A Moment Alone
By
Voodoo
" Why him? Why must it be him that has my mind always turning
about possibilities that I know that may never come true? He has me within a
trap that I have no way of escaping from. Why? Why? Why? I am a hybrid, not
designed with the intent to procreate myself. But yet, when he is near I have
an, a… desire.
Your fooling yourself Jenny and you know it very well. You have read every document you can lay you hands on and not one of them says hybrids should feel anything even close to a desire or need to mate.
But what if its not a desire as much as natural urge? We are human in part and maybe that is something deep within every single DNA in my body to do so. OK, back up and start over.
In the years you have been alive you have done it on several accounts.
But I didn't know about what I was, and I always took precautions, never knew why just did.
You call that an excuse? You know very well that they programmed you to mate with officials for a kill if need be, and being you, you know that they could have very well never know the effects of procreation and thus, took steps to keep you from… expecting.
Make ya more of a bitch that's why.
That's what I am, aren't I? Other then the fact that I am laying here talking to myself.
That's what I figure.
What you figure is what I figure.. God I am having a break down.
I don't think God had anything to do with this, you horny.
Bad choice of words my friend.
Again, I am you. I say what you are thinking and you know it's true. So. go get him.
And have him shatter every bone in my body for making a move on him? No thank you.
He's not a target.
Not true, he is a target in a sense, of desire.
So you are just going to lay here all night while he is only four doors down and sitting in front of that bloody computer of his?
I will have to fight the computer to gain his affection.
Or someone else.
Oh yes, the Zed. I don't think he "loves" her like that.
How would you know? He sure does seem to care about her.
They were close.
Just how close where they?
Like I know.. But I don't think Jeff is that kind of man.
Well, lets find out!
I don't know what is worse, the fact that I am talking to myself and seeing two points of view, or the fact that you, being me, has the desire to go and do something like that!
Well… They say talking to yourself if a sign of intelligence..
But replying back is a sign of insanity.
Ouch.
I just hurt myself, this is strange.
Get use to it, life has been very strange ever since you found out the truth.
And knowing that any day now I could not come back from a mission.
You are making this sound like the war again Jenny.
It * is * a war!
But you have never fought a war like this.. There is no gun, no death.
No way for a pre-program fight machine to find a logical answer.
Then there is only one answer to this un-answerable problem.
Shatter the mold and do what I feel.
It's rarely stopped you before.
Never had a reason not to before.
There is one now?
Yes, this could change everything between us.
What is there to be change?
Trust.
Trust is important?
Yes.
You trust him?
You know I do.
Have to ask. Would you not trust him if he rejected you?
No, I'd still trust him. But what if..
I know what you are thinking but say it anyway.
Ugh, you know why.
Yes, but you are talking to yourself in order to work this out to say it.
Doesn't find me ah..
Say it..
Attractive.
Feel better?
With an answer, yes.
I don't think so, you have seen him taking a few glances that were not mission related.
True.. so what now?
As I, being you, have said since the beginning of this little talk.. Get up off you ass and walk down there and enter his room.. I think you can take it from there.
All right. But this is hard..
I know.. do it."
++++
" OK, here I go.
Good, go already, before some one sees you talking to yourself.
I know you are going to be trouble.
Gotta live with me…
Here we go… Oh Jeff?
++
The end.