICK, BUT THAT ISN'T THE POINT!
Trowa:(blubbering) I didn't do it! (singing) PICTURE THIS, WE WERE BOTH CAUGHT MAKING LOVE ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR! IT FREAKIN' WASN'T ME! I SWEAR TO GOD, IT WASN'T ME!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I love link:(regains consciousness) What the hell? I have a science presentation tomorrow..... I still haven't written the script..... later.......
VM: THE HOCKEY GAME, DAMMIT! I HAVE TO SEE IT, ORELSEI'LLDIE!!!!!! SENS ROCK! LEAFS ARE SHITS PISS FUCKS CUNTS COCK-SUCKERS MOTHERFUCKERS!
I love link: Good grief......... Aren't you going to Holiday Inn with Duo?
VM: Yeah, I'm watching the hockey game there.
VM and ILL: Goodbye, Trowa!
They leave.
(Authors' Notes: Because of the extremely crude nature of this chapter, we've decided to rate the story R. We wish we could rate chapters, but..... you know, we can't.)
DISCLAIMER: We don't own `Family Reunion' by Blink 182. We don't own `It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy. Okay? Good. Oh yeah, we don't own Gundam Wing.
Session 3--Barton's Bs
VM: Hello, everybody!!!!!!! Today, we have a man who claims he doesn't get good enough marks in school, but he has a B average!!! Man, I'd love a B average, but mine just happens to be a B-.
I love link: Eheh....... I'd love to get a C average! But, alas, it's only a C-. Life sucks. Anywho.... bring in Barton!
The security guards drag Trowa out of the backstage area, who is screaming and flailing madly.
VM: Hello, Sir Barton!!!!!! How's Sailor Nemesis?????
I love link: We just saw her yesterday!!!!
VM: Your point????
I love link: Oh, nevermind. Mr Barton, why are you here today?
Trowa: You tell me!
VM: Well, this paper says that you're an insane maniac because you don't get good enough grades. Buuut..... YOU HAVE A FRICKEN B AVERAGE!!!! PEOPLE WOULD KILL FOR THAT AVERAGE!!!! Anyway, explain, s'il vous plait.
Trowa: A B?????? A B IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!
I love link: A B is almost out of reach to a person with a C average. Don't complain.
VM: Maybe for someone like you, but.....
I love link: Put a sock in it. Mr Barton, let's get on with this interview.
Trowa: INTERVIEW?! What interview?
I love link:(sweatdrops) I give up.
VM: You moron!!!!! You don't even know what you're here for!!! You deserve less than a B average!!!!
Trowa: Well, excuuuuuse me! They drag me out of bed at four in the morning, and they expect me to know what the hell's going on?! I didn't even get a COFFEE!
I love link: I'm sure Mr Maxwell could help you with the coffee.
VM: Hey, Shinigami, bring out the coffee!!!
Duo brings five cups of coffee out for Trowa. Trowa chugs them down in three seconds flat.
Duo: Hey, Vi...... I'll be waiting for you at the Holiday Inn.
Vi blushes.
Vi: DUO! Don't say that out loud!
I love link: Please don't bother me with your tangled love lives.
VM: Whatever you say, lady. Anyway, back to Sir Barton.
I love link:(pulls out notebook) Mr Barton, could you please give me some pointers an how to get and maintain a B average?
Heero and a monkey dance by, holding *censored*.
Heero: I love *censored*! I blow *censored*! I love *censored*! I eat *censored*!
VM: OOOHHHH GROSS!!!!
I love link: QUIT IT WITH THE MOTHER******* CENSORING, YOU ***HOLES!
VM: When do they ever learn? Anyways, I think Sir Yuy and his *censored* should get a room.
I love link: Mr Barton, some pointers please?
Trowa: I don't know how I get a B average! All Quatre and myself do all day is ****!
I love link: How lovely. You really don't know how you get a B average?
VM: YOU FRICKEN BASTARD, MUTHA*******, RAT IN A STINKIN' HOLE, SEWER FILTH, STREET RAT, YOU'RE CHEATIN' ON SAILOR_NEMISIS! WAIT TILL SHE GETS A HOLD OF QUATRE, SHE'LL RIP HIS *CENSORED* OFF!
I love link: Contain yourself, Vi.
VM: CHEATING IMBECILE. SHE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU, YOU MORON. GET OFF THE SHOW BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF...
Trowa: EEEP!
I love link: This is stupid. Mr Barton, will you answer the freakin' question?
VM: YOU S**T, P**S, F**K, C**T, C**K-S****R, M**********R!
I love link: You've been listening to too much Blink 182.
VM: YOU'RE A BASTARD, IT'S TRUE! THE THINGS HE SAID TO YOU WERE WHAT I SAID TO YOU! YOU'RE A BASTARD, IT'S TRUE! AND I GUESS IT'S TRUE! OF COURSE IT'S TRUE, DAMMIT!
Trowa:(high-pitched) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
I love link:(faints from ear pain) OW!
VM: YOU SUCK MR ANGERS DICK! YOU SUCK MR POLUHAS DICK! NO NO NO, YOU SUCK QUATRE'S DICK, BUT THAT ISN'T THE POINT!
Trowa:(blubbering) I didn't do it! (singing) PICTURE THIS, WE WERE BOTH CAUGHT MAKING LOVE ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR! IT FREAKIN' WASN'T ME! I SWEAR TO GOD, IT WASN'T ME!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I love link:(regains consciousness) What the hell? I have a science presentation tomorrow..... I still haven't written the script..... later.......
VM: THE HOCKEY GAME, DAMMIT! I HAVE TO SEE IT, ORELSEI'LLDIE!!!!!! SENS ROCK! LEAFS ARE SHITS PISS FUCKS CUNTS COCK-SUCKERS MOTHERFUCKERS!
I love link: Good grief......... Aren't you going to Holiday Inn with Duo?
VM: Yeah, I'm watching the hockey game there.
VM and ILL: Goodbye, Trowa!
They leave.
(Authors' Notes: Because of the extremely crude nature of this chapter, we've decided to rate the story R. We wish we could rate chapters, but..... you know, we can't.)
DISCLAIMER: We don't own `Family Reunion' by Blink 182. We don't own `It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy. Okay? Good. Oh yeah, we don't own Gundam Wing.